School: Hogwarts Year 2

Theme: Madam Puddifoot - Romance

Special Rule: Envy

Prompts: Romance [genre] (Main); Picnic [event]; Hello, Goodbye - The Beatles [song]

WC: 2347

"You mean it?"

Remus stared into his eyes, and Sirius' breath was ripped away from him as he considered the flecks of gold in Remus' eyes. It seemed unfathomable that he had never noticed it before, and now he couldn't look away.

"Was I not clear enough?" Remus murmured, a shiver rattling up Sirius' spine. Remus laughed, feeling it beneath his hands as they rested on Sirius' hips.

"I think I'd like to hear it again," Sirius replied reflexively, head light, falling back onto his silver tongue even as the ground shifted beneath his feet. He'd thought about this moment countless times over the years, carried it around in his chest like a rock until the guilt had worn away and it became a harmless daydream. They were too different to work, but that hadn't stopped the thoughts from slipping through Sirius' mind.

"So—"

Remus broke off, seeming to fold in on himself like a wilted flower, head dipping for a moment before he straightened back up.

"So," Remus tried again, "Is that a yes?"

Sirius could still feel the warmth of Remus' lips on his, the trembling of his hands as he held Sirius close. He could smell the particular flowery scent of the awful tea Remus loved and see the faint dusting of pale freckles on paler skin. Sirius had loved Remus for years, and yet—with the very thing he had longed for in front of him, waiting for him to say yes—a strange wave of dread rose up in his chest like a tidal wave.

"Yes," Sirius breathed, heart lodged in his throat, threatening to choke him faster than the rising panic.

Remus' grin was wide and bright, the corners of his eyes crinkling. The dread fled as quickly as it had appeared, and Sirius forgot about it, thoughts of panic driven from his mind as Remus pressed his lips to his once again, and again, and again.

⁂

How could he do this to her?

She screamed, but no-one could hear her pain. Nails dug into her scalp, hair ripped from its bindings, as she stormed across the room.

"Why?" she screamed to the silence.

⁂

"Are you alright, mate?"

Sirius jumped, barely keeping his yelp clamped behind his teeth.

"Yeah, mate. I'm fine," he told James, plastering a grin to try and allay his best friend's fears. From the look James gave him—eyebrow raised and almost hidden in his tangled mess of hair, the corner of his mouth pulled down—Sirius guessed he didn't believe him.

James swung him onto the bench easily, his eyes reflexively finding the shock of red hair that denoted Lily Evans and studying her for a brief moment. Her nose was buried in a book— a thick leather bound one that made Sirius' head hurt just from looking at it. She had one piece of toast held carefully in a hand as she utilised the teapot to keep the book upright.

"Anyway, I don't believe you," James told him, pulling the rack of toast towards him to inspect it closely, confirming Sirius' gut instinct.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Deny, deny and deflect.

"Come off it." James dropped a piece onto his own plate and one onto Sirius', turning his careful inspection onto the contents of the marmalade. "I've shared a room with you for five years, I've seen you, well, go all moon-eyed over Moony. And now you should be happy, instead you're acting like someone's strapped a firework to your tail."

Sirius sighed, propping his head up on James' shoulder as he twisted his ring—a family heirloom that his mother hadn't claimed back yet, but she would, sooner rather than later—round and round his finger.

"It feels like I'm being watched," Sirius muttered into James' hair, the other providing both comfort and a shield. He could still feel the weight of eyes on him, skin crawling with the unseen gaze.

"We could go to the library during break and see if there are any charms to help?" James offered after a moment of silence, dragging the marmalade closer with his knife and starting to spread a healthy amount onto his toast, barely jostling Sirius to do so.

Sirius breathed out a long deep sigh, snagging James' piece of toast.

"Not just because Lily Evans will be there too?" he chuckled, taking a bite and watching the colour flare high on James' cheeks.

"I am a complex man. I can do two things at once."

Sirius laughed, loud enough for heads to turn. Everything was going to be okay, it had to be.

⁂

"It's okay," she said, propping her head on her knees. Her mother would be horrified at her unladylike posture, at her manners in front of her beloved, but that didn't matter now.

"I'm not upset, but—"

She breathed deeply, fighting to keep the frown from her face. Slowly she drew herself up to her full height, smoothing out her skirts with quick efficient motions.

"He is completely unsuitable for you to spend time with. I will have to show you that."

She stepped forward and smiled softly.

"And then we will be together again."

⁂

"Am I interrupting?"

Sirius' heart beat faster in his chest, a grin spreading across his face.

"Never," he answered, voice hoarse, and sat up, stretching out his arms to Remus. He grinned—an effortlessly beautiful thing that caused Sirius' heart to knock against his ribs—and pulled off his robes, draping them over a nearby chair. The other boy folded into them like he had been made for it. It took a small amount of effort to pull Remus further onto his lap, the werewolf muffling a yelp into Sirius' neck as his hip knocked against the table. But finally he was there.

Sirius kissed the creases next to Remus' eye, feeling the thin scar that stretched up into Remus' hairline beneath his lips.

"I must have done something wonderful to get you," Sirius murmured, feeling the knot in his chest uncoil slightly.

"Maybe I'm the one who did something wonderful and you're my reward?" Remus countered.

Sirius hugged him closer, the wool of Remus' jumper soft from countless washings beneath his palms. It wasn't a garment Sirius would have been caught dead in—his own Muggle clothes were carefully hidden at James' house—but it suited Remus in a way nothing else would.

"I have done something awful and this—" James' hand wave encompassed the duo "—is my punishment."

Sirius didn't need to see Remus' face, the duo moving in perfect synchronicity. Remus sat up, far taller than Sirius, neck craning to track the movements of Madame Pince as she prowled through the stacks and shelves. A gentle tap to Sirius' wrist, and he was free to flip James off with both hands, the other boy choking with barely muffled laughter.

"I am surprised to find you both here," Remus said, sitting back down onto Sirius' lap. "There's no homework due today or tomorrow, so I can't think why you would be here."

"I am hurt and offended that you think I wouldn't spend time in the library," Sirius said, pressing one hand to his heart in mock hurt. He was a good actor, had been forced to pretend he was something he wasn't from a very early age. To an outside observer, his hurt would appear genuine. But Remus could read the relaxation in Sirius' free hand, still smoothing over his hip bone, and simply shook his head at him.

"Are you going to give me a good answer James?"

"I can give you an answer?" James said slowly, drawing out every word as he raised his eyebrows at Sirius, waiting for a yes or a no.

"It feels like someone's watching me. All the time," Sirius said.

Remus nodded slowly, wheels in his mind turning.

"I'll get food," Remus said, "It sounds like we'll be here a while."

"But Madam Pince—"

"She likes me a lot better than she likes you," Remus laughed, kissing Sirius quickly, slipping out of his arms even as Sirius tried to pull him closer. "Back soon."

⁂

She moved closer, unable to stay away from him, as helpless as a marionette on a string. What was he doing? Couldn't he see how unsuitable his choice was? How he had brought him nothing but pain?

She was there, almost close enough to touch him but something held her back. This wasn't right, not yet. He still didn't understand properly.

It was okay, understandable. She could forgive him those small confusions—it had been a very long time. She just had to wait a little bit longer.

⁂

"Are you okay?"

Sirius blinked, imprints of charm diagrams dancing in front of his eyes. His head ached, throbbing pulses of pain from somewhere just behind his eyes. A shiver rattled down his spine, another cold wave of dread following on its heels.

"Better now you're here," he said instead, flashing a grin at Remus.

"Sap," James muttered, half propping his head up on one hand.

"Like you're one to talk," Sirius shot back as Remus slid into the seat next to him, carefully placing the picnic basket on the table with only the faintest tell-tale sound of bottles clinking together.

