A/N: Repost of an old fic. This was originally in my 100 Themes in Lokidom collection as separate ficlets, but I combined them into one story here.

CHAPTER ONE
Unwelcome Responsibility

"Explain this to me again?"

"My father believes that you might be of use in…restoring my brother—as you were of great benefit to me."

Jane massaged her temples. The headache she felt coming on earlier was in full force now. "Yeah, I got that part. I guess I was just hoping the second time around it would make more sense. Apparently not."

Thor's expression softened. Beautiful, heroic Thor who hadn't kept his promise to return in over a year—though she now knew why. "Jane, I do not relish leaving him alone in your care, but Father will soon return to the Odinsleep, and I must rule in his place." He reached for her hand across the table. "Heimdall will look upon you, and I will return if there is need."

Jane believed him. This was Thor, after all. There was just one teeny-tiny problem: he was speaking as if she had already agreed to this crazy plan. And she so did not. "I'm going to have to pass."

Thor's brow furrowed. "Pass? Pass where?"

She almost chuckled at his adorable cluelessness. "I mean, I'm flattered, but I respectfully decline the job of taking in a deadly psychopath and turning him into a model Asgardian," she said, trying to use all the words Thor would understand. With a quick glance to the shackled and muzzled dark-haired man standing near the table, she added, "No offense."

Loki's pale eyes glinted dangerously in response—another reason this was a very, very bad plan.

Thor was silent for a minute, his mouth drawn out in a tight line. "Unfortunately, this is not a request."

"Not a request," Jane repeated the words as if saying them out loud would suddenly change their meaning. "Let me get this straight. You guys were sitting around wondering what to do about the black sheep in the family and your dad said, 'Hey, what about that Jane girl? She did all right by Thor. Let's send her Loki!' And I don't get a say in any of this!?"

She dropped her voice and leaned forward, pointing at the deadly psychopath in question. "Do you remember what he did last time he was here? You're asking me—no scratch that. You're telling me that I have to harbor a man who is responsible for an alien invasion that killed dozens of people—not to mention that he did some mind-controlling thing to one of my dearest friends. And I'm supposed to be okay with this plan?"

Thor winced. "It is not ideal, I agree, but…" He paused with a heavy sigh. "Loki is my brother, and if there is a chance for him, I will take it. There is no one in the nine realms that I would entrust with his care other than you. You have a good heart and a clever mind, Jane."

Jane's stomach sank like a ball of lead. "Please don't tell me this was your idea."

"No, it was not." Thor shook his head and redeemed himself in Jane's eyes. "I argued against this, but it has been decided." He shrugged as if to say, "All-powerful god-like dads. What can you do?"

The lack of choice grated on her, even if it didn't seem to bother Thor. Maybe it was her democratic upbringing, but she wasn't about to bow and scrap just because a king from another planet decided to throw her life into madness. Sorry, buddy. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.

"No," Jane said, mustering all of her bravado in the face of Thor's puppy-dog expression. "I can't do it, and if you leave him here, I'll…" She gulped. "I'll turn him over to SHIELD."

Loki slammed his manacled hands against the table, making her jump. He glared at her, conveying with his unnaturally striking eyes every way in which he could exact the utmost agony from her before finally giving her the relief of death.

"Do you see this?" she said to Thor, wavy a shaky hand toward his evil brother. "He'll kill me. You don't want me dead, right?"

"Enough, Loki." Thor stared his brother down until Loki straightened, spreading his hands as far as he could in surrender. The gesture was more mocking than sincere. "SHIELD knows of this arrangement already. Loki can harm no one," Thor said, turning back to Jane, "and…"

Jane waited for him to continue, but when the pregnant pause had gone past its due date, she prodded him. "And?"

"And you are…bound together."

"We're what?" The question came out in a squeak as she glanced at the God of Mischief. His nose was scrunched as if he found the idea as appealing as she did. Which was not even not at all. It was the Not at All to end all Not at Alls.

"Father felt it necessary to ensure Loki's cooperation." Thor gave her a wan smile. "Perhaps some good can come of this for you as well. Loki may be able to aid you in your research—if he can be persuaded to use his keen mind for something other than mischief."

Jane blinked at Thor. Mischief? He called raining terror down on New York City mischief? The man needed a dictionary. "How long?" Resignation swept over her like an avalanche of mud.

"As long as needed."

Jane rolled her eyes. "What if he doesn't…reform? Is there a set time limit where if he doesn't change, you take him back? Or am I supposed to just pawn him off to my posterity when I die?" The whole thing felt surreal—discussing the custody of a maniacal god as if he were something between a family heirloom and a child caught in the middle of an ugly divorce.

"I do not know, Jane," Thor answered. "But there is always wisdom in what my father does."

Loki threw his head back and shook with silent laughter. Jane suspected he had a very different view of Odin's wisdom than his brother. She was chagrined to admit her own opinion probably more closely aligned with Loki's.

