Disclaimer: I do not own The 100, all credit goes to the creators and the writers.
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Summary: Bellamy had fell for her, and she had fell for him but they truly didn't know each other. They didn't know what the other person was concealing beneath the surface. Until...
Chapter One
She broke their kiss, and for a moment savored the annoyed look on his face. The fact that he disliked their contact being broken made her stomach twist, it was clear he enjoyed these secret meetings just as she did.
"I have to go." She admitted reluctantly, truthfully she didn't want to leave him and the bed they shared, this was her getaway from all her responsibilities at home.
"Stay, just a little longer." He moved her arms up, gripping her wrists in his right hand and pinning them to the bed above her head.
"I can't." She never explained why, because her private life was hers and he had his own. What happened here was physical, not emotional. That wasn't to say the man before her hadn't tried to make it more, he had, but she couldn't. He wouldn't look at her twice if he knew the truth. No one ever did.
He let go of her wrists and flipped onto his back. "Clarke..."
"Don't." Part of her had known this was coming, he'd called her a few nights ago wanting to talk. "It can't be more then what it is."
"Why?" He questioned. "Are you ashamed of me?
"What?"
"You barely know me Clarke, I have more to offer then just sex."
Clarke sat up, reaching across she gently touched his cheek. "I can't give you what you want." She grabbed her shirt from the end of the bed, holding it over her breasts modestly.
"Clarke, I'm falling for you."
Clarke smiled softly, it wasn't that she didn't have the same feelings, she did. But she had never revealed to him that she had three children at home, two completely self-destructing teenagers and then there was her life, it was slowly falling apart and she couldn't pull him into that.
This was her sanctuary, a place where she could forget about everything going on in the real world, and if she told him, then it would no longer be a sanctuary.
Not that it matter anymore.
Her other problem was, she was moving and he didn't know yet, perhaps even further away from him.
"I'm sorry, Bellamy." She quickly got up and retreated to the bathroom, inside she lent against the door, taking in a deep breath. Once she left today, she would be leaving him forever.
...
Jackson sat on the couch, huddled underneath a blanket with his eight year old son squished into his side. The tv played in front of them on a low volume but neither seemed particularly interested in the program, they were too concerned with the yelling that was echoing from the kitchen, Tristen was arguing over the phone with someone.
Ethan pressed closer into Jackson's side. "I'm scared." His bottom lip quivered with fear.
"Don't be. I'm here. Everything is okay."
"Is he mad at us?"
"No." Jackson was quick to reassure, tightening his grasp on Ethan. "He is just grumpy from being on tour." He knew the excuse was weak, Tristen had become increasingly grumpy since they had made a commitment to each other. It wasn't the tours, it was his personality.
The moment Ethan had come into his life, Jackson had vowed to do anything he could to protect his son from the evils of the world, he didn't want his child to face what he had as a kid. However from the moment his path crossed with Tristen, any dreams of that had ceased to exist.
"I'll get it." Ethan exclaimed when the doorbell rang, eager to see who it was.
"Thank-you, Eth."
Ethan flung the door open, a nervous smile on his lips when he realized it was his Aunt and cousin. "Hi." He tried very hard not to show the nervousness that flowed through him at their presence. They didn't know what happened in the house when Tristen was home.
"Hey Ethan!" Madi pulled her cousin into a hug. "Is your dad home? Want to come to dinner?"
"He's inside. Hi Auntie."
Clarke smiled at her nephew. "Hi sweetheart. Go get your dad."
"Dad!" Ethan shouted, glancing over his shoulder into the house. The fear welling in him once he realized what he had done.
"Ethan James! What have I told you about yelling?!" Tristen's words were sharp as he rounded the corner to see Clarke standing with a raised eyebrow, it was clear that Clarke disapproved of his tone. "Uh, hi Clarke. Sorry about that, I have a headache and you know kids, have to tell them a million times to keep the noise down,"
"Sorry."
Tristen chuckled, ruffling Ethan's hair. "Don't worry kiddo, just don't yell in the house."
Ethan nodded, trying to remember not to flinch at his touch.
Jackson walked into view just as Tristen dropped his hand. "What's going on?"
"Clarke and Madi are here, babe, I'm going to lie down, my head is still pounding."
Clarke knew something wasn't right between them but she also knew not to voice her opinion. Doing so would only do damage to her relationship with Jackson. It had almost cost her the relationship once before.
"See you round, Clarke."
Clarke didn't acknowledge his parting words, instead focusing on Jackson. "You good?"
"Yes. I didn't know we had plans for tonight."
"Can we go out to dinner?" Ethan pleaded.
"I don't see why not."
"Yes. Come on, Madi." Ethan grabbed the girls hand and pulled her into the house, heading to find shoes.
Clarke raised her eyebrow at Jackson once the girls were gone. "Tristian is back."
"Yes."
"Jack..."
"Don't Clarke, just leave it be."
"Fine. Just...I'm here J, I'll be here when your ready."
Jackson nodded slightly, acknowledging the words. "He's just stressed." He made the pathetic excuse but knew that Clarke wouldn't be convinced. They had been best-friends since second grade, Clarke knew when he was hiding something. "Where are your other two?"
"Probably causing some kind of mischief. I need this move, J, this town, it's corrupting them. Every second spent here is another second they are ruining their lives."
Jackson knew that Clarke would soon be leaving Polis, the city was filled with to many bad influences. When the job in Arkadia had arisen, she had accepted it without a second thought. A better environment for her children was what she had said, and Jackson agreed.
She just didn't know if the move would change who Ontari and Zeke had already become.
...
Next Day
...
"Why are you doing this? I don't understand. You have a bright future ahead of you and you continue to throw it away." Clarke gripped the steering wheel tight, pulling the car out of the parking lot. Barely able to hold onto the disappointment and anger that she was feeling. "I thought...I thought we agreed to put this behind us after last time."
"I never..."
"Is this the kind of example you want to set for Madi?"
"Why should I have to set an example? I never asked to be her sister. I don't even want..."
"Don't you dare! I took you in Ontari, this was supposed to better you life. You didn't ask for it, I know, you would never let me forgot but do you honestly think that the foster system would be any better?"
"I didn't ask to be one of your stray rescues, Clarke. I would have done fine on my own. Maybe you should think about that."
"Fine on your own? You wouldn't have had half the opportunities given to you if you lived in a group home." Clarke tried to steady her breathing. "You weren't just some stray kid, Ontari; you are Roan's kid sister, and I...I couldn't let that happen to you."
"I should have stayed with him."
Clarke understood that Ontari was still angry about her situation, with everything that had gone down but it also had to be something more then that. "You couldn't. He knew that you needed the stability that I could provide."
Ontari scoffed, pulling her headphones out her pockets. "I had that with him."
"No you didn't." Clarke could see that she didn't truly believe that. "You're grounded, and while your grounded you need to think about what you want for your future."
"To be away from you."
Clarke sighed, watching the teenager stuff her ear buds into her ears. The 16 year old was clearly putting and end to the conversation. Clarke had to draw a deep breath to calm herself. The last thing she wanted was to say or do something that she would later regret.
In all her years she had never expected that this would be who she would become. No, as a child she often thought that would travel the world painting until her heart was content. That was however, before the car accident at 17 that killed her father and took away her chance at having biological children.
That event begun her downward spiral where she found herself married at 18 to a 24 year old who was a monster in disguise, and a stepmother to a little boy.
That little boy just happened to be the reason she survived those six years of hell. The reason she found herself wanting to help others in the same situation.
It wasn't long before they pulled into the driveway of their small unit and Ontari was out of the car and in the house before Clarke could unbuckle herself. "What am I going to do?"
"Get out of the car."
Clarke jumped, glancing in the rear view mirror at Madi who she had forgotten was in the car. "You gave me a fright." She shook her head when the girl laughed.
"She means, what are we going to do with the criminal upstairs."
"Not we, I and don't call your sister a criminal." Clarke wound her window up and stepped out the car.
"1, she is not my sister. 2, she just got arrested for the 2nd time in 3 months. She's a criminal."
"She hasn't gone to jail yet." Madi skipped to the front door.
"With any luck they will put her there this time."
"Zeke." Clarke snapped, rubbing for forehead. "Don't speak about your sister like that. Now, both of you inside. Finish packing and clearing out unwanted things." She wasn't even sure they had started. "Anything unpacked gets left behind. Make sure Ontari starts."
"She already started mama."
Clarke glanced down with a raised eyebrow, unsure if Madi was tattling. It was unlike Ontari to do anything Clarke asked of her. "I'm almost afraid to ask...what has she started packing?"
"Oh not packing, clearing out." Madi clarified.
Zeke rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Ontari hasn't started."
"Yes, she has." Madi insisted. "I saw her put your football boots and uniform in the bin. She said you told her to clear it out. See, I told you she had started, cause she was helping you start."
Clarke watched Zeke's facial expression go from shocked to angry. This was going to end bad, she knew it. "Zeke..."
"She did what, I'm going to kill her!" He took of running in the direction of the house. "ONTARI!"
"Why?" Clarke questioned loudly, frustrated by this newest news. Perhaps having these children was her punishment for some long forgotten sin. "Is there anything you need to tell me, Madi?" God, no, say no. Clarke pleaded in her mind.
"Um, Grandma called yesterday and I forgot to tell you."
Clarke shut the front door and leaned against her heavily. "Grandma?!" Just great, her mother was the last person she felt like speaking to.
"And you have to call her back, she said immediately."
"Immediately would have been yesterday, honey." Clarke honestly thought she had to have committed some awful act in a past life to be stuck with a day like today. "I need a vacation." She mumbled, watching Madi run off towards her room. What she wouldn't give to spend a night with Bellamy in bed, where none of these troubles existed. Except she was moving in 7 days, and she would never see him again. They lived in different towns already, and she was moving to Arkadia her old home town, it was medium sized and forty five minutes to the east of Polis...for all she knew he lived south of Polis and they would never make it work.
...
Octavia skipped through the halls of the school to catch up with her sister, immediately looping her arm through the unsuspecting teens. "So, first day of the year. Tell me, how is it?"
Raven rolled her eyes. "We've been here for a total of an hour, check back with me at the end of the day."
Octavia reached over and plucked the schedule off the top of Raven's books that she was carrying in her other arm. "Do we have any classes together? Oh, we had first period together."
Raven raised her eyebrow. "Where the heck were you?"
"Uh, bathroom?"
"You idiot, literally the first class of the year and you skipped it!"
Octavia smiled. "Would you relax, it was just history, Lexa teaches it. Oh, we have most of our classes together. You're still doing cheerleading this year right?"
"Yes." Raven snatched her schedule back. "And swim. Between both I am going to be spending a lot of time here." She whined.
"I'm got tennis on top of cheerleading." Octavia held the door to the class room open. "But keeping busy keeps Bell off our backs."
Raven merely grinned slyly as she walked towards the back of the class to take their seats. "This year is going to be great."
...
"So this is really where you lived?"
Clarke couldn't help but laugh when she looked across to the passenger seat, the eight year old had her head pressed up against the window. "Calm down, Madi, it is just Arkadia." Despite having been living in polis only forty five minutes from Arkadia, she never brought the kids to see it.
"But this is where you lived when you were little?!"
"Yes." Clarke confirmed, glancing into the rear view mirror, she saw the two sullen teenagers staring at their phones with headphones in. she breathed deeply and reminded herself that this was for the best, their fresh start. "Do you think you'll like it here?"
"Yes!"
Clarke smiled, driving past Arkadia Private Institution, her old school, the one where she would be working. It had been a while since she had taken a job at a school, as of the last few years she had simply worked wherever she could. Restaurants, cafes, cleaning at the local hospital. It would be nice to be back to the sound of voices talking at rapid speed, laughter and running feet through the halls. While it was a long way from her once dream of being an artist, she did feel as through she was meant for this. Helping kids who struggled, listening to them and inspiring them. It was somehow easier to do with other peoples children, her own always seemed to be just out of her reach.
"How long?" Zeke grunted from the back.
"Not much further." Clarke mumbled.
"Mommy, is our house going to be like these?"
Clarke heard Ontari huff at the kids' question. "No honey, not like these." She took note of the house Madi was pointing out. A newly built home with rich green grass, and large black gates that surrounded the property. The slick black car and red jeep in the drive told her that those people had money. It would have been nice, but it wasn't her life and she didn't fancy dreaming of something she could not have.
Only a few more minutes went by before Clarke pulled into the driveway of there new town home, it was a set of three all connected. While she longed for a proper home, this was the best she could do, even if it was a tight fit for the four of them. "This is it."
"Huh, trust us to have the most run down looking." Zeke huffed as they climbed out of the car.
Clarke tried her best to not let the words affect her, in fact she tried to ignore them all together. "It'll do for now."
"I think it is perfect, mommy, and all ours."
Clarke felt the car shake as Zeke and Ontari got out and slammed the doors closed. "You are my reason for breathing, honey." She leaned over and gave the little girls hand a squeeze. "Come on, let's go see inside."
...
"O. Rave. You home?"
Octavia turned around to face her bedroom door, relief spreading through her body when she saw it was still locked. Quickly she put the lid on the bottle of alcohol and stashed it under her pillow. Hearing the sound of her brothers boots on the stairs, she popped a mint into her mouth and hurried over to unlock the door, quickly turning around and sprinting back to the bed, she managed to open her history textbook before he opened the door. "Hey Bell." She smiled over at him.
"Hey, didn't you hear me call out? Is Raven home?"
"No and no. She should be soon through, swim practice." Octavia still didn't understand why Raven was at swim practice, it was a Sunday, and she never had practices on the weekends.
Bellamy nodded, even though he had specified that dinner was at six, he understood the girls were committed to extra curricular activities. "I brought dinner." He glanced at her textbook. "Homework on the weekend, that's my girl." He approved. "But come and eat before it goes cold."
Octavia could feel the nervousness in her stomach, the last thing she wanted was to be in the close proximity to Bellamy, just encase he could smell the alcohol on her. "Let me finish up this reading."
A little stunned but pleased, Bellamy nodded. "10 minutes."
"Sure Bell." She waited until he left before she scrambled out of bed and to the bathroom to brush her teeth. If he smelt alcohol on her breath, he'd make it impossible for her to sit for a week.
...
"What did you get..." Octavia snapped her mouth shut when she rounded the corner and realized that he was on the phone, she just took her seat quietly, filling her plate with food. Chinese. She should have known.
"I'm home."
"Bell's on the phone."
"Oh, sorry." Raven mumbled, taking her seat. "Damn, I was hoping for pizza."
Octavia snorted. "Yeah, right." She passed Raven the jug of water. "How was practice? A Sunday?" She gave the girl a knowing look.
Raven smiled innocently. "She is testing my abilities."
"Huh, super weird. Here I was thinking she would have done that during the school week." Octavia flinched when Raven kicked her under the table. "Ow."
"Shut up." Raven hissed, knowing that Bellamy was simply seated on the other side of the table on his phone.
"Where were you?"
"I'll tell you later."
"You better."
Bellamy hung up. "Sorry girls, work call." He explained. "How was practice, Rave?"
Raven swallowed her water. "Good. Sorry I'm late, B."
"Algood. Your coach wanted to test your abilities? How did that go?"
Raven kicked Octavia under the table, of course Bellamy heard what they'd been talking about. "Fine. I'm on track as always." She did know that Octavia wouldn't say anything regarding the fact that she hadn't truly been at practice. After all they never tattled on each other.
"Everything alright at work, Bell?" Octavia changed the subject.
Bellamy nodded. "I told your Uncle Nathan's father I'd take on a community service kid at the DropShip for the next month." He frowned when he realized his beer bottle was empty. "But that means I may need to take a trip down south on the weekend, so you may be left alone this weekend. Anyway, enough about work. I didn't get a chance to sit down with you both yet and ask how your first week of school was." He stood up to get another beer from the fridge, they were eating in the kitchen nook so he could still hear them.
Raven and Octavia shared a smile the second his back was turned, a trip meant he would he gone all weekend. They immediately bumped fists in excitement.
"Party?" They mouth at the exact same time, causing them both to giggle under their breath.
"Girls, school?"
"Oh school was fine."
"We are getting a new teacher."
"Yeah," Raven scooped some food onto her fork. "I think her name is Miss Clarke Griffin."
Bellamy raised his eyebrow. "Interesting. The new kid I just mentioned is Ontari Griffin." He tried not to let the first name effect him, it was the same as hers, the girl he'd fallen for.
"Trust the new teach to have a messed up kid."
"Octavia." Bellamy spoke her name in a slightly disapproving tone. "Don't judge."
"I'm not. I'm just saying."
Bellamy shook his head. "What will you girls do if I go out of town?"
The girls shared a look, mentally jumping for joy that he would be gone for the whole weekend. "Oh nothing, maybe a movie night. Nothing to exciting."
Bellamy picked his phone up from the table when he heard it vibrate, immediately frowning when he saw her name.
It's not going to work anymore. I've moved. I'm sorry. I wish things could be different, that we could have had something more...because I lied...I was...no I am, I am falling for you too.
He gripped the phone in his hand tightly. This was what she had been so preoccupied with. And just as he'd allowed himself to fall for her, she was now gone. This was why he didn't date.
"Everything alright, Bell?"
"Hmm." He glanced back at the girls in front of him, noticing their curious expressions. "Everything's fine. Anything else you want to tell me about?" He tried to listen as they immediately started rambling about their plans for the school year, their classes and teachers but his mind was on her.
Clarke Griffin.
What was he going to do without her and their little secret meetings?
What do you think? Much Love. x
The next chapter is ready to be uploaded soon.