"Anyway," James began, very deliberately getting up from his seat, "I'm going to go and do something else for a while."

"James!" hissed Remus, cheeks burning scarlet.

James winked, and Remus buried his face in his hands. Sirius could only marvel at the way the redness slipped down Remus' neck before it disappeared beneath the collar of his jumper, barely even registering that James had disappeared into the depths of the library.

"I think he's reading into this a bit much," Remus said, voice muffled behind his hands.

"Oh?"

Remus glared at Sirius' mischievous grin. Sirius ignored it—as he had been ignoring Remus' warnings for five years now and felt no inclination to start obeying every command any time soon—and shifted closer, until they were nose to nose.

The full moon was close, Sirius realised with a start. Remus looked tired, grey around the edges, like parchment that had been erased too many times. For the first time, Sirius was struck by the awful realisation that Remus could die. He was a werewolf, and Sirius had borne witness to numerous transformations—just in the time that it was safe for them to be present—where Remus stitched himself back together at the end, barely holding onto consciousness in time for Madam Pomfrey's swift arrival.

"What are you thinking about?"

Remus' words were soft, almost lost in the hush of the library. The world outside of this enclosed nook seemed so far away.

"It's nothing," Sirius said. The words were trapped just behind his teeth—an endless stream of I'm worried I'm losing my mind, I'm scared I'll lose you, What am I going to do—but he couldn't let them escape. Not yet.

"If you're sure."

Sirius loved Remus, impossibly, even more in that moment as he let the matter drop, and turned his attention back to the picnic.

Remus easily cleared the space between them, grumbling out a quiet sigh of disapproval as he retrieved a book from beneath Sirius' elbow, smoothing out the small crease in the page. From the basket he pulled a checkered picnic cloth, two bottles of Butterbeer—although Sirius saw the telltale caps of Firewhiskey lurking in its depths—sandwiches, pastries, fruit and one piece of cake and a bowl of ice cream.

"I think the house elves got carried away," Remus worried, rubbing his sleeves between his fingers.

"Is this a date?"

The blush was back, red and delicious. For all that Remus had kissed Sirius first—and stolen his breath and heart away in one fell swoop—he was remarkably easy to tease.

"It could be?" Remus answered, soft and hesitant, "It's not what I had planned but—"

Sirius cut him off with a kiss, teeth knocking together—painful, but only for a moment.

"It's perfect."

"If you say so," Remus replied with a sigh, lightly bumping his nose against Sirius—an echo of his actions beneath the full moon—before dodging his attempt at another kiss, snagging his favourite type of sandwich before Sirius could press the matter further.

⁂

There!

Her hands curled into triumphant fists at her sides. The other creature—not a man, she could see the disgusting taint of gold in his eyes—hurt him, rejected his love. Love that should be hers only!

They were wrong for each other, surely he could see that now. She moved forward, ready to claim her prize.

⁂

"I got you something."

"Oh?" Sirius asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. The cold dread was back, fingers wrapping around his heart like a vice. He knew now the terror that had plagued him over the past week was nothing more than a gentle rainstorm compared to the monsoon unleashed upon him.

"You've been off the past week. I may not be as attached to you as James is, but I do have eyes." Remus flushed again, and despite the fear, Sirius smiled. "Here."

The necklace was cold and surprisingly heavy for its size. Siruius turned it in his hands, tracing the curving path of the triangle as it looped in on itself, round and round.

"A triquetra," Remus explained, head tipped to one side, "It's both a promise and for protection. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'd like you by my side."

"Remus," Sirius said softly, "I'll always be with you."

⁂

No!

No!

She was so close! She could feel the warmth of his skin mere inches away from her palms, and yet she could draw no closer. His words lanced through her like a knife. He picked, he chose that thing over her.

"You'll pay for this," she whispered, voice dripping with venom.

They would both pay for that slight.

She was dead after all, she could wait.