It was a calm day on the starship Enterprise, the calmest day in a while now. The day had brought nothing unusual, just floating through space on their endless journey. It was so peaceful it was almost eerie. Captain Jean-Luc Picard knew that there was something afoot. He wasn't sure if the rest of the crew noticed, but there was a sort of tension in the air. But perhaps the tension had nothing to do with the calmness of the day. Perhaps it had been there since their encounter with the Borg.
Maybe it was his imagination, but he felt as if his crewmates looked at him differently since he had been rescued from the Borg cube. It was as if they knew what his mind was capable of. Picard knew it better than anyone. He had rewatched the footage of himself -no, not him, Locutus- addressing the crew of the Enterprise. Frankly, it chilled him to the bone. But he couldn't stop watching it. Every moment he was off duty, he replayed the footage over and over and over. Obsessively, one might call it, but never to his face.
He could tell that Counsellor Troi knew something was off. She looked at him strangely, her eyes searching. She knew. She knew something was wrong with him. Had been wrong ever since he was rescued from the Borg.
Once he got off duty, he immediately returned to his quarters. He pulled up the footage of Locutus yet again and began to watch it. A frown was on his face as he watched the footage, and it only deepened as it went on.
Suddenly, there was a flash of bright white light. Picard recognized it right away. He said it aloud as the entity appeared:
"Q."
"That's right, it's me!" said Q with a carefree grin. "Ever so adept, Jean-Luc." He looked the same as ever. Of course he did.
"Go away, Q," said Picard, not even bothering to look at him. His eyes were still trained on the footage.
Instead, Q turned the chair Picard was sitting on into a long bench. Q sat down on the bench beside him. "Did you enjoy your day off, Jean-Luc? I made certain that you'd have a day where nothing too fretful is happening. I thought you had earned it, since that business with the Borg. Horrible stuff. I wasn't watching when it happened, but I learned about it not long after. Ah well, at least you and the Enterprise got out in one piece."
"I said, go away, Q," said Picard. He was still staring at the footage. Himself -no, Locutus- on the screen... like it was taunting him...
Of course, Q didn't listen. "Of course, I was horrified once I'd heard," he said. "I even heard you were taken captive by the Borg. How terrible that must have been. But you got through it didn't you- like I said, in one piece. I can't imagine how awful that must have- oh."
He looked over at Picard and saw that Picard's head had dropped, and tears were sliding down his face. The sounds he made were terrible. Whimpering, pathetic. Q couldn't stand it.
"Oh," said Q weakly, not knowing what to do.
After a moment, he scooted over on the bench closer to Picard and wrapped his arm around him. "Jean-Luc..." he began.
"They took everything from me, Q," sobbed Picard. The footage of Locutus was still playing on the screen in front of the two of them. "They took everything. All of my hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, all of my knowledge, everything that made me me, they took it. Gone, just like that. All in their hands. In their hands..."
"Jean-Luc..." Q started again, but he didn't know what to say.
"And how did they use it?" Picard said. "They used it to kill. To destroy. I keep on re-watching this footage-" -he pointed at the screen, where the footage of Locutus had looped once again- "-looking at myself, trying to see through my eyes, recognize me. All I can see is a machine. A cold, heartless machine, cutting down brave men and women and for what? For what?"
"I... I don't know," Q admitted. Those were hard words for him to say. They always were. He liked knowing everything. "Knowing the motive behind the Borg is..."
"Why me?" Picard said. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at Q. "Why me, of all people? Why was I chosen to be Locutus of Borg? What did I possibly do in my life that made me deserve this?"
"I don't think it works that way, Jean-Luc," said Q quietly.
"Then why?" Picard demanded. "Oh God, I feel so empty sometimes, or like everything inside me was scooped out and put back in but not in the right places, so now I'm a man in all the wrong order. I keep thinking about the men and women who died at Wolf 359, and their families, and all the people who will never see them again, and I can't sleep at night, Q! I can't live with myself! I can't go on like this, Q! I can't go on..." And he broke into sobs again.
"You can go on, Jean-Luc," said Q. "You can, and you will. You must." He held Picard close to him, and for a few minutes, it was just silence, the sound of Picard crying wrenching at Q's soul.
"What if I can't?" Picard said when he finally was able to speak.
"You must," said Q again. "If you refuse to go on, the Borg will have won. They'll have succeeded in taking over you."
They were quiet again for many minutes. Then, gently, Q took Picard's hands in his own, and he held them tight. "These hands," Q said, "they aren't the hands of a Borg. They're warm. Human hands. Jean-Luc Picard hands. Good hands. Strong hands."
"It's hard to be strong, Q," whispered Picard.
"I know," said Q. "And I know I can't possibly understand what you've gone through. What you're feeling. But," he said, "I can be here for you." He smiled. "Unless you're going to tell me to go away again?"
"No," said Picard softly, squeezing Q's hands. "You can stay."