Goals

August 17th, 2010 1:42 pm

"Gin-kun, make sure you're not out too late!"

Gin's teeth clenched during his guilty wince when he got caught sneaking out the front door of his home. His mother's nagging voice all but bellowed at him from the other room like she had some sort of sixth sense that you only develop after childbirth. All he could do was assume that she'd been desperate to use it for the first eighteen years of his life. "Mom, seven o'clock isn't late, especially for us teenagers." Just in case, he humoured her efforts with a casual disproval of her concerns.

"Don't you start with me, young man!" But she said the words like she was excited. "I won't tolerate any misdemeanour in this house!"

He hated how she said the mildly exasperated worlds like he was a problem child. All it had made him feel was disappointment. "Ah… yeah, right… okay, Mom."

She continued to lay into the mild-mannered youth from behind the partition in the modest two-bedroom apartment they shared since his birth. "It's summer vacation! Teenagers like you should be out playing ball or defacing public property, not sneaking out of the house at two in the afternoon to study. Try acting like a normal teenage boy for once!"

What little pigment Gin had in his complexion faded as he sighed his exhaustion through a slight grin. "If it makes you feel any better, I could kick over a trash bin on my way to the library…"

"Good!" he heard her chirp from the other room. "I don't want the other mothers in the building to think I've raised some sort of soft-boy for all their hip young sons to feed off of."

Gin groaned sympathetically but remained in good spirits as he began to slink out the door. Even if he were some sort of soft-boy, as she put it, nobody in their complex would ever dream of inconveniencing them. That's why they were bored enough to create conflicts with each other in the first place. "Something tells me that I'll have to do more than kick over a trash bin to convince them otherwise…"

"What was that? Are you backtalking your mother?!"

'I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?' He couldn't help but smile fondly, flushed with tender sentiment. How tedious it must have been raising a teenage boy who did his homework and respected his mother above all else. "Nothing! I love you!" After throwing himself out the door, Gin heaved a sigh of relief and tightened his grip on the strap that supported his backpack over his left shoulder. "I guess I'm sorry for being such a disappointment," he hummed musically to himself. Although he said the words, there were no ill intentions.

He fed his right arm through the second strap, a little awkwardly considering he was mainly left-hand dominant, but he managed to make the gesture look as unruffled as possible, for his mother's sake. He knew that there wasn't a parent in the building who didn't wish that their son acted as respectably as Gin did, but his mother was a little strange. She was young and single since his father passed away when he was still in middle school. That was why he started working at the mall nearby to help his mother keep up with the bills, but trying to force her to take a cut of his pay was a challenge in itself. She was continually trying to convince him to spend it on frivolous things like a day at the game centre or collectible cards. Anything so she wasn't guilt-ridden.

For some bizarre reason, though, she didn't like to brag those types of things to their neighbours. When the mothers got together over tea to rant and rave about how problematic their youth were, Gin's mother forced herself to stay relatively silent, and for a woman who loved to be the centre of attention, it wasn't easy. He was sure she would have delighted to find out that somebody had caught him smoking or breaking a window on his way home from school. Anything to say well, let me tell you what I had to deal with the other day!

Gin bounded down the stairs two at a time outside of their multiplex, making his way towards the lower levels as the sun relentlessly scorched the parking lot below. Their accommodations weren't exactly luxurious, but it was home. They'd lived there since Gin was born and had excellent relationships with a lot of the other families. He figured that's why his mother never remarried. She was pretty handy herself, but when things became too difficult for her to manage on her own, one of the other husbands were reliably there to help while the wives prepared a meal together. They always ended up taking it as an opportunity to strengthen their bonds. Where they were, Gin and his mother were well taken care of, but he could understand how boring it could be merely existing day-in and day-out. That's why Gin made it his resolution to always have something on the go.

Hup! He popped off the staircase two steps early, his smile only broadening as he began to cross the baking lot. He adjusted his wine-coloured frames on the bridge of his nose like it might help him see correctly, but that was when he realized that the temperature was what distorted his vision. It was hot enough to make the cicadas sing an ominous ode to the summer, but the heat wasn't going to stop him from trudging across town and taking the train into the heart of Tokyo. It never did.

