Hi ! Welcome to « What I do not say, I still feel - Part 4 » !
TRIGGER WARNINGS : The first part was already rated M because of violence, murder and sexual and adult themes. This part 3 is still rated M for these reasons.
Lemons will be indicated here when there's some. First one in chapter 5 Castella.
I'm starting to wonder if this fic will actually have an end one day... Already part 4 which wasn't planned at all but hey, part 2 and 3 weren't planned either. This POV really got out of hand ! I mean, seriously ! Part 3 was less than 3 months... Hajime really has a lot to say !
Just like for Part 2 and 3 if you don't want to read Part 1, 2 and 3 and want to start the story now, here's a summary ! Politics and context first then the SaiChi relation (part1 part2 and now part 3). Don't read if you haven't read these parts before and don't want to spoil yourself.
Politics and context :
The battle of Toba-Fushimi was a total fiasco for the shogunate troops. Although the SatCho had only a third of their effectives, they were better organized and equipped with modern guns and weapons.
The Shinsengumi fled to Edo, following the shogun and they renamed Kouyou Regulation Company. Kondou Isami became a daimyo under the name Okubo Tsuyoshi and they departed to Kofu to defend a castle. The imperials got there before them and there was no other choice than to retreat (100 against 3000).
During their time in Kofu, Edojo (the castle) had been surrendered by the loyalists ans the Shogun is held prisoner in Ueno at the Kan'ei temple. Kondou led the big of the army to Nagareyama in the Aizu province and Saito is supposed to organize the transfer of the back up troops, Rasetsu and artillery from Edo to Nagareyama.
The action starts in early April 1868. Nagakura Shinpachi and Harada Sanosuke had quitted the Shinsengumi.
Saichi part 1 :
At first, Saito felt like Chizuru was nothing more but a bother but he eventually fell in love with her. Souji was teasing him all the time about it but Saito didn't want a relationship. He had the feeling that it would be dishonorable to be with her without marrying her and so he restrained himself. He met Yuki, an oiran who looked vaguely like Chizuru, and started to see her a lot as a decoy. She dared him to confess to the woman he love and he eventually did it when he took her to Gion's festival. She answered his feelings and they kept their relationship secret.
Hijikata decided to use Chizuru as a spy and disguised her and Heisuke as maikos to gather informations in a tea house. Saito could only see her from afar for months and had joined Sannan for night rounds to give a report on the Rasetsu corp. One night, Chizuru was nearly raped and Saito saved her. From then, he decided that Heisuke wasn't enough and that he would personally find a way to assure her protection. The okiya wanted to sell Chizuru's virginity and Saito, with the help of Yuki, who became his friend, disguised as a geiko to get into the tea house and got violent with the man willing to buy Chizuru's virginity. Chizuru went back to the compound and no one knew that Saito was involved except from Heisuke who held his tongue.
For their birthday in February, Saito brought Chizuru to eat castellas and he got guilty because it's time for her to find a husband and he couldn't marry her. He asked her to promise she wouldn't waste her life on his account but she refused, telling him she'd walk by his side even if he could never marry her.
After the fail of the rescue of Sakamoto, Chizuru got missing for hours and Saito restlessly searched Kyoto for her before Shimada told him she was back at the compound. Due to his fear of loosing her (and Souji stealing his futon) he got in her room and they spent a night together platonically. Saito didn't want to be the one dishonoring her.
After the loss of Tairô, a member of his unit, they both felt a lot of grief and were splattered in blood. They went to the bathroom but their need for confort made them fall into each other's arms and Chizuru got her first time. After it, they took a bath together and Saito asked if she ressent him for taking away her innocence. She said she'll have to find a husband who doesn't care his wife is spoiled and Saito told her she's not marrying anyone but him.
They started spending most of their nights together platonically until Chizuru's birthday, when Saito made homemade castellas to celebrate, taking the excuse of his birthday for the other captains. After the dinner he joined Chizuru in her room and made love to her but when Chizuru orgasmed, her eyes lit with a golden color. Saito was totally confused by the sight of it.
SaiChi part 2 :
Saito quitted with Ito and left his wakizashi with Chizuru as guardian of his honor. During his stay, Chizuru lost a child and Saito had a lot of difficulty to overcome this loss. Yuki, the oiran, helped him a lot and talked to him about her own daughter, Haruhi, taken away from her when she was a baby. Chizuru was sent to Osaka to learn medecine with Matsumoto-sensei.
Saito stayed 6 months with the guardians. He saved Chizuru who was abducted by Amagiri and learned that she was a demon but his feelings for her weren't impacted.
Saito got a lot of money for the murder of Takeda Kanryuusai and used it to free Yuki the oiran from her pleasure house but he discovered that she betrayed him and wanted to poison him. He abandoned her just after.
He came back eventually and defended the compound against Kazama while the others were taking care of Ito. He took back Chizuru to her room and they shared a moment together. In the morning she gave him back his honor and he went to ask Kondou-san for permission to marry her. He agreed but first they were sent on mission together at Tenma-ya to protect Miura Kyutaro.
