(dakoolguy gave me permission to use his oc btw)
chapter 1
One night john pheonix and kevin lawyer were at the bar unwinding after a long day of being lawers.
"You know, Josh Phoenix," said famous prosecituor Keven Lawer, "your the most famous defends attorney in America, and Im the most famous prosecutor in America ever sense Edgeworth died, but we've never actually faced eachother in cort. I wonder..." he gazed thoughtfully into the foggy mirror over the bar "whos the better lawer...?"
"Haha," laughed john phoeinx "that's an easy one, Kev, you already lost to my uncle Phenix twice, and since Im a million tiems better then him you'd stand no chants againt me."
"Fuck you bitch" said keven. Keven was wering his famous 50,000 doller sunglassess and he also had a vampire cloke and chains and skulls all over he body. "Those losses meant NOTING your uncle cheeted both times he used bad bluffs and also he cheated."
"Ha if you wnat to proof yourselve so bad, Lawer, then how about a friendly gentleman's wager?"
"Elaborait."
"We'll make our own murdar trial" explained john pheonix. "whoever solves it first is the better lawer and whoever loses isn't."
"Your on!" saed Kevin lawyer egirlly. "But whose the defendint going to be?" Suddenly there was a crash behind them and both men turned around on their stools and they saw a foolish bumbling lawer crying on the floor in front of a purple lady.
"Nick your so stupid i hate yuo" said the purple lady (Maya Fay) "you crashed my mayatama on the floor and broke it, your stupit"
The bad lawyer (nick(phoeinx wright)) was trying to pick up the magatama but it was dust now and he acidentally breathed it into his nose.
"cough cough" sneezed Pheonix Write. "Ow my nose"
"Mr. nick" said perl sadly "your stupid now"
Maya took Pearl's hand. "Thats right little sister" she said. "Now lets get you home from this bar, it's not safe for little children like you, Nick might brake your magatama."
pearl gasped. "Mr. Nick! How could you think of breaking my mayatama?"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo" creid phoenix as they left. "I would NEVER DO THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" then he fell onto the floor and cryed like a pathetic baby.
"Hmmm pathetic" observed Kevin lawyer. He wiped his mouth with a 5000 dollar bill.
"Indeed." responjded JP (John Phoenix). "But I think we just found the perfect dupe for our prospective trial, wouldn't you say old boy?" The famous defnese attoenry smiled like a little devil.
chapter 3
phoenix wright was riding his horse and buggy through the spooky forest.
"What an eerie night for a ride" said the ledgendary lawyer, shivering. He whipped his whores to make it go faster becuz he was scart of the trees and darkness.
Suddenly there was an old-fashiend covered bridge up ahead. The buggy entered the bridge and inside it was as dark as the color black, or maybe even a cave. The horse whinnyed scaredly.
"Dont worry old girl" said Phoenix in the impentriable dakness "we'll get back to the office soon enough"
But when they got to the other side of the bridge, Phehinox saw by the light of the fullmoon that there was a knife sticking out of his horse's neck!
"Oh my" said Phoenix "horse are you okay"
but the horse didnt respond because it was dead and was only moving cuz of momentum. Anyway sense the horse was dead the buggy went out of control and veered all over the road and then it flipped through the air and then landed upside down in a swampy patch of water
Phoenix crawled out from the flaming wreakage. "Cough cough" he said. "That was clothes... a little two close if you ask me!" A frog croaked in his face. Then the frog hopped away and the reeds in front of Phenis got flattened by some feet.
Pheionus gulped and looked up and he saw that the feet were connected to a person... and that person whas...
A SHADOWY FIGURE
before Phonx could react, the figure put him in a bag and kidnapped him!
"LET ME OUT!" phoenix's muffled voice cryed.
"no" said the kidnapper and punched the bag
anyway eventually they got to an old abadoned haunted saw mill and the shadowy figure dumped Phoenix out of the sack and onto the groun
"ow my head" phoenix slowly looked up. "you son of a BITCH, when I get my hands on you..." he gasped. the shadwoy figure was acutally JOHN PHOENIX!
"Hi uncle Phoenix" said John Phoenix "Your under arrest for murder but I kidnapped you so I could be your defends attorney. your welcome"
"Oh thanks" said Phoenix wright. John Dickshoe (gumshoe's cousin) came out of the shadows and handcuffed him. "Wait a minute, I mean HEEEEEEEEEEELP!" he screamed as the police dragged him away.
"Dont worry Uncle Phoeinx you can count on me" said the nephew and he waved good-by.
CHAPTER 4: THE TRIAL OF PHEONIX WRITE
the trial took place three seconds later cuz the trial was being held at the sawmill
"JOHN PHOENIX HELP!" screamed phoenix wright as the baliffs tied him to a conveyor belt.
"Sorry uncle phoenix but the law says we have to do this" replied john phoenix from his desk
"what law?"
"the one i just had enacted by the state legislature a few hours ago, geez put a cork in it already" john phoenix was a state senator, the most powerful one in fact. his will was law.
"JOHN PHOENIX I'M GOING TO DIE!" screamed pheinox wright as he was slowly carried headfirst towards the spinning saw blades
"Not if I can get you a not-guilty verdict first" replyed jon phoenix. he checked his accurate wristwatch. "hmm we have exactly 5 minutes before you die should be planty of time to sort this mess out."
