With all my love, a letter for me and a gift for you

A/N: This is set during the GMG arc but has some time-skips to the past. Should be clear enough though. Everything between two hyphen (-) and italics is a letter. Things in italics are thoughts.

Welcome to gajevy week 2020! This is for the first day prompt: Letters! As usual, thanks so much to ranunculus-fox for beta my fic and being the best person I could ever wish to have as a friend ❤ Enjoy!

Why did I do that?!

Levy's hand tangled in her unruly blue hair while the other one held for dear life to the doorknob of her room. As soon as the door clicked shut, she started pacing around the small space between her bed and bounced around her head while her heart pounded its way out of her chest.

I'm just making a big deal out of this. Nothing else. It's just silly. I'm being silly.

Right?

She stopped as she eyed the leftover red ribbon that sat on top of her desk. Earlier that morning, she had been so sure, so confident while preparing her special gift. Her cheeks were still sore from how widely she had been smiling just picturing the scene, the words her mouth would utter, the cheeky grin with a sharp fang that would surely be thrown her way after opening the package. And now…

"Ugh! How could I be so stupid?!" she flopped down onto her bed on her back, rubbing her palms over her eyes and down her face, trying to erase the memory, erase the flick of red eyes meeting hers, erase the lack of a grin, erase the echo of heavy footsteps getting farther away from her and leaving her hollow in a lonesome hallway.

She huffed defeatedly. Nothing she did was helping her feel any better. It only helped to make her feel worse. Levy looked back to the desk and next to the annoying little reminder of her impromptu gift, sat a blank piece of paper and an ink pen. She frowned but still got up from her bed. She sat down heavily on the desk, pushing away the red ribbon and getting a firm grab on her pen.

She started writing.

-Dear Levy,

What did you expect?! You knew this could happen! So stop sulking around like a schoolgirl with a crush!-

"I'm not sulking," she said out loud while puffing her cheeks.

Okay, yes, I'm sulking.

And though the reader might think that our lovely bookworm has officially lost her mind, this is not the case. No, Levy is just using one of Lucy's tricks when the celestial mage can't wrap her head around something in particular: she writes letters. To whom? Well, it varies from time to time. Sometimes, Lucy writes letters to her late parents, sometimes to her guildmates, and sometimes even to herself. Whether she ever keeps her letters or burns them, depends entirely on the timely visit of a particular hyperactive fire dragon-slayer.

But let's not get sidetracked, shall we?

Lucy's advice had come in handy for Levy as she had written several letters in the past year (not considering Tenrou's time skip) and it had proven to be a healing process for the solid-script mage. Maybe due to the nature of her magic, Levy's thoughts would always clear out once written on paper. No matter how turbulent her emotions were, she always found an answer on what to think or how to act after reading over her newest letter, tracing each scrip with ink-stained fingers, sometimes marvelling at how accurate her letters were able to give a physical form to her feelings and thoughts.

Her first letter had been written right after two new members had joined Fairy Tail. Same two mages who had waged a war against the same guild they were being welcomed to.

-Why would Master Makarov let them join Fairy Tail?! I mean, I'm not doubting Master, but… why? He knows what they did to us, what he did to me, Jet and Droy… so why?

And…

Why did he jump in front of Laxus lightning? To protect me? It couldn't be… he could have… pushed me aside for that.

But he was also holding back from Jet and Droy's attacks. What was all that about? What is he trying to accomplish?

Can he be… different? From the monster in the alley from back then?

No, that's just silly, right? Levy, you're being silly… There's no way Gajeel Redfox, iron dragon-slayer had a sudden change of heart, right?

Right…?

Then, why did he save me from Laxus...?-

Another one had been written after the announcement of the participants for the S-class trials.

-You go girl!

I'm so excited I got chosen to be on the s-class trials this year! Yay!

And even Cana and Lucy are going to be there! This is going to be amazing!

If I'm honest, I'm pretty nervous hehe. I don't know how well I'll be able to fight my way through the trials… I'm small and my magic is not... the strongest…

…

…

But it doesn't matter!

With Gajeel as my partner, I'm sure we'll do great! Well, that's what he said. He'll make me big, so I cannot give up without a fight!

Though it's pretty weird he volunteered to be my partner… It's probably just because he still holds a rivalry with Natsu. Such a dummy… but well, if he can help me get to S-class, I won't complain of him picking a fight with anyone else in Tenrou Island!

