Notes: Rika and Satoko are very important to me, so I've been wanting to write something about them since forever and finally there it is!

It's just a small thing and it's been a while since I've read the VN so there are probably a lot of details I forgot, but oh well.

Spoilers for the seventh arc Minagoroshi/Massacre Chapter!

Content Warning: Some mentions of violence/gore/injuries/blood and of Rika's previous deaths, mild panic attacks and references to traumas and Satoko's past child abuse, but despite the archive warning there's nothing truly graphic.

Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing; only a dark, deep blackness. The light had been there with her until a few seconds ago, and then it had vanished, in the snap of a finger. Was that a power outage? Odd. There wasn't any storm outside, or rain, or snow. Not like it'd snow in summer anyway.

(When had it been since the last time she had seen snow? She couldn't remember.)

She slowly rose up from the couch where she had been reading up until now, then narrowed her eyes to try to make them adapt to the dark. After a few seconds, she managed to distinguish some shapes, some vague forms among the darkness, but it was still hard to make out what exactly was in front of her or where she was. Tracing her fingers on the wall, she slowly walked forward, being careful not to stumble on anything. There was only one moment this kind of power outage happened, and it was shortly before they came after her. But that couldn't be it. It was just at the start of the month, it wouldn't make any sense for them to come right now. Unless… something had changed?

Anxiety started to grab her stomach and compress her lungs. She didn't like that. She never liked the dark, or the silence, because they were always unpredictable in those situations, and she hated the unpredictable. Funnily enough, given usually she was spending her entire time on the lookout for the slightest abnormal little details in her endless identical routines — but when she was herself in danger, it was different.

Her hands started to tremble, and then her arms and legs. Her throat and stomach tightened. Her breathing got rougher, harder. That wasn't good. She needed to stay concentrated. To focus. But focus on what? She couldn't see anything, and aside her own footsteps, she couldn't hear anything either.

Suddenly, she felt one of her feet get trapped into something, and before she could even realize what was going on she lost her balance and fell on the ground. The pain was immediate; thankfully, her arms had amortized the shock, but the soreness of the fall was still very striking. How strange that such a superficial thing could still hurt her this much, after all the severe injuries she had endured and all the blood she had shed before. But maybe it was a good sign she could still feel hurt like that. If she could feel pain even now, then that meant she was still alive.

(Still human.)

It took some time for her to regain her spirits, then she turned around to see her foot had gotten stuck in a board. To be more exact, the board had broken, and her foot had gotten through it. It shouldn't be all that surprising. Their house was pretty old, and she had noticed it needed some renovations a long time ago already. It had just been the last thing on her list of priorities, and furthermore, until now it had never posed any problems. Maybe something had changed in this world, after all.

She tried to free her foot from the hole, but it seemed to have gotten seriously stuck. On top of that, the broken board was in the way, which complicated even more the matter. Quickly starting to get frustrated, she got agitated and twitched relentlessly her leg. Her skin got scratched and bloodied in the process, but at this point she didn't care. She just wanted to get out — she wanted the light to come back, the sound to returns, the uneasiness grabbing her to go away. But none of that became reality, so instead, her anxiety kept on growing further and further, to the point where even breathing started to get difficult for her.

She knew, subconsciously, that she needed to calm down and think about the situation with a cool head, but her constricted stomach and her excessive pounding heart in her chest wouldn't let her. She just felt trapped and wanted a way out. Any way out. The darkness around her started to dance, as if some strange shapes had surrounded her, and it only added to her panic.

Until, that was, a soft light broke out in the room.

"Rika?"

A familiar voice called out to her. She raised her head, and the first thing she saw was a blinding light — way too dazzling for her eyes who had been used to the dark since then. Then, slowly, she distinguished in front of her the silhouette of a young girl with short blonde hair and plum eyes, holding a small flashlight. She didn't need to actually see her to know who it was, though.

There had always only been one person who could bring her light.

"So you were there! I was looking for you all around the house, I was so worried! Geez, can you believe that power outage? It's not even raining outside! It's ridiculous… Wha— wait, Rika? Are you okay?"

Satoko stopped in the middle of her garland of complaints when she truly realized that her best friend was lying on the ground, her leg stuck in the ground.

"Oh my God! Rika, what happened? Oh God, your leg's bleeding!"

"I'm fine—" Rika tried to say, but she couldn't even utter more than this that Satoko was already kneeling next to her, a worried frown on her face.

