Merlin woke up in cold sweat, his heart beating wildly against his chest.
He wasn't used to this. His body hadn't had such strong physiological reactions in decades, in centuries. Over time it had settled into a stable state that was built for survival, not excitation. He simply couldn't allow it to burn out the way humans did.
Feelings had faded over time too, setting down deep into his bones, only rising when something truly remarkable happened.
This seemed to be one of those times. More so than ever before.
Merlin felt like he was on fire, his mind spinning in circles. He glanced at the mirror opposite his bed and saw to his horror that he was glowing like a Christmas tree, the magical golden part of his eyes taking over the white- making them look like headlamps of a car. There was blinding light coming out of every pore, his hair looking almost white.
He was shaking uncontrollably, ancient energy coursing through his veins, making him dizzy with the sheer strength of power that it contained.
Merlin could never prepare himself for how extraordinary this felt but this wasn't the first time he was experiencing a phenomenon of this sort.
His mind flashed back to the day he'd lost a part of himself, in more ways than anyone could imagine.
Death. Destiny. Promise. Loss. Truth. Weakness. Heartbreak. Gratitude. Understanding. Grief. Love. Hope.
A thousand years could not make Merlin forget how losing his other half felt, the magic tied to his existence also dying alongside him. Merlin was born to protect him, which meant part of his powers belonged to him. He was strongest when he used magic for him. He could move mountains, empty out oceans, annihilate armies with a flick of his wrist. As long as he was alive, so was Merlin's power…all of it.
Merlin knew the exact moment he died. He'd denied it at the time, helplessly holding on to hope but deep inside, he knew.
All the energy sapped out of him, he could physically feel magic leaving his body. He remembered trembling at the emptiness he felt, the hollowness in ever crevice of his mind that was always filled with thrumming energy, golden and radiant.
Grief shrouded the sensation at the time, but somewhere he knew that he would never be the same again…that his power, his magic was weakened.
But he didn't care. The whole purpose for it was gone anyway. He had no use for magic. He was cursed with the awareness that he was still the strongest sorcerer in the world, but he wished he wasn't. He wished whatever magic was left in him would leave too. It was just a bitter reminder of what he'd lost and he didn't need that. He detested it, resented it.
Merlin didn't touch his magic for a century.
Merlin had eventually reclaimed his roots, doing wonders with it over the years. He created impossible spells, achieved unbelievable feats, revolutionized the craft. But somewhere, he could still sense that empty chasm in him where there should be more of it…more of it that wasn't only supposed to make him feel whole but also more alive.
He had gotten used to the fathomless chasm, even comfortable with it…never expecting it to fill up again.
Until now. Until now when he could feel every molecule in the world, hear every sound and see every colour, ethereal magic humming at his fingertips. It was overwhelming, but he could finally breathe freely. Every atom in his body was buzzing and he felt like he'd woken up from a deep sleep, rejuvenated and revitalised.
His lost magic was back, feeling as natural as the day he was born. Merlin knew what this meant.
The magic was back…and so was its purpose.
Blue eyes flashed in his mind. Golden hair and a gleaming sword. Easy smiles and a brave heart. Purity and goodness.
"Arthur," he whispered.
The lost magic surged, and so did the feelings that had survived for a millennium, lying dormant but waiting. Waiting for the right moment to rise…to rise with him.
A/N: I know that this probably isn't very good but I just had to write it. I had this theory swimming around in my head forever that maybe Merlin's magic was strongest when it was used for Arthur and how it would feel when that power came back suddenly after centuries of being absent. How Merlin wouldn't be used to it anymore and how it would totally overwhelm him.
This was extremely hard to write but after having written it, I can finally be at peace (no matter how bad you think it is lmao).
Well, thank you for reading!
Till next time!