A/N: This is the only thing I could think of when I saw Mac in that VIP room in 8x02. Don't tell me I'm the only one.

"You're getting married in two days…

Stare at the fucking ceiling if you want.

Or think about one of your boyfriends, I don't care."

.

Loric stepped away from the bar and took Monica's hand because he was expected to take her hand. He followed her back to the VIP rooms like a good boy, leaving his mother and all his father's associates to watch. It wouldn't change any of their minds about him—word had spread too fast about his proclivities—but that was the thing about appearances. They needed to be kept up regardless of whether anyone believed them or not. Sometimes if you lied long enough, and consistently enough, people ended up taking it for the truth even when they knew better.

Monica wasn't stupid, though. None of the women here were, despite how they portrayed themselves to the men who paid for their company. They were smart, they were resourceful, and they always, always kept their eyes and ears open.

You're different from your father. Monica had waited six months after he took over the club before presenting him with her judgment on his character. It was near dawn, and she had just finished washing blood off her hands. A client of one of the new girls had gotten too rough, and busted up her face so bad the girl had needed stitches. Loric had been the one to provide his car for her use—faster and more reliable than an ambulance. And he'd made sure the client had left with a few broken bones as reminders of how he ran things in his establishment.

Your father would've fired her immediately. Monica paused, taking her time to study his face in the mirror above the sink. And he would've fucked me by week two.

Loric didn't know how to tell her that the latter outcome was never going to happen, but he doubted that mattered: the truth was waiting there, hanging in the air between them. As to the former point, he'd promised the girl her job back once her face healed, and given her some extra cash in the meantime. It wasn't much, but she'd still cried and hugged him when he'd offered. Her overwrought affection made him feel cheap and lazy, but he didn't miss the looks of approval from the other women. At least he could do one thing right, even if it wasn't to his father's standards.

They reached their VIP room quicker than Loric would've liked. Despite the fact that he was sure Monica suspected what he was, they had never spoken of it in clear terms. And he didn't know how to navigate that conversation now, at the last minute, with all these cameras on him. He wouldn't put it past his mother to go to security and demand to watch the tape just to be sure he got the job done. Maybe she'd bring in some of his father's business associates, just to show them once and for all that the heir to their family name was indeed capable of fucking a woman.

If it were any other day, he might have managed to do it. He could think of other men, like his mother had suggested, and work his way through it. But he could still see the fury in his father's face, still hear the sound of that gunshot ringing in his ears, still taste the word Yeah leaving his lips, over and over again, as he signed on to Rudi's murder.

This man attacked my son in my own house. Didn't he? Didn't he, Loric?

He hadn't even been brave enough to refute the lie. Hadn't even managed the smallest defiance by staying silent. No, instead he'd simply bowed to his father's will and, as always, took the easy way out. He might as well have shot Rudi himself.

And now Monica was opening the door and, meek as ever, Loric was following in behind her. He kept his eyes to the floor, wondering if she'd slept with other men like him before. Maybe she knew tricks to keep him going. Things to say, things to do, to make it faster for both of them. If there was one thing he was certain of right now, it was that she didn't want to be here anymore than he did. They just had to get through this together and be done with it.

When he finally managed to look up and face her, he didn't understand what he was seeing. There Monica was, scantily clad as ever, standing in the middle of the room. And there, rising to his feet just behind her, was a man Loric had never seen before.

He was older—though not quite old, despite the mess of short gray curls Loric could see on top of his head. His face was too pale but he was handsome anyway, with a short stubble that somehow managed to make him look appealing instead of run-down. And he was fit; Loric could see the prominent muscles in his chest and arms beneath the dark t-shirt he wore. Dumbly, he wondered how in the world Monica had guessed his type so precisely.

"What is this?" he asked. He hated how scared his voice sounded even to his own ears.

Monica shrugged. "You've always been good to us, ever since you took over. I figured you deserved a better send-off than me or any of the other girls could give you." She leaned close as she passed by, whispering in his ear, "He's been in the club all night, but he never took his eyes off you."

Loric blinked, his mind hazy as he tried to catch up. He felt the inexplicable urge to hug Monica, though thankfully his body was slow to move. He just stood, staring.

"Don't worry," she added, tipping her chin at the camera as she stepped away, "we disabled that one."

As the shock started to wear off, Loric felt a flood of relief. "Thanks," he called out, but she'd already pulled the door shut behind her. It locked from the inside with a quiet click.