"Lets hope so, for mr write's sake at least" said the judge. he was sitting in one of those high tennis chairs. He took out his gavel and threw it the wall. Bang! "Court is now is sesshion for the trial of Mr. Phoenix Wright, how do you plead sir?"
"ABJECTLY!"
"no no i meant make a plea"
"INNOCENT!"
"Thats not a plea dumpass"
salty tears streamed down phoenix's face as he moved slowly toward death. "NOT GUILTY! NOT GUILTY! Just get me off this thing! I don't even know what im being accused of!"
"Murder of cousrse" chuckled keven lawer. "What else? Anyway, my openining statement is bascially that this guy killed Maya Fay because she got mad at him because he dropped her magatama on the ground like a complete idoit."
"Wait, Maya's dead?!"
Keven lawyer slammed desk "LOOK HE ADMITTED SHES DEAD, HE JUST CONFESSED TO KILLING HER! GUILTY HIM NOW!"
"OBJECTION!" objectioned John Phoenix. "Not so fast! We still haven't heard all the testimoney from the witnesses. To guilty him now would be premature indeed"
"Ugh fine"
4 MINUTES TO DEATH
"name and occupation" said kevin lawyer
3 MINUTES TO DEATH
"John Phoenix" said the witness "and i'm the defense attorney for this trial. also im a senator"
2 MINUTES TO DEATH
"Um could we hurry this up please?" asked uncle phoeinx nervously. some hungry wolves were waitng by the sawblades to eat him after he died
"shut up" the judge threw a gavel at him "dont speak out of turn again or i'll hold you in contmpt of court!"
keven lawyer interroragted the witness.
"MR John Phoenix, is it true that you saw your uncle murder Maya Fay?"
John Phoenix suddenly smiled like a chess player who just moved a chess piece in a smart way.
This is it..., john phoenix thought. This is my chance to turn this trial around!
"NO" he said slammping the table. "I DIDNT SEE THAT!"
the woodland creatures who came to watch the the trial gasped
"WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" screamed kevin lawyer
"oh my what a turn of evints" mused the jduge
"IN FACT, I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING AT ALL. UNCLE IS INNOCINT"
Keven lawyer got angery... but then he got not angery at the same time. "ha whatever"
"?" said eve3ryone
1 MINUTE TO DEATH
"It doesnt matter" said kevin. "what you say i mean. i have here in my pocket forged evidence that conclusively proves that mr wright stabbed maya fay in the boob and killed her."
"Wow I'd never do that" said Phoenix Wright. "I'm a gentleman after all."
"Wait a minute KEVIN" said John Phoenix "how do we know your evidance is REAL."
"because i said so bitch" said kevin. "You dont need to see it. all that matters is that phoenix wright's fingerprints are on it."
"BUT YOU JUST SAID THE EVDIENCE WAS FORGED"
"YES... FORGED BY THE REAL KILLER, PHOENIX WRIGHT!"
the gallery went crazy
the judge threw another gavel to make ppl shut up but he missed and hit a switch that made the conveyor belt speed up
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP" screamed uncle phoenix, a hairbredth's away from death
5 SECONDS TO DEATH
"Heh give up now, John Phoenix" said kevin lawyer "and maybe we'll only cut off part of his head."
But John Phoenix was calm and collected. "whatver, i dont care, oh btw keven i need to peel this apple do you have a knife i could use"
"sure bro but its evidence for a murder trial im working on so it has blood on it"
"thats cool i dont care"
2 SECONDS TO DEATH
kevin took the knife out of his pocket and threw it to john pheonix
and john phoenix smiled
because he knew that he had already won
"Your honor, as you can clearly see," he said holding up the knife "the fingerprints on the murder weapon dont belong to the defendant... THEY BELONG TO KEVIN LAWYER! THE REAL KILLER IS YOU"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Kevin calmly.
1 SECOND TO DEATH
"Good job, young John Phoenix" said the judge. "you've proven yourself a genious yet again. I find mr phoenix wright...
NOT
GUILTY
the conveyorbelt shut off and uncle phoenix was freed.
"How do you feel ucnle pheonix?" asked JP. "Happy?"
"Like my hearts gonna stop. Also I cant be too happy what with maya being dead and all."
"Heh well nice trial guys" said kevin. "guess Im going home now."
"Object?" said phoenix wright. "But your the murderer! You killed Maya! You cant just go home!"
jhon pheonix burst out laughing.
"whats so funny, my nephew?"
"your stupidy, uncle wright. Maya's not dead! Shes safely bound and gagged in the trunk of kevin's car. you see the "victim" in this case was actually just a dead body I stole from the mourge. The body Kevin Lawer stabbed was already dead! You see, the only thing we're guilty of is being good lawers"
"I dont understand..." phoenix said slowly. "Why...? why would you do this?"
"Basically this was all a test to see who the better lawyer was. I won."
uncle wright got mad. "John Phoenix I'll never forgive you for this!"
"I have a feeling you will" winked john phoenix. "after all im your favorite nephew."
"Well you got me there."
Kevin Lawyer stood in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. "Heh you won this time, john pheonix, but next time i'll win!" he said.
but he won't
because this was a one-shit
THE END
epilog
phoenix wright made maya a new magatama
"Wow Nick its shit but its the thought that counts! Thanks!"
THE END 2