The Look That Gave It Away

Summary: This is based on the last episode, and tells the story of how Gwen works the truth out about Merlin. It also involves her relationship with Gaius and Arthur and how she comes to terms with it all.

There were days when she questioned, why Merlin? What was it about this young man, whom she placed her trust in so explicitly? She knew his fighting skills were not top rate, in fact at times it scared her reckless, the idea of him taking on some bandit. Yet time after time, she knew her old friend would bring her husband back in one piece to her. Not for one second did she doubt that. There had to be a reason, why it was so?

At first such questions did not bother her in truth, she realised she had taken it for granted, as they all had. Yet as she paced up and down waiting for news about Arthur, the theory suddenly raised its head once more.

She thought again about seeing the sorcerer at Camlann. The man on the hill, who had weaved such mighty power onto the battle down below. It had scared her to begin with, yet as Gaius had joined her watching the flashes of lightning exploding from his staff; she realised Gaius had no such fear as he watched the spectacle. In fact he had watched the scene with wonder in his eyes, pride in his voice.

Gwen realised then that Gaius had known him. But when she had asked who he was, he had elusively answered, "Someone truly remarkable." But there was something about his eyes that had made an impression on Gwen that fearful afternoon.

It was not immediately afterwards that she made the connection, it was some days later. For days she had paced Camelot awaiting news, telling herself and everyone else that Arthur would be back. She knew he was alive as she could feel it inside of her. It was the one thing that had kept her going despite everything.

Then out of the blue Gaius arrived back at Camelot. When she greeted Gaius for a second her spirits soared. When Gaius told her about Arthur's fatal condition and handed her the royal seal, she knew the truth, the possibility that Arthur would not return again.

When being forced to face the reality, something deep inside of her collapsed, leaving her feeling panic-stricken no longer knowing what to do. As she took in the news of Merlin taking Arthur to a place where he maybe cured, she kicked in automatically demanding the Knights be made ready to accompany them. To her surprise Gaius had cautioned against it.

"You must trust in Merlin." Gaius had cried out abruptly, leaving Gwen shocked. It was not so much what he'd said, as how he'd said it. His tone was brittle, almost angry like as if he could not believe she would doubt him. But by this time Gwen's emotion was rushing through her like water through a pipe. The words tumbled out of her in a flood, tears entering her eyes.

"How can one man be stronger than an army?" she asked, challenging Gaius to be open with her.

Gaius had explained that one man stood a better chance of getting through the Saxons. Gwen with her emotion still holding sway barely understood his argument. In the end Gwen accepted his word, and put her trust in her friend once again to bring Arthur and himself home.

In the days that followed she had come back to that conversation with Gaius. There was something about it that made her question it. She had long known that Gaius was a man with secrets, who did not always tell them everything. In the years since she'd been Queen she had spent much time with him, as he explained what Camelot had been like before Uther, began the purge against magic users. She knew he retained a connection with it, though she would never put him under pressure to admit such a thing.

She had always trusted Gaius without hesitation. She had also been forced to face the world of magic as both a monarch and as a person. It had not always treated her well, she had lost her father and brother to it, and she too had suffered at its hands.

Yet the more she had spoken to Gaius the more she realised that magic in itself was not evil in its entirety. To her if seemed to be determined on how an individual used it. She could see the sorcerer on the hill was the proof about that. Morgana also had magic but she did not use it in a positive way. She then understood the only difference between these two magic users was how they each used it. Did that not prove that it was not magic itself that was evil?

It was then that she relived the moment again, and suddenly the connection was made. She remembered the look on Gaius's face as he watched the sorcerer, the wonder in his voice, the pride, the look that he only had whenever he spoke about Merlin.

"How is one man stronger than an army?" she had asked him, and suddenly she had her answer. The answer that had blazed from Gaius's lips to her question could only be about one person. The young man who had been by their side through it all, but none of them had noticed his secret. Instead it was just their friend Merlin, the person who was always well, just there.

She closed her eyes and wondered for a second how it had not occurred to her before. It was Merlin, it had to be. She took herself back to the day she had met him all those years ago, the day the gawky boy had stood up to the arrogant Prince who had become her beloved husband. She knew then as she shook his hand in the stocks that she had met someone who was a bit special.

Suddenly everything made sense, the times Camelot had come under attack, Merlin had been there helping his friends, keeping them safe from harm. She realised she herself had been staring at the truth, all along without realising it. What was the creature called, the Lamia she could never understand why it had taken such a dislike to Merlin, but it had. Maybe that was the first day she began working it all out. It had taken a look from an old friend to confirm it, but now she knew.

For the first time in days she relaxed, for she knew now that Merlin would do his best to bring Arthur home. When they made it back she would thank him for everything. But for now she would do the next best thing, and tell his protector, and let him know that she was sharing his worry.

By the time Gaius had left her after she'd forced the truth from him, her mind turned to happier thoughts. She knew what ever happened now that Arthur was in the best possible hands; her boys would somehow get through whatever they needed too. So Queen Guinevere continued to wait to welcome them home again.