AN: This little oneshot just came to me a few nights ago. It felt like it was something I had to get out of my system and about an hour later this was the result. Thank you Pegtastic for being an amazing beta! I hope you like this little drabble. Please let me know your thoughts.

Donna sits on her couch, a glass of red wine in her hand. She really needs this drink and maybe the alcohol could help her forget what happened, or at least mute her thoughts for some time. She really doesn't want to think about what happened when Harvey came into her office that night.

Harvey walks into her office cautiously. He knows he should have told her much earlier. They don't keep things like this from each other, and waiting to tell her, only made him more anxious about her reaction.

"Harvey, what are you doing here?" Donna asks him looking up from the files she was just working on.

"Can't a managing partner have a drink with his favorite COO every once in a while?" he answers while walking further into her office, forcing a smile on his face.

"He can, but I have a ton of work to do and I'd like to get home before midnight," she states wondering what he is up to.

"There is something I need to tell you…". He sits down on the other end of the couch in her office.

Donna is not sure what is so urgent that Harvey has to tell her right now, but he seems like he just has to let it out before he implodes. "What is it, Harvey?" She is worried that something might have happened. With Harvey, you never know.

"I've been seeing Paula Agard. And not as my therapist anymore. We've been seeing each other."

It's out in the world now. Donna knows. Harvey feels like a heavyweight has been lifted from his shoulders. He is glad that he doesn't have to keep this from her anymore.

Donna, however, feels like someone just punched her in the gut, but she can't show Harvey that. So she just forces a smile on her face, while her eyes are burning with tears threatening to fall any minute.

"What?"

"What do you mean what? I'm just amused that you think I didn't know," she chuckles at his question.

"Donna-"

"The day you made managing partner you drove yourself to work, not in the red car but in the black Ferrari Daytona. And on top of that, you told me and Louis that you had things to take care of that night but I know your schedule," Donna knows that she would break down if she would let it sink in and so she just keeps talking trying to hold herself together. "And I know what happened was you drove yourself straight home from the office, you changed into whatever outfit you thought would impress her the most and then you went right over to her house and you swept her off her feet."

Harvey had his eyes on her the whole time she was talking. It was her thing to know what was going on in his life yet she seemed to be acting a bit over top for his liking. "But you just asked me the other night if something was going on because I've been acting different."

"Because I was trying to get you to open up but you missed the signal. So I figured I'd just keep on waiting and here you are more or less right on time." She can't look at him. She just can't. No matter what she would see in his eyes it would only break her more.

"More or less?"

"Well I was giving you until tomorrow so you're actually ahead of schedule," she tries to keep the mood light.

"Well, that was Paula's doing," he answers, almost lost in his thoughts.

"I am happy for you, Harvey. And I want to hear all about it but like I said I have a ton of work to do and I wanna get home before midnight, so…". It's probably the biggest lie she ever told but she does this for Harvey she tells herself. He deserves to be happy and she is not gonna be the one to prevent him from that.

He lifts his hand to stop her from going on. "Go on, finish. We'll talk later." He says walking out of her office.

"I'm glad you finally told me."

He turns back to her and offers her a smile. "Thanks, Donna. Me too."

When he is out of sight she feels like everything she just found out about is burying her underneath a pile of stones. Even Rachel coming to her and asking her what was going on and telling her, doesn't help to get her thoughts from Harvey for one second.

How could she not have seen this coming? How could she be so blind? Of course, Harvey would fall into bed with the next best woman when they were on the right path again. A path that could've led to something more than just her being his COO. But Harvey was Harvey and Donna should know that. He had changed over the years for the better, but old habits die hard. And this is just so Harvey.

But what probably bothers her more than the fact that he had fallen into bed again with another woman, was that he hadn't told her. Why would he not tell her? Or why didn't she know anyways? She was Donna after all. She's always known about the women he was involved with. Usually, she knew even more about them than Harvey did. Because when it was about women, Harvey usually thinks with different parts than his brain.

The only possible reason that comes to her mind, besides the possibility of just not wanting to see what was right in front of her, was that this woman is something different than the ones before. It feels like a stab to her heart when she realizes just that.

What if Harvey found someone for more than just an affair? What if he could imagine more with her? What if he would one day wake up and want to get married to that woman? The woman that isn't her.

Even though she herself, is the one who once had said that they should put it out of their heads that they had slept with each other, and that they should forget how it had felt to be so close to each other, she had to admit to herself that she never had.

Not a week went by that she didn't at least once think about the night they had spent together years ago. How he was all over her, licking the whipped cream from every part of her body, and went on even when no cream was left anymore. How he had placed kisses on her neck and had sucked on her soft skin to mark her as his. How he had felt inside of her. She'd never felt that amount of pleasure, sleeping with a man for the first time before.

She remembered his slightly upset look when she had told them that they should forget about it and should never talk about it again. It had broken her heart a bit but she knew it was the only way they could work together. And that just meant more to her at that point in time. She didn't want to lose him and he wasn't ready and she wasn't either. It was the only way she could keep him in her life because if it went wrong it would really go wrong, and she would've lost her best friend.

But knowing now, that there was a chance that he could've found a woman that was ready to risk it with him, that wasn't her, that felt worse than losing him back then would've done. It means that she wasn't his number one priority anymore, while he was still hers and would always be. She loved him. Had loved him for twelve years. And by now she was sure that would never change.

Donna sinks back into her couch. This was for sure not how she had imagined this day to end. She hasn't really lost Harvey but it sure feels like she did.