Ezra was texting furiously, hardly able to spare me a glance. I had an idea of what he was doing but I could not voice my strong protests. I was too tired and too weak. How had we gotten to this place? Both willing to sacrifice everything to save the other, but not willing to bridge the growing gap between us. Secrets. There were too many between us.

A ragged breath escaped my lips followed almost immediately by a painful coughing fit. My world went white and the taste of copper and iron filled my mouth. My hand shot up to my mouth almost on its own. Concealing what I was afraid would come out. Afraid to show just badly I was injured. I could feel Ezra's attention on me as I coughed blood into my hand.

The presence that was unlocked in that chamber once again opened an eye. It seemed to be gently pushing me into unconsciousness, but I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I talked Ezra down. Not until I knew he was safe.

The coughing stopped and I laid back down on the sofa.

"I'm fine, Ezra. Please don't do what I think you are about to. Please." My words were whispered and far to weak to be convincing. He had turned is back to me when the coughing had stopped, but I could see the tension that gripped his back. The twitch of his fingers before he balled them into fists. He let out a strained grunt, but made no move toward me or away from me. He just stood there, facing the wall. Closing me out as I had done to him too many times now. "I won't let you die for me. I-I can't Ezra. Please." The words were hardly out of my mouth when he turned sharply and finally faced me.

Pain. So much pain, anger, fear, and something that I could not name lined his face. My own fingers twitch at the sight. Longing to soothe every line away until all that was left was a dead pan face with laughing eyes. My eyes briefly shot to his lips as I wondered if I could kiss away all these emotions. I mentally slapped myself and tried to focus.

"I'm just supposed to watch you die?! Just stand here and watch you choke on your own blood while I do nothing?! Do you think me so unfeeling? Did none of this mean anything to you? How can you ask this of me? I thought you knew. Thought you understood what you mean to me! You can't?" He sneared. Spitting question after question too fast for me to even keep up. All I could do was gape at him as he continued to lose all of the composure and calm that I had taken for granted. "I can't loose you, Tori. Not again. I had prepared myself, you know. So carefully, I prepared to leave you. To loose you. The only thing that even allowed me to breath each day, was the promise that you would be okay. That you would go on to lead a long and happy life. Even if I could not be a part of it. And now you want to give up on me?! You want me to watch you die? No! I won't do it. I will not live for a moment in a world that you don't exist in." He was breathing heavily now. Somehow during his rant he had moved closer to me. So close he was now standing right next to the couch. His considerable height making him almost scary as I lay unable to move on the couch.

"Ezra. I-" My brain was buzzing. I could hardly think as each word he said spiraled into me. Echoing so many of my own thoughts.

Ezra fell to his knees, landing him directly in my eyeline. And so close. I could feel each ragged breath being ripped from him. My hand went to his hair and I saw how red it was. Well. I had done an awesome job of concealing just how badly I was injured, hadn't I. I yanked the offending hand back under the blanket. Ezra's eyes tracked the movement before chocolate and ice met my gaze.

"Stop lying to me." Ezra was whispering now. Each word seeming to cause him more pain.

"I don't know how to do this. I have never- I mean I don't-I-" Coughing racked my body again but this time Ezra scooped me into his arms before setting us back on the couch with me in his lap. The coughs eased and I couldn't hide the wince of pain his movements had caused.

I had decided weeks ago that if I wanted all of him, I had to give all of me in return. But why was it so hard?

The presence was back and becoming more forceful.

Sleep payilas.

I pushed back and focused on Ezra. Words had begun boiling up inside me and I need him to hear them before I let oblivion take me.

"I can't exist in a world without you either. You weren't going to tell me. I understand why, but in your mind I was always going to loose you. That is not a reality I am willing to accept." My words were becoming more and more labored, but I pressed on. "I lied and I know that I hurt you. But please know that was never my intention. In my mind, if I told you what I was doing. What Etteran and I had discussed. I would only be pushing you to an earlier death. This does not excuse my actions, but please know that I was only trying to protect you. I need more time with you Ezra. I want to know you and I want-I want you to know me. The good, the bad, and everything in between. I-" I swallowed. Fighting against my instincts. Against exhaustion. Against her. Ezra's eyes had softened as I spoke, but too many emotions still danced across his face.

"You?" Ezra asked on breath. His chocolate eye saying more than his single word. Pleading with me to say what we both knew. His eye of ice pleading with me to keep my mouth shut and not make this anymore difficult than it already was. I steeled myself.

"I love you, Ezra. I have since the moment I met you. I am hopelessly in love with you." Ezra's eyes widened and tears threatened. I could feel myself slipping away. Could hear each broken part of my body winning this battle. Ezra leaned his head against mine. His lips brushing mine.

"I love you too, Tori."

And with those words darkness claimed me.