He and the man stared at each other, and as the seconds ticked by, Loric's mind spun, trying to play out exactly what was going to happen here. Despite watching so many women take off their clothes for men, he wasn't quite sure how it worked when the roles were reversed. Was this handsome foreigner going to dance for him, stripping off his clothes as he went? The thought was absurd to imagine, and yet at the same time, oddly alluring. What would he take off first—his jeans? His shirt?

The spark of interest in his mind was immediately chased with dread—all he could think of was Rudi's body, shirtless and crumpled on the floor. The gunshot, the blood, the party continuing on afterward as if nothing had happened…

It was enough to make Loric feel dizzy. He stumbled a few steps forward and sank onto the nearest couch. In his periphery, he sensed the man sitting down too, but Loric shut his eyes, blocking him out. He ducked his head down between his knees, locking his fingers behind his neck as he tried and failed to regulate his breathing.

It hadn't been much between him and Rudi, but it had been more than Loric had ever had before. There had been others—drunken kisses here, stolen moments in bathrooms there—but nothing meaningful. With Rudi, it was different. He'd been just a bodyguard first, but then they'd become something like friends, and then after that… Loric could still remember the first time he'd kissed Rudi—so scared to do it, but still more scared not to, and be left wondering and waiting yet another day.

Loric had been careful to keep boundaries between them, and Rudi even more so. He knew what he was risking, messing around with the boss's son—messing around with any son—and so he'd always done his best to keep a weather eye. And still he had died for it, and his body had been dumped only God knew where, while here Loric was, being handed a treat for toeing the family line.

It was enough to make him want to throw up, and perhaps he looked ready to, for the man laid a hand on his back, and spoke in low murmur: "Easy there, mate. Deep breaths."

Loric's eyes shot open, staring hard at the floor as he puzzled over the accent. He'd assumed the man was American. There were always Americans running around his country, either acting like they owned it or trying to disappear into its depths as if there were no consequences here. He didn't meet many Brits, not here, though he had always liked the accent whenever he'd heard it abroad.

He knew it wasn't good that an Englishman was here now, tonight of all nights, but he made a decision—just like he'd made a decision earlier in the afternoon—to simply surrender to the reality in front of him. What did it matter who this man was, and what his agenda might be? He was offering himself up, and for once Loric wasn't going to bother thinking twice about taking what he wanted. If he was going to be forced to live a lie with some woman for the rest of his life, he was at least going to make the most of one last, truthful night.

The man started, shrinking back in surprise when Loric kissed him, but Loric didn't let up. The man tried to draw away, but Loric just kissed him harder, trapping the man's face between his two hands and holding on tight as their lips crashed together. He pressed his thumbs so hard against the man's cheeks he could feel the sharp press of bone beneath, but he didn't care what pain he might be causing. Exhilaration sped through Loric's body, fueling his want as he crushed his mouth against the man's again and again. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this strong, this powerful. He never wanted the feeling to end.

He let up only when he needed breath, and even then he only broke the kiss; he did not let go of the man's face. They stared hard at one another, their faces just inches apart as they breathed loudly through their mouths, trying to make up for lost air.

"You are here for me, yes?"

Loric waited for an answering nod.

"Good. Then be here for me."

The man didn't flinch again after that.

Loric helped him out of his shirt, tossing it aside like the obstacle it was. He wasn't prepared for what lay beneath. He swore under his breath as he stared at the man's perfectly formed torso, not knowing if he was cursing the man in front him or Monica for bringing him or whatever god had made Loric this way. What was it about men like this? With their prominent chests and their sculpted abdomens and their overly muscled arms—they were perfect. Loric couldn't help himself.

And now, he didn't have to.

With one hand, he pushed the man back on the sofa, his eyes greedily raking down his body, watching the muscles ripple as he moved. He pressed a palm to the man's abdomen, and immediately he could feel the strength there—not just at the surface, but far beneath. The firm definition that so entranced him was not simply for vanity; it was from work. Hard work. And there was no bravado in the way the man stared up at him, gauging his reaction. He wasn't looking for praise; he just lay there waiting for more, as if he'd been tailor-made with Loric in mind.

"What do you want?"

The man's voice was slightly hoarse, and as it broke on the last word, Loric felt a spark ignite somewhere deep in his stomach. This time he shoved away Rudi's ghost and let that spark catch.

"I want to taste every inch of you."

It felt like the first honest thing he'd said in years, and he didn't hesitate to act on it. He bent his head down to the man's abdomen and kissed a trail from his navel up to his chest. He teased his fingertips against the man's nipples, feeling a flash of satisfaction as they hardened instantly. He looked up and caught the man's eye with a smirk. He was watching transfixed, craning his neck to see better.

