John Phoenix was walking in the park one day when he fell into a hole!
"What asswipe put this cunting hole here?" John phoenix growled. He was reallyreallyreally pissed off cuz he got dirt from the hole on his suit and it was a magic suit that his mother gave birth 2 seconds after she gave birth to him. He had been wearing it for the entire duration of his life (47 seconds)
"I'm going to kill whoever put this hole here," he said. And he meant it, bitch! He was fucking crazy!
He decided to hunt for clues. The first clue was to call the police.
"Hole in ground" said John Phoenix
"Im on my way, pal" said Gumshoe
The police arrived but they couldn't tell him shit. "I can't tell you shit, pal" Gumshoe said. "This hole just exists. No one knows why."
"No, detective, I believe there's a very good reason there's a hole here, TAKE THAT!" John Phoenix pointed at the hole adn there was a dead person in it.
"Holy fuckinglollies its a dead person" said Gumshoe. You see, THAT'S why there was a hole in the ground... to put the body in! Gumshoe arrested the murderer.
"You musta thought you were pretty slick, pal," said Gumshoe. "But your giant gaping hole gave you away!"
Later John Phoenix killed the man when noone was looking END