You cannot heal in the same environment you got sick.
Gintoki's POV
Three weeks after Zura woke up he is still not in his self but he is slowly talking but to Sakamoto only. Sakamoto never leave Zura's side, Sakamoto is the only that Zura trust this time. Its hard that when he looks at me there is no love there is no care in his eyes but its only pain, sometimes I'm suffocating in my own house. Zura never sleep next to me, tenshi is now our only connection. Sometimes our friends will come to cheer him up but he will never talk to them, even the Jouishishi and Elizabeth tried to talk to him but he will only look at them.
Kagura: Gin-chan are you okay?
Yes, we will have a work tomorrow
Shinpachi: But Katsura-san... he will only think you will leave him, it is better to not leave the house.
Kagura: Gin-chan we can do the job trust us
Shinpachi: Dont worry Gin-san we will do our best, you need to talk to Katsura-san.
Sakamoto: Zura is sleeping in your room I left him there with Mutsu and Tenshi-chan
Tatsuma you shoudnt leave him, he will look for you when he wake up just like before
Sakamoto: Zura is strong enough maybe the virus is affecting his mind right now
We still dont know if there is really a virus in his body, the amanto that invented the insect wants to get Zura so they can observe him.
Kagura: I really don't know what happen to Zura aru.. Gin-chan what really happen to him?
Sakamoto: Zura's been like this 11 years ago but this time its not as severe as before
Shinpachi: What happen to him before?
Sakamoto: Kintoki is the one who really knows what happen, he only ask me to check on Zura and when I saw him, I didnt even know that it was really him, his hair is messy, he's super skinny that you can see his bones, he's not sleeping at night and he cant talk.
After sensei died he never talk, he didnt even say goodbye to me and takasugi. Takasugi and I decided to burry our master together with our comrades, Zura never talk he will only nod and follow so after we burry sensei the three of us go on our separated ways. I saw him when I am going to our burned school, he didnt even notice me he only looking at the grave I know he made a grave for sensei, I observe him for 3 days, he will just get a fruit in our tree and thats what he will eat for the whole day, he will go to river to drink and wash his face and hair at night he will just cry.
Shinpachi: How does it happen?
He's afraid to be alone, he's been alone when he was a child he is homeless so when he meet Takasugi, he followed Takasugi, he made friend in Takasugi so when Takasugi go and challenge our dojo Zura is always outside observing Takasugi and the school. When Takasugi made a decision to go study in our school, Zura followed him because he is afraid that his only friend will leave him. Zura became close with Shouyou sensei and he found a family in our school, he treated me and Takasugi his bestfriend and he look up sensei as his father,When sensei got captured we vow to save sensei and joined war together with our classmates. Everytime our classmate died because of war, Zura will take time to stay at their grave to say sorry. When all of our comrades die and the three of us only left Zura didnt talk he was just dumbfounded when we got captured, Zura and Takasugi is tied and sensei is also there. I made a decision to save them and kill our own sensei, Zura and Takasugi forced to watch it. I really dont know what Zura feel because he didnt say any word, only Takasugi reacted how mad he is. Seeing that scene and our comrades all die while we are alive, maybe that trigger Zura's extreme emotion that was hidden when he met us in school... fear of being left behind, fear to be alone and the trauma he develop in war the fear to see his own comrades die in his eye.
Kagura: Hmm how can we cure Zura?
Shinpachi: There is no cure in that Kagura-chan, we only need to believe in Katsura-san
Sakamoto: and be with him so Kintoki dont leave in his side
Three months has been passed
Sakamoto and Mutsu need to leave for their business. Zura is sometimes answering Elizabeth, Kagura and Shnpachi, I can also see him petting Sadaharu. When Sakamoto and Mutsu left he only talks to Tenshi-chan. When the job request is not really hard I let Kagura and Shinpachi do it but when its hard sometimes me and Kagura will do the job or me and Shinpachi, the three of us make sure that Zura wont be alone anymore. Today Shinsengumi came to visit us Gorilla and Otae's baby is 2nd months and a girl, I ask them if they will get married and Otae said no. I never see Sachan I dont know if she already move on or shes plotting something, Tsukuyo's been avoiding me ever since she learned what happen to Zura, she is blaming herselft even though I said its not her fault. I dont have any news about Takasugi but I can feel he is planning something. Sougo and I become close since I'm greatful for his action when Zura is having a breakdown
Sougo-kun what are you doing here?
Sougo: china and I are going to play at the park today
And what play are both of you doing?
