Sore. Your muscles were so sore after the hell Tom put you through that he called a workout session. Your legs were on fire and you could barely walk the short distance home. Tom being Tom teased you the whole time back home by trying to pinch your leg not so subtly or just push you around and test the waters to see how much it took you to get real mad at him.

"Maybe I should take you back to hell with me more often so you don't walk around looking like a tube man", he said nudging your side and by hell referring to the gym.

"Or maybe I could beat your ass so you can shut the fuck up", you grunted getting kinda fed up with his teasing.

Some more bad jokes and metaphors later, and you guys were finally in the warmth of your flat. The snow was settling and the vague and clouded sunshine was disappearing for the day. You being stupid didn't put on a good jacket nor bring any gloves out and your fingers felt like falling off and your thin workout tights weren't helping. When you and Tom were finally home he saw your hands being super red and even a hint of purple showing through, he took them in his. "Holy shit you're so cold, I'll go turn on the heater, go ahead and get some blankets so you don't freeze to death", even though he was talking off his jacket and fumbled around with his clothes having his back to you, you could hear the actual concern through his joking tone.

He was like that, joked around, laughed at everything, being all chill and sometimes coming off as ignorant while in reality he cared too much about people around him. He made sure they knew it but only the closest people to him could see through this little mask of his and understand the way he thought. You've learned to know the difference between when he was actually being playful and when he was using it as a coping mechanism for not showing too much emotions.

"Did you hear what I said? Where do you keep those christmas pyjamas that I bought you last year?" he brought you back to the earth reminding you that you were still standing in the same spot with your shoes still on.

"For God's sake Tom, it's still november, stop it with the christmas-hype!" you rolled your eyes at him. He was one of those that started to listen to christmas music already in september and you had this rule that it should be allowed to wear christmas themed clothes, and start talking about christmas as soon as it was December.

Half an hour later and you guys were in comfy clothes sitting on the floor of your living room with his scripts for his upcoming movie and your practice tests in front of you both. The couch would be too comfy to seat in and you guys would probably fall asleep there so you decided to just lean on it. Him quizzing you on the anatomical vocabs and you pretending to be Emily a heroin addicted girl in love with a guy handling his PTSD with heroin, to help Tom understand the script easier.

While you were all focused on your homework you felt Tom glancing at you every other minute. "Am I that pretty so you can't even focus on your work properly?" you said teasingly when you saw him looking at you, from the corner of your eyes. Your friendship was special, because both of you knew that you were soulmates, but it was just that, friends. It's always been like that and even though you had played around with the idea of you two being together, you guys never talked about being more than friends. "Yes, you actually are" he said quietly, almost a whisper. You turned your head looking at him expecting him to just being goofy like always, but the look in his eyes was different. They were hazy and clear at the same time. Almost a plea in his eyes that you couldn't put your finger on.

"I hope that you do know that you are really pretty y/n" his voice had the same softness in them as his last sentence but a little bit louder this time. His mood had shifted and although you were kind of confused, you liked this side of him, a side that was foreign to you. His hand slowly coming up to your face cupping your cheek, caressing your skin lightly with his thumb almost as if he was afraid he would break through your skin if he wasn't so soft and light.

His brown eyes pierced through you, it wasn't lust.. something else..

"I'd be lying if I said that I haven't thought about kissing you." he whispered, his eyes traveling down to your lips and back to your eyes. That look. That look that you didn't understand, oh how you wished you could read his mind right now.

"Then kiss me." the words flew out of your mouth before your brain could process it.

His face got closer and everything else got blurry and he was the only thing that was important in that moment. When you felt his lips on yours it felt like you've been kissing them forever. They felt like home. They felt safe. Your mind went blank and the only thing you could think of was him. Now it all made sense.

His kiss was soft, but full of emotion and passion. His kiss helped you understand that look that he gave you minutes ago. It was the same look that you gave him everytime he wasn't watching. But it wasn't until now that you fully understood that. It was a longing after that feeling of truly belonging to each other. You were already soulmates but your souls haven't felt each other until now. You both felt so complete. Such a funny thing that a simple kiss can give you so many answers and make you feel all of these feelings.

When you pulled him closer with your hands on his face, he pulled back giggling.

"Your hands are so fucking cold" and you both burst into laughter. He gave you a quick peck on the lips and then stood up "I'm gonna make you some hot chocolate" he said giving you one of his smiles that made you feel all warm inside. While he was in the kitchen, you put your's and his papers aside and walked to the window seeing the ground being fully covered by snow. Street lights made the view looking so amazing and peaceful.

Hearing Tom's footsteps, you turned around and gave him the biggest smile when you saw the hot chocolate in your favourite mug in his hand.

"Thank you so much" you said softly looking into his eyes. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and you both turned around looking outside enjoying the peaceful sight. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you closer to him, your back pressed tightly against his chest.

"Is this warm enough?" he said in his usual cheeky tone while hugging you tight.

Maybe the snow falling was your souls falling for each other. And honestly, you didn't mind falling, if it meant doing it for, and with him.

———

Six weeks since he's been away.
It felt like an eternity already.
"Everything's changed, Tom." His heart broke at your cracked voice, and he imagined the tears welling up in your eyes. It killed him that he wasn't there to comfort you. "It's so much harder than I'd thought it would be."
He sniffed, quiet enough that you wouldn't hear it, or mistake it for his rapid breathing. You didn't need him to be crying too, even though he wanted to. He needed to be strong for you.
"I know it is, darling. I know it is." He inhaled deeply, trying to keep his breathing under control. "But I love you, and no distance between us will ever change that."
A sob on the other end of the line, which made him pause. He didn't want this for you. He wanted to be there for you.
"Y/N, please listen to me. I'll be back as soon as possible, and when I'm back, I'll never let you go again." A tear streamed down his face, he hoped you wouldn't hear it in his voice. "When I get home, I swear I'm gonna marry you, and I'll never leave you again. If you want it or not."
A broken laugh between the sobs. He loved your laugh.
"Promise?"
He nodded, even though you couldn't see him. It helped if he pretended you were here.
"I'll promise, Y/N."