This time, I'll prove I can be strong as well!-

All of Levy's letters shared two characteristics. One, they were always addressed to herself. And two, she only wrote one when a certain iron dragon-slayer was involved. Though at the start Levy was oblivious to this last characteristic, she became aware that all her letters included him in some way or another, much to her embarrassment. And today was no different.

This morning, Levy had been eager to meet up with the iron dragon-slayer. She had managed to steal a moment with him right after the rambunctious dinner the guild had at the local bar.

It was day 3 of the Grand Magic Games and Levy had gathered the courage to approach Gajeel right before he headed back to his room. She stood straight meeting ruby eyes but soon she fidgeted under such strong gaze. She would have wrung her hands if they weren't occupied by the small gift that she hid behind her back.

"Ehm… Gajeel… uhm…"

"Oi, what is it, Shrimp?" His strong voice made her snap back to action and she shoved her gift forward.

"This is for you." She felt the blush form on her cheeks and heat up her entire body but she refused to flee. Still, this was too much for her and averted her eyes from his.

She felt the roughness of his fingertips when he grabbed the package, an involuntary shiver travelled down her spine. After some rustling of paper, she heard a sharp breath intake.

Are you surprised? Do you like it?

"Uhm…" Levy's voice returned to her but she kept her eyes fixed on her shoes. Her hands played with the edge of her sleeves now that they were free from the intense weight of the surprisingly light package. "I noticed that your hair kept falling on your eyes...d-during the race... So maybe this can help you. It's something small but I-" the words died on her mouth as she finally looked up.

Gajeel was looking at her with wide eyes and an unreadable expression settled on his face. His shoulders were tense as if he had been given an incredible burden he couldn't seem to wrap his head around, the headband Levy had just given him rested on his hand in a gentle grasp. The air around him crackled with anxiety. His eyes were piercing through her, observing her every move, every breath she took, as if he was gauging the moment with intense scrutiny. He looked like a cornered beast, instincts flaring to decide whether to run or fight. The presence of his breath was almost entirely concealed and the absence of his words was too loud to take any longer.

"Uhm… Gajeel, a-are you o-?"

"Ah." He averted his eyes for a second and when he looked back at her, there was a sudden firmness to his eyes. Cold as steel and impenetrable to any question that rested on Levy's tongue. An iron wall had been raised between them both, as high as the sky and as wide as the length of Earthland itself. And the foundation of the new impenetrable barrier was the silly headband that Levy had gifted him.

A gift that was supposed to bound his hair out of his face had severed the thread of their rare friendship instead. A gift that was soft and light had been the sharpest weapon that pulled them apart. Not the night terrors, not the remorse… a simple headband had been enough.

For all that Levy is a solid-script mage, she couldn't find her mind or mouth to form any words.

After another silent second, Gajeel nodded, all firm and distant. He turned around and resumed his walk back to his room, leaving Levy confused and, for some reason, cold in the empty hallway.

Yearning twisted her heart with every step he took until she couldn't take it anymore. But as much as her soul cried to follow him, to ask him what was wrong, to apologize if she had done something wrong, her feet refused to do so. Her entire body was all too aware of the iron wall that kept them at a distance. And no matter how bad it hurt, she tore her eyes from his retreating back. Step by step, she moved down the opposite side of the hallway until she found herself running in a mad sprint until she reached her room. Confusion and dejection muddled her mind and a gaping hole expanded in her chest where her heart used to be. Nothing made sense.

Absolutely nothing.

Did I fuck up somehow? It was a friendly gift, wasn't it? Did I offend him somehow?

Nothing of that interaction made sense, and if she knew Gajeel any less, she would have said that he looked… a little bit… scared.

But why?

Hence, Levy sat down at her desk to write herself a letter. To try to stitch back together the ravelling edges of her heart.

-Dear Levy,

What did you expect?! You knew this could happen! So stop sulking around like a schoolgirl with a crush! Not that you have one on him, right?

He's weird. And you know that. Better than anyone. Well, maybe not better than Juvia but you definitely know he's a bit weird and awkward.

But this? This is just… I don't know. I didn't expect this. I thought he would make fun of me, or maybe just give back the gift (wow that would have hurt more, huh?) or maybe say 'Thank you' (yeah, right, Gajeel Redfox saying 'thank you', don't think so).

Then, why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt that he just… left and didn't say anything?

It was just a gift. As a friend! It didn't mean anything else… right?

Then, why do I feel like this? Could it be… Were you… Was I… expecting something else?

Why does everything always get so complicated when it's about Gajeel Redfox?! Why do I feel this way?!

