Sometime in or around when they first started actively going into the field:
There's a Library in the New York Institute that never locks its doors. Jace had always felt a sense of ease when he crossed into the room, no matter what was on the other side of the door, once he crossed the threshold into the room he felt safe. He'd wondered fleetingly if that was part of the warding magic on the place, or if it was because this place was Alec's. Warm colorful lights danced across the book covers, and an alcove in the back was perfectly situated for a young Shadowhunter to crawl in and hide from the world.
Anyone who knows Alec knows that this is his place.
The library is open to everyone in the institute, but only a few Shadowhunters actually spend time there outside of classes. Alec, to Jace's almost daily horror, can almost always be found here if he's not training. It doesn't have his name on it, but everyone in the institute knows. To be fair, thought Jace, it was one of the few places where silence could be had, in a building full of constant activity, the Library was like an oasis of serenity. Jace could understand the need for it, he had his music and Alec had his books.
So when Jace slid behind the furthest bookshelf in the back of the room to find Alec wrapped up in a blanket with a book on his lap, he was both relieved and sad. Everyone in the institute had seen Maryse serve Alec his ass on a platter; and it wasn't that it was new or anything, she almost always did her berating of her children in front of an audience, but this time Alec hadn't been wrong.
This wasn't something Jace could let go. Isabelle had stomped out of the room her back straight and her shoulders stiff, fury on every line of her face, but incapable of offering Alec any comfort. So it was up to Jace, shitty as he was at this, to ease the burn he could feel through their bond.
Alec wouldn't thank him. Uncomfortable and fragile as he was. But this was Jace's job, and he'd be damned if he wouldn't try to be a good Parabatai to the man curled up on himself in the darkest part of the institute.
Alec knew he was there, but Jace gave him half the courtesy of potentially telling him to fuck off. Not that he would, but it was the principal. "Hey." Alec didn't even stir, not a grumble or an acknowledgement, just continued to stare at his book in the dark. Jace slid down and crawled to the other side of the alcove. Facing Alec, he could see the shadows under his eyes, the cut on his arm, the bruises on his face from the mission they'd just come back from, and none of it was healing. Not that Jace was surprised. His brother was sitting here in pain trying to reconcile what he did and didn't deserve.
Fucking parents.
Jace kicks his thigh, Alec's long legs meant that's about where Jace's foot hit when he stretched out, and Alec looks up finally with a glare. Jace doesn't even flinch, just kicks him again. Alec grumbles at him. Jace doesn't snicker, but a bitchy Alec was better than a non responsive Alec. His face was stuck with the glower, but it didn't stop the swell of affection in Jace's chest or pulling Alec's foot into his lap and pushing his pants leg up. Raising a brow at Alec, he took out his stele and began drawing healing runes on him. Alec huffed but didn't pull his leg out of Jace's lap.
Alec leaned back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, "You don't have to be here. I'm fine."
Jace made a noncommittal humming noise. Sometimes it was best to give Alec time to get his thoughts together, Jace had learned early on that Alec wouldn't open up without a lot of patience. Alec sighed and shoved his bare feet under Jace's thigh, absentmindedly, because if he'd been paying attention he wouldn't be so cavalier. He didn't allow physical closeness between them very often, not casual prolonged physicality anyway. Always shying away or curling in on himself like Jace's touch was both a blessing and a curse. Jace knew why, he just ignored it for both of their sake. Alec would deal with it eventually.
Jace opened one of the books Alec had squirreled away and began reading. What the hell was his brother reading tucked away in this alcove? Stories about flying boys? Good lord, only Alec. Jace rolled his eyes after reading the line 'I'll teach you how to jump on the wind's back, and then away we go '. This was nonsense fiction, which is why Alec hid from everyone when he read it. Robert would have thought this a complete waste of time, but Alec found comfort in stories Jace knew, even if Alec himself couldn't actually articulate it. Even Jace would begrudgingly admit there was some pleasure in falling into a made up world.
Jace didn't need made up stories. He had Alec. Alec was comfortable in a way that Jace had never experienced, he was a solid foundation that Jace could always rely on. Growing up, he hadn't been allowed this kind of ease. He'd never had anyone who would just sit with him and let the world pass by. It was something he was beyond grateful to Alec for, and he wished he was better at putting things into words. Absorbed in the book, it takes him a minute to realize that Alec had stopped staring off into nothing and had begun to stare at Jace.
