It Can't Be Helped (leopika terminal cancer au also is death really an au at this point I mean just read the dark continent arc)
It can't be helped.
Leorio pulled another cigarette from the cheap pack he bought at the corner store nearest to the cemetery. He looked at the thin white pain-go-away stick with such focus he might have been able to light it with his mind. He lay on the grey gloomy grass, the harsh texture of the plant life somewhat soothing to the emotions running through his body. Four inches away from his feet layed a tombstone.
When he limply pulled out the lighter from his usual dress pants pocket and lit the holy stick of happiness, he took a long, savory puff, and sighed, the smoke he exhaled the exact duplication of his current soul's state in chemical format.
It can't be helped.
The day was sunny, and the skies were of a golden-pinkish hue. The sun was setting, the warm winds retreating back to their homes in the obliviousness and confines of the other side. It was times like this when Leorio wondered if that was how God retreated. If that was how easily the good lord left him when Kurapika died. What does it matter? It's not like he ever believed in such a higher power in the first place. But for a moment, for just a little piece in time, the now forever resting blond made him feel like maybe there could be such a thing. At least, he made him feel a higher power must have intervened in their lives to make their time together so blissful.
Oh god. The memories. There were oh, so many, he couldn't possibly have counted them all. Tears streamed down Leorio's face as the flashbacks returned. Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Fear. With Kurapika in the equation he had felt them all with an intensity that could turn the world inside out. Leorio sat up, and locked eyes with the blurry name of his dead lover, carved into stone so lovely it was cruel. He couldn't help but think in that moment that it should have been his name etched into it instead.
It can't be helped.
When he heard of the terminal cancer prognosis Leorio went into a state of mania. Poor soul gathered all the information he could about the disease to no avail. He knew there was no current cure that could help him. But he damn sure wanted to try and make one up himself. He still remembered driving Kurapika to the emergency room, standing there with Gon and Killua while they watched their dear friend enter the sea of afterlife. Holding his hand while he took his very last breath in that dirty blue hospital bed. Leorio shook his head at the memory, laughing cynically into the now evening abyss of sky, his pain dispersing into the atoms of the air around him.
It couldn't be helped.
He walked back to the car he rented for the night, not bothering to look back even once. Each lonely step he took gave him the delusion that he would never see this spot again, like some random occurrence would happen that would suddenly make Kurapika's spot in the cemetery disappear, his tombstone vanishing into thin air. He was afraid that if he looked back, it would already be gone. He sped off in his black car, leaving no sign that life had visited this grim reminder of dark immanence. He sped off, but not before leaving his trace of life, the photo frame of the best friend quartet a gift he hoped would reach Kurapika's soul in Heaven, if God hadn't already held it hostage in his prolonged, selfish and unjustified vacation.