RELUCTANT HEROES

Chapter One

Summary: Hermione is struggling to keep herself together as she returns to Hogwarts for a one-off eighth year. When those she's closest to turn their backs on her, she finds comfort and friendship in the most unexpected places. The protectiveness of her new friends is certainly rather shocking, but nowhere near as much as the sudden romance blossoming between her and a blonde haired wizard.

Author's Note: PLEASE READ! This fiction, and more specifically Hermione's experiences throughout, take a lot of inspiration from my own experiences with anxiety, depression, suicide attempts and PTSD. There will be a lot of sensitive themes throughout this story, ranging from mild to explicit. So, I give you fair warning: proceed with caution.

Pairings/Ships: Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger | Mention of Others

Disclaimer: I do not own, or make a claim to, Harry Potter or any related material. The only thing I own is the premise of this story, and I do not intend to make profit from it.

Warning: Dark and sensitive themes throughout, sexual content and strong language.

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Despite being surrounded by friends, she'd never felt more alone. War changed people, some for the better, and others for the worst. Hermione was still debating on which side of that fence she was standing on. As she sat on the steps leading up to the Astronomy tower, hyperventilating, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd be in this situation if she'd not come back to Hogwarts, if it might have been better just to stay home and let herself heal.

Her year group had been invited back to Hogwarts for a one-off eighth year to allow them to finish their education, which Hermione had instantly accepted. Harry and Ron declined, opting to pursue a career in the Ministry as trainee Aurors. Of course, she'd tried to change their minds and convince them to come back with her, but they weren't having any of it. She wasn't too upset with them, she still had plenty of other friends she could spend time with during the school year, it would just be strange without Harry and Ron. They were her best friends after all, but it was probably best to put some distance between her and Ron. While they'd ended their relationship mutually, it was still hard to process.

Both were convinced it had been the heat of the moment, the war and fear of dying that pushed them together. When it came down to it, in terms of compatibility, they just weren't a good match. It was as simple as that. Regardless, they'd managed to remain good friends, but things were never going to be the same between them, that was certain. Things got easier as the months passed, and both boys even came to wave her off at Platform Nine and Three Quarters. But while Harry gave her a strong embrace, Ron had merely patted her on the shoulder and that was that. So he was still a bit standoffish.

The train-ride to Hogwarts had allowed her to catch up with many familiar faces, which in turn made her feel a bit more at ease about returning to the school without Harry and Ron at her side. They'd survived a war together, so she felt much safer with them around. But as she'd conversed with Neville, Luna and Ginny, she was reassured of the fact that the war was over. Voldemort was gone and nothing could change that, there was no reason for her to be afraid of him. So she'd eagerly looked forward to her first night back at Hogwarts.

But as soon as the doors to the Great Hall opened, it all came flooding back. The rubble, the screaming, the blood, the dead bodies littering the floor. So she ran. Hermione Granger ran away from her problems for the first time in her life. And what made it worse was that no one seemed to notice her absence, not a single one of her friends had come looking for her. They'd seen her leave in a distressed manner, but they were either too afraid to check in on her because they didn't know how to handle what she might say, or they just simply didn't care. Hermione was seriously hoping that it was the former, and not the latter.

"You know, it makes things ten times worse if you don't breathe." A soft voice suddenly stated from the deafening silence. Looking up, still taking in short and sharp breaths, Hermione was rather shocked to see the face of Pansy Parkinson looking up at her from a few steps down, but surprisingly, she wasn't scowling, she was smiling sympathetically.

Before Hermione could have even attempted to form some kind of response, Pansy ascended the stairs and sat down next to Hermione, offering her a piece of chocolate. Her heart clenched in her chest, remembering how Professor Lupin had done something similar when Harry was attacked by a Dementor. She thought of his son, how the poor child would grow up never being able to know what a truly remarkable and selfless man his father was. War didn't just change people, it broke them to their very core.

Hesitantly, Hermione took the piece of chocolate Pansy had offered her and slipped it into her mouth, bottom lip trembling slightly as she tried to get her breathing under control. Her whole body tensed and her brows furrowed in confusion when Pansy grabbed her left hand and squeezed. Sympathetic and concerned was definitely not very Pansy-like.

"I get them too. Just take a breath in when I squeeze your hand, alright?" Pansy smiled before proceeding to squeeze Hermione's hand again. After a few moments, she nodded and proceeded to take a breath in every time Pansy squeezed her hand. Five minutes later, her breathing was back to its normal rate and her trembling was almost non-existent. Throughout the entire process, Pansy had been as silent as the grave but was giving her reassurance with every squeeze, shooting Hermione an encouraging smile each time.

Once she'd calmed down, Pansy let go of Hermione's hand and offered her another piece of chocolate, which the brunette was less hesitant to accept the second time around. An awkward silence fell upon the two former rivals until Hermione finally decided to break it.

"Why did you help me? Last I checked, you hated my guts." Hermione scoffed.

"Because I saw the look in your eyes before you ran off. None of your so-called friends moved an inch to try and help you, even though they saw you leave. They just shrugged their shoulders and went to their seats. I helped because I know what it feels like to have that weight crushing down on your chest with so much force you can't breathe and to hear their screams playing over and over in your mind. It's better to go through it with someone rather than alone. We may not see eye to eye, Granger, but I'm not heartless. And I don't hate you." Pansy explained, leaving Hermione temporarily too stunned for words.

Before the battle, all the Slytherins had been sent to the dungeon by Professor McGonagall. Obviously Malfoy, Zabini and Crabbe had managed to sneak away, given their little battle in the Room of Requirement, but some had eventually left to join the fight against Voldemort. Surprisingly, one of those students had been Pansy herself. Even though it had only been a brief encounter, Hermione had caught sight of Parkinson throwing herself before the wand of Bellatrix Lestrange, saving Luna Lovegood from the Cruciatus Curse and taking the full blow of it herself.

Hermione's opinion of Pansy had changed that day. While she was still cautious of her, she wasn't under the impression the Slytherin was as cruel and selfish as she pretended to be. There was a softer, more compassionate side to her, she just didn't like to show it in fear of looking weak. At least, that was Hermione's hunch. She couldn't say that was definitely the case. All she knew for sure was Pansy Parkinson had helped her of her own free will, and that meant there was a spark of goodness in her, even if it was only a small one.

"Anyway, enough of this emotional bullshit. Shall we head back and have some food? I'm famished." Pansy scoffed, standing up and offering Hermione her hand, who couldn't help but let out an amused scoff herself. There was the Pansy Parkinson she'd grown up with. Taking her hand, Hermione walked back to the Great Hall with Pansy. It was no surprise the odd duo received several confused and concerned looks from several students.

After giving Hermione a third piece of chocolate, Pansy returned to the Slytherin table and Hermione made her way over to her fellow Gryffindors, all of whom were looking at her like she'd just said she wished Voldemort had won the war. The betrayal in their eyes was quite evident, and very frustrating if she was being honest. The war was over, and this was the perfect opportunity to mend bridges and work on house unity. But no, they were all sticking to their biased viewpoints that all Slytherins were evil, unable to change.

"Hermione, what were you doing with Pansy Parkinson? Have you gone insane?! Her Father supported Voldemort, still does, even in death! She can't be trusted!" Ginny hissed, a look of disbelief spreading across her features. Sighing, Hermione picked up her goblet of pumpkin juice and took a quick sip, placing it down after the liquid cooled her throat.

"If you must know, she was helping me get through my panic attack because surprisingly enough, she's more understanding about the impact seeing this room for the first time in months had on me than my own friends do." Hermione stated, with a bit more venom in her voice than she'd intended. But she had every right to be angry. Friends were meant to support one another, were they not? They'd seen her run off, she'd caught a glance of them staring at her as she rounded the corner, but they'd done nothing to try and help.

Pansy, who was basically a stranger to Hermione, had left the comfort of her friends and ventured into the unknown when she decided to help Hermione. A part of Pansy had known what the Golden girl was going through and thought it was best she didn't go through it alone, even if that meant exposing herself to hate from the students of Hogwarts, even her own friends. The look of shock and guilt in Ginny's eyes was all Hermione needed to see in order to know she hadn't thought about it that way.

Yes, everyone was struggling with the war in their own way. Ginny had lost her brother, several friends, but Hermione had lost friends too, she'd lost her parents because she'd felt it would be safer to Obliviate them rather than risk Voldemort finding them and torturing them for information they didn't have. Everyone had lost someone important during the War, but Hermione had been there when Ginny needed a shoulder to cry on about Fred. She'd been there at the funeral to hold Ginny's hand and keep her upright when they left. The minute Hermione needed someone, they weren't there. They took, they didn't give.

"Well I'm sorry that I don't live up to your standards Hermione, but seeing as you've conveniently forgotten, we all were in this room during the battle. It's been hard for all of us. My brother's body was lying right over there but you don't see me breaking down. Maybe you should take an example from the rest of us and grow a fucking pair. No one has time for a drama queen." Ginny spat. The entire Gryffindor table went silent, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Without saying a word, Hermione stood up and marched out of the Great Hall. She could hear the murmurs growing louder behind her, she could feel the tears forming in her eyes but she refused to let them fall until she was far enough away that no one would see or hear her cry. Returning to Hogwarts was meant to take her mind off things, off the bad memories this War had created, but instead it seemed to make things worse.

Ginny was one of her closest friends, one of the few people she could confide in and be honest too. But seeing that look of hatred and disgust in the redhead's eyes, it hurt Hermione in so many ways. Was she really being a drama queen? Was that how people saw her now? A girl has one panic attack and so, therefore, she must be begging for attention? How could Ginny even think that? How did that make sense in her mind?

After a few moments, Hermione came to a stop outside the library. It was subconscious, she hadn't even realised that was where she'd been headed until she finally stopped running. Even she was annoyed with herself at that point, she was so fucking predictable.

Walking inside, she wasn't surprised to see Madame Pince wasn't there. No doubt the woman was having dinner in the Great Hall, where everyone else seemed to be having a good time tonight. Or so it would seem. Tucked away in an alcove was Draco Malfoy, whose head was resting in the palms of his hands, shoulders shaking up and down slightly. Was he...was Draco Malfoy crying? She was definitely invading a private moment.

Stepping back to give him some space, Hermione accidentally knocked into a bookshelf, causing books to tumble off it and slam against the floor loudly. Malfoy's head shot up instantly and his hand went to his wand in a matter of seconds, looking over at the source of the noise as if it was signalling some kind of incoming attack. His eyes were red, but his cheeks didn't appear to be wet. Maybe he'd been having a panic attack too?

"I-I...I'm sorry. I was just trying to….I needed some...I'm sorry. I'll go. Sorry." Hermione stuttered, keeping her gaze on the floor. Even though this was Draco Malfoy, her childhood bully, he was obviously going through something. She was the one in the wrong here, not him. Interrupting his moment of secrecy had been an accident, but she still felt guilty.

"Why are you crying? I thought nothing bothered Hermione Granger." Malfoy asked, one brow rising slightly. A few years ago, he would have been right. Hermione took it all in her stride and never let anything get to her. But she'd been through some traumatic experiences, one of which involved being tortured by his crazy Aunt on the floor in his home. But she had a feeling that was a memory neither of them wanted to relive any time soon. Things got to her a lot more now than they did before. She felt like cracked glass, ready to shatter the moment someone dropped her, spilling everything onto the floor.

She didn't even realise she had been crying, but as she felt a tear roll down her cheek she realised that she couldn't hold it in any longer, subconsciously her body had given in to the need to let it out because she couldn't keep it buried inside without going insane.

"Because her friends are utter twats." Pansy's voice suddenly scoffed from behind them. Twice. That was twice Pansy Parkinson had come to her aid. War really did change people, and it would seem it had changed Pansy for the better. She still had that sassy arrogance to her tone, but her heart was in the right place. She was trying to help, that was a start.

"Tell me something I don't know. Since when are you so...nice, Parkinson? Last I checked you hated Granger." Malfoy shrugged, leaning back in his seat with a rather nonchalant look on his face. For someone who had just had a presumed panic attack, he looked rather relaxed. But Hermione couldn't have been sure that was definitely what had happened. Maybe Malfoy was a silent, tearless type of crier?

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I don't hate her, I never did. You all just assumed that because I'm a Pureblood and she's Muggle-Born. While I may have been born from old fashioned parents, that doesn't mean I inherited their opinions." Pansy sighed, irritation lacing her voice. Muggle-Born. She used the polite term of Hermione's heritage rather than using that awful name she'd been called so many times in her life.

Shrugging once more, Malfoy turned his attention away from the two women and went back to the book that had been resting on the table beneath him. Hermione couldn't deny she was quite surprised by his choice of reading material. The book wasn't open, so the cover was clear to see from her standing position: A Midsummer's Night Dream by William Shakespeare. She wouldn't have pegged Malfoy for a lover of Muggle literature.

She didn't really have much time to think about it, because Pansy was dragging her out of the library towards the eighth year common room McGonagall had created specifically for them, rather than trying to squeeze them into the already packed House Common rooms, ranting about how Ginny was a bitch so Hermione would be better off without her. As much as Hermione wanted to protest, she didn't have the mental energy to debate with Pansy Parkinson. She was exhausted enough already. So she followed the Raven-haired witch, all the while thinking about what other Muggle literature Malfoy might like.