Gin would consider his life far from exciting. He liked challenges and pushed himself to excel in school, which wasn't always easy. He wasn't the smartest youth, and he certainly didn't shine when it came to sports. But like his mother, he was always inspiring himself to be better, to go farther and increase his independence. Gin was never overly brave, but he was kind enough that he made friends with almost everyone he met. In school, he never had to worry about bullies because the other boys his age living in the same apartment compound made sure to watch his back like family, and he found that they could be pretty scary at times. But in Gin's mind, it made sense to be friends with frightening people rather than stand against them because that was when the real trouble started, and you became a target.

Maybe that was what fascinated him so much about HOMRA.

The train ride was pretty quiet, although busy, and Gin was getting quite used to the announcement of his stop. He could almost tune out the ruckus around him entirely until just the right moment that they announced the appropriate station for his arrival. Upon rushing out the doors that day, he accidentally bumped into a youth scrambling after his rushing mother to make the train, and when he bent down to return the stuffed toy that he knocked from the child's hand, he nearly lost his own in the train door. He toppled onto his backside, heaving a relieved sigh as he appreciated his digits. When the train started puttering, the child hoisted in his mother's arms, waved his thanks under his mother's encouragement. As Gin settled the butterflies in his stomach and casually waved back at the pair with a humble smile, he felt that the world was as it should be again.

So maybe he was a little clumsy, but Gin was one of those people who could blend in well with almost any crowd. He had an easy-going attitude and put forth great effort to please his peers, considering every metamorphosis a challenge. The children of the complex would laugh, and refer to it as the many faces of Gin, and they weren't inaccurate. Gin's face was always smiling, but it could mark the hearts of almost anyone to come across him. But when it came to HOMRA, he was beyond a black sheep. Since the day he'd met Rikio a couple of years prior, he met with nothing but a resistance that only made the trial intensify.

On top of everything else, Gin was not a quitter. He pushed further, tried harder, despite any defeat he faced. He learned that from his mother, and he honoured it every day. He supposed that was why he found himself standing at the gates of the Tokyo Legal Affairs Bureau, looking past the vast stronghold into an uncertain future. After the incident at the mall, Gin had pulled Andy and Akira aside, gathering as much information as he could on their everyday lives, and there was certainly nothing dull about them. Whereas HOMRA seemed to operate in the shadows, members of the blue clan, or SCEPTRE4, shed light on that darkness. They were a proud and reputable group that, unlike HOMRA, didn't resent his curiosity.

He tried to fit in with the Red Clan to find his place by Neirah's side, but even she was putting up walls. It wasn't that he had given up on the idea that someday they could all be friends, but a new and more exciting challenge was unfolding before him that required his attention first. Gin had never realized that the world beyond his modest two-bedroom in a large building full of ordinary families was so vast and ever-changing. He'd gotten a peek at the scope when he spoke to Neirah, but even she hadn't told him all the details, just a small part of the world she'd created for herself. HOMRA was only one piece of a much larger puzzle that stretched endlessly before his feet, and that was exhilarating.

Somewhere inside the elegant array of infrastructure, a gentle knock came on the door to Captain Munakata Reisi's office. The unobtrusive sound caused a low hum of interest to tickle his throat behind the fingers he intertwined against his face. He checked the clock, noting the time and how similar it was to what announced company the day before. Perhaps it was a coincidence. "Come in," he summoned. He heard the handle click open, but he didn't raise his focus from the puzzle he had strewn about the massive oak tabletop in front of him. Instead, he casually picked up a particularly crimson piece and set it into place among the vast wash of blue and violet hues.

On command, Seri quietly let herself into the room, securing the door behind her with a particularly disturbing crease in her brow. "C-Captain, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but…"

"You sound melancholy," Reisi jeered in a casual tone. "Is something troubling you? Perhaps you are unwell?" And maybe that was because of all the anko she ate in her spare time.

