TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM
Hello all! I am an avid fan of My Hero Academia, my account will be mostly an angst filled void of worse case scenarios with a handful of characters I enjoy the most. If your not into Hurt/Comfort and angst- turn away now.
I've dealt with a lot of mental illness in my life, there are little parts of me and my own experiences in these stories, I treat the subject with the utmost respect.
Hope you enjoy!
Izuku Midoriya, a blossoming student of achievement at UA, full of promise, of hope...of fear. There was no how to manual on how to handle being the next symbol of peace for the world, and as Deku pulled down on his uniform sleeve to hide the ever growing collection of bandages he had to secretly admit that he felt like he was in trouble.
He was becoming quite terrified of the things he was resorting to.
Deku had started his little cutting habit about three months ago after the first encounter with the league of villains. At first he was sure it would be a one time thing, to punish himself for not doing enough, for being too weak, for not being able to control his quirk.
But it was clear that when he turned to the blade the third time in a week that he had an issue.
"Midoriya." A monotone voice rang throughout the silent room, Deku snapped up from his slouching position at his own desk, "s-sorry sir!"
Mr. Aizawa stared back at the emerald haired boy with a blank, unreadable expression and slowly continued the lesson without attracting too much attention to the obviously sleep deprived, panic ridden student. .
As the class filtered out the door, Aizawa sighed, he knew he wouldn't be able to have a clear mind if he didn't ask, "Midoriya stay back for a second."
Deku froze midway out the door and spun around quickly, nearly crashing into Ochaco, "S-sorry! I'll meet you at the dorms!" His reddened face would have been comical any other time but something was off and Aizawa was thoroughly disturbed because of it.
"Are you ok?"
Midoriya was taken aback by the direct question, "y-yes sir!"
The gloomy teacher crossed his arms, leaning back to sit on his desk as he studied the boy, "your not getting enough rest, how do you expect to perform at your best if you're sleep deprived?"
Deku flinched at the harsh reminder that basically no matter how hard he tried to balance training with All Might after school with his studies he just couldn't take it.
He couldn't take it…
Midoriya's eyes began to shimmer a light film of tears as he looked down, trying to pass it off as nothing. Unfortunately his teacher was a little more perceptive than that.
"Just get more rest...you need it, ok?"
Deku looked up as he heard a strange tone change in the usually monotone voice of his teacher, he was met with a half concerned gaze.
"Yes sir." The life had died from Deku's voice as he gathered his things and left the room, leaving Aizawa to reflect.
The teacher sat still for a while trying to decipher what could be so wrong that one of his usually bubbly students looked so...broken.
He decided he would keep an extra eye on the boy for a while, just to make sure.
...
As Midoriya crashed into the empty boys restroom he couldn't help but let out a frustrated cry as he pulled out a hidden blade from his uniform pocket. He removed the heavy gauze and made three deep lines on his forearm, there were at least 40 cuts littering his arm now, all deep and all reopening as he watched the blood drip down his porcelain skin.
'There are so many...so ugly, I deserve this...I can't even stay awake for a class period.' Deku thought to himself as he re wrapped his arm and exited the stall.
He wiped at his eyes and looked in the mirror, his eyes were hollowed, his face a paler white, his cheeks sunken in. Jesus. No wonder Aizawa looked concerned…
By the time the young hero got to the dorms, his friends were already sitting for dinner, food sounded less and less appetizing as the days that passed. Midoriya was losing weight too fast. He had lost about 15 pounds in the past three months alone.
As he tried to silently pass the dining room and escape to his room a loud Bakugo growled, "Where do you think you're going Deku?! Skipping out on eating again? You're going to be even more weak if you don't eat, you know."
Midoriya was taken aback, was that….concern? Normally the emerald haired boy would be touched but he really couldn't focus right now, because his whole class was now staring at him. He held his hands up in defense, sweat started to roll off of him. "I-I'm just going to go change into a more comfortable outfit! That's all!"
With that Deku all but ran to his room and collided with his bed, burying his red face into the nearest pillow, he didn't stay there for long, knowing the others would get suspicious. So he changed into a light sweater and jogging pants, he could still get away with long sleeves for now, it was about 45 degrees outside most days, although he suffered when he trained.
He'd figure out the rest later.
As Deku headed towards the kitchen a loud laugh was heard from the dining room, "The food is here!"
All Might.
Midoriya instinctively pulled his sleeve down, he was always terrified that the adults would figure out, as if they had x-ray vision and could see the sloppy gauze on Deku's wrists and arms.
All Might put his arms up in welcoming, "Young Midoriya! Please join us!"
All eyes were on him again.
"Y-yes sir!"
As he sat he couldn't help but feel out of place as he began to eat his supper.
After supper was over everyone went their own ways for the night, most of the class went to their rooms to do nightly studies. Leaving Midoriya sitting at the table in a daze.
That's when a strong hand landed on his shoulder, he held that same concerned gaze everyone seemed to have for him nowadays.
All Might took in the features of the slowly crippling boy in front of him. Even with their excessive training he was getting smaller, meeker, and more quiet. This wasn't the boy he decided to give his powers to, something was wrong. "How about we go for a walk?"
Midoiya gulped, "o-ok!"
Next Chapter is soon to come! Leave a comment on what you think! Plus Ultra!