Notes: Inspired by Usedtobehmc's NSFW Ineffable Wives/Ineffable Husbands work on Insta. Warning for bondage and e-stim.
"Zira! Oh, Zira!"
Aziraphale sighs, raising one eyebrow but not his entire gaze from his book. "Yes, Elle? What do you need?"
"Let's play a little game," she suggests, thrusting a blue box at him, held tight in her hands.
"A game?" Aziraphale's eyes flick up. "What kind of game?"
"A trivia game." She jostles the box as if the sound of shifting contents might entice him.
"Hmm … that does sound like fun," Aziraphale admits, slowly closing his book. "I do enjoy trivia."
"Do you now?" she says, carefully lowering herself to the throw rug and opening the box.
Aziraphale slides off the sofa to join her. "Yes. Quite."
"Good. Because there are 6000 questions in Trivial Pursuit, and with any luck, we'll get to each one!"
"6000 you say?" Aziraphale repeats with a soft and nostalgic grin. "What a serendipitous number. Wait a minute … what are the stakes?"
Elle doesn't take her eyes off the board she's setting up, but her grin speaks volumes. "Oh, nothing too dire."
"Elle …" Aziraphale scolds her vagueness. He's fallen into her traps before.
She rolls her eyes. "For every question you answer correctly, you earn a thumbprint cookie."
Aziraphale's eyes brighten. He wasn't expecting that. "Oh! Delightful!"
"I thought you'd like that."
"But what happens if I get a question wrong?"
Elle reaches into the pocket of her skirt and pulls out a primitive looking remote with a single button and a red light. "You press this button."
Aziraphale takes the remote, examines it skeptically. "But … what will happen to me if I press this button?"
"Nothing," she says, placing the game pieces in the center of the board, followed by the dice. Aziraphale turns the remote over in his hand, then raises a brow at her. Elle catches his eyes, their suspicious veil. "I swear! You can press that button all you want. Nothing will happen to you."
"I hope you don't mind if I'm not too eager to believe you."
"I'd be hurt," she says, her plump lower lip sticking out in a pout, "but I'd understand. Here." She reaches a hand out, makes a give me motion with primly manicured fingers. "Let me show you." Aziraphale passes the remote over. "If you get an answer wrong, then you press the button like this." Elle demonstrates, pressing the button with her thumb. The second she does, the light shines red. For as long as she presses the button, the little light shines.
But that's all.
She removes her thumb and the light goes out.
"Well, if the button does nothing to me, why include it as part of the game?"
"If you're getting a cookie for every correct answer, you should do something as a penalty when you get one wrong. Don't you think?"
"I … guess that makes sense," Aziraphale says, trying to find the hole in her logic. But seeing as he's exceptionally good at trivia, and there are cookies on the line, he can't say that he sees a problem at all.
"Of course it does." Elle sweeps her legs underneath her and rolls to her hip. "Here." She picks up the dice and hands them over. "You roll first."
"Tell me, Crowley …" AJ circles the bed, double-checking the knots on the ropes binding the demon's wrists to his ankles, but only just for show. He'd been so good about climbing onto the mattress and lying on his back, getting into this position with no argument, staying perfectly still while she wove the intricate gauntlet that has him subdued "… you're always saying how smart Aziraphale is. Is he really, do you think?"
Amber eyes shoot her a look that could remove her head from her neck.
If Crowley didn't have the world's biggest ball gag in his mouth, he'd tell her that, without a doubt, yes, his angel is smart. Brilliant, as a matter of fact. Blisteringly so.
But he can't.
With the hard, red ball lodged so far back, he can't make a sound that comes close to decipherable words.
But there is no need for words from Crowley.
The e-stim vibrator lodged up his ass, buzzing for an excruciating five seconds on high, will do the answering for him.
It was ridiculously easy for AJ to get him in this position. She'd simply offered to tie him up so Aziraphale could play with him.
It wasn't technically a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.
It was Crowley who'd made assumptions.
He should know better by now.
"Did ya feel that? That, my dear, is just a taste of what's in store for you if he answers a question incorrectly," AJ explains with a condescending lilt and a smirk at the startled look on Crowley's face.
At how he'd jumped out of his skin when the vibrator went off.
She'd jerry rigged the remote, removed every setting except for one - maximum. Not to mention the tag line on the box had advertised this particular vibrator as unnecessarily powerful.
She'd been dying to put it to the test ever since the thing arrived.
She sits on the edge of the bed and pours herself a glass of wine. "You'd better hope your angel is as smart as you make him out to be, or your asshole's about to become one crispy critter."