"Do you think I was wrong?" He asked in his quiet determined way.
Jace shook his head, "No. It was a kid and no matter what goes on inside these walls politically, we protect kids. Regardless of race." He knew there were people around them that hated Werewolves, Vampires, Seelie and Warlocks. But he also knew that Alec took his duty to the Clave very seriously, so when they contradicted themselves he was always left floundering. It was their job to protect the world from demons, not protect some of the world from demons.
"Mom says I should have brought the kid here, but his parents were just so…" Alec stopped not able to continue and Jace winced.
That kids parents had been beside themselves with worry and fear. Powerful warlocks raising an adopted warlock child, and they'd nearly collapsed with relief at having the boy back. Jace knew and Alec knew that neither of their parents would have ever exhibited the same amount of care or worry over their well being. And if they'd brought him back to the institute there's no telling what the hell the Clave would have done. Alec hadn't been able to resist it, he'd handed the five year old over without a second's hesitation.
Jace put aside the book he'd been reading and looks at Alec carefully cataloging what's coming through their bond. "You did the right thing Alec." Jace said confidently.
Alec closes his eyes against Jace's probing stare, but Jace can see his wet eyelashes on his cheek. "It's bullshit, such utter complete bullshit."
"Maryse.." Jace stops when Alec's face turns thunderous. He's not an idiot, he knows that Alec has always ripped himself to shreds over their approval. Jace understood on a fundamental level, but he'd left the need for parental approval behind as soon as he realized he could do what needed to be done and damn the rest. He wished like hell he could break the hold that Maryse and Robert had over Alec.
Alec pushed the book off of his lap and pulled the blanket he'd been sitting on around him, physically hiding himself from Jace. He knew it was because Alec was trying to hide his trembling. Goddamnit.
Jace didn't even hesitate. He shifted position and crawled over to Alec, and maneuvers himself until he's curled up facing Alec. Their knees are touching, but Alec has his blanket pulled up over his face. Jace reaches out and pulls it down so he can see Alec's eyes.
"Jace, please just go…" Alec says plaintively.
Jace shakes his head in denial. "Wither thou goest, I will go. I'm not leaving you." Jace makes sure his voice doesn't shake, and tries his best to keep the solemnity of his tone from sounding morbid. Alec was his anchor, he kept Jace from going off the rails. No matter what the shitheads around the institute said about either of them, they were a solid unit and he'd be damned if Maryse fucking Lightwood was going to break something that belonged to him.
Alec rolled his eyes. Jace grinned. Alec huffed. Jace smirked. Alec groaned, "I hate you."
"Not even close brother." Jace reached out and grabbed the blanket again, resting his fist just below Alec's chin. "What do you need?" Jace wasn't usually so introspective, but something about seeing a 5 year old kid reunited with a loving family, and Maryse shitting all over it made him want to wrap Alec up in a bubble so his mother couldn't do this kind of shit to him. Did she not know that her words tore him up? Or did she just not give a damn? There was a fine line between doing shit for Alec's own good, and purposefully pushing his insecurities.
"I don't...can we just stay here?" Alec looks a little embarrassed. "I know you'd rather be training or whatever so you can go, just can I stay here and don't tell anyone." He can't quite meet Jace's eyes, instead staring intently at the fist Jace has clenched around the blanket.
Jace shakes his head and pushes Alec's face up so he'll look at him, "I could use a nap, and your little hole is pretty comfortable."
Alec's face doesn't change, his eyes stay steady, but Jace can feel how relieved he is by Jace's words. "Yeah, okay."
Izzy comes in from a night out before Clary or Magnus crash into their lives
Isabelle Lightwood had just had the best night of her adult life. Her fifteenth birthday was under her belt, her first demon kill, her first kiss, she just had one more big first and she'd taken care of it tonight. More than anything in the world she wanted to roll around in her bed and giggle with the sheer amount of good she was feeling; but, inevitably shimmying her way back into the institute at 5:00 AM killed her well deserved neurological high.
Walking confidently down the hallway to her bedroom, she clenched her hands into fists and frowned at anyone she passed. Appearances were everything, she mustn't let anyone know she'd had fun. Slipping into her room she collapsed on her floor and giggled. Her body was still tingling from the expert way that the Seelie warrior she'd spent the evening with touched her. A dreamy sigh left her lips as she stood up to get in her bed, when she realized her pillows were stuffed under her blanket.
They hadn't been like that when she left.
Alec.
He covered for her without having to ask. Jace knew where she was, but he'd never do something as selfless as save her from getting eviscerated by their mother. Alec, on the other hand, would jump through literal hoops to keep the family peace.
Once again leaving her room, she walked down the hall and opened her brother's door without a knock or announcing her presence, only to be shocked when her brother wasn't in his room. She knew he was in the institute, he didn't go out after hours and there'd been no alert blaring when she came back, but not being in his room was a bit odd. His room, a disaster zone of holey sweaters and books piled precariously everywhere, didn't raise an alarm. She'd always thought it was bizarre how messy he was behind closed doors. A complete contradiction from the dutiful upright boy scout persona he projects to the outside world. She tries to imagine where he could be hiding. Rubbing her forehead, it takes her longer than it should, but she knows exactly where her brother is.
Honestly, she should have just gone there first.
The library is cold even by institute standards, but her brother sort of took over the place and he's basically a polar bear. A 6ft'3 polar bear in baggy sweaters. The lights are out, but as she approaches the alcove hidden behind the furthest bookshelf, she sees a muted glow.
She just stands there at the entrance to Alec's little nook, feeling unsure and a little afraid. A revelation at 15 years old, she was a little too young for revelations she thought, but Alec's approval meant more to her than her Mother and Father's, and hell the Clave combined. If he turned away from her, in that minute, she didn't know what she would do. More vulnerable from the evening's activities than she originally thought, she flushed and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off Alec's judgmental stare. But she needn't have worried.
Alec looked up and greeted her with a nod and a "hey." He wasn't wrapped up in a blanket, and he didn't look mad so Isabelle smiled.
"Hey."
Alec smiles back, in his own way, it never reaches his eyes which pisses her off, but it's warmer than he ever manages for anyone else. "I'm glad you made it back." he says quietly. He'd taken a shower, so his hair was wet, which was odd. It was 5AM he should have been in bed hours ago. He had to be up early to go over the institute's admin junk with their parents, so unless there was an emergency he was always in bed well before dawn.
"Alec are you okay?" She asked worried, she points to his hair, as she disregards all of his personal space and climbs into the little nook to sit beside him. She's half his size but he doesn't smother her as he wraps his arm around her shoulder. It's always worked for them, sibling snuggles, though Alec hates it when she calls it that.
"I'm fine." he says without inflection.
"You're hiding." She grumbles.
"Not from you," Alec assures her. "Just needed a break."
Isabelle scoffs, finding the red and raw skin of her brothers hands where he'd probably been worrying himself since he'd interrogated Jace for her location. "Jace told you I was fine right."
Alec rubbed his chin on her head, "Yeah it was your night off, he said you told him before you left." Alec didn't have to say it, and she didn't need a Parabatai bond with him to know she'd hurt his feelings. But she hadn't wanted him to be involved. Technically she wasn't allowed to be out in the city on her own, regardless of whether or not she was old enough to hunt demons, her mother still thought she was too young to be "out" unsupervised. The last thing she'd wanted was Alec in trouble for her outing and she hadn't wanted him to have to lie. She knew that Jace had no trouble lying through his teeth about...well everything.
Not sure if she should even address his hurt feelings, sometimes that would send him running away and not speaking to her for days, she asked instead, "What made you come here?"
"How do you always fix what you break Izzy? I just…."he sighed, "I don't know what I should do." And with those words, Isabelle knew whatever had him hiding from everything had zero to do with her and everything to do with their parents. They were the only two people that could send Alec into a spiral of self doubt.
"Que pasa hermano?" Izzy asked quietly into his shoulder, switching to Spanish in a bid to comfort. Alec was tense beside her and for a minute, a brief minute, she dreamed of a world where they'd run away from all of this garbage and were living happily. If anyone in her life deserved it, her brother did.
Alec turned to look down at her and shifted his body to face her, "The training results came in for the new classes Hodge set up, and I didn't do as well as Jace. Which, obviously I never do, but one of the new recruits shifted up a few slots so I was third. Mom says my focus has been compromised and I am a huge disappointment to both the Clave and the Institute." Alec's voice never changed inflection, his monotone recital of what their mother said to him was not all that surprising, but Izzy was still furious.
No one. Absolutely NO ONE worked as hard as her brother did, her mother included. God how could she be so obviously cruel.
Alec sighed. "I know I'm not perfect…"
Izzy couldn't let him finish. "Alec, you don't have to be. No one has to be. You are the best brother I could have ever asked for, you do more for me and Jace and even Max than either one of our parents could. Without you….we wouldn't be a family." Izzy said fiercely, "I know Mom has a lot of authority here, and her opinion is important for a lot of reasons, but shouldn't let her do this to you."
Alec started to protest but Izzy shook her head, "No you listen to me. Jace….he barely knew what a real family was supposed to be before you. He still thinks love is weakness, when it's really what binds us together and keeps us all safe. You are the only one that can get through to Max when he's scared or in one of his moods, and if I need something...I mean really need something...you're the person I come to. And it's not because you…."
Alec interrupted her, "None of that matters Izzy, it's…"
She got up on her knees and put her hand over his mouth, "Brother, I am not going to sit here and listen to you tell me that the way you take care of this family is nothing. We would be nothing without you, so no matter what anyone says...the rest of it is bullshit, we've got each other and I'm never leaving you."
Alec pulled his head back and banged it against the wall behind him, "I wish this wasn't so damned hard, why can't it be…"
Isabelle scoffed, "Because our mother has a giant pole stuck up her ass, dad can't pull his head out of his ass, and shit rolls down hill. We suffer the consequences of whatever the Clave drops in their lap, and the fear everyone feels of failing."
Alec winced and ran a hand over the back of his head, leaned further back against the wall, putting distance between them. "When did you get so wise little sister." Alec huffed out a laugh, "I just don't know what I should do. If I'm the perfect fighter like Jace, she still tells me everything that's wrong, but if I broke the rules like you or anyone else, I'm a black spot on the Lightwood name. She has another son, she doesn't need two, and sometimes I feel like she's just waiting for me to do or be something that…."
The light dawned. Isabelle wanted to scream out her frustration. The kid in second place had distracted Alec because Alec had been looking at him in a way that their parents and the Clave deemed inappropriate. Their mother must have watched the training sessions to confirm. Alec didn't like girls, and one day that was either going to kill him or set him free. Izzy hoped like hell he broke free, and she made a vow to herself that if there ever came a time she could help him, she'd do everything she could to help him fly.
Now all she could offer was the comfort of family, so she raised her hand to her brother's head and pulled him into a hug. Alec collapsed a bit falling into her embrace and she cursed the shadow that her parents and the Clave held over them all. "I think mi hermano, the only thing you can do is keep doing the best you can. Even if she has something to say, even if anyone has something to say, if you did the best you could that's all that matters. And you know no matter what, I love you." Alec wrapped his arms around her waist and they sat in the chilly library Alcove. Silence and a sort of comforting peace surrounded them.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a book Alec had probably left behind at some point or another. She grabbed it and the title read 'Peter Pan' she scrunched her nose up a little, it had to be mundane. Only her brother would curse mundanes up one wall and down another, but actually consume their literature. Alec had always enjoyed fiction though, he'd read to her nightly when they were much younger. She pulled back a little, and held the book up for him to see, "read to me?" She asked plaintively.
Alec smiled at her and took the book. It would be good for both of them to escape for a little while she thought.
Her brother's soft timber voice soothed her as he began, "All children, except one, grow up."
Magnus after an intense battle in some nebulous future:
Magnus walked through the institute in a daze, his body tingling from the amount of magic he'd expended in the past few hours. Alec had disappeared to do his "I'm the leader" nonsense, and Magnus was left to his own devices. He couldn't portal home, and he didn't want to bother any of the healers currently being overworked by the ravaged Shadowhunter's and Downworlder's that had fought on the front lines, so he was looking for Isabelle. Her boundless enthusiasm always lifted his spirits.
