Dream Diary
By: Dasey2020
Disclaimer: Life with Derek is not my own, all characters are not my own.
Hi everyone: Thank you so much for the positive feedback, I have decided to add three more chapters to explore this deeper. š Keep a look out for my next post :)
"Casey, don't you ever want to live dangerously?" Derek's smoldering eyes danced as he leaned over her. "You are kidding yourself if you think Truman is really who you want, he's only a replacement for me. Don't deny it, Casey."
Casey stammered a feeble response. "You really are full of it, Derek, the whole world doesn't revolve around you."
"Tell yourself whatever you want, you know your world revolves around me. I am everywhere, and you can't escape me."
Derek's gaze went over her face, electrifying her without even touching her. She tried to turn away, but his mouth came closer. His lips touched hers, and Casey melted.
Casey woke up with a start, breathing in sharply. What was that? She could feel her pulse threatening to boil over. It wasn't the first dream she had of Derek, but this one had been the most intense. A lot had changed for her ever since they had the conversation in the kitchen where Derek emphasized that he wasn't her brother. He was her step-brother. He had looked completely dismayed by her response of "Same difference."
She had seen the sadness play over his features, and she felt that tension she always felt with him. Was there something else Derek had wanted to tell her? They had gone on to talk about their university adventures to come, but that conversation was haunting her.
She reached over her nightstand and pulled out her dream diary. She wrote down the short, but vivid dream. She looked through the previous dreams the past week and they had all been about Derek. This one was too intense though and struggled to fall asleep afterwards.
Derek was becoming a force larger than her own rationale. There truly wasn't any way she could escape him. He was going to the same university as her. The thought of having him so close, always, was both exciting and irritating. How could she act normal with the constant onslaught of feelings she had for Derek? She'd been in denial, but the security blanket of living at home would no longer be there, and the constant reminder they are a blended family would be gone. How would their relationship change?
She didn't remember falling asleep again, but by next morning she was up. She stumbled out of the bed, realizing she was late for her summer job.
Casey raced through her morning routine, and her diary ended up falling on the ground without her noticing.
She bumped into Derek by the bathroom.
"Sleep walking again, are you Case?" He said mockingly. She looked up at him, the memory of his tempting voice hovered over her.
"I don't have time for your jokes, Derek, let me go in first. Please, I will be late for work."
Derek laughed and blocked the bathroom door. "Casey, have you forgotten you were the one that made the washroom schedule? It's 9 am, it's my turn."
She looked at him pleadingly. "I'll do anything, please Derek."
He rubbed his chin pensively. "Anything?"
Casey nodded; feeling a lump form in her throat as she thought of the dream sequence.
"Fine. I want to use your new laptop." He leaned over her and gave her his signature smile. Derek could get away with crime with that kind of charisma.
Casey rolled her eyes and huffed. "Why?"
"I have a feeling gaming would be much better on a laptop that actually loads quickly."
She relented. "Okay, but you cannot take it into your room. You will leave it on my desk and use it there. You better not snoop through my documents."
"Deal. You better hurry, though Klutzilla. How funny would it be for you to be late on your first day of work?" He moved past her, their shoulders brushing. She went into the bathroom, and shuddered.
Avoiding Derek would indeed be a challenge. She stