Author's note: Please be aware that I haven't written anything in years and English is not my mother tongue. So be kind. Anyway, I keep wondering about that scene, were Sam shows Pete's ring to Jack. So this is my take on his thoughts during that conversation. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

About a ring

„Pete gave me this."

The very second he saw the little box in her hand, he felt like he was about to break. He had known she was getting serious with the cop. Sure. But still. Seeing it right in front of him was something else. For a while he had allowed himself the illusion that she was still his - that their special connection was still there and that at some point in the hopefully not so distant future, they would get their shot. But he could no longer fool himself. She was moving on.

It took every ounce of strength he possessed not to leave her lab right away. If she needed to talk he would be there for her. Always. A promise, he had made to himself years ago and he was certainly going to stand by it. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and prepared himself. This was a matter of survival. There was no way he would walk away from this conversation with his heart still in one piece. His hand reached out and he took the little box and opened it, revealing the one thing he dreaded to see the most. It felt like a punch in the gut.

"People normally wear these on their finger."

She flinched a little. For someone who was about to get engaged, she didn't look too happy. He wondered why. She seemed nervous, as well. Not herself.

"I haven't said yes."

Her revelation threw him off a little. Then it dawned on him. They had never had this conversation. There had been moments in the past. They had walked a fine line for years, keeping a professional distance while their feelings had grown from a simple infatuation into so much more. He had accepted it a while ago that in this lifetime there would not be another woman for him. He had tried, been on dates and maybe even taken one or two of them home. But not one of them measured up to the woman sitting in front of him with an expectant look on her face. She really was one of a kind.

"And yet, you haven't said no."

He was baiting her a little with his words. He knew that. But he just couldn't help himself. After all, she was the one who brought someone else into her life. Yet, as soon as the words had left his mouth, he regretted them. She didn't deserve a hard time from him. If anything, she deserved nothing but the best. If this guy was going to make her happy, he would not be the one standing in her way. Fair enough. Her next words caught his attention.

"What about you, if things had been different?"

That was just it, wasn't it? The one thing that had always been standing between them. He knew with absolute certainty what he felt for her. He knew, he would always love her, protect her and worship the ground she walked on. Take a bullet for her. Not a doubt in his mind. But he could not be there for her, not the way he wanted and she deserved. Right now, she was giving him an opening, to talk her out of it. And there was nothing, he wanted more than to say: Don't marry him, be with me instead. And yet… he couldn't do that. At least this way, one of them was going to be happy. And he could deal with the heartbreak. Maybe go to his cabin and wait it out.

"I wouldn't be here."

And that was it. He saw realization in her eyes and cursed himself for causing her pain but he was also sure, that if he let her do this, he couldn't let her doubt her decision. Which meant: He would have to sell it. After all, what could he offer her?

A man of his age, her superior officer, more scars than healthy skin and a tendency to say the wrong thing in all kinds of situations. All he could offer her was a solid maybe in the future, when he would be even older with even more grey hairs. That of course only applied if they were both still alive at that point. She had a chance at happiness right now, so he had to let her go. It would hurt like hell, but he was confident, he could do it. All he had to do was look at the bigger picture, the one where she was happy.

Because that's what it was all about. Always.