Sanity is a scarce commodity in this world. Or so Suimei Kanata reminded himself almost daily. In fact, you'd always hear the mage tell himself that whenever he was on the field.
There was a running joke in his squad that it was his chosen incantation to get into the proper mindset for spellcasting. He never confirmed or denied that, much to his teammates' renewed interest.
Meihara, a fellow squadmate of his in the 1st Autonomous Combat Section, always liked to remind him that sanity is relative whenever he says that. And frankly, he agreed with his onmyōji friend.
Considering that Suimei was a squad leader under the 85th Normalcy Maintenance Company, it was par for the course to go through many mind boggling events and he certainly met his fair share of beings that didn't conform to the norm in any way, with the Spirits summoned under the Kyoto Summoning Protocol being the most notable of them all.
Not to mention that facing the Horrors that slept between the stars, interdimensional threats and even insurrections led by those that had enough with the iron-clad rules that governed the world, you could say that even if he was young, he had experience in spades.
In fact, you could say the same thing about everyone in the 85th company, they all started young after all, some younger than others.
Some might think it to be cruel, but Suimei never thought of it as such, no one in the company did either. Necessity overrules any notions of something being cruel or wrong in a moral sense. For the continued stability of the Foundation upholding this World's humanity, nothing is too harsh. No sacrifice too great. No suffering to inhumane. Bear through the worst of it for there is most definitely something worse that will follow.
This was how he lived, and, as far as he knew, how everyone in the 85th Company lived. Everyone knew the risks, what was at stake.
A single mistake is enough to cost Humanity dearly. Past events have done enough to get that point across.
Bear through it.
He thought as he walked through a field of corpses. The ground covered in crimson liquid.
Every step was accompanied by a squelch and the splashing of blood.
How many died?
He didn't know the answer to that question, and he didn't need to know.
From the distance, smoke billowed upwards to the sunset skies from the wreckage of buildings and machinery.
An eclipsed sun hung high, secluded by the clouds of blood mist.
A horrid stench wafted through his nose, but he ignored it.
He heard a noise, he stopped in his steps.
From behind a flipped-over car, a child popped her head out before rearing it back at seeing him. It was only a brief moment, but it was enough for him to get a good look at her face, tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were puffy from crying.
A bloodied hand sticking out of the wreckage of the car told him all he needed.
Tragedies were commonplace in this world and sadly he's witnessed worse.
The child popped her head up again and this time he softly beckoned for her to come out.
"Hey." His voice was drowned out a bit by the distant echoes of gunshots though he tried his best to look as approachable as possible. "I'm not gonna hurt you."
Lies. You would kill her if it was necessary.
He ignored the whispers.
Slowly, the child came out from behind the car, her body covered in soot and the white sundress she wore dripping with blood, blood that was not hers but her parents'. Her brown hair was haggard and singed around the edges.
The child was sniffling and lightly sobbing as she clung onto a stuffed animal that somehow remained clean throughout the entire mess.
She made a couple wobbly steps forward him, a nearby crackling fire illuminated her face, the kid looked like she was just one step away from crying, but he didn't pay that any heed. His attention was on her shadow and the amount of ghastly protrusions it showed contrary to her figure.
His mind was set on a course of action, but a pang of regret struck him for what he was about to do, he ignored it just like the whispers.
He smiled, a false one, but close enough to the real thing that neither the child nor the being she harbored noticed anything wrong with it.
The distance between them narrowed; he was intent on letting her get as close to him, lesser chances of anything going wrong when he acted if she was as close to him as possible.
20 feet.
Discretely, he sent out a pulse of mana, passing through the girl without her noticing.
18 feet.
She got closer. He felt sick, at himself for what he was about to do and at the insight that he gained of the girl's inner structure.
16 feet.
A pulsating structure was attached to her brain, sending out occasional tendrils of malicious energy throughout her body as it warped.
12 feet.
She was already turning. It was only a matter of time. The nearest Cleanser Cell was on the other side of the city. She would have long turned before he carried her there.
10 feet.
Now
Utilizing proper footwork, he immediately closed the gap between them. Before the child or the thing inside her could react, the cold barrel of a pistol was already pressed on her forehead.
He was fast, like he had already done this same song and dance countless times. Most would have seen it as him teleporting but those with keen eyes could track albeit with some difficulty. Proper footwork could go a long way, couple that with Reinforcement and one would get better results.
For a moment, his skin gained blue circuit patterns. He exercised a Mystery.
Four Distinct Permutations of Effects and Phenomena arranged themselves within the barrel of his gun and in the bullets loaded in it.
Without an ounce of hesitation, he pulled the trigger, the bullet left the gun in a trail of blue and lodged itself in her head instead of punching through it. He heard a sickening squelch accompanied by a thousand distinct tiny screams.
The girl could only let out a small squeak before she fell to the ground, the stuffed animal she clung to softly hit the cold floor with a soft fluff.
Her face went through countless emotions; denial grief, fear then hate.
He knew this was the being's emotions being displayed but it still hurt him being on the receiving end of the dying body's baleful glare, blood pouring down her face from the hole one her forehead.
He prepared to shoot the body again.
Next, the body smiled, which surprised him. It wasn't a malicious one nor one that carried ill-intent just a knowing smile plastered on the dying girl's face. Her eyes showed acceptance, fully knowing what was coming next.
She knew what was happening and why. She knew that something was inside her, ready to turn her body into a meat puppet owned by something eldritch and alien.
Her mouth opened but no words came out, maybe being shot in the brain deprived her of the ability to speak. But Suimei heard those unspoken words clearly.
Kill me.
He faltered then gathered his resolve, berating himself for hesitating.
The knowing smile she held reflected off of his resolute navy-blue eyes.
Again, Permutations arranged themselves, this one loaded and configured to make the girl's passing as painless as possible but not affecting its efficiency in banishing whatever was inside her.
I'm sorry.
She closed her eyes as blood started leaking from every orifice on her body.
He pulled the trigger.
This time instead of leaving a blue trail behind it left with a golden light.
A cascade of Mysteries manifested. White tendrils of energy formed and wreathed around them.
The teachings derived from Ars Combinatoria molded the world around them.
Whatever horror that was plaguing the girl was fully purged and burnt away by a symphony of Phenomena and Effects.
He saw numbers in a grid pattern. So many of them. He would always catch glimpses of them when performing his Magecraft and he found them beautiful.
A world governed by Numbers.
He moved them to his will. Numbers changed and glitched. Transient flowers manifested all around them.
He may not be able to manipulate that world with such mastery that he would be able to change and alter direction and magnitude like a certain Special Officer nor was he like Captain Animusphere who could derive probabilities and certainties from this world of numbers.
But this.
The flowers started shifting through different colors though it mostly stuck to the theme of lighter hues.
He could do at least this much as a parting gift, albeit a fleeting one.
Most flowers fell to the ground, right next to the child's body and, but a few stayed suspended in the air.
Some started turning into motes of blue light before disappearing entirely.
He watched as he felt her soul depart to whatever afterlife awaited her, ready to act if something decided to snatch it away and use it for nefarious purposes; it was the least he could do.
The tendrils receded and disappeared completely soon after.
His eyes settled on the stuffed animal the girl clung to. Picking it up, he decided that he'd place it right within the girl's embrace.
By the time the last of the flowers disappeared, he was already long gone.
A certain Wizard Marshall would have remarked that those flowers he materialized looked a lot like the ones from Avalon.
Suimei would take that as a compliment; he hoped that the afterlife that awaited the girl was – at the very least – as pleasant as Avalon.
Author's Note: First thing I'm posting here. Also wrote this while bored.