The Institute was bustling with people, wall to wall, shoulder to shoulder, there were people shouting across the room and running back and forth everywhere he looked. Finding Isabelle wasn't difficult as she was at the very center of it all. She caught sight of him and grinned, waving him over to her.
"How are you feeling?" She asked him with a genuine smile and a pat to his arm. Magnus smiled back at her with just as much warmth as he could muster, and she seemed to understand without him saying anything. He was exhausted. "Trade secret," she said with a whisper as she leaned close to his ear, "head to the library, to the very back passed all the shelves, and there's an alcove, you'll like what you find."
Magnus chuffed, " second star to the right and straight on til morning ?"
Izzy giggled, "I actually know that one, and yeah something like that."
Magnus raised a brow at her, but she only shrugged and shoo'd him away. He made his way through the institute to the back of the library and beyond the furthest bookshelf, where he found what she wanted him to find. At least he thought he had. Why in the world would Isabelle send him to a drab little corner of the library? He almost turned around immediately to go back and scold her for pranking him, but he caught a whiff of his own cologne and paused. Why in the world did this drab little corner smell like him?
Intrigued he moved forward until the alcove was visible, a small grey cloth had been draped over the doorway, he supposed to keep people out. It didn't quite touch the floor, and looked very precariously hung. The scent of sandalwood clung to it when Magnus lifted it up to step inside. Shadowhunter's, he despaired with a sigh.
The little nook, to a Nephilim, was probably considered cozy. It was big enough for a fully grown man to stretch out, but low enough to offer a closed off space to hide, if one were looking for that sort of thing. All he could think of was Harry Potter's room under the stairs. Three oversized grey pillows, a frankly gargantuan fuzzy bean bag chair of sorts, a long plush body pillow, and a blanket were the only comforts the room had to offer, but in every other available space there were books. Piles of books, some open and some closed, and papers strewn about everywhere. Magnus took a deep breath. This was Alec's. Sitting down on the odd bean bag chair, he was surprised at how comfortable it actually was. It wasn't filled with beans, more like some kind of memory foam.
He shook his head at himself, how in the world did he know this was Alec's space? It wasn't just the scent of spice tingling his nose, there was something about this place that just screamed Alexander Lightwood at him. His room at the institute certainly didn't, so what was it? Looking around he tried to take in the details.
Everything was grey and black, not a single shock of color to be found. But that couldn't be the only thing, Alec was a fan of the monochromatic aesthetic, but so were a lot of his people. It wasn't that Shadowhunter's didn't like color, they lived in a church with stained glass windows for pity's sake. Isabelle was never afraid of bold intense colors. Alec even enjoyed color, his love of Magnus was indicative of that, but he didn't like it for himself.
The pillows were set up against the wall and the books could belong to anyone. The place wasn't as tidy as Jace liked; and, there was no leather. If this space belonged to Jace there would be so much leather. Stretching his legs out and thinking about his boyfriend, Magnus huffed at himself for being so wasn't until he pulled one of the oversized pillows into his lap that it dawned on him. Then he looked deeper.
The pillows were the softest things he'd ever put his hands on, snatching the blanket from beside him it was equally as soft. Running his hand over the material of the chair, he had to laugh. His Shadowhunter had never been one for flashy things, he didn't care about sparkle, but he would prowl around a toy store for hours looking for the perfect plushy animal to give to Madzie as a gift. He shoved every pillow off of their bed except for the ones with plush covers. He wallowed in soft blankets. He kept sweaters that were coming apart at the seams, but felt like velvet in your hands. Magnus grinned.
It felt like a revelation. Something he knew but had never really dwelled on.
Alec liked soft things, he loved them, and Magnus is a little ashamed of himself that it took him so long to come to that conclusion. Grinning he imagined all the presents Alec was going to be receiving in his future. Magnus curled up in the chair and pulled the blanket up over him and silently tipped his hat to Isabelle for knowing just where to send him.
He wondered if finding Magnus in his spot would upset him, but a glimmer of an idea began to form in Magnus' mind. He stood up and slipped out of the alcove and out of the Library all together making his way to Alec's room at the institute. Rifling through his drawers he found a change of clothes and stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower. Removing his make-up and changing into Alec's clothes he made his way back to Alec's spot.