Loric took pity on him and moved forward, until he was towering over the man, their faces only inches apart. He took his time staring, memorizing the features in front of him. He knew this would only be one time, and he needed new memories, new sensations, in order to forget everything that had happened with Rudi.

The man was even more handsome at close range, if that were possible. And absurdly, even the way he smelled was sexy. It was a mix of sweat and smoke and something like gasoline—equally repellant and intoxicating.

Loric breathed in deep and held himself steady as he watched the man. He lay half on top of him, keeping himself propped up by his forearms, which framed either side of the man's face. It was strange, he realized belatedly, that he was doing this sober. He didn't think he'd ever touched a man before without being at least halfway to drunk, if not all the way blacked out. He'd always needed that courage. That excuse.

But this man knew the score. This man was here for him alone, and so no pretense was needed.

They looked at one another for a silent moment more, and then the man reached out a careful hand and, as if a wrong move might trigger an explosion, he gently brushed Loric's hair back, out of his eyes.

"God, you're beautiful."

Loric shook his head, tossing the words and the hand away. "I do not require compliments from you."

Rudi had been full of compliments. About Loric's eyes, his skin, his hair… Always his hair. So soft, he used to whisper, sometimes in need and other times in praise. Loric could still remember being on his knees and reveling in the way Rudi's hands, usually so rough, became especially gentle as they sifted through his hair, touching him as if he were fragile. As if he were something that must be treated with the utmost care at all times.

Loric shook his head at the memory, pushing back the tide of fury and grief that threatened to overwhelm him. He blinked hard to clear his eyes. He could not lose control, not now.

"Would you prefer I stayed silent then?"

Loric glanced down, catching the man's eye and realizing it was an honest question. They could carry this out without saying a single word to each other, if he so wished. All he had to do was say so.

But he'd had enough of silence.

"No," he told the man. Silence would kill him. He needed a distraction, he needed it now, and he needed it constantly. "I don't want silence from you. I… I want to hear you. I want to hear everything—every groan, every curse, every whisper…" He leaned closer, close enough that their noses almost touched. "When I am inside you, I want you to tell me exactly how good you feel."

The man shuddered, involuntarily. Loric could tell because the man defiantly kept eye contact even while his body trembled. Loric smiled.

"Just like that," he praised softly. "Let me see how much you want me. Don't try to hide it. And tell me, now. What do you want?"

"I want…" The man licked his lips, fighting for words as his eyes roamed over Loric's face. "There are so many things I want."

Loric smirked, reaching out a hand to cup the back of the man's head. He groaned, arching his back when Loric took ahold of his curls and pulled.

"We don't have much time, so let's start with the simplest. Do you want me to fuck you?"

The man was breathless. "Yes."

"How?" Loric pressed, leaning closer. He could feel himself getting high off of this—this man, this situation, this power he held over him. The thrill it gave him was more potent than any drink or any drug he'd ever tried. He was starting to understand why his father liked to have everyone under his thumb all the time. "How do you want me to fuck you? Where do you want me? Hm?" He drew his tongue against the shell of the man's ear, whispering, "I can't decide what I want to see more, your mouth or your ass full of me."

"Don't imagine we have time for both." The man sounded almost rueful.

Loric might've laughed if he weren't so turned on. He slipped a hand down the man's chest, and slid below his waistband. He was half-hard already and Loric was impressed by his girth. It made him wish they had more time, more privacy. But he knew alarm bells would sound if he stayed too long here. His mother was expecting this to be finished quickly. He tightened his hold on the man's cock and stroked him to full hardness in just a few moments.

"Fuck, mate," the man whispered, breathing hard out of his nose as he pushed his hips up into Loric's touch. "Your hands…"

Loric smirked. This was not the first time a man had been undone by his long fingers alone. "Don't tell me you're going to finish already?"

The man huffed out a breath, trying to laugh despite it all. "I'm not that easy."

"Good, we haven't even started."

The man gave off a little huff of disapproval when Loric took his hand away, but he soon sighed when he saw Loric reaching for the button of his jeans. He lifted his hips, and Loric yanked them off. As he tossed them aside, Loric got to his feet. Reaching behind his back, he pulled his shirt over his head, and then dropped his hands to his own pants.

"Wait."

Loric glanced up at the sound of the man's voice. He was sitting up down, facing Loric.

"Come here." The words ran together in his accent—C'mere. Loric's feet moved without thinking.