They prepared their wedding while at the inn and Chizuru started working with Sannan on the Ochimizu. Yuki came to visit Saito who was very cold with her. She took her own life after their discussion.
The night the Tosa attacked the Inn, Chizuru got abducted by Kaoru but she managed to free herself, turning into her demon self. She had trouble turning back into her normal self and Saito helped her hide to get back to the inn. She was worried that Saito wouldn't marry her now that she was a monster with horns but he reassured her. They married the next day with all the Shinsengumi there.
A month later, Chizuru's experiments took a turn that Saito didn't like, using her demon blood. She didn't listen though and kept doing her researchs.
Saito found Haruhi, Yuki's daughter, in a pleasure house. She was a child prostitute and Saito adopted her.
Kaoru came to the headquarters. She wanted to take Chizuru to safety with her and Kazama since Kyoto was soon to be a battlefield. Saito informed her that she was her wife now and wasn't going anywhere. Kaoru reminded him that a marriage isn't official before the conception of the first child and Saito began to fear that Kazama could still come for her.
Sannan gave to everyone a vial of Ochimizu and medecine made with Chizuru's blood in case of emergency and Saito sent Haruhi to Osaka with Okita and Kondou-san to put her to safety. Chizuru stayed as doctor.
While Saito was trying to get to Ryu'un temple, Chizuru came to deliver a message and got shot in the stomach. Amagiri Kyuju who was on the other side, performed first aid and fought Saito who didn't wanted to let Kazama have her. Amagiri let them go and Saito carried Chizuru to Yodo castle but they shot him. He carried Chizuru out of town, direction Osaka. The hours passed and Chizuru was getting better, healing, while Saito's condition was getting worse, with infection and fever. They were only two hours away from Osaka when Kazama found them and he totally overpowered Saito. Chizuru sacrificed herself to save Saito's life and she followed Kazama while Saito was dying from all his wounds on the forest floor.
Saichi part 3 :
Saito woke up in the forest and realise he had drank the Ochimizu but Chizuru was gone with Kazama. He was found by Yasha Koan and his daughter Mika, two members of the Yase Clan who informed him that Chizuru had been rescued and was safe in Osakajo with Sen. They went to Osaka to find that the Shinsengumi already left except Kondou, Okita and Haruhi. Chizuru seemed severely traumatized. She wasn't speaking a single word and Saito tried his best to sooth her without success until he realized that they had all been fooled and that it was Kaoru in disguise. After torturing him, Saito travelled with Koan and Mika to go get Chizuru back. He took his daughter Haruhi with him. Eventually, he found out that his companions were Kitsune (fox spirits). The travel was pretty hard especially for the kid but the old fox Koan helped her a lot and for Hajime who had a lot of trouble dealing with his bloodlust. They rescued Chizuru in Hakone, Mika taking her appearance to trick Kazama. The trick didn't work though and Kazama found them, bringing Mika's tail with him. He killed Koan and tried to hurt Haruhi too but Hajime defended her with his Rasetsu abilities. He got injured by Kazama's magic blade from which oni can't heal but he killed Kazama. The blade is now in Chizuru's hands.
They joined back the Shinsengumi in Edo and Hajime hid his Rasetsu nature to everyone to work but the bloodlust was getting hard to cope with and he lost control while loving Chizuru, piercing her skin with a hairpin to drink from her. Without even realizing it, he almost bled dried her and felt a lot of guilt and disgust but Chizuru was very comprehensive due to all her researchs on the Rasetsu. She was still very involved in it and giving a lot of her blood to Sannan for the medecine craft. Since Hajime drank it, he was feeling amazing and even questioned if he could be cured but he wasn't.
They departed to Kofu, leaving Haruhi with Souji at Matsumoto-sensei's clinic. The day before the battle, Chizuru forced Hajime to drink her blood and it permitted them to be intimate safely. She tried to convince him to drink small amount of blood everyday to keep the bloodlust away. After they fled the battle, they came back to Edo and Chizuru announced her pregnancy. She's hiding it to the rest of the Shinsengumi.
Characters status :
Saito Hajime : in Edo. Rasetsu
Hijikata Toshizo : in Edo.
Kondou Isami : in Nagareyama (Aizu)
Okita Souji : with tuberculosis in Matsumoto clinic.
Saito Haruhi : in Matsumoto clinic. Has a crush on Souji.
Saito Chizuru : pregnant in Edo
Nagakura Shinpachi : Quitted the Shinsengumi. In edo at Ibuki's house.
Harada Sanosuke : quitted the Shinsengumi. In Edo at Ibuki's house.
Toudou Heisuke : in Edo, Rasetsu. Experimenting a new daily treatment.
Yamanami Sannan : in Edo, Rasetsu. Starting to suffer from the madness.
Shimada Kai : In Nagareyama
Yamazaki Susumu : killed in action, Kyoto
Inoue Genzaburo : killed in action, Kyoto.
Nagumo Kaoru : prisoner in the Yase clan.
Kazama Chikage : killed by Hajime.
Amagiri Kyuuju : no news.
Shiranui Kyo : no news.