Chapter 1: How Hachiman Got Involved In The Holy Grail War.

Or How to Ruin Fate/Stay Night: Carnival Phantasm.

The Holy Grail War. Shirou Emiya faced a problem.

As did Saber. "Shirou, w-what do you, want me to do?"

Shirou was at a loss too. In fact he had never seen her hold the holy sword with such indecision. It almost looked limp in her hand.

"Master, Master!"

"Hai, Master desu."

Shirou almost pitied the other guy.

"You may do as you please with my body." The other servant said. Shirou realised quickly her words were aimed at Saber. "Since, old times, suffering an erotic fate at the hands of your enemies has always been the duty and expectation of a female knight. I'm sure you intend to use those strong arms of yours to lewdly torture and make an example of me in front of everyone. Try it if you think you can!"

Shirou didn't know what to do.

Saber was a blushing mess. "I- I, my intentions are completely noble."

"...Then, then," The Other Servant looked up. "Gilgamesh-"

"Shut up you, perverted, masochist!" Gilgamesh thundered. He nearly lost his balance, and fell to his death. Like Saber, he too was a blushing mess. But he was able to put up a false bravado. "You dare! You dare accuse me of such indecency. I will not allow this! I will not let my noble phantasms be smeared with the blood of such a vile creature. Gate of Babylon!"

Shirou thought he was going to kill her.

But, instead all the open portals full of noble phantasms, vanished.

As did Gilgamesh, disappeared, in gold dust.

"Shirou, let's go." Saber tugged on his sleeve. "I'm hungry."

"Okay. I will make us dinner."

"Master, Master."

"Hai, Master Hachiman Hikigaya, about-to-die-out-of-embarrassment, desu."

"See how they are ignoring us. As if we are the dirt beneath there feet and not even worthy of words. Nor worthy to be abused and humiliated in battle. We don't even get that honour. Doesn't, it make the blood pump in your veins, faster. Like thursts from a-"

"Shirou, hurry!"

"Yeah, I'm coming, Saber!"

And that's how Hachiman Hikigaya survived the Holy Grail War.

By letting his Saber Servant, Darkness, be her rotten self.

-/-/-

A/N: I'm so sorry for writing this fic! Please forgive me.

But, today "Maturity" by lose was updated and I read the new chapter. Then, I read the whole fic, again.

Then, I watched Fate/Stay Night Abridged episode 6.

And before, I knew it, it was late and I couldn't focus on the next chapter for "VSD: CROSSOVER."

P.S.: I renamed it to CROSS - OVER: How He Met Others.

So, I'm sorry about not updating that fic.

But I wanted to write something tonight, so I wrote this.

Hope everyone liked it a little.

Also, there is less than 0.0001% chance of this fic having a next chapter, but still, if it did, here are the options for the next chapter:

Option 1: How Hachiman Won The Holy Grail War.

Option 2: Why Gilgamesh Was Forced To Use Ea.

Please, pick any of the above.