It was difficult for Seri to see through his ruse. She had a feeling that he knew the reason why she was standing there, and her suspicions deepened as he worked on prying the words from her lips. That air of mystery always fascinated her about her king. "There's someone to see you, Sir." Her eyes diverted when he slowly raised his like he was expectantly waiting for her to continue. "It's Okazaki … again."

Reisi watched the unease twist Seri's pretty expression for a moment before he untangled his fingers and laid another puzzle piece in place. "I do believe this is the fourth time this week." The tone of his proclamation was surer than the words he spoke as he sang them. "And it's only Tuesday. That's quite fascinating."

"Captain, if I may-"

"Do you think I'm cruel, Awashima-kun?"

Seri was taken aback by the man's sudden inquisition, and a bit alarmed that he'd contorted her sentiment to form such an outlandish insinuation. "Of course not," she firmly reposed. She let the unease drain from her expression as she proceeded customarily. "Should I turn him away?"

"No, that won't be necessary." Reisi quietly spread his hands over his desk and climbed to his feet, ignoring the way Seri startled to his suggestion. His entertained grin didn't alter as he paced around the room, his hands folding by his tailbone while he approached his office window. "I would like you to invite him in. There is something I wish to discuss with him personally, Lieutenant."

Seri's demeanour faltered again. "O-of course…"

After rushing out her uncertain murmur, Seri was vanishing from his presence just as quietly as she'd joined. He watched the bright rays of daylight spill upon the lush foliage in the yard, notes of summer in its prime. When he heard his door open the second time, it was with far less apprehension as one of his many subordinates announced Gin's presence.

"Captain, I have Okazaki Gin-san to see you."

"Hah, so formal," Gin teased in a friendly tone upon his entry. It was clear that he wasn't intimidated in the slightest as they ushered him forward into the fancy office space. "There's no need. Just call me Gin."

A knowing smile curled Reisi's lips as he continued to stare into the beautiful afternoon around them. He couldn't help but be fascinated by the young man joining him that afternoon, if not only for his resilience. "Okazaki-san, welcome."

In response to the Blue King's beckoning, Gin shifted his attention from the closing door behind him and met the sight of Reisi's shoulders. "Ah, just Gin is fine," he repeated pleasantly.

Reisi's eyes softened over his smile as he tilted it over his shoulder to connect their gazes. "You seem to exhibit a desire to familiarize yourself with everyone you meet. I wonder, do you do that to put my mind at ease, or your own?"

A faltering smile began to fight to stay positive on Gin's hesitant expression. "Maybe it's a bit of both," he admitted vaguely. "I only ever really hear people use my family name when I'm in trouble." Most of the residents at their apartment building from a young age referred to him as just Gin, seeing as they were all quite close from the beginning, and he supposed he'd just gotten used to it. That said, he was so very rarely ever in trouble that Okazaki seemed foreign after a while. Soon, the only person who still refused to call him anything but was Neirah.

"Ah, I see," Reisi purred in thought.

"And I know you're Captain Munakata Reisi." Gin inched forward, touching his fingertip to the nameplate on Reisi's desk. "It says it right here. All fancy…" But he was also the Blue King, and Gin knew that too. He kept that part to himself, though, despite Reisi having a clear idea of what he was dealing with already.

Reisi observed the man's casual posture particularly, noting how lax the boy remained despite knowing who stood before him. He was notably brave, or perhaps a little bit foolish. Either way, Reisi appreciated his enthusiasm. "I must say, you're quite persistent. No matter how many times I turn you away, you return." The majestic figure took a couple of steps towards where Gin lingered in the centre of his office. "I'm quite curious as to why that is, and I was hoping you might humour me with your answer."

All Gin could offer in return was a casual laugh. "I'm that annoying kind of person not to give up easily," he assured. "And I know from experience that I can take a fair amount of abuse before I turn away from something I want."

A hefty sigh escaped Reisi's chest as he began to pace the room. "Okazaki-san, I'm at a loss for words, and that doesn't happen often," he reasoned. "The unfortunate reality is that I just can't understand your willingness to hand yourself over to our cause. I'm not entirely certain you're aware of the gravity of our situation."

