Hello everyone!

Got something new for you, hope you enjoy it! And, No, I haven´t forgot "Paralyzed", I´ve just been on a big writing blockade...

"Dad.", she whispered and approached her father's deathbed.

The older man didn't react to her anymore. The doctor had prepared her for this day weeks ago, but she never thought it would happen so quickly. She thought she had more time. But what is time? A limited period of time. Consecutive moments. And yet time is so precious. It goes by so fast that you couldn't really stop it. The redhead was wrong, because her time was over and now every second was at stake, and she wanted to use every one of them. She wanted to stay here, with him.

Uncertain about what to do, how to react, Jennifer Shepard had sat down on the free chair next to his bed. She reached for his hand and squeezed it firmly. Even though he didn't seem to react to her anymore, the redhead knew he could feel her presence. It was a minimal price for the enormous loss she would suffer. For weeks, she had prepared herself inwardly for this day, and yet she was not ready to let him go. He was all she had left, and he was about to leave her forever. What would happen then? How could she ever survive this pain? How could she go on living without him?

"Daddy.", she whispered and her eyes gleamed.

Slowly had Jenny bent forward. With her free hand she stroked lovingly over his cheek.

His nose was pointy, not uncommon when a person is close to death. His eyes and cheeks were also strongly sunken. While today, she noticed for the first time that his chin and the tip of his nose were white, which was a clear sign of a circulatory disorder, the rales were much more frightening! She was told that her father was not in pain, that these sounds occur because the patients could no longer swallow or cough and mucus was collecting in the airways. His hands were so cold and already slightly bluish that she almost felt the need to warm them.

"It's okay. You go.", she croaked and could barely suppress the tears.

Despite all the sadness and the tears that came up she managed to force herself to smile. It was finally over and he can rest now! This made their goodbye a little easier. But the pain won't go away.

It was over. Colonel Jasper Shepard had lost the battle against cancer. As good as it had looked in the beginning, his condition deteriorated rapidly. Pancreatic cancer! The fight was long, hard and yet it was a redemption and his beloved daughter would also have to understand.

Quiet Jen sat in the kitchen, waiting patiently for the team of carers to wash and dress her father's lifeless body. She couldn't watch.

"Jennifer?", asked the doctor quietly and stopped next to her.

She put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a warm, compassionate smile.

"May I?", Jenny nodded.

"You've given him a lot, and it's okay to let your emotions run wild. He was your father and it's a great loss." The lady, with the long brown hair tied in a high braid, laid her hand on Jenny's.

"Everybody grieves differently, everybody deals with their grief differently, and yet it is okay how somebody mourns. You can cry, you can scream, but it's important to free your emotions.", she said calmly but with a decisive undertone.

"Is there someone I can call for you?", Dr. Scott asked after a long minute of silence.

Jenny did not react to her words, she just sat there staring into space. Everything the doctor said to her was wrapped up in cotton wool. It was all so dim and quiet. She could record but not convert what was spoken. Her brain just couldn't deal with it.

There was a knock at the door, but even that didn't have much effect on Jen. "Grace, we're done." Emily said the nurse quietly to the doctor.

"All right, thanks, Emily." Grace smiled at her and indicated that she needed a moment with Jenny. Without further words to both women, Emily left the room again.

"Should I call Jethro?", she asked gently and finally got her attention.

"No, I'm... I'm fine." Jennifer whispered softly and got up from her chair.

While she was thinking about how she could survive tonight, she hadn't noticed how the doctor had also got up from her chair. The time had come and the palliative team around Dr. Grace Scott would leave. The only thing Jenny had to do was wait for the men from the city funeral home to come and pick up her father. But this could still take a while.

"Are you sure there's no one I can call for you?", the doctor repeated her question from earlier and looked at her expectantly.

"I'll be fine." Jen repeated her answer from earlier.

The young woman already seemed much more attentive, much more lively than a few minutes ago. But Dr. Scott still wasn't quite sure he could leave her alone. But she had asked them several times and always came to the same answer. She had no other choice, could not force her to call someone and staying with her was not an option. The woman nodded silently and left the kitchen.

"It shouldn't take long until the funeral home arrives, I'll call them as soon as I get in the car." she said and slipped into her coat. Slowly she bent down to her bag and hung it around her shoulder. Caring she looked at the redhead, but she would not be able to change her decision.

"If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call me, I know very good counselling centers that can help you."

"Thanks, but I think I'll be fine." She smiled, a little uncertainly but it was a smile.

Quietley, the doctor took a business card from her pocket and placed it on the chest of drawers next to her. Better safe than sorry! Then she pointed her colleagues to the door before following them. Just as the nurses were about to leave and had already opened the door, they all almost ran into a grey-haired man. Jethro!, Dr. Grace immediately came to mind and somewhere she was noticeably relieved, because now her redheaded client was no longer alone.