"Ugh, it's not fine at all!" She replied while grimacing. "You have such an ugly wound, it must really hurt!"

"Ah, I—"

"Wait, don't move."

Satoko grabbed the small flashlight in her mouth, rummaged through her satchel at her hip and took out what looked like a little hammer. With this, she started to work with the broken board, and as she had always been infinitely more nifty and gifted than Rika could ever hope to be, she managed to free her foot in only a handful of minutes.

"There!" Satoko exclaimed, proudly, before looking at her friend's fresh wound near her ankle. "Ew, that look even worse from up close… Ah, wait, Rika? What are you doing?"

The blue-haired girl didn't wait any more and as soon as she was free she stood up, leaning on the wall for support while doing so. Her leg hurt whenever she'd put the slightest pressure on it. She was still trembling. Her stomach was tied in a knot. She felt like throwing up.

(She hated it. She hated everything.)

"Hey, Rika! You can't stand up yet!"

"I'm fine," Rika just repeated, but of course Satoko was stubborn and there was no way she would take that as a sufficient answer.

"As if! We need to take care of that wound. Stay here, I'll come back right away with bandages."

"I don't need that, I can walk."

Her voice was raspy, dry — talking and breathing was harrowing, like a struggle on its own. What she had said wasn't entirely a lie, though — she could walk, but it would be pretty painful. However, she refused to let herself be that helpless any more seconds. Not in the darkness, not in the silence, not in front of Satoko.

"God, now's not the time to play tough! It'll take only a minute—"

"I said I was fine!"

Rika yelled and glared, finally lashing out her pent-up frustration and uneasiness. She was almost panting, almost coughing, her flabby legs actively fighting to not crumple on the ground. Satoko flinched at her outburst, but she did her best to regain her composure and reached towards her friend.

"Come on, Rika, it's not—"

"Don't touch me!"

Before Satoko's hand could even brush her, Rika slapped it away and screamed.

"D-Don't you dare to touch me! Can't you understand when I tell you something? Why are you always so stupidly stubborn? Why do you never do as I told you to? This is the reason you and the others keep on dying! Because you never, never listen to me and do as I tell you to!"

The other girl instantly shrunk back and put her arms in from of her face instinctively, looking at Rika with wide, fearful eyes. As if she was expecting her to hit her. To hurt her. And even with her whole body still shaking and her throat choking up and her breathing hard, Rika felt a sinking feeling upon realizing this.

She knew she shouldn't have done that. She should have known better. She knew Satoko better than anyone — maybe even better than her own brother — and she knew all the abuse she had been through, all the traumas she still bore inside her. And she knew that every screams or abrupt motions could be as painful to her as an actual kick. She knew that she, all of people, shouldn't act like that. She was Satoko's only ally — her partner in crime, her best friend, her only family left. She swore, a long, long time ago, that she would always be there for her and protect her against anything — even if the whole world were to turn against her, she would forever stay by Satoko's side.

That's why she shouldn't let that side of herself slip up through to anybody, and certainly not to Satoko. She should always be the cute, smiling, happy Rika to her friends, to her. The Rika everyone loved. The gloomy, alcoholic cynical girl (woman?) who's head was full of death and blood and scars, she only reserved it to Hanyuu and to the moon.

(No one wanted that Rika, not even herself.)

She knew that. She knew that. But…

But for some reason, her logic and reason had disappeared at the same time the board had broken, and she couldn't manage to retrieve them.

"You… You… All of you…! A-All of you are just fools! Incapable fools! If you like to die and ruin your lives that badly, then go for it! But leave me out of that!"

With each of her shouts, Satoko's face decayed, and with it Rika's heart — but still, she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. She was—

("See? You're not even able to protect the one you love from yourself," whispered the dark, cackling witch in her head. "Poor, poor child. Look how scared she looks. You really are a horrible person, huh?")

She had the sensation her head was going to explode.

Maybe it would be better if her head did explode.

Yes, let it explode, let it cover the floor with brain parts and blood. Wouldn't be the first time this happen, right? Or would it? She couldn't recall.

Let her sleep, for once and for all, for all eternity.

And with some luck, this time she even wouldn't wake up once again with Hanyuu's sad face in front of her eyes.

This time, she would just sleep forever, just slowly disappear, disintegrate, in the infinity of the universe…

"Rika! Watch out…!"