"You're Tokyo's Special Police Force," Gin parroted on cue. "And you're in constant confrontation with the Red Clan ruled by the Third King, Suoh Mikoto." There, he said it. If nothing else, maybe if Reisi understood that Gin had long comprehended the slate's influence on Japan, the fourth visit to Tokyo's metropolis might be his last.

Reisi's face flashed signs of exhaustion as he halted his meandering next to his desk. "It's true that we occasionally find ourselves endorsing pointless squabbles with their like, yes. But that is such a minuscule part of our responsibility."

Upon rushing towards Reisi's desk to watch the man reclaim his post, Gin's tone filled itself with urgency. "And I'm sure that I can manage other things too. As you said, I'm pretty persistent."

After taking a seat, Reisi closed his eyes to meditate on his thoughts, leaning his chin against the support of his folded hands. "It isn't your resolve that I doubt," he reasoned. "But your intensions seem to be askew. The only part of this job that seems to interest you is HOMRA, the Third King's Red Clan, and I find that particularly disturbing." He opened analytical violet eyes and locked them on his unnerved guest. "Just what is your fascination with their type, and if it's so prevailing, why aren't you there instead?"

Gin shuffled thoughtfully for a moment, his fingers wringing the straps of his backpack. "It doesn't actually have to do much with HOMRA, per se," he mumbled sheepishly. "It just so happens that one of my friends is one of their members, and I guess she's what inspired my interest in the kings and their clans."

Oh? Reisi's expression vivified keenly. "You refer to the Red Lioness?" he instigated cunningly. "How unexpected that an upstanding youth such as yourself could have ties with such a beast."

Suddenly, Gin's bashful smile broadened as he filled the room with awkward laughter. "Oh, come on now. She's not that bad, I promise! I mean, we grew up together, and she- she was…" Gin's words dropped off uncertainly as he scanned his mind in Neirah's defence. Honestly, he couldn't recall a gentle trait about her since they'd met. She was always frosty, irritable and sometimes downright rude. For as long as he knew her, she was always pushing people away, but that changed when she joined HOMRA, not that he expected the Red Clan's mortal enemy to appreciate that. "Okay, well she was kind of cold for a while, but-"

"You refer to her as a comrade, but you don't know much about that particular beauty, do you, Okazaki-san?"

Uncertainly, Gin's expression sank as he let his apprehensive eyes skirt over his surroundings. "I know she's full of life, and maybe a little temperamental, but I wouldn't exactly call her a beast." He said the words as if he'd intended to defend her, but his tone was still light and approachable. "She's just cautious, that's all."

"And she rejects you because you're not of similar standing," Reisi prodded. "For all intents and purposes, you are considered a civilian and of a lower-tier to her. This strains your perceivable relationship, doesn't it?"

His outward flinching startled Gin into facing his host directly. It hadn't taken long for the intelligent man to scope out his intentions. Then he suddenly felt the immediate impact of his shame in the downtrodden crease of his face. He didn't want Reisi to be under the impression that all Gin wanted was to use his powers to catch up with Neirah, but fundamentally, that is what it would look like to anyone much less a cunning man like the Blue King.

"That is why I must decline you, Okazaki-san," Reisi repeated. "SCEPTRE4 is not a tool to be used to satisfy your petty grudges towards others."

"N-no!" Gin rushed out defensively. "You don't understand! I promise it's not like that." His tone faltered nervously as his meek gaze combed the room in hopes of finding some inspiration to push forward. "At least… it's not all like that."

Despite his perseverance, Reisi remained unmoved by his frantic scramble. "Perhaps I am misinterpreting the situation, then." He spoke the words, but there was a certain air of confidence that noted he was sure of their meaning. It was a notion that Gin was careful not to deride.