Why?!-

Levy's pen lifted from its canvas just when the first tear threatened to spill from the mage's eye, but she refused to acknowledge it. She gritted her teeth and held her pen in a death-grip, close to crushing pressure.

"I- I…" she choked on a stubborn sob that escaped her lips. "I-" she tried again, growling in frustration at how her voice cracked. "He's an idiot and teases me nonstop. He's always looking for a fight and a big big dummy!"

"But I-," she heaved a breath, "I…" Her pen resumed her place on the parchment of paper.

-I love him.-

And somehow, those three words grounded her and made her soar to the higher skies. They felt so heavy she thought her tongue incapable of pronouncing them, yet she felt lighter reading them over and over again. Butterflies fluttered in her chest, filling the gaping hole that had formed in a hallway. New colours painted each memory with Gajeel and though she could still see the iron wall that separated them, built new not even an hour ago, she now had the strength and the courage to carve three words into the cool metal.

I love you.

As a solid-script mage, Levy knew how three words could transform into a powerful spell. But not these. Never these. Because she would never wield them to inflict harm, never use them to destroy the barrier in her way. No, Levy knew the carving of three words will not bring the wall between them down or even make it thinner. And she was fine with that. She was fine with the carving only existing on her side. Because, even if it was a one-sided love, for the first time in so long, Levy felt that everything was right. This love she held for him, so strong and sturdy, yet gentle and warm, filled her with peace.

I love you.

Her muddled thoughts and feelings finally cleared out. The ends of her heart pulled back together with stronger threads that mesh together with the absolute peace offered only by a love declaration letter.

She was in love with Gajeel Redfox. And she had been for some time now. That's why she always sought him out at the guild. Why she felt so at ease during the S-class trials with him as her partner. Why she worried each time he came back with a new set of scars.

He was the reason why she often wrote herself a new letter.

"I love him," she uttered in the quiet of the night and the loneliness of her room. The tears had finally fallen down her cheeks like thin slivers of a new-born creak.

A gentle smile spread over her face as Levy put her pen down. With a flick of her hands and a small script spell, her letter was stored with the rest of her letters, safely tucked away from prying eyes. She made her way to her bed and got under the covers. With another flick of her hand, the lights in the room switched off.

As she closed her eyes, only one thought crossed her mind.

She was in love with Gajeel Redfox. She was in love with a stupid big lug dragon-slayer, who always picks a fight with Natsu and acts so silly with Lily, who teases Levy non-stop about her height and then says she's amazing for decyphering some runes. This love, so strong yet so well-concealed behind a rare friendship, made her feel at ease for once in so long.

And though he might not feel the same way for her as he had no obligation to reciprocate her love, Levy decided that she could live with that. She could live with a one-sided love carved in metal. Because somehow, some way, this feeling, loving him, felt so right. As if her heart had been waiting so long to beat at the rhythm of those words. So, she will not stop. She will not run away from her own feelings anymore. She will face them head-on. She will welcome the pace her heart had set for herself, with all the bumps and hardships that it might bring. She will embrace it with open arms and paint the grey of the iron wall with the colours his presence has brought to her life.

Levy's breath evened out and she finally allowed sleep to take over her, the gentle smile never easing from her lips.

What she didn't expect but the avid reader must have guessed by now, is that the next night, Levy would be grabbing her ink pen again along with a new sheet of paper. Because on the morning of day 4 of the Grand Magic Games, Levy had been fully prepared to deal with her one-sided love, with the taste of bitter rejection in her mouth. But she had no strategy on how to think, feel or act when Gajeel Redfox came into the battle arena wearing the same headband she had given him the night before.

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, deafening every sound around her. Electricity coursed through her veins at the meaning behind this scene. Her mind ran a mile a minute while her tongue rested unmoving in her drying mouth.

And right before the battle started, Levy's entire being froze when red eyes locked onto her hazel ones. Where coldness and harshness had been present the night before, the ruby of his eyes now held a new warmth and determination. An acknowledgement was settled in those eyes, a recognition of the meaning behind a simple piece of cloth, and, strangely, an apology entwined with a promise of something else, a promise that had nothing to do with the current battle, but everything to do with the future.

And well, let's just say that Levy's newest letter will not be too long as it would hold the exact length of three words.

-Could it be?-

Cracks had formed in the iron wall, letting a bright light shine through.

A/N: Hope you enjoy the story! Leave your comments :) I'm also on Tumblr (wheresthefood123), AO3 (WheresTheFood), twitter (wtf123) and on the gajevy discord :) Happy gajevy week 2020 to everyone!