"I want to taste you, too," the man whispered, and though Loric opened his mouth to protest—they really did not have time—the man was already placing kisses along the stretch of skin above his waistband and Loric didn't have the heart to tell him to stop. He knew he was courting disaster by drawing this out, but he had no means by which to control himself.

Every kiss the man pressed against his skin made his stomach ripple with barely suppressed desire. It should be embarrassing, how hard he was already, but he couldn't find it in his head to care if this man thought less of him for it. All he could do was fist his hands at his sides, digging his fingernails into his palms to keep himself in check.

As he kissed a path along the lower edge of Loric's stomach, the man lifted his hands, skimming them over Loric's thighs. His cock twitched in his pants, seeking more. The man's fingers were nearing his zipper. He undid the button, drew down the zipper, and then with a sharp tug, pulled Loric's pants halfway down his legs.

Loric breathed hard out of his mouth, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared straight down at the show before him. Just a few more seconds, and that man's mouth would be on him. Just a few more seconds and—

"Shit."

Loric threw his head back, and then just as quickly forced it forward again. The man hadn't bothered to pull down his boxer briefs, and was instead mouthing him above the fabric. It was desperate and dirty and he found himself wishing the cameras were running after all, just so he could play this back for himself during all the lonely nights to come.

"Good Lord," Loric groaned. "Look at you. Can't even get me naked first, you want it so much."

The man's tongue had found the head of his cock, and from the way he pressed and probed so insistently, Loric knew the man could taste his precum through the cloth. Watching how earnestly the man took to his task made Loric dizzy all over again. But just as he started to feel unsteady, one of the man's hands rose to his backside, grabbing at his ass and coincidentally helping to steady him. As Loric found his footing again, his hips moved forward without his say-so, as they so often did, thrusting towards the warm, wet heat in front of him.

Easy, Lore, Rudi used to say, shoving him away with a smirk whenever he lost his head. You'll choke me, you maniac. Then where will you be, hm? You're not likely to find another bodyguard with my qualifications.

He laughed aloud at the memory, unable to feel anything apart from pleasure in this moment. He reached a hand out, brushing his fingers through the man's curls. With his other hand, Loric reached for his waistband and shoved it down far enough for his cock to burst free. The man immediately bent forward to take it in, but Loric held him at bay by the hair. His too-short, too-gray hair. The man lifted his gaze, confusion in his brown eyes.

"Enough," Loric muttered through gritted teeth, shoving the man back onto the couch before finishing kicking off his pants and underwear. The man didn't protest or ask why, and Loric was grateful for the deference. He didn't know how to explain these mood swings of his—one moment he wanted everything, the next, nothing. All he knew for certain was that despite all the pain, there were still some memories of Rudi he needed to keep, and not let others overwrite.

Sex had come quickly to them, after those first few stolen kisses. It had been fast and scared and rough and, at the beginning, it hadn't meant anything. He'd fucked plenty of strange men, always keeping an eye and an ear out to see if anyone was near enough to see or to hear, and for a few weeks, Rudi wasn't anything different than all the others. But spending every waking moment of every day with someone, the way he did with Rudi, changed things. There was no way they couldn't have become close, given that Loric was Rudi's charge, and given what they did together when they were alone.

Slowly, the sex became softer, more personal. Whenever they were around others, they started stealing surreptitious touches instead of just glances. And sometimes, when they were alone, they tried trusting each other in new and different ways.

Before Rudi, Loric had never lowered himself to taking a man into his mouth. He'd had offers, opportunities, and even threats, but he'd never let it happen. It had always seemed too intimate; there was too much eye contact and not enough room to separate between the act itself and who you were doing it with. That had mattered before. Keeping distance from his partners meant keeping himself safe. And despite how much he tried to ignore his father's influence, there was always that voice in the back of Loric's head insisting that Demachi men took what they wanted. They didn't give. They didn't share. They certainly didn't open their mouths and drop to their knees like whores.

But then there was Rudi. Keeping distance didn't matter with Rudi, for he was too close already, and staying anonymous was impossible. The more time Loric spent with him, the closer he wanted to be the next time. Every moment they shared was stolen, he knew that, and he didn't want to let a single one go to waste. He wanted them to mean more to each other than all the others that came before, and so he began trying different things.

It hadn't taken him long to learn just what Rudi liked, and just the way he liked it. Rudi, in turn, learned what Loric liked. He stroked his hair and caressed his cheeks and whispered sweet words and filthy words, depending on what Loric wanted to hear. Always, he told him how good he was. Always, he kissed him afterward and held him close.