Silently but with a meaningful smile she watched the chief investigator and pushed herself past him into the dark night. A cool breeze came her way and the middle-aged woman could go home with a clear conscience.

"Hey.", he said softly and closed the door.

And no sooner was this one closed and the two alone, it broke out of the redhead. It came without any warning. She began to cry, bitter tears flowed down her cheeks and it seemed as if it would never stop. Her heart ached, she could not cope with this loss alone and deep inside she was incredibly happy that he was here. He was here, and she would not be alone, just what she needed now — even if she told the doctor something else. Maybe she only said this because she didn't want to admit it herself, but the closeness to him would certainly do her good.

Jethro did not need to ask what had happened, he had got his answer. Jaspar Shepard had passed away and the three people who just left their house were none other than the palliative care team who had been looking after him for weeks. So he´s gone, he thought and closed his arms tightly around her delicate body. Soothingly he stroked her back up and down, hoping to be able to calm her somehow, but it turned out to be more difficult than expected.

"I'm sorry." he whispered and pressed a kiss on her head. "I'm so sorry.", he repeated and pressed them close together.

Every sob caused a stabbing in his heart. To see them suffer has never been easy, but this time it was foreseeable and he could prepare himself for this day. But that it went so fast in the end, this came as a complete surprise. But he would make the best of the situation and stand by her in every free minute.

After she fell completely exhausted asleep last night, Gibbs had decided to stay with her. He didn't want her to be alone, he couldn't blame her. She was so upset, desperate, and he didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone in her grief. And so he spent the night in Jenny's bedroom. Actually he wanted to lie down on the couch in the living room, but the redhead had fallen asleep in his arms.

The night was nerve-racking enough, she was always too awake and had difficulty falling asleep. Just like in the last hours, he felt her sleep become much more restless.

"Hey.", he whispered softly and stroked her back.

She snuggled up tighter against his chest, ran one hand over her face and a deep sigh escaped her throat.

"How are you feeling?", he asked cautiously and stroked a stray curl from her face.

Apart from an incomprehensible grumble, he received no answer from his former partner. But he did not need an answer to understand how dirty she had to be.

"Are you hungry?"

She said no.

"Coffee?"

She said no, and he sighed.

"Jen, don't keep doing this.", he said thoughtfully and stroked her cheek.

"I'm not hungry, I don't want coffee.", she replied harshly and sat up in bed.

"You need to eat a bite, Jen, you haven't had a bite in weeks.", he said with a caring severity in his voice.

Not a good choice of words, because it was obviously not what she wanted to hear. Annoyed she sighed and put her head in her hands. She was sick of hearing it. All the time he explained to her that she had to eat, drink and sleep as if she was a small child who could not make independent decisions.

"I think it's better if you go." she said suddenly and stood up.

"Jen."

"Let go of me!", she hissed as he reached for her arm.

The redhead disappeared into the bathroom, dropped the door into the lock and locked it before Jethro could follow her too.

Unfocused, the gray-haired man sat behind his desk, trying desperately to concentrate on his work, but Jenny just couldn't get out of his head. She was so stubborn, he thought, and tapped the tabletop with his pen. Why didn't she take the time she needed?, he asked himself and took a big sip of coffee.

"Yeah, Gibbs?", he asked into the receiver when his phone started ringing.

"Got some results."

"On my way, Duck."

However, before he got up and went down to the autopsy, he emptied his coffee cup and then threw it in the trash. Good news was just what he needed.

"What now?", she muttered angrily and raised her head.

Her doorbell rang, but she was not expecting visitors. Should iI open?, she asked herself. She preferred to stay lying down, but the ringing repeated. She had to get up!

Annoyed Jen sat up, straightened her hair and got out of bed. For a short moment she got black in her eyes and had to hold on to her bedside table in order not to lose her balance completely. The first signs of her hunger strike appeared, or was it because she got up too fast?

Her unannounced visitor seemed to be getting impatient. The doorbell rang again. Eye-rolling, Jen looked out the window, grabbed her dressing gown hanging from the bathroom door and put it on. With quick steps Jen left her room and ran down the stairs into the antechamber. Full of verve the redhead opened the front door, wanted to give her visitor a lecture, but she was surprised to find that nobody was there anymore. Only a large white vase, with the most beautiful roses she had ever seen, stood on the floor in front of the threshold.

Jennifer Shepard didn't have to think long about who send these beautiful purple roses. There was only one person in D. C. besides her father, who knew of this preference and instantly a broad smile came over her lips.

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