Mjuzi means wise. Well, I'm not sure I deserve this appellation.
I look at myself, reflected in the puddle of water. My stick is adorned with fresh red hibiscus flowers, my hair is strangely tidy and my eyes shine. Or rather, they betray sadness and a sense of shame.
Still, I shouldn't be feeling that way. I have everything I could wish for... No, that's not true.
I am the Royal Mjuzi of Queen Rani and King Kion, and this is precisely the problem.
I don't want to be misunderstood, I am happy and honored to serve a couple of promising royal lions, it is just that... sometimes the heart makes choices that the mind cannot accept, choices that must be buried underground like a brightly colored fruit, but with a lethal taste.
Here I am. We are preparing to meet Queen Kiara and King Kovu of the Pride Rock.
I go before my sovereigns in a slow and solemn procession, where at every step my wood becomes heavy and its cracks are as if they threatened to chip my palms. It is an unknown sensation, it is as if a cold wind had penetrated my lungs and made every breath, every movement laborious.
A lump rises in my throat; it will be hard to survive the three days of stay in the lands where Kion and I were born and raised.
The first moments, when I meet Kiara and I can pleasantly talk with her as when we were younger, are as light as the flowers of a Baobab. Finally my heart stops beating in anxiety and my lungs resume a normal breathing.
Listening to Kiara is a cure-all for me.
Two beautiful twins have just been born to her, the princes of the Kingdom.
One is golden like his mother and has the emerald green eyes of his father, and has been called Jua.
His twin brother is dark as Kovu and has his mom's red-brown eyes; Kumbu has been imposed on him as his name.
The young ones were baptized by the Royal Mjuzi of Kovu and Kiara, a snooty baboon who sports a Sun-blond tuft and who apparently doesn't disdain female admiration, which comes from his species or from different species.
I puff, aware of having someone as a colleague whom I would gladly do without. As if I didn't already have my thoughts.
Noon comes and the air becomes torrid.
The dry season doesn't spare anyone, and with the more temperate climate of the Tree of Life, I was almost forgetting the cruelty of home weather.
I let the warm wind lash my face, and that brutal heat distracts me for a moment from my torments.
Kiara is lucky, she was able to stay with the lion of her heart, which was not granted to me and will never be granted. I wouldn't even want it, it would be a terrible rudeness towards those around who trust me.
But... If I close my eyes I can try to imagine a happy ending for me too, one in which Rani doesn't fall in love with Kion and Kion falls in love with me...
How can I think that of Rani?
I wake up from my dream quickly, ashamed; if Rafiki knew about these fantasies of mine, he would hit me on the head without hesitation!
I am so immersed in my reflections that I don't notice that everyone is looking at me...
I remain standing to stare at them with wide eyes, then I turn to my left and I understand why...
Falme, that's the baboon's name, is looking at me with a toothy smile, which I discover to be as splendid as the most blinding of the Moons.
Nice smile, of course, but it doesn't hold on to me.
He holds out his hand, for some reason unknown to me.
What is going on? I thought ours was a visit between royal families, what are these cooings?
Undecided about what to do, I squeeze and leave it immediately after. I notice a streak of disappointment appearing in his teal eyes, but frankly I don't know what to do about it. If he thought I was going to fall at his feet, he is very wrong.
Inside the cliff we can have lunch together, each according to our diet.
As I open my Baobab fruit to enjoy the pulp, Kiara approaches me and whispers chilling words:
"You know, Falme was dazzled by you..."
"That one is dazzled by every female..." I mutter in response, chewing the fruit.
Kiara is sincerely surprised by the brusqueness of my answer.
I am sorry for my reply, but it's good that the secret that is stirring in my heart doesn't come out in any way, or it would be the end. I certainly can't tell Kiara that I like her brother, or that I wanted to become her sister-in-law...
No, better concentrate and hope that those three days will pass quickly and that Falme will be good.
The baboon himself wouldn't even be a problem anymore, but after the meal, taking advantage of her husband and children's siesta, Kiara reaches me on the top of the cliff, where one can enjoy the most beautiful panorama of all.
"Makini, what's going on? You are strange today..."
If only she knew ...
"No, it's just the heat and the length of the journey..."
These are the most trivial excuses in the world and in fact Kiara doesn't buy it, but she doesn't tell me anything about it and I thank her mentally.
"You know you can count on me..."
"No, please Kiara, don't do this..."
Here, my mind falters dangerously, and my cheeks are furrowed with tears, while I look away, towards the small saplings that serve as a supply for some giraffes.
"Kiara..."
"Yup?"
"How long do you think it takes to forget a love?"
The queen's gaze becomes elusive, it is close and very distant at the same time, as she plumbs me and tries to understand who is the animal that made me surrender.
"I don't know... Is this the problem that plagues you?"
In response, I sniff and rub my palm over my cheek.
The lioness approaches me and begins to purr, rubbing her body against mine, as if to give me comfort.