Loric would never be able to do any of that with Rudi again, and he did not want this stranger to invite comparisons, no matter how good he was with his tongue. Raking his hair out of his face, Loric stepped to the side and reached into the drawer of the little table in the corner. He grabbed a condom and an unopened bottle of lube. He tossed the bottle at the man, letting him warm it, while he readied the condom.

When he finished and looked back up, the man was already busy fingering himself.

"You're eager," Loric commented, and the man's pink face went even pinker.

"Just thought I'd… I mean—sorry, but—you said we didn't have much time…"

Loric couldn't help but smile as he stuttered through explanations. Underneath all the muscle and the sexiness, the man could be awkward, and oddly cute when caught off guard. Strange mix.

"I don't mind," Loric admitted, taking a seat next to the man. "Keep going," he instructed, and after a second of hesitation, the man continued. Loric watched as he worked himself open. The man's face twisted every once in a while, though whether it was from discomfort or pleasure, Loric didn't know him well enough to tell.

After a few moments more, Loric cleared his throat. "Although," he added softly, as if the thought had just occurred to him, "I do remember you saying something about my hands…"

The man choked on a breath, and Loric grinned, tossing aside feigned composure as he shoved the man onto his back and knelt over him.

"Oh, Christ," the man whispered, straining his neck to watch as Loric pushed the man's legs up and out of the way, his body filling the empty space between them. "Don't tease me, mate, just fuck me already, plea—"

His voice broke off with a sharp cry as Loric slid two long fingers into the man's ass. He swore at the intrusion, arching his back on instinct, but the next moment he relaxed, and shifted closer. When Loric drew his fingers out, the man nearly whined, and stretched forward for more. Loric added a third when he could, and by then the man was thrashing, twisting his head this way and that, his cock leaking between them.

Finally, when it was clear he'd had enough, Loric removed his fingers. He wiped them on the side of the man's calf, knowing he was too far gone to care or complain. Then he took his cock in hand and shoved himself inside.

The man bellowed wordlessly, his body jerking at the intrusion, and Loric watched his face go red as he clamped his teeth together, trying his best to hold it together.

"What did I tell you?" Loric muttered, smacking the man's ass. "Don't try to hide it."

When he withdrew and thrust back in, he was rewarded with a loud curse, and he smiled.

"Good, hm?" he panted, leaning forward over the man's torso as he slid home once more. "Tell me."

"So good," the man gasped, one hand gripping his own hair as the other reached out and curled around the back of Loric's neck. "You feel so fucking good… Your cock, I... Christ, you're perfect," he grunted, and Loric snickered to himself as the man lifted his hips, signalling for more in his delirium of pleasure.

Loric didn't refuse him. He thrust harder and deeper, pushing them both further and further to the edge each time. Within minutes, the man was so overwhelmed he couldn't even string two words together, but it didn't matter by that point. Loric could feel his own orgasm growing in him, and there was no stopping it. He did his best, though, slamming mercilly into the man's ass, trying to force him to come first. Every second or two the man's hand jerked towards his cock and then just as quickly jerked away, as if he were trying to obey some unspoken rule of Loric's. It was gratifying to watch the lengths the man would go to keep himself disciplined, but Loric knew they were both past playing games. This needed to end.

"Touch yourself," Loric grunted. His thrusts were becoming shorter and shallower; he couldn't keep up his earlier pace. Through the haze of sex and the promise of oblivion so close at hand, the man's eyes met his.

"Go on," Loric continued, knowing he was waiting for permission. "Do it for me. I want to watch you come all over yourself like the desperate whore you are."

Never looking away from Loric's face, the man took his cock in hand and began stroking. He moved quickly, frantically, the concentration in his face contorting his features in the most wicked way. Loric leaned closer with each thrust, wanting to see more, wanting to be watching the moment it happened—

The man came with a gasp, the sound choking in his throat as he fell back, spent, as his own come covered his hand and stomach. Loric wasn't far behind; just a few more thrusts, one last deep push, and then he, too, exploded into nothingness.

The man seized, moaning as he felt Loric come inside him, and Loric barely stopped himself from collapsing on top of the man's slick and sweaty chest. He held himself up with one arm, elbow locked in place, and let his head hang down as he fought for breath. He didn't have the right words to explain how good that had felt, and he doubted he ever would. He didn't try for an explanation—he just let his mind drift, floating out on a sea of pleasure.