He hated the nights that he wasn't able to call you. It was because of the time difference, he knew that – twelve hours was not nothing, it meant that whenever he went to bed you had just woken up. But he couldn't help feeling guilty.
He felt like he left you alone, although he knew you wouldn't blame him for any of it.
But just the thought of you lying alone at night, in a cold bed without him to keep you warm … He hated it. It made him question why he'd ever taken the job.
"No, Tom, you should take it! It's a big deal, and it's only a couple months. You know we can do this!" Your expression matched your voice; forced cheerfulness. No, he knew you were happy for him getting the job. It was only the distance that made you hesitate. He didn't blame you, because he was probably even more reluctant than you were. He knew he would love the job, but never as much as he loved you.
"You really think we can do this?"
A genuine smile adorned your lips now, the smile you had when he was deep in thoughts and his face was all scrunched up. You said it was cute.
"Yes! Of course we can do this!" She took his hand. Tom loved the feeling of her small warm hand in his. "Just … See it as a test, okay? It's a big relationship test and if we get through this, maybe I'll think about marrying you."
You threw him a wink, and the love he felt for you almost made him overlook the sadness in your eyes. Almost.
He had taken the offer. Now he wished he didn't.

You were slipping through his fingers, it was almost painful to feel at this distance.
It was as if you were getting further away with every day you didn't see each other.
He hated it.

"Maybe we were wrong. We weren't ready."
"No, Y/N, don't say that. I love you."
You had the good calls, the cheerful ones in which you both talked about your lives. About how nice the coffee shop around the corner had changed their interior, or how the actors he worked with were surprisingly friendly and not as stuck-up as he had expected them to be.
But then there were the calls where you would both be out of breath, ready to give up because you just couldn't take it no more. It hurt. He wished he could just ignore it, but he couldn't.
He was in physical pain just from your absence.
"Maybe we're wasting time, Tom." Your voice was unexpectedly steady, but he heard the fragility underneath.
For a moment, a short, almost insignificant moment, he was ready to agree. To give up. You were trying as hard as you could, but what if it wasn't enough? What if this broken line wasn't enough to keep you together?
He didn't want to admit it, but even your beautiful face, something he'd never had any trouble imagining before, was slipping from his mind. The traces of your jaw were blurry, your hair may or may not have been the right length – who knew, maybe you even cut it. For a second, a truly terrifying second, he even forgot which colour your eyes were.
Maybe you were right. Maybe you both had changed so much in this time he'd been away, you were almost strangers to each other.
Maybe it wasn't worth fighting for.
No.
"I'm not giving up on you, Y/N."
Because if you weren't worth fighting for, then what was?

A text message woke him up.
Love: Babe, you won't believe who I just saw!
You'd attached a picture, and a big smile appeared on his face when he saw what you meant. The screen lit up with another text from you.
Love: It's your frog!
The little frog was almost hidden entirely behind your hair, and your eyes were sparkling at the camera while you pointed to the little creature. You were terrible at taking selfies with the new phone you bought, and he loved you for it. Your face was way too close and the frog way too small in the image. Tom imagined you telling him that it was just your artistic freedom, a new way of photography.
Me: Tell him I said hi!
Maybe this was as good as you were ever gonna get.
It wasn't much, but it was with you.

The lights seemed to laugh at him.
Japan. From New Zealand to Japan. His return was delayed for another few weeks filming in Japan, while you were still waiting for him in London.
He'd called you. You got mad at him. He couldn't blame you.
He made a promise, now he couldn't keep it.
Your fight had ended hours ago, with a sleepy goodbye from you, your voice still hurt. A click when you ended the call, and only then did he let his tears flow freely.
You knew he would always wait for you.
Now he wondered if you would wait for him, too.
You were running out of time, and it scared him to lose you more than anything.

The tears were the hardest. He could hear it, even over the phone.
You just wanted this to be over.
And if it meant you had to move on, so be it.
You never said it out loud though, but he could hear it.
You shouldn't have gone. He told it himself every night. Every day. Why did he ever leave you? He wanted to go home more than anything, to take you in his arms, kiss you with every single drop of passion he had to offer. He wanted to marry you, as he had promised.
It was too hard to stay away. He didn't think he could do it any longer.
His agent got mad when he asked for a few free days. Didn't he get enough free days? He did, no arguing with that. But every few days one day off … the moment he finally got on a plane he already had to be back on set.
It was too hard to stay away. Maybe it would be better if he just let you go.

Six months since he went away.
Six months was a long time without seeing each other, without touching each other, feeling each other's warmth. Everything had changed, there was no denying in that. The only thing he knew that hadn't changed in the slightest, was his always burning, overwhelming love for you.
He hoped you still returned that love.
That was what he thought when he stood at your front door. Your shared front door. A small smile played on his lips when his eyes fell on the little name tag with both your names on it. Another thing that hadn't changed.
He hadn't told you when he would be back. First because he wanted to surprise you, but now he was getting afraid. What if it wasn't as it had been before?
But he knew his love for you hadn't changed a thing. Now he hoped your love for him was still there.
Only one way to find out.
Tom took a deep breath as he slipped his hand in his pocket. His fingers curled around the small metal band, and he envisioned the small stone gleaming almost as bright as your eyes did. Another breath, and he pushed the doorbell.
He had a promise to fulfil.