He didn't have to wait long before Alec ducked under the cloth covering the entrance. His eyes went wide when he saw Magnus but he smiled immediately. He noted that Alec looked like he hadn't slept in days, and Magnus knew he didn't look much better even fresh from a shower. Alec still had his gear on, though he'd shed the outer layer that had been covered in blood and ichor. His shirt was ripped in several places and his pants were going in the trash if Magnus had anything to say about it, but first things first. Magnus held his arms out and Alec didn't hesitate to fall into them. It took them a minute to situate themselves, but Alec wound up on the bottom with Magnus in his lap wrapped around him like an octopus.
The institute is not a place that Magnus would ever consider comforting, it's cold and harsh and all the things he associated with Shadowhunter's before he met Alec. His memory was long and convoluted, but there was a time when stepping into an institute would send shivers of panic through him. No matter how powerful he grew, the Clave could still send him into a cold sweat. It amazed him that one person could so drastically shift his opinion, that one person could create a space where Magnus was content to rest, one person who felt like an icicle.
He raised a brow at his boyfriend, "where have you been darling, you feel like you just stepped out of a freezer?"
Alec pressed a kiss to his forehead, but Magnus could see the sorrow his question brought forth, "I was in the morgue." And Magnus wrapped his arms even more tightly around Alec.
"I'm so sorry."
"We'll review the footage of the battle tomorrow, but god Magnus so many of them died and I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe I shouldn't push so hard against the Clave, if they had sent reinforcements I wouldn't have lost so many." He sounded so defeated. He sounded so lost.
Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair, "You didn't do anything wrong Alec. You became the leader of this institute through your adherence to a strict set of morals and integrity. You had the confidence to stand up to the Clave, alone I might add, and the compassion to listen to those who were hurting. You led your people into a battle today, and some of them died as a result. They believed fighting for your cause was worth dying for, you mustn't let that be in vain. Honor them by continuing on and not letting their loss be a line item on a Clave report. They deserve better."
Alec was tired, and Magnus wasn't about to let that keep him from being the pillar of courage he was capable of being. Kissing each of his cheeks he looked around the room catching sight of a book that was shoved in the furthest corner he smiled gently at his boyfriend, " All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust ."
Alec laughed and Magnus was grateful for the sound. "God I haven't read that in years."
"It's a wonderful story, and I remember enjoying it immensely when it was released."
"Did you know the author?"
Magnus chuckled, "Sadly no, I never got the chance."
Alec hummed against him, then slipped his hand under Magnus' chin to kiss him. It was soft, sweet, and very much Alexander. Magnus made a happy little sound and deepened it. Alec flicked his tongue out and Magnus grinned into his mouth opening up and inviting him in with a nip to his lower lip. Alec's hands slip under the waist of his sweats and Magnus pulls back startled.
Alec looks at him confused, and Magnus shushes the question he's about to ask. "Sweet we're in the Library, I think we should take this back to your room."
Alec raised his brow, "No one is going to bother us." He said it assuredly, matter of factly.
Magnus wrinkled his brow, "this is a public space darling and..."
Alec laughed, "no this is my space. I promise you Magnus, no one is going to come in here."
Shrugging his shoulders a little bit, he let Alec lean back in, but pushed him away before he could continue where they'd left off. Concern made him cup Alec's cheeks in his hands, "are you…..are you only doing this to hide from your grief? Because…"
Alec moved his hands away and pressed in close for a soft kiss, the light from the stained glass flickering over his face. "I want to make you feel good Magnus, I need to make you feel good, because I just spent the last two hours identifying the bodies of my people and I just need to feel something that's not that." He looked down and then looked back up at Magnus fiercely, his eyes burning, " I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too, so much that it does not seem broken at all. "
Magnus felt tears welling up in his eyes at the quote from the book, "Oh Alexander, come here and let me love you."
Alec smiled tremulously, but buried himself in Magnus.
Magnus wrapped both of his arms around Alec's neck and pushed his face into his neck. "Shh, it's okay my darling, it's going to be okay. I'll make sure of it."