He was still lost, mind roaming free, when he felt a warm weight rising to hold his cheek, tilting his face to the side. His eyes fluttered open, but he could barely focus. There was the sound of something shifting beneath him, and then thankful lips were on his, and stubble was scratching his chin, and his hair was being brushed aside as a voice whispered in his ear.

"Gorgeous."

If he shut his eyes, it could be Rudi. And so he shut them.

It was Rudi, wasn't it? The gentle touch, the scrape of an unkempt beard, the whispered praise that was saved for Loric and Loric alone. It was Rudi, right here, right now, still with him, the two of them hiding away together just like they had so many times in the past. Just like nothing had happened.

"You're so bloody gorgeous."

The fantasy shattered and Loric bit down on his tongue so hard he nearly split it into pieces. He forced his eyes open, knowing that if he kept them closed he'd start to weep.

The man was still beneath him, his smile hazy and sated, his brown eyes warm as he stared upward. Everything from his hand on Loric's cheek to the drunk look on his face beckoned welcome. Stay a minute, they seemed to say.

Loric tore himself away as quickly as he could. The man's hand fell with a smack back down onto his own chest, and before he could say a word, Loric had slipped out of him, stripping himself of the condom and tossing it into the trash in the corner of the room. He went about gathering his clothes, keeping his back to the man as he pulled them on piece by piece. After a few seconds he heard the man get up with a groan and follow suit. They did not speak as they put themselves back together.

Finally, they were dressed and standing a few feet apart again, barely any less strangers now than they had been when Loric first walked in. How long ago had that been? It felt like an eternity. Loric felt he should say something—express some form of gratitude—but nothing came to mind. All he could think of was Rudi. Loric wished he were here instead.

It was the man who broke the silence. He cleared his throat, and clasped his hands behind his back.

"So, ah, I heard you're getting married soon. Congratulations."

Loric snorted, turning away. He couldn't even begin to contemplate that reality, let alone discuss it with a man he'd just finished fucking.

"If you're thinking of doing a runner…" The man trailed off, and Loric glanced over just in time to see him reach into his back pocket and produce a slim keycard. He held it out, equal parts a temptation and an olive branch. "I've got a hideaway."

Loric scoffed, running a hand through his hair as he turned away.

"Well." The man sounded almost disappointed. "I'll leave it here." There was a soft click as he deposited it on the glass coffee table.

Loric waited for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but nothing came. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, wishing the man would get the hell out. How much more did he have to go through before this damn wedding? Had this whole encounter been thought up just to torture him? He whirled around, ready to demand that the man get the hell out.

But he had his hands up in surrender, and was already stepping back towards the exit.

"Just wanted to say my piece, that's all," he told Loric. "And if you change your mind in the next couple days..." He nodded towards the keycard. "I'll be in room 1257."

He reached a hand back to unlock the door, and a moment later, he was gone. Loric stared at the exit, bracing himself for something he couldn't name. A minute passed. Two.

When it was clear the man wasn't coming back and no one else was coming in, he stepped forward and grabbed the keycard off the coffee table. He stared down at it, recognizing the name of a nearby hotel. Not an upscale one like he was used to, but not a shit one, either. He turned the card over between his fingers, knowing he should leave it behind. He had quite literally dodged a bullet just now, fucking a man in a back room like that without getting caught, and he knew keeping this link between them was only tempting fate. And yet he couldn't make himself throw it out.

He would never have Rudi again.

He knew that, as hard as it was to admit. He knew his one chance for more in this life was gone, but this card… Maybe it wouldn't be an escape from what was waiting for him at that altar, but it could at least be a distraction. A fantasy. A reminder of who he really was, even as the world tried to mold him into something different.

He pocketed the keycard and, once he made sure he looked presentable, he walked back to the front of the club.

His mother was waiting for him at the bar, a satisfied smile on her face. Mission accomplished. This time when she offered a drink, he took it without complaint and swallowed it down with a smile. He could spare a smile, now that he had something to plan for again. He was going to get married in two days, fine. But before that, he was going to go to room 1257, and he was going to learn that man's name. He might not have a future, but that didn't mean he had to leave any mysteries behind in his past.

A/N: Y'all don't know how excited I was to see a gay character on Strike Back (and especially one played by Maxim Baldry!), and so I couldn't resist pairing him with Mac when I saw them together for a scene. I'm disappointed Loric's been apparently written out of the show, but I'm enjoying creating an alternate universe where he and Mac have a continually escalating fling. ;) I hope you enjoyed this! I'm new to writing for the reboot team, so reviews would be most, most welcome!