"I- it might be a bit of a stretch to say that Tsukiyo and I are friends," Gin admitted sheepishly. "I always considered her one, but if you asked her the same question, you might get a slightly variant answer." He sounded a low chuckle despite his uncertainty. "She was always a bit of a lone wolf back in the day and liked to turn people away from being a part of her life. Now ever since she joined HOMRA, she's started to come out of her shell. But she's only happy when she's talking about them. It kind of seems like I'm just boring to her now."

Reisi didn't seem convinced. "But you admitted that you didn't have much of a relationship prior, so how do you know that serving a king will make you any more interesting in her eyes?"

A sad smile curled his lips to consider the hard reality Reisi was pushing into perspective. Suddenly, what he felt was an endearing bond with the woman seemed like nothing more than a game of cat and mouse. "I don't, really," he admitted frankly. "But I want to keep trying."

A keen smirk peeked from beneath Reisi's hands to consider Gin's choice of words. "I find it interesting that you said it that way. You said you want to try. I would have expected a man in your situation to proclaim your need for tenacity."

Gin awkwardly raised his hands and waved them in front of his face with a sheepish laugh. "No-no. I need things like air or food. This is just one of those things that give my life meaning."

"Merely surviving on food and oxygen isn't enough for you."

"Is it enough for anybody?" he teased half-heartedly. "I know better than anybody how boring it is just to live, and maybe if Tsukiyo accepted me as her friend, it wouldn't be as exciting anymore." Gin was beginning to consider that the unobtainable was the only thing that interested him. If he made amends with Neirah, there was a chance her company wasn't nearly as fulfilling.

Reisi's enthusiasm was hard to contain as he listened to the boy divulge. "Perhaps that is why you are here and not at the Third King's doors."

"Ah, maybe…"

"I see, so it isn't your need to befriend this woman that drives you, it's the thrill of the hunt." Reisi calmly raised from his seat and offered Gin a peek at his masterpiece coming together on the tabletop. "Tell me, Okazaki-san, do you have any hobbies? I am particularly fond of puzzles and other mind games that someone such as yourself may consider tedious. So, putting things into perspective this way may seem daunting."

Gin shrugged but scanned his brain regardless. "Not really-" Then he seemed enlightened. "Well, actually, I'm kind of into flowers," he admitted sheepishly. Of course, if anyone else asked him the question, he would have declined. His mother was the one with interest in arrangements, not him. But that was a lie, and probably not very constructive given his circumstance. "I'm pretty good at arranging them, so I do that on the side. I get a lot of customers coming through my workplace preparing for their weddings, so that's where I meet most of my clientele. I don't usually make enough from it to consider it a side-job yet, though."

"Flowers, what an unexpected quality," Reisi purred. "I have a brother who is particularly fond of greenery." He turned over his shoulder and connected his gaze with the youth once more. "And what is it that attracts you to such a thing? Surely for someone with so much drive, a thing like flower-arranging must be painfully dreary."

Gin thought about it for a moment, and then his gentle smile was returning. "Maybe that's what I like about it after all," he reasoned. "Life moves so quickly, and sometimes I feel like I'm always chasing some unachievable goal, but arranging flowers is calming. For just a moment, I feel like I'm in another world where things are peaceful and easy, a world where I can imagine all my goals coming to fruition."

"But you would rather join my SCEPTRE4 than try your hand at a career in flower arranging."

"It's true. The thought of achieving my goals is a pleasant one, but it is also dreary," Gin admitted with a vague shrug. "I feel that's why I'm always reaching for the impossible, so I always have a goal to strive towards." His smile was nearly disappointed when he connected it levelly with the king again. "Otherwise, think of how dull life would be?"

"And the Red Lioness is this unachievable goal of yours?"

"For now," he admitted shyly. It certainly was a lofty one. "Maybe I know that things won't be perfect even if I join a rival clan, and maybe that's why I never asked to join hers, but I think that's what makes it so exciting. I can just imagine the look on her face at that very moment, and it gives me the will to keep coming back no matter how many times you turn me away."

