Hi... I'm Winson Payne... you know, the prosectur guy. A few years ago I was fired by the prositcuting office because they caught me kissing Marven Grossburg during a trial I COULDN;T HELP IT, IT WAS TRUE LOVE anywayz after that I had to find a new way to make money to pay for food and houses and stuff like that, so like basically? I started a mystery solving buisiness with all my friends. Best desciosion ever!

We have solved like, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many mysteries and stuff. We;ve caught ghosts, killed vampires, saved towns from zombies, and other epic stuffies liek tath.

We call ourselfs THGE MYSTERIY GANNG and we solve any mystery that comes our way, big or small. Of course you have to pay us money or else we arent doing shit, after all this isnt a charity. Its liek get outta here you broke bitch! LOL!

TEHH MYSTERITY GANGN consists of myself, my lover Marven Gorssbrog, Richard Wellington, Jackus Portmans, and of course trucyfan6969 who is the greateest person EVER and is basically the branes behind the operation. Her detecktive skills as a deteicve are unparriled. also shes kinda cute... but um _ dont tell Marvie Grossieburg i said taht tho lol

anywayz what I wanted to talk to you about today is the scariesyt mytsery we ever solved, its called the HAUNTED SPOOKY MYSETYRY WITH GHOSTS because there was ghosts in the mystery. Anyway that day started like any other day, the gang was all sihtting around the breakfast table at the clubhouse when I walked in holding a letter.

"joly shminkies guys," I said "it's a letter from the judge!"

"A letter from the jduge?" asked Marven Grostbut "But what could the jduge want with us?"

"I dont kinow, Marvie" I ripleid "but if I had to wager a guess, I'd say that the king ahas osme sorty omf mysetry on him hands."

"Well just don't stand there, Wincey" said trucyfan6969. "Open it allready!"

"Dear THE MSYERIUY AGNAG," I begun rading, "im writting you this letter to beseech your aid in catching the HAUNTED GHJOST that been haunting the courthouse for genearitons. My sources tell me that the ghost is jhiding out in London at the royal castle. I have included 5 tickets for Englind. Please, help us. love, the judge."

"Well gang" I said, looking up the letter with a familer twinlke in my eyes "it looks like we have another mystery on our hands"

"Mystery?" said my lover Mratin Grobsob "But Winsty Im scare of ghosts" and he started cryin.

"shut up BITCH" said Jackous Portsman, slamming down his energy drank. "Ugh your fat blubblery ASS is always crying, your such a wet blankit. Remind me why we keep him around agian?"

"YOU SHUT UP PORTSMAN" scremed trucyfan6969 while hugging Grossbuth. "You know he has PTSD from when his wife adn kids were eating by ghosts!" Being rmeinded of his truama just made Marven cry even more.

"Ugh!" said Richard Wellington, rolling his masacra. "Can we go one day without all this drama? i feel like im at the opera"

I sihged. It wasnt easy keeping this group of misfits in line. Jock Portsman is really strong and good at beeating up ghosts, but hes also realy abrasive. (Hes also kinda a hunksicle) My lover Martien Grossburt is a big old teddie bear and he gets scared really easily but whjat can I say I love him. Hes basically THE MIYSIET GANG'S mascot. Also, hes pretty good at luring out ghosts and deflecting ectoplasm with his obesity.

Richard Wellington is one catty bitch! He clames to hate drama, but he starts it whereever he goes. and he always looks FABULOOIS while doing it. But despite that, hes a true friend, and will never hesiate to put his skin on the line for the gang. Also, he studied ghosts and golbins and shit in collige so basically hes a really valuable assat to our team.

my girl trucyfan6969 is supermsrart and aweosme and her bangs are always on point. Shes the one who usually figures out who the real bad guy is by using loigc and contradicktions (sp?) and other lawyar-y stuff like that. If she wasnt a member of THE MASDYSERTY GANG she would probably be like a prosicutar or something. I woudlnt want to face her in court!

And finally theres... well, theres me. I dont' really have any speical telants or any unqiue role per se. But these people? They look up to me. They view me as a leadaer. Im like the glue taht holds this crazy family together. I usualy dirict the investergrations adn tell evartyone what to do. Its my job to make sure everyone fuflils there role. Its not always easy, but hellk, i woouldnt have it anyother waty.

i clapped my hands and got thier attentinon. "Ok guys!" I said. "Konkc it off! Accoridng to these tickets, the plain to lOnisn Englaid leaves in a few hours. Soe everyonbdy go to your rooms and pack your bags!" Everybody ran offf whooping and hollaring.

Except for Martin.

"Dont worry babe" I whisperd wraping an arm around hims shoudler. "One day we;ll find the ghhsots who murdered your family. We'll find them and when we do, we'll kill tham."

"Thank you Winsty" said Maevin, wiping away his tears. "You always know just wshat to say. I hgeuss thats wyh you are... myl over."

I smooched him on the cheek. "You got that right my ltitle Marvey Warvey." He gigled. I took his hnad and We staired into eacothers eyes lovingly.

"Cmon" I said "Lets go get packed. We got a plane to cathc."

"And dont forget a ghost" said Martven Groserbt

"hey Mr eager bever, I thought you were scare of ghosts!"

"Not when your aroun, Winsty pie" and he winked and jiggled his moustahce. God how I love that man. We went to get packed, lauhging and joking with the others in the hallway. Surely this would just be another mystery for the gang, right?

How naive we were.

We had no idae what was waitging for us in LOndin...

(end of chapter 1)