I don't own Warriors. I'm calling these "drabbles" because I have nothing else to call them, soooo... Yeah. Here are some "drabbles" about some of the Warriors characters. They aren't in any particular order, and some jokes you might get, and some you might not get. It's okay if you don't get some of them. Not all of these are jokes, though. And some of the jokes are... stupid.
1. Firestar
As he watched the cats flee with tails high, Firestar wondered why they kept telling him to jump in a river.
2. Scourge
Tiny? Who was tiny? Not him. And his revenge certainly wouldn't be tiny.
3. Onestar
As Onestar remembered Tigerstar, Brokenstar, and the many careless leaders before, he promised not to be like them... Funny how fate works.
4. Purdy
As he scented his own fur, Purdy was starting to see why every cat that came near him gagged.
5. Finleap
When Finleap finally joins StarClan, he may find a part of himself already laying in the sun.
6. Alderheart
As he gazed at his own reflection in the lake, Alderheart was beginning to see why nobody was threatened by him.
7. Bramblestar
Bramblestar may not have had the clearest memory, but he was pretty sure he didn't have a son.
8. Squirrelflight
As she listened to Jaypaw's sharp remarks, Squirrelflight wondered why she had even bothered to raise Leafpool's kits.
9. Crowfeather
As he gazed at Leafpool's brown tabby fur, Crowfeather thought that maybe... he could love again...
10. Jake
When Jake started watching the Star Wars series, he finally understood why everyone was calling him "Darth Vader".
11. Dovewing
Green eyes or blue eyes? Dovewing thought. Then she shrugged. Eh. Why not both?
12. Tigerstar
When Tigerstar accidentally wandered into the "Winnie the Pooh" fandom, he couldn't understand why everyone was calling him "Evil Tigger".
13. Jayfeather
As the kits scattered his herb piles, Jayfeather wondered if anyone would realize if he put the kits in the fresh-kill pile.
14. Bellaleaf
"What's your name?" the stranger asked.
"Bellaleaf."
The stranger gave a disappointed sigh and walked away.
15. Thunder
Yes, because it's a great idea to follow the father who has abandoned you about three times already. You're so logical, Thunder.
16. Reedwhisker
As he became deputy, Reedwhisker thought, Finally! I'll be an important character!
Dreams crushed.
17. Bluefur
"Bluefur, were those new RiverClan kits yours?"
"Nope."
"Okay."
Because everyone believes Bluefur.
18. Leafpool
I'll just walk around with a gigantic belly for moons, Leafpool thought, and nobody will realize I'm pregnant.
Surprisingly, nobody did.
19. Lionblaze
"He had such great character development, and was the opposite of boring!"
We can wish, but we can't change who Lionblaze is. He isn't that. Sarcasm, people.
20. Redtail
"Don't die," Bluestar told Redtail. "You're so important to the story."
He died five seconds later.
21. Jay's Wing
Technically, Jay's Wing founded both the Tribe and the Clans. And since Jayfeather is Jay's Wing...
Well, I guess we need to worship Jayfeather now.
22. Sparkpelt
Firestar 2.0. but worse and with no character development. Sparkpelt is definitely related to Lionblaze.
23. Mapleshade
I'll just murder everyone, and my kits will be so proud of me, Mapleshade thought...
I'm questioning her judgement.
24. Ravenpaw
As Ravenpaw curled up besides the other tom, he felt that he would never leave Barley's side.
25. Puddleshine
Be amazed! The medicine cat who can do everything with only one moon of training: Puddleshine! "He's a miracle-worker," one patient says.
26. Thornclaw
As he was getting ready for the day's patrols, Thornclaw slapped a sticker onto his chest fur that read, "Thornclaw: Patrol Guy".
27. Tallstar
Fireheart looks so much like Jake, Tallstar thought. I need to go get my cologne.
28. Sandstorm
Sandstorm somehow didn't realize that her daughter was pregnant. Slow claps, everyone. Slow claps.
29. Mousefur
"Please, I need my mouse!" Mousefur yowled, causing one cat to die just for a stupid mouse. Amazing, 10/10 quality.
30. Longtail
"Nobody can defeat Longtail!" ThunderClan bragged.
A certain rabbit has something to say about that.
31. Snowkit
Snowkit didn't hear the cries of his Clanmates as he was carried off. He didn't hear their distress. So, as the bird's talons dug into his fur, he thought. Don't they love me?
32. Petalkit, Larchkit, and Patchkit
"It makes perfect sense to cross a river during the storm!" they meowed. Mapleshade isn't a very good caretaker.
33. Breezepelt
Breezepelt buys so many axes on EBay. Somehow, nobody suspects that he's evil.
34. Graystripe
Graystripe buried his nose in his fur, sobbing. "Firestar doesn't like waffles!" he cried.
35. Mistystar
Mistystar: The cat who has lived for eons, and still looks like a young warrior. This is perfectly logical.
36. Gray Wing
Gray Wing curled his body protectively around the small kit. I'll protect you, Thunder. Always, he thought.
37. Cinderpaw
"Why, of course there isn't a Thunderpath right there!" Tigerclaw meows. Cinderpaw believes him, because Tigerclaw is such a trustworthy cat.
38. Bumblestripe
Bumblestripe certainly won't get a restraining order. Wait, he already did?
39. Ivypaw
I'll train with these murder-cats, Ivypaw thought. It's a great idea! And nobody will notice how much I'm bleeding in my sleep!
Wow. I guess nobody did.
40. Crowfrost
Don't you remember Crowfrost? That super important, beneficial deputy that everyone knows about?
No?
41. Yarrow
Yarrow thought that he would certainly get more than one appearance in the Warriors books. I don't think so.
42. Dandelionkit
Dandelionkit is that one kit who was Alderkit and Sparkkit's sibling. Apparently nobody remembers her. That's just... sad.
43. Rainflower
Rainflower padded into the club, her tail swinging. The club was called "Bad Mothers' Club". Very fitting.
44. Blackfoot
Wow, Blackfoot thought. That StarClan cat definitely doesn't look exactly like Jaypaw.
45. Mosskit
I don't like this game... It's cold... Why are we playing this? It's so cold... Mosskit thought. At least she's happy in StarClan now...