Sougo: wrestling
Kagura came and said she was going to playfround with Sougo.
Only me, Zura and Tenshi left. Shinpachi is not here because he said that he will take care his sister and the baby named Ayumi. Zura is in the couch so I sat next to him, tenshi-chan is sleeping in his arms, I ask Zura if I can hold Tenshi and he gave it to me.
Zura ... you still dont want to talk?
Zura look at me and said Gintoki, I composed my self I am surprise he talk to me now.
Zura... look I'm sorry for everything that happen, its my fault...
Zura: Gintoki its no one's fault, you had a job and you wanted to help... you are also triggered about the master of Tsukuyo-dono.
But still I can prevent it if I just answered the phone
Zura: I'm not blaming you... I'm not blaming anyone... I'm blaming my self
No you shoudnt, its not you okay, you just need to heal we are here for you
Zura: No I wont be healed here... its my fault because I'm weak I need to face my fear.
We are here to help you...
Zura: No Gintoki I cant be healed in this place, whenever I see this place I only see blood... I cant be healed to this place that get me sick.
Want us to go somewhere?
Zura: You should stay here, your life is in here and your job is here ... you cant leave here.
So what do you want to do?
Zura: I'll leave I will go somewhere and I will bring Tenshi...
You cant do that
Zura: You want me to heal? The only thing you can do is to support me.
So you want to leave and you will bring Tenshi? where are you going?
Zura: Somewhere far away so I can clear my mind so I can meditate
We still dont know if you have a virus in your body, the doctor still monitoring you and what about tenshi?
Zura: Can you just trust me I promise to be back...
Ok... I trust you Zura, come back together with Tenshi, come back as soon as your soul is whole again.
Zura: Thank you Gintoki
When will you plan to leave?
Zura: Tonight
No don't leave tonight I still want to be with you and tenshi...
Zura: Tomorrow morning we will leave.
You'll never tell me where are you going?
Zura: I still dont know where but I want it somewhere far away from here
Can I touch you Zura? Can I hug you?
Zura: No... You cant sorry Gintoki...
When you come back here, can I do that?
Zura: Yes
Okay I'll wait for the both of you, take care of yourself and take care tenshi always eat healthy foods and you need to sleep.
Zura: Thank you Gintoki
Zura left me and go to our room, I only look at my child, I dont know how many months Zura needs to be heal... but I know it will take time before I can see my child and my lover. I wanted to say no but I know Zura I knoe hoe stubborn he is if I said no he will leave without saying goodbye and there's a possibility that he wont come back because he will think I am mad at him...
We stay silent when dinner I never told Kagura and Shinpachi about what will happen tomorrow, Zura let me hold Tenshi until night, I know Zura is not sleeping at night. He is fixing his things and Tenshi, I help him pack I also put a money in his bag without even knowing I know he will not ask me for money and he will get the money that I will give. I sleep at 3am, I feel that someone is gently massaging my hair I can feel that it is Zura, he kiss me in my lips and said they will leave now, I pretended that I'm asleep but after I feel that he's presence is gone I let go of the tears.
Shinpachi: Gin-saaaan Gin-san Shinpachi keeps on shaking me I ask why
Kagura: Gin-chan Zura and Ten-chan is missing. Their things is also not here
They left
Shinpachi: What?
They left the house
Shinpachi ask why and I said Zura needed it
Kagura: What about ten-chan? why did Zura bring him?
Because Tenshi needs Zura to breastfeed him.
Shinpachi: Will they come back?
Yes but it will take a time maybe months worse is years
Kagura: And you let him leave?
Yes Zura is still not part of yorozuya, so I didnt stop him
Shinpachi: How could you! Zura is your lover and Tenshi is your son!
Kagura: I will find Zura and bring him here with tenshi
I didnt say a work and choose the door of our bedroom I saw Zura's comb, I get and keep it in my kimono.
Zura's POV
Walking away from Yorozuya with Tenshi, I know they will understand the important thing is Gintoki knows and Gintoki believes in me. I rode the train station and go to bushu. I still have money Sakamoto gave me and the money I save when I work at Saigo-san. This place is so refreshing it fulls of flowers, trees and river. It looks like my hometown. I ask people if they know a place to stay and they accompany me to a small dojo in town. The owner of the dojo looking for a teacher who can teach little kids about swords I approach him and he is asking if I know how to teach small childrens and I said yes but I have my baby with me. He said its okay to bring the baby. He also gave me a shelter to stay. Today I will slowly learned to be independent. Now its not me who left behind but its me who leave.