An acceptant beam seemed to brighten Reisi's face as he carefully oversaw the youth's divulgence. "Now then, let me ask you this, Okazaki-san," he casually instigated. "Let us pretend for a moment that the Red Lioness is a flower. A stunning red rose, perhaps, which I believe suits her well, given her abrasive mannerisms." Despite Gin's visible attachment to the woman, he didn't seem put-out that the king before him spoke ill of her temperament, and that was something Reisi could appreciate. "Say your client has given you this single rose and a dozen white lilies. How would you display them?"

It was evident in the enthusiasm of Gin's tone that he was confident of his answer. "Ah! I would arrange the lilies around the rose to complement its beauty."

"Why?"

But then he shrunk uncertainly. "Why?" he murmured defeatedly. He wasn't quite sure why Reisi sounded so disappointed by his response. "Why would I arrange them that way?"

"Has some expectation led you to believe that is how it should be done or is it sparked by your feelings for the Red Lioness?" Reisi pried. "Can you take a rose at face-value when using it to relate to your feelings towards her?"

Comprehending that Reisi's words might be some form of test, Gin couldn't help but put more thought into his responses. "The rose is the only flower with colour, so it would be most aesthetically pleasing to be the centre of the arrangement."

"So, you see the lilies as envious of the rose's colour, is that correct?" Reisi knowingly persisted. "I only ask because I see something slightly different. I see the lilies closing in on the rose, caging that wild beauty to protect the world from those thorns." He watched the thoughts burn in Gin's mind as the youth contemplated the more profound meaning in his words. "I suppose that is the power of perspective. Either way, the Red Lioness seems to be your trophy, all that's left for you to decide is how you will display it once it is obtained, and that's if you ever manage to reach that unattainable goal you've set for yourself."

With a soft sigh, Reisi closed his eyes and dropped his head. "If you were to serve under my command, you know well that there may come a time where you're asked to detain that wild beauty that you so revere. My question to you is, could you bring yourself to lock that flower in a cage where its petals will wither at the cost of protecting the world from its thorns? Could Okazaki Gin stand for the purity of a lily in the wake of the blood and flame that is that red?"

When he felt his stomach churn, Gin knew he was defeated. If for some reason, Reisi granted him the opportunity to stand against his childhood friend, even if only to be a part of her world, he didn't think he could cause her suffering. "I… no, Sir," he murmured weakly. "I don't know if I could detain her."

Reisi seemed pleased by his uncertainty. "But, you know that you need oxygen to breathe." His fond smile broadened as he met the boy's kind eyes with confidence in his plum stare. "I'm sorry, Okazaki-san, but until you decide that you need to live a satisfying life filled with a resolution beyond chasing fantasies, I cannot accept your proposal. What I offer is absolute and a purpose."

Moments after laying his proposal on the table for Gin to consider, Reisi watched the youth escort himself out of the building, his thoughts filled with uncertainty as he trudged through the courtyard towards the gate. Okazaki Gin was a boy who would dash towards his goal until his feet wore into the pavement, and when he finally reached his mark, he would find another. Reisi could see that in his eyes, a dedicated, but fleeting, spirit hopeful that his successes could change the world. He needed direction, but his sheer resilience and determination had gone so far as to humble the Blue King as he watched the man depart, knowing full well that he would be unsatisfied with the rejection. But on top of everything else, Munakata Reisi found a valuable piece to SCEPTRE4's puzzle, knowing that if he empowered the youth's hunt, he would stop at nothing to repay the debt.

"Captain, you summoned me?"

Reisi didn't turn his eyes from the window as his smile returned the moment Seri's voice sounded in the doorway. "Yes, I did," he assured her. "Lieutenant, I would like you to prepare the documentation required to induct our newest member into SCEPTRE4's ranks."

"Y-you don't mean, Okazaki, do you?" Seri looked over her shoulder swiftly, obviously confused that the boy had just sulked past reception like was rejected. She wasn't sure if that meant that she was supposed to be giving chase. "He just left."

Reisi closed his eyes, swinging from the brilliant rays of sunshine spilling through the window so he could lock his certainty with Seri's worrisome conduct. "Yes, and when he inevitably returns, I want all the necessary arrangements tended to."