Jane rubbed her eyes with a groan. "So, how does this work?"

Thor's face lit up in a brilliant smile. He set a thick manila envelope on the table. "The Man of Iron has helped me set up a…" he paused as if searching for the correct term, "…trust for my brother, of which you will be the trustee. Father has also bequeathed you a monthly stipend for your services in this matter. It is a small consolation, but I hope that it will be of some use to you."

Jane opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. There was a letter from Pepper Potts explaining that some paperwork needed to be signed and directions on where to file it. A note from Tony Stark was scrawled at the bottom in nearly illegible handwriting. He wrote that she ought to tell them all to go to hell and send Loki over for him and "the green rage-monster" to deal with. Jane bit back a grin.

She had to swallow down a gasp a moment later when she turned the page. Could you put that much money into a trust? Clearly Asgardians had no clue about Earth's monetary system. Her stomach did a nervous flutter as she skimmed through the legalese to where the details of her monthly stipend were laid out.

When she muttered a surprised explicative, Thor frowned. "Will this not suffice?"

Jane looked up at him. "This is…more than enough." Ten thousand dollars a month. Ten freaking thousand dollars a month! And that was just for her. She didn't have to use any of it to clothe and feed Loki, the world's newest and wealthiest trust fund baby. The desperately underfunded scientist in her began wringing her hands with glee.

"All is well, then." Thor stood, appearing visibly relieved. "I am sorry that you must endure this, Jane. I would that his care had been given to me, but I have failed to make him see reason." He leaned over the table and brushed the hair from her cheek. "If you can succeed where others have not, the family of Odin will forever be in your debt."

Jane would have liked to enjoy his intimate caress, but she couldn't ignore Loki who was rolling his eyes so hard she thought he might strain something.

Thor turned to his brother then, and Jane's heart pounded as he began removing Loki's restraints. Once free of the shackles and muzzle, the God of Lies worked his jaw and rubbed at his wrists. He glanced at Jane and a dark grin stretched his lips. In response, she rose to her full height—which was not very high—to hide just how scared that simple look had made her.

"Loki," Thor said, "you understand that you must always remain at Jane's side or—"

"Or agony beyond my wildest imaging, as I recall." Loki waved a dismissive hand and began pacing around the lab.

"And any harm you mete out on others," Thor continued, "will be visited upon you a hundredfold."

Loki peered over his shoulder, his smile turning feral. "That may not be a sufficient deterrent."

"Loki," Thor growled, his hand twitching at his side. "You will behave yourself."

Loki's eyes narrowed into slits, and for a minute, Jane thought that UFC: Asgardian Style was about to commence in her poor little lab with all of the equipment she had painstakingly built herself. Not for the first time today, she thought her life might have been better off if she had never ran into Thor, God of Abs.

Just as the tension was about to come to a head, Loki let out a soft laugh and raised his hands. "Of course. I'm certain Jane Foster will make me as soft as she's made you." His deep voice was sprinkled with just a dash of bitterness and a dollop of hatred.

Jane grimaced and edged around the table toward Thor. Great. Just great. Not only did she have to babysit one of Earth's biggest supervillains, but apparently he already had some kind of bone to pick with her. If she ever met Odin, they were going to have words. And not the nice ones.

Thor ran his fingers through his golden hair with a sigh. "Jane," he said, gently ushering her aside. "I must take my leave of you. Will you speak with me—outside?"

Before Jane could nod, Loki snorted. "By all means, don't let me get in the way of your lover's chat."

Jane gave him a flat look before turning back to the Thor. "Yeah, outside is probably best." She followed him out, the old glass doors screeching loudly as they stepped through. Jane made a mental note to oil the hinges—even though she knew she would forget to. She always did.

Thor faced her, looking ridiculously huge and out of place in his cape and armor. A few passers-by gaped at him, but he didn't notice. "Be wary of his silver tongue," he warned. "He may not be able to bring you bodily harm, but my brother can be rather adept at spinning lies and half-truths—especially since…" He didn't finish the sentence.

Jane nodded. "Got it. Anything else? Food allergies? Feeding schedule? Special bedtime? Is he toilet trained?" She wasn't normally so sarcastic—that was Darcy's area of expertise—but Jane was still smarting from having Loki forced on her.

Fortunately, Thor took the biting questions in good humor. He laughed and grasped her shoulders. "Jane Foster, you truly are like no other." Reaching down to pick up Mjölnir where he had left it on the sidewalk, he said, "Will you be all right?"

"Do I have a choice?" Jane shrugged. "I'll survive, I think."

Apparently satisfied, Thor stepped out into the street, preparing to fly off. Jane bit her lip, arguing with herself over whether or not to ask the question which had been knocking around in her mind since he appeared on her doorstep.

"Thor, wait!" She jogged over to him.

He looked down at her expectantly and her stomach did a feeble somersault. He really was the perfect specimen of masculinity.

