The head of the Royal Guard prepared to venture to New Home. This would normally be Undyne's return back for the daily report to King Asgore, but today changed her life forever.
Undyne has killed her first human. An adorable, little girl in a ballerina outfit, with such dignified, graceful Integrity that she refused to ACT at all in the one-sided battle, unwilling to FIGHT – or talk – back against Undyne's excessive taunting. The child even refused to flee from her ruthless attacks. While she still lived and breathed, she carried herself like a princess; an elegance and natural spring in her step. She was so beautiful in life. So ethereal were her movements, even as her dreamy eyes faded – as her body convulsed under Undyne's spear buried deeply into her chest. She let out a light wail, a final whisper echoing into the misty, cool cavern's wind, as Undyne yanked out her weapon, fresh blood spilling out from the fatal wound. She fell silent, and the temperature seemed to drop amid her death as if it was all not for naught. There was a purpose to this act. There was power in this act. Her SOUL left her cold, dripping body, scarlet marring the rest of her ballet clothes and the scent of iron permeating the air. That lovely blue light shocked Undyne, wanting so badly to lose herself in it. This is the real beauty of humanity, Undyne thought with delight she has never known.
In death, she lived. Her determination was – is – timeless. Incorporeal.
It was almost poetic. Almost.
Undyne did not care about how harmless the child was. All she cared for was the ends to justify the means, meaning breaking the barrier to free Asgore's people from millennia of imprisonment. Sans watched the slaughter from beginning to end, as he hid in the distance, blending in with the cavern's darkness. It hurt to watch. Undyne took the human's blue SOUL from the child's bloody corpse and put it in a capsule. As she stood still to glimpse at the softly glowing heart, Sans turned his back on her. He grinned grimly, took a step forward, and vanished.
After Asgore appointed Sans as a 'scout' of sorts, Undyne was not happy in the slightest. He would fall asleep even more frequently while on sentry duty, and worse yet, Sans had the audacity to set up an illegal hot dog stand. She was still baffled how he could operate four sentry stations within a one day, but that did not matter to her. What mattered were results, and he produced only mundane written reports, consisting of brief words, such as "nothing here", "nope", "the usual". If Sans felt bored enough, he would end up writing about the most inane tasks. "i made a 'dog." "i made a hotcat today." "i made an apostrophe 'dog today." And so on. Sans was so good at doing the bare minimum that Undyne really couldn't fire him, especially with Asgore insisting to keep him around, because it didn't hurt to have an extra pair of eyes –or eye sockets. To Undyne, the 'scout' job was only a re-wording of 'sentry'. And that is what Sans remained in Undyne's eyes - a lowly, lazy, good-for-nothing sentry.
What Undyne didn't know was that Sans' sentry job was no longer about making daily reports to her, although he still made them to appease the boisterous fish monster. Sans in actuality chosen for the sole purpose of protecting Asgore from human invaders, as a last resort. As if that wasn't strange enough, there was yet another layer on top of another in his duties.
One of Sans's many secrets was that he is supposed to stalk humans right after they leave the Ruins. On Asgore's command, Sans is to hunt down and execute any human that Sans deemed a threat. Asgore's trust in him was unquestionable - blind, even. It took one fierce battle in between the two for Sans to accept the unpleasant task. Being the clear victor, Sans proved to be an astute and dangerous adversary. These attributes were vital to his role. A role he was ashamed of having, sure, but an important responsibility for him to help bear the king's burden. In plain sight, he was careless. Bored. Bordering on eccentric really for also having a career similar to Alphys, for those that knew anyway. He didn't look like much, Sans knew. But that was okay with him.
Sans was, in reality, akin to a merciless assassin. But Undyne didn't know this. No, she couldn't possibly know. Not that she wasn't observant, mind you. Sans knew better. But when it came to his jobs, it was best to keep her, like everyone else, in the dark. Yes, of course she doesn't know.
And she was never going to be allowed to know either if Sans had anything to say about it.
Undyne finally arrived at New Home. She raced past the golden corridor, then gave out a shrilling war cry as she made her dramatic entrance into the throne room, kicking golden flower petals with every footstep.
"ASGORE! I DID IT! I HAVE DONE IT AT LAST! ASGORE," Undyne caught her breath for a few seconds, before bursting aloud with absolute rapture.
"I HAVE ANNIHILATED THE ENEMY! I CAPTURED MY FIRST HUMAN SOUL! FUHUHUHU! GAZE IN AMAZEMENT AT MY FINE HUMAN-CAPTURING SKILLS!" Undyne boasted as she held the capsule up to Asgore's face. She was beaming with pride, waiting for the king's approval.
Asgore was silent, sitting on his throne still as a mountain. Undyne swore she saw a teardrop from one of his eyes.
"OHHHH, come on, you big softie! This is no time to grieve! This is a time for CELEBRATION! I GOT MY FIRST HUMAN SOUL! FUHUHUHUHU!" Undyne laughed and gloated, giddily jumping up and down as she held onto the capsule tightly. "It's all miiine! Mine, mine, MINE! FUHUHU! And it's YOURS now, Asgore! Go ahead! TAKE IT! THIS IS ANOTHER STEP FORWARD FOR MONSTERKIND!"
As Undyne shoved the glowing capsule closer to his face, Asgore dismissed it, pushed it away with his hands. "I don't want to look at it. I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't... Please...get it away from me..." Asgore begged gloomily, a hint of desperation in his tone.
"sure you can, dreemurr," a voice spoke.
Startled by another presence in the garden, Undyne evoked one of her spears.
"or should i say," the voice grew closer, the source of it becoming apparent as it stepped forward from the dark, opposite end of the garden.
"murderer?"
"...Sans?" Undyne whispered, unnerved by the skeleton's change in his usual demeanor.
"who else," the stout skeleton asked as he shrugged, then winked his right eye, "a ghost? or is it a zombie? welp. either or, this is more of a graveyard than a garden right now, huh asgore? all you were missing was the skeleton."
Asgore looked away from him, trying to hide his despair. Yet, he was resolved to be firm with the disrespectful skeleton, and not give Sans the satisfaction he wanted out of his obscene mannerisms. He knew that impudent thing was just trying to get a rise of him, perhaps in a misguided attempt to make him feel... better? Nevertheless, it was all lost on the sullen king, dropping his voice as to scold him coolly in a threatening whisper. "Sans. Now is not the time for your attempts to humor me, especially not the way you are try-"
"whoever said that i'm trying to be humorous?"
"SANS, STO- wait," Asgore blinked, "you didn't make a pun?"
"didja really think this would be the time for playful banter, oh your most exalted child-killer highness?" Sans had the gall to wink. That monster! He winked at me! Asgore felt his temper rising. "Sans, you had better stop mocking me this instant!"
In the middle of what was to be a heated exchange, time suddenly seemed to stop, the room freezing and Asgore's spine tingled with a horrifying, unsettling sensation.
"whoever said i was mocking you?"
I thought... He forgave me. Is he angry with me? Or is he furious with himself like I am? Perhaps it is the latter, Asgore mused, although that train of thought did not distill his sense of unease.
Undyne shuddered at the sight of Sans's vacant expression as if she was looking at death itself. Asgore snapped out of his fright - he rose from his throne, swiveling to set his focus on the impudent skeleton.
"Nobody," Asgore replied curtly, looming over Sans majestically. "And I don't expect you to do so in the future."
The short skeleton's pupils reappeared, looking amused and grinned genially. "sounds good to me."
Just as I thought, the king realized sadly, giving Sans a gloomy smile. I thank him for sparing me the isolation that the burden of this sin instills upon a SOUL. It really...does feel less cumbersome with him around. Sans winked, but this time Asgore took it to be assuring. Words will never be enough, but in this moment, there was mutual gratefulness.
...What just happened? Were they... Weren't they arguing? If they weren't... Is this the way they casually talk to each other? Undyne speculated, bewildered by the two as she tried to sort a puzzle. God, how she detested puzzles...
Wait a second... This can only mean that they know each other well! Too well! But how!? I've never seen a conversation between them! I only know of the time I was told by Asgore to send Sans to see him! What happened between their meeting and now? Am I missing something? Am I being left out of the loop!? WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN!? Her mind was screaming, thoughts running into one another disorderly as she tried to make sense of what she witnessed. Her mind was practically begging for everything to make sense, to bring back order into what she once knew. They are keeping something secret, she felt – she just knew it! Why could they not confide in her!? Is she not good enough? Did he bribe Asgore for something? Blackmail him? Nothing makes sense!
Then, her SOUL lit with ire – jealousy seethed through her veins.
"NGAAAAAAAAAHHHH! SANS! ASGORE! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!" Undyne took out a spear and aimed it at Sans "YOU!" then at Asgore "and YOU! I'LL START WITH YOU, ASGORE! WHAT IS GOING ON!? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME!? And don't you DARE treat me like I'm some sort of lost CHILD! What the hell does Sans have to do with ANY OF THIS!?"
"i'm his gua-"
Undyne slung her spear with all her might – and newfound burning ire – at Sans, shrieking at him, "SHUT UP!"
Sans dodged to his left and gave her a dumb, then indignant, look. "hey, i was in the middle of responding to at least one of your questions, undyne," he wanted to think fast, but he felt a yawn incoming, as untimely and inconveniencing as it was. "how about w-"
Undyne, in a state of enraged exasperation, summoned a staggering barrage of spears, angling them towards a yawning Sans. "-NGAAAHHH!"
As the erratic blitz of spears came nigh, the half-asleep skeleton unleashed his elusive maneuvers. Not one single spear grazed him despite his seemingly perpetual state of tiredness – how he wished for a good night's rest right then and there. Her attempts to intimidate Sans were proving to be ineffective. "-we have a nice cu-"
Undyne was too blinded by rage to make sense out of Sans' effortless dodging. Oh, if only she knew, Sans grinned grimly. I wonder how much sleep she gets...? Probably more than me, just look at those spears...! Sans thought in silent admiration at his new opponent. Her yelling brought him back from his annoyingly, distracting rumination.
He was so tired.
"SHUT UP AND TAKE IT, YOU LAZY BAG OF BONES!" Before Undyne could evoke more spears, her SOUL turned blue. Sans's left eye reacted to his magic, flashing a radiant yellow and cyan hue. As Undyne gasped in sheer terror, Sans launched her savagely against the dusty throne in the far corner of the room. Undyne let out an anguished scream, the collision fracturing her right arm, her armor already starting to break from the impact.
"anyway, as i was saying," Sans started again calmly, "how about we have a nice cup of tea over this?" he genuinely insisted. However, seeing as she was not going to stop unless she gets a bit more of a shock, he settled on his next course of action.
Sans rushed towards Undyne, undaunted, and drove her SOUL up into the air with a flick of his wrist, violently slamming her into the ceiling.
"or," he leered at Undyne with (almost) fake animosity, tilting her upside down to face him up close, forcing his gaze to burn into her terrified eyes.
"would you rather have a bad time?"
Sans manifested a sadistic grin, his lurid glare supported in part by his developed violent tendencies that reached in some part of his damaged, but still firmly intact, SOUL. Undyne's instability and unwillingness to listen helped to instill fear into her.
Perhaps now she will listen.
"heh. you probably do."
Undyne's wounded body was flung towards Asgore haphazardly, followed by newly-cast bright, burning beams of light surging from – what appeared to Undyne – big, creepy skulls. Asgore's SOUL descended into the pits of despair, his face paling, as he stared at Undyne's battered, bleeding body, traumatized by the all-too-familiar dreadful, magic-induced pressure and his own near-death experience...
Asgore called out in desperation to Sans, the skeleton overcome in a trance by his summoned abominations. Little did Asgore know, Sans was actually in a deep state of anamnesis, experiencing his most cherished, happiest memories – or his worst. Things he remembered – and things he has never yet experienced. Where they came from was Sans's guess, based on his tireless research with Alphys into the time-space continuum. He got lost in himself - trying not to think about it - but he never did he genuinely feel so scared of himself until this moment. It was so unreal, and it felt so good and so wrong at the same time, the overwhelming emotions destabilizing his SOUL. He could feel it all around him, and yet he could not stop...
This was indeed the most disturbing thing that Undyne has ever seen in her life.
"SANS, PLEASE STOP!" Asgore cried out to Sans, willing him to come back to his senses. "Stop being a hypocrite, and have mercy on her! Why try to kill Undyne, when you don't even want to kill anybody in the first place!? Please, Sans, I urge you to remember! Remember the monster you are!" The king stopped, realizing he was not reaching Sans at all.
"This is most unbecoming of you!"
No response. The pressure intensified.
Undyne had enough of this. Despite her injuries, she dashed towards the possessed, distant skeleton, as she conjured a halo of razor-sharp magical projectiles.
"HEY! WAKE UP, YOU LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, SMILEY TRASHBAG!"
With those words, she launched her greatest onslaught yet, awaiting the finishing blow to the spooky skeleton.
Sans's right pitch-black eye socket got its pale pupil back – as well as his peculiar left eye – his senses coming back to him. Looking alertly at the sharp, converging projectiles coming towards him, he looked lively and nimbly veered out of the way of Undyne's lethal spears as they lacerated and tore apart his blue hoodie.
When Sans sidestepped his way out of the last shower of spears, Undyne conjured one lone sharp, fatal spear from the opposite direction, taking him by surprise. At the very last second, he disappeared out of harm's way, and as he reappeared behind her, unleashed the devastating, infernal blasts. The sounds resonated all over New Home, and beyond, letting out all the pent-up black energy that welled up within him just seconds ago.
"NGAAAAHHHHHH! WHY WON'T YOU GET HI-"
Sans leaped out of sight, landing hard on top of Undyne and Asgore, who at the last second covered her from further damage. The sheer raw magnitude of Sans's Blasters made the Underground quake violently, causing the entrance of the throne room to cave in on itself. Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes felt like hours. Then, a welcoming silence fell upon them as the dust settled.
There they lay in the middle of the ruined garden, the room in complete disarray from all the chaos. Realizing that Undyne's spears cut-up and frayed Asgore's beautiful golden flowers, Undyne waved her hand and made all the conjured spears disappear into thin air. The foreboding pressure in the air dissipated. All of a sudden, Sans started laughing. Not chuckling - laughing. Undyne and Asgore looked at each other in confusion as to what Sans would find so funny. It was so unfitting. He tired of laughing after a minute or so, then caught his breath.
"heh heh... heh... hey... heya asgore... remember that light-blue SOUL i gave ya? oh you don't? let me refresh your memory: the little girl with the cute knife and red ribbon? i gotta tell ya. at first, i thought that i didn't have to kill her - that i didn't have to follow through with 'carrying the burden'," Sans chuckled darkly as he continued, "i was so stupid. so hopeful to think that i would be able to solve things without any means for violence. ya know, that's why i love my little brother. papyrus, remember? he keeps me grounded, in a way.
"he was never one for violence," Sans thought aloud fondly. "anyway, i followed her ever since she left the ruins, just like i was supposed to. i thought about what would make a good first impression, and i figured, 'hey, why not some of my jokes? they are hilarious. my brother loves em!' so i get one of my whoopee cushions and catch up to the kid. as i looked a little closer, i noticed she had the most fearful expression. i must have stepped on a few branches as i made my way towards her. i figured that's what scared her. i hold back for a moment, while the kid is trying to make sense of papyrus' barricade on the bridge. she was completely unsure of herself, so i decide to approach her slowly as to not scare her any further...
"she screamed as soon as she saw me. and guess what she did? she grabbed her little toy knife and lunged at me! tried stabbing me with it. as i was laying on the ground, i wanted to think it was self-defense, but then... i saw it. a weird glint in her eyes. she was very, uh, determined to get rid of me. she had the little toy knife at my SOUL for a moment – a moment, i gotta admit, that seemed to last forever. "i wasn't expecting her to go right for it, ya know? i gave it a second thought as i tried telling her to drop her weapon, but then... i saw it. the dust on her knife. on her hair. on her ribbon. on her fingers. she had already killed someone in the Ruins. whoever it was, i felt my SOUL wanting to reach for them, but i knew it was in vain. i felt unfathomable pain... so sudden was the grief! of course i couldn't reach them. i knew deep inside it was too late. "and then i felt it... i felt something brimming inside of me. i'm still not entirely sure what it was. i felt time slow down for a moment, and then..."
Sans hesitated, pushing past the brief, uncomfortable silence.
"i killed her. i gave it everything i got, bones, blasters, the works. she... she didn't even have any resemblance to the human i first saw anymore. after it was all over, all i could do was stare. her blood was on my hands, my clothes... my SOUL felt tainted – the very culmination of my being that she was aiming to undo. she knew what she was doing. and i guess that's when i lost it. staring at her mangled corpse was not going to help me sleep well at night, and leaving it there wasn't going to bode well for anybody's breakfast, lunch, or dinner that decided to take a stroll near there. i felt horrible for killing the kid, yet my SOUL felt a little livelier. i went to bury her near my sentry station. forgot where. i want to forget anyway. i had no coffin for her. there were no kind words i could say to her. i was speechless. girl tried to kill me, so how was i supposed to muster any sensible eulogy for somebody i didn't know?
"before i finished burying her, i looked at her one last time. despite her meaning to do monsters harm, whether out of panic or pure hatred, i felt a deep sadness inside. why did it have to be this way? why couldn't we have talked a bit? why wasn't i given a chance to shake her hand with a whoopee cushion? why was she the way she was? what did i ever do to her to deserve death? "why couldn't i save her? why couldn't i bring her to like us? why... why did i feel like a complete piece of garbage? why did i feel like quitting?" Sans whispered, "it hurt so bad, asgore..."
Away with the silence! Pathetic. Where did that come from? He is not one berate himself. Or hesitate at all, for that matter. Sans again pushed past his inner discomfort. Even the silence in his thoughts unnerved him...
"it was then i came back to my senses. i had to do something about that SOUL. the power of a human SOUL is far too valuable to leave around, as you well know. so, after all i went through to try to avoid violence... i ended up having to do the very thing i didn't want. i took her SOUL from her lifeless body, by my own doing. holding it made me feel disgusted with myself. i put it in my pocket and went back to my lab to put it in one of the capsules you told me to put the SOULs in. why didn't i absorb the SOUL, you ask? because it felt wrong. i didn't want that overwhelming, corrupting power, or anything like it. i just wanted the kid back. i just wanted to re-do the whole thing all over again, in hopes that she would find the compassion to get to know us better, and not kill us on sight. heh.
"what a great, wonderful, hopefully bright world that would be, huh?"
Sans felt a heavy, bereaved mournful sigh want to give way, but let out what he hoped was a shaky breath. That is sentimental enough. Yet not too much. This is for him to face alone – he is not one for pity. He pitied Asgore, but Sans refuses to start pitying himself now. He has gotten this far, and it does not do him good to dwell on what he felt was a lost potential friendship. A friendship he would never know now. But letting this out gave him solace. Letting out this heavy burden has never felt this good, as much as it broke him.
"now i am paying for my sins. just look at what i did to this room alone. i didn't want violence. i didn't want to execute anybody. yet here i am laying on top of my pals in a pile of rubble, and torn flowers caused by a bunch of my stupid blasters. it's all just evidence of the inevitable – slowly but surely, i'm losing control of my life, in more ways than one. this job is hell.
"i deserve to burn in hell for what i've done. i can't even look at my brother the same way anymore. i'm afraid of him one day finding out about what i do. who knows, it may be after the barrier is broken. whenever it is... i'm... i'm afraid he will not want me to hang out with him anymore, or associate himself around me. i'm afraid that... he will reject me as a brother. he probably would... or wouldn't. heh. actually... now that i think about it... knowing him, he probably would accept all the vile things i've done, like the cool dude he is."
Undyne felt the dejection and hopelessness in the air – she felt like she was intruding upon an extremely private moment. She didn't think she could feel anymore unwelcome in her life. She faced away, no longer wanting to hear any more of... whatever this was.
"i don't deserve someone like him."
Was that...disgust? Self-disgust? She stood up abruptly and fell, limping and backing away, slowly at first. Then, as if the field were on fire, rushed back home to take her mind off of this. All of it. This is a sick version of hell that they have all condemned themselves to. And she knew it. Where on Earth are these thoughts coming from, again?
She ran. It hurt to run so bad, but she dared not look back. Her tears were undoubtedly stemming from the pain – the physical pain. Not this heavy burden that was weighing her down and settling on her bruised and wounded body.
Denial never felt so sweet.