The phone takes about five long rings before it picks up on the other end.
A sigh comes from receiving end, before finally nasally hissing, "What?"
"Craig, you're gay. I need your opinion on something." Clyde's voice quivered in a panic. He was in a desperate state of confusion. It was about 11 pm while arguing over text about the power of no homo with Token, Clyde began to question his reality.
Craig paused, this was probably going to be fucking awful, "What?"
"Is it gay to use a condom or to raw dog your homie?"
"Dude, that's really fucking gay. Why are you asking me this?"
"'Cause you've got a boyfriend n' shit. I have to know if it's gay to go in with a condom or not."
"Well, if it's a homie, you're gonna want protection. Like, so the dick isn't technically touching you..."
Gears began to turn in Clyde's head.
"But what about the balls slapping against your ass?" He asked.
"Bruh, you wanna know what's gay or not?" Craig spat back.
Clyde swallowed thickly. He did want to know what was gay or not, but Clyde didn't know if he was ready for the truth.
"Look, dude," Clyde begins, "Token and I were texting… and I confessed that sometimes I wonder what it would be like if a dick were in my ass."
"That's pretty gay."
"I said no homo."
"Yeah, but do you want a man's dick or a lady with a strap-on?" Craig asked.
The line went dead. Craig had hung up.
The next day during recess Clyde decided that this was the day he was going to figure out if he was gay or not. He gave Butters twenty dollars and was taken behind the gym. There he waited for his floozy.
Kenny appeared in his normal dingy and dirty parka, "The fuck you want, nigga?" his deep sultry voice questioned.
Clyde pulled down his pants and underwear, "Fuck me in the ass, Kenny."
Kenny did just that, sticking his wee wee in the poo poo hole of Clyde.
He thrusted in and out of Clyde's tender little poopchute.
"No homo!" Clyde cried, "No homo! No homo! NO AIDS!"
"Fuck yeah, nigga," Kenny grunted, "No AIDS in this party pooper."
Clyde could feel the pee pee touching his happy spot. He cried out, high pitched and moaning.
Kenny did ye-old reach around and tickled little Clyde's pee pee.
"Oh my God!" Clyde cried. He came with such force, his little pooter tooter tightening around Kenny's teeny peener.
Kenny never fucked such great ass in his entire life. It was like an angel came down and was sucking his weeny wanger. He kept thrusting and grunting, thrusting and groaning. He spilled his runny goopy mayonnaise into Clyde's sphincter.
But he couldn't stop thrusting, his body went into maximum overdrive, "Oh shit, nigga!" He cried, blood began to come out of his cummy hole.
It was the hottest feeling for Clyde, like reverse explosive diarrhea from Burger King. He felt himself grow fuller and fuller with Kenny's bloody goopity sloopity doopity doo-doo.
Kenny's eyes rolled into the back of his head, his tongue stuck out and he turned to dust. Like he was Thanos Snapped.
Clyde looked behind his shoulder, his bootyhole was empty, filled with blood, cum and dust.
He never knew if he was gay or not. To this day, none of us know.