Rika suddenly returned to reality — she felt that, for a moment, she had spaced out, as if she hadn't been in her house but somewhere elsewhere — but as soon as she did, she noticed she had stepped back, and that Satoko was looking at her with a distressed expression, and before she could even understand why—

—she felt her foot once again get stuck into something, and pass through the wooden floor. Except this time, it was not just one board that had broken, but a bunch of them — making her entire body follow her leg. She next saw a cloud of brown smoke and dust, then felt a vivid pain — a lot more intense than earlier. Her mind was hazy, and she coughed and coughed. For some time, she couldn't understand what had happened. She even wondered if maybe some god had listened to her wish for once and had killed her…

"Rika! Rika…!"

But then Satoko's worried face bent over her, and she realized that the other girl wouldn't still be with her if she truly was dead.

"Rika, are you okay? Please, Rika, answer me! Are you okay?"

Satoko spoke really quickly in a shrilling voice — as she tended to do whenever she was deeply anxious — and wiggled her flashlight in front of her friend who was lying on the floor, her arms and long hair all scattered around her. Rika noticed Satoko was squatting a few meters away on top of her, and that's when she slowly realized the situation: the floor had likely broken down, and she had fallen in a hole under the house. It wasn't a very deep pit, but the fall had still been quite painful to her back, and her wound at her foot stung quite a bit as a result.

"Rika!" Satoko called again, her voice noticeably upset, which made Rika realize she should answer to her.

"I'm—"

—tired.

"—fine."

Upon hearing her best friend's small, hoarse voice, Satoko relaxed and let out a long sigh.

"Okay," she said softly. "Okay… So… uh, c-can you move? N-No, wait, don't move, I'm coming! I'll come with you in a second, okay? D-Don't move!"

All while talking fastly, Satoko stood up and started to go down in the newly-formed hole. It wasn't a profound cavity at all, and for someone as nimble as Satoko it wouldn't be difficult to climb down, but Rika still thought it was pretty reckless of her. Still, she didn't say anything. She didn't feel like opening her mouth. Or moving. Even blinking felt like hard work. So she just stayed on the ground, stretched out in that hole, while looking at her friend coming at her.

As expected, Satoko rejoined her in only two minutes, and she quickly kneeled at her side, branding her flashlight at Rika, like a funny mimicking of their situation earlier.

"Are you hurting anyway? I mean, aside from your foot, of course— Maybe your back? It seemed you fell on your back pretty hard, so it must hurt, right? Okay, I'll, uh, I'll look at it, okay? So if it hurts, you tell me, okay?"

Rika stayed completely silent as Satoko began to inspect her with her small light. She very carefully touched Rika's hips, barely brushing them, as if she was afraid to break anything. For quite a moment, no one talked. If she closed her eyes and focused, Rika could almost hear the cries of the cicadas outside.

"Why do I even bother…?"

This was a whisper. She had finally stopped screaming, but her body was still trembling and her spirits still felt in pieces, as if she was about to shatter.

"Huh?"

"Why do I even try to save you…? There's no point… Why…? I just… I'm just… so tired…"

Satoko looked over at her, expecting something more, an explanation maybe. But Rika still said nothing. She didn't even looked at her friend, instead staring at the ceiling — that familiar ceiling, with the exact same cracks and exact same spider webs. She had memorized every one of them by now, even she had never meant to.

"You've never wanted to go live in the main house?"

Satoko jumped, surprised by Rika's abrupt change of subject. "Th-The main house…?" She repeated.

"Next to the Furude shrine. Where I used to live with my parents before…"

"A-Ah…"

"That place where we live… is pretty pitiful. It's old, and small, and even starting to collapse. It's such a decrepit house." She smirked. "Nah, it's not even a house. A shack. It's a stupid shack. Even my mother used to complain about it back then. Yeah, I forgot a lot of things, but this I remember… for some reason…"

"Rika…?"

"But the Furude residence is quite big. If we lived here… we'd be a lot more comfortable…"

Satoko removed her hands from Rika's hips, and she stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Well, um, yeah, probably," she said hesitantly. "But isn't that… what we decided at the start? That it'd be better to live here rather than in the main house, because it'd feel too awkward to be in such a big house just with the two of us… Furthermore…" Satoko paused. Winced. Looked away. "You… didn't want it to remind you of your parents… right?"