"It will be fine, you will see... It will be better."
I almost doubt that she understood, but I don't dare to test the waters further and I embrace her.
When I open my eyes again, my sight is captured by Rafiki's severe figure, who is watching me not far away.
He nods to make me follow him and I take my leave of Kiara.
Rafiki is waiting for me down the cliff, on the tender grass of the savannah, which suffers and turns yellow under the blows of the heat.
"Makini, that's not the way."
I turn pale.
"Er... what's wrong?"
His yellow eyes pierce me.
"I noticed..."
I gasp; it is difficult to hide anything from that shaman.
His face relaxes, incredibly, and gives me a paternal smile.
"I want to tell you a story..."
He takes me by the hand and together we begin to walk until we sit in the shade of a Syzygium.
We sit cross-legged and I look forward to my fate.
Rafiki inhales deeply and begins to tell me a strange story:
"Once upon a time there was a zebra. She was the most beautiful and most admired, she had enchanting blue eyes. Her destiny would have been to marry the herd leader, but she didn't like him. She liked a jackal, and she was reciprocated."
I sweat cold for this story full of references to me, but at the same time I am curious and out of breath.
"The zebra left the herd leader and went to her beloved canid. They lived happily and raised some orphaned cubs together, until the latter gave the last farewell to the old parents when it was time for their departure. Since they had never seen their mother's land, they decided to visit it and here they made a bitter discovery: the herd of zebras no longer existed, it had died, cut down by the lack of water and the inability to defend itself from predator attacks. And all this, because the head had let himself go into depression after the leaving of his beloved."
I rebel against those words violently.
"What are you suggesting to me, Rafiki? That we should stand by someone even without loving him, just out of pity?"
"I didn't suggest anything to you, it's you who drew this conclusion."
"It's absurd! Kion doesn't love me, he would never leave Rani for me and-"
I cover my mouth, but the damage is done now. I drop my head, defeated. I really have no secrets for him.
"... And you are like the leader of the zebras. Sad, alone. You torment yourself thinking about Kion and this is not healthy."
"Sometimes I wonder if something could have been born between-"
He interrupts me by raising a hand.
"Makini, there is a too fantastic vision of love. If you and Kion had been destined to be together, not even Rani could have done anything about it. This wasn't the case, and this only means one thing: you are not Kion's soulmate and he is not yours. Okay so, it's not the fault of either of them. But you have to be careful, my dear... Many load their shoulders with illusions and fantasies and wear themselves out like dry leaves in the hope of seeing them realized, even though they are present only in their heads. The herd leader stopped feeding and looking after his group to keep up with his ghosts and in doing so he forgot what is real, let himself go and died of broken heart, condemning his family and friends to the law of the savannah."
I am sincerely dismayed by this story and my voice breaks.
"Is all this true or did you invent it?"
"Who cares? What matters is the teaching you can find there."
"You say I should get away from them, go away?"
"Paradoxically, it would leave you with an even greater yearning, nostalgia would prevent you from concentrating on your new life. No, you have to be strong, Makini. Live with them like a Royal Mjuzi, face your crush on Kion every day, cry and vent whenever you can, but never forget to take care of yourself and live the REAL life, not the fantasy."
I have tears in my eyes again and my nose is stuffy.
"One day, you will look at Kion with the eyes of friendship and will no longer experience any regrets. Time is nice, but you have to be patient and wait for it."
I return to the Rock with a new awareness. It's not what I wanted to hear, but Rafiki is right... You can't live on fantasies only.
Destiny puts me the object of my desires at the exit of the small cave.
"Oh, Kion..."
"Hey, Makini. Don't you want to rest a little?"
I glance inside the cave, where Rani is still sleeping.
"Yes... I need it."
"Go lie down next to Rani, I'm going for a walk."
I watch him jump down the rocks, graceful and agile, a handful of gold with splashes of rubies.
As he walks away, I symbolically raise my arm and greet him, while my tears are carried away by the wind:
"Goodbye, my love…"
I say it whispering, nobody can listen to me: not the sleeping lions, not Kion, nobody besides the silent Rock and the benevolent wind.
I turn and take my place next to Rani.
Contrary to my predictions, sleep catches me almost immediately.
The three days pass quickly and I hardly ever have time to stop and think about my lost love.
When it's time to return, I am surprised to watch Rani and Kion cheek to cheek and not feel the slightest jolt of jealousy, a sign that my mind is beginning to heal.
Somewhere there is someone waiting for me and I will find him.
For the moment, I will try to be of help to my friends.
The Tree of Life welcomes us as green as ever, scented with sap and Sun.
I missed it and hearing its leaves stirring makes me feel at home, protected.
Without hesitating, I climb to the top, where I can enjoy a view that rivals that of the Pride Rock.
The valley calls me, it's like a blank page just waiting to be written. And I'm ready.
"Makini, come here!"
It's Rani's voice. I really have to get off.