"Um," she began, feeling a little stupid. "What are we?" He raised a brow.

"I don't understand."

"Of course you wouldn't. That would be too easy," she muttered under her breath before trying again. "I mean, is there something between you and me?" She hoped he understood because the thought of spelling it out further was its own special brand of mortification.

"Ah, yes." He smiled but it was a little sheepish. "Is that your wish?"

Jane hadn't been prepared for that reaction and it gave her pause. She had spent the last year waiting on him—not just to reappear, but to define their budding relationship, if there was one at all. Come to think of it, it had been kind of ridiculous to pine after some guy she had barely known three days.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Maybe we should start as friends?"

Thor mulled it over for a minute before answering, "I would be glad to be your friend, Jane." He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. "Farewell."

Jane sucked her cheeks in attempt to keep a goofy smile off her face. "Bye," she said shyly as she backed away. Good grief, what was it about this man that had her tittering like a school girl?

He swung his hammer around and then shot off like a rocket, stirring the leaves and street debris up in his wake. She stared after his disappearing figure for as long as she could as she wasn't exactly anxious to return to what awaited her inside.

What was she going to do with Loki? Hopefully he would be brooding and withdrawn and leave her be.

Taking a deep breath, she went back inside. The tall, thin bad guy was examining a computer mouse, rolling a slender finger over the red light on the bottom.

"I assume," he said, not looking up, "your farewell with my so-called brother was filled with confessions of undying love and promises he doesn't intend to keep."

So much for brooding and withdrawn. Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, her headache in full force again. Now was probably a good time to buy stock in Tylenol. With a sigh, she crossed the room and plucked the mouse from his hands. "I don't suppose you're going to behave like a good boy so you can leave as soon as possible?"

He seemed to sincerely consider her suggestion. "The thought had occurred to me, yes." He picked up Darcy's very pink iPod and tapped it. "But then I remembered how dearly I despise you—" he brought his eyes to hers, lips curling in a sneer, "—the pitiful mortal who dared to capture the heart of a god whose boots you aren't worthy to lick, and I wondered why, in the nine realms, would I make any of this easy for you."

He set down the iPod and towered over her. "This is my promise to you, Jane Foster." He spat her name as if it were a piece of rotten fruit. "I will make every minute we spend together an intolerable misery. I will have you broken before Thor, begging him to take me back to my prison. I will have you spend the rest of your pathetic life wishing you had never laid eyes on the God of Thunder, nor attempted to redeem the God of Mischief."

Jane swallowed thickly but stayed rooted to the spot against her every instinct screaming for her to run far and fast. "You can't hurt me." She mentally congratulated herself for managing to keep her voice steady.

Loki snorted. "But I know so many ways of being injurious—nearly all of which require no physical contact." He grabbed her wrist. "However, even that might be worth the consequences." Before Jane could protest, he gave her forearm a hard pinch.

"Ow!" She jerked away from him. A small red, purplish bruise was already blossoming on her skin. That horrible man!

She spun back to face him, but her angry invectives died in her throat when she saw his already too-pale features turn ashen. His eyes rolled upward as he cradled an arm and emitted a soft keening sound—like a dying whale under water. Jane wanted to be smug about his injury—even reminding herself this was not even close to what the psycho deserved—but apparently her soft-hearted tendencies extended to evil people as well. The revelation made her as far from happy as Loki was from sanity.

"That answers that question." He pulled up the sleeve of his frayed tunic with a groan and Jane shuddered at the slightly off appearance of his arm. That was definitely broken.

He laid his other hand over the break, squeezing his eyes shut. He muttered something unintelligible under his breath—some kind of chant. Jane held her breath with fear and anticipation as he healed himself, or tried to. After a minute, he cursed.

"Give me your arm," he said, reaching for her. Jane backed away.

"Not on your life!"

Loki glowered at her. "I'm not going to harm you again. Now give me your arm!"

She hesitated for a breath before finally yielding. Loki pressed his good hand over the bruise and repeated the incantation from before. Cold tingles fanned out across her skin from beneath his palm, prickling her with goosebumps. The air around her arm seemed to crackle with electricity. When she gasped, Loki lifted his hand. The bruise was gone, and he looked downright murderous.

"And so I cannot heal myself," he said. "Will the unpleasant surprises never cease?"

This little restriction was pretty logical when Jane considered it. What would be the point of turning the harm Loki did to others on himself if he could easily heal his own injuries afterward? Well played there, Odin. Of course, that didn't mean she was going to forgive the Asgardian king for saddling her with his castoff criminal of a son.

"Come on," Jane said, going to her desk to grab her keys. "Let's get you to the hospital."

A/N: Because it was in a collection of drabbles, ficlets, and one shots, the next chapter is very short. (It was an answer to a Drabble challenge. Thank you for reading! Reviews are like manna from heaven; they sustain me!