AN

Hi this is my first fanfic. It's about Dick Grayson. I'm a huge YJ fan and a bigger Nightwing fan. This fanfic is about self harm and self hatred so if that's triggering something in you den DON'T Read.

I have described self harm as an good and nice thing, as something beautiful but it aren't. Only the people who self harm can see it as something beautiful. Don't let you be fooled self harm is a bad thing and I don't want anyone to think otherwise because of my story.

I hope you enjoy :)

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Dick lay on the bed, it had been a terrible day.

He couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night. He had laid awake the most of the night thinking about it, it was first into the late night and early morning that he finally fell asleep.

When his alarm rang 07:00 a.m he didn't wanted to go to school, but Bruce had maked him saying that if he didn't go to school today he couldn't take to the training session at the montian. So Dick had went to school, not because he had done very much. The moste of the day he had just sat there on his chair thinking on the previous night. One of the teachers mr Dangray even gave him detention tomorrow, because he hadn't been listening.

It had been a terrible day and Dick just couldn't bear the though of that the day wasn't over yet, he just wanted to go to sleep and end this day, but no.

A knock from the door and Bruce voice ruined that plan.

"Dick hurry op and change and meet me downstairs in 10 minutes"

Dick couldn't answer so he just maked a noise that sounded somewhere between a grunt and a moan. Bruce took it as a conformation and walked away, Dick could hear the sound of his footsteps becoming lower and lower.

When he was sure Bruce was gone he quickly change from his school uniform to his favorite outfit for when he was with the team.

Black sneakers, jeans, a green hoodie, a black jacket and of curse his black sunglasses.

After Dick had changed he grap a little pocket knife he had hide under some clothes in the closet and sat back on the bed.

With a quick glare on the clock, he smacked his left sleeve up and revealed a long line of 4 centimeters cuts on his upper and under arm.

Some of the cuts were allmoste healed while others seemed to be only a day old. Dick looked at them for a movement.

He didn't self harm often only when a mission went so terribly wrong that he could not claim to be in his own body or when the pain seemed to be the only thing that could help him through the day.

Bruce didn't know about it, neither did Wally or any other for that matter. Dick couldn't help but think that if they knew they would hate him.

He feared that if they ever found out they wouldn't have him on the team and they would never let him become a member of the Justice League. He were terrified of that if they knew neither Bruce or Alfred or Wally or Megan or Connor or any of the other team members and leaguers would have anything to do with him.

He cut the knife through his skin. Making a small 4 centimeters cut, it wasn't a deep cut only deep enough to make it bleed. Dick sat there for a couple of seconds stunned by the sight of the blood there come to the surface of the thin line.

When he cut, it first felt cold and stinging and unpleasant, but after a couple of seconds when the blood came it started to burn on a nice hot and pleasant way. Dick couldn't describe it, but one thing could he tell, when he cut it was a pleasant feeling. It was nice to have the pain to focus on, it was fascinating to look at the marks and scars and know it was himself that had maked them, it was satisfying to see himself bleed and moste important of all it maked his mind finde peace. In his eyes, it was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Dick sat the knife to the skin 2 centimeters under the first mark and cut again, enjoying the feeling.

After 6 cuts Dick heard Bruce's footsteps in the corridor, he quickly hide the knife under the bed.

There was a knock on the door and Dick rolled his sleeve back to hide the marks.

Another knock sounded on the door followed by Bruce's voice.

"Dick can I come in" he sounded a bit annoyed. And Dick opened his mouth to answer but a quick glance at his bed revealed small stings of blood on the sheet.

"Dick" Bruce called again "answer me or I'm coming in"

Dick started to panic.

"That's it I'm coming in" Bruce started to open the door and Dick quickly threw himself on the bed with the quilt over his head to hide the blood.

The door opened and Bruce stepped into the room.

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AN

This was the first chapter, I'm counting on making at least 2 more. If you notice any errors then please contact me.

The same applies if you have any ideas for the next chapter.

I hope you had fun reading :)