Yes, that had been what Rika had told her back then. But it wasn't really true, not entirely. Sure, the part about it being more suited for the two of them to live in a smaller place than in the large Furude residence was true. But concerning her parents? Honestly, Rika hadn't thought about them since a long time ago. Maybe it had been the case, the very first time she proposed to Satoko to live together, but… she couldn't recall. Now, as cold as it might sound, she didn't care much about them anymore. They were already dead, in her heart and in every world. No, her principal reason for choosing to go live in that shack was because… she thought Satoko would feel more at ease in here than in the residence. She knew she'd feel nervous and out of place in such a huge familial house, and that she could never bring herself to see this as her 'home.' And more than anything, Rika had always wanted to give Satoko that — a home. Where she'd feel safe and happy. Where she'd want to return to. However… she noticed now she had never even asked Satoko what she thought about it. As usual, she had just assumed things about her friend without even questioning it.

(For as much as she was saying she wanted to make Satoko happy more than anyone else, she was still a pretty self-centered person, wasn't she?)

"That's true," Rika added. "But if you had the choice. Would you like to go live in the main house?"

Satoko frowned a little, and she seemed to genuinely consider the question. But after a while, she shook her head. "No… I don't think so… It's true that this house is a bit… well, like you said, it's small and a bit… tatty, but… it's more cozy? And I… prefer that. But, to be honest…"

"Hmm…?"

Satoko looked away. She seemed to be reluctant, and… blushing?

"T-To be honest… I think… the place doesn't really matter. I'd be able to live anywhere, as long as… as long as you're with me."

Rika blinked, surprised, and while Satoko's cheeks were still a bit red, she flashed her a small, genuine smile.

"If Rika is here with me, then no matter where we are I'll always feel at home."

Rika's mind blanked for a while. Surely, that was something she could have guessed by herself. She knew for years — decades — that Satoko liked her a lot, obviously — but hearing her saying something like this was still… a shock.

"D-Does that sounds stupid?" Satoko asked, suddenly embarrassed.

"No! Not at all, it's…"

Rika sighed.

"It's not… stupid at all. It's… I… I actually… feel the same…"

"Eh? Really?"

Rika took a big inspiration, then covered her eyes with her arms as she felt tears coming up.

"I'm an idiot," she blurted out.

"Wh-What? What now?"

"I'm sorry. I'm such a big, huge idiot."

Why? She had asked herself earlier. Why did she even bother?

That was why. That was because she couldn't give up on this. It was painful. It was horrible. She still wished to die and stay die more than once.

But in the end, she couldn't give up on her life. She couldn't give up on her friends. She couldn't give up on her.

She couldn't give up on her home.

"I'm sorry, Satoko… I'm so sorry…"

"Wh-Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm sorry… for being such a bad friend… I'm sorry for yelling at you… and snapping at you… and for everything else…"

This time she really had to struggle to not burst into tears, and she couldn't even refrain a few sobs from escaping her. For quite a while, nothing moved and no sounds was made in the hole aside from the few occasional muffled sobs of Rika. Then finally, after some time, she heard a rustling of fabric. Two little, warm arms encircled her. Embracing her. Tightly.

"I… I'm not sure what's going on with you, Rika," Satoko confessed, her voice unusually soft and tender. "Sometimes, it's as if… I don't know you at all. As if you're a completely different person. And… A-And I admit, that really… scares me."

Rika closed her eyes. Of course, she couldn't tell her there was, in fact, a completely different Rika Satoko knew nothing about. An old drunk Rika with a black heart who spent her nights sipping wine in company of a dead goddess, her thoughts full of morbidity and bitterness.

"I'm… not sure what happened earlier… I'm not sure what you apologize for… but, I…" Satoko gulped. "You're not an idiot or a bad friend. You're my best friend… No, you're more than that. You're my home, remember? So, I… don't want you to talk about yourself like that. Ever again. Okay?"

Rika thought this was quite ironic coming from Satoko, as she was usually the one who kept being self-deprecating and beat herself down, not matter what anyone would say to her. But she felt too exhausted to call her out on that. Instead, she buried her head into Satoko's neck, circling her waist, trying to take in her heat, her strength, her kindness.

"C-Can we… stay here?" She murmured, her voice muffled in Satoko's clothing. "Just for… a little while…"

The other girl chuckled. "Sure. We'll have to clean up everything afterwards, though… but that can be afterwards."

Satoko gently ran her hand in her long, dark hair, while Rika just closed her eyes. And even in that hole, in the middle of these rubbles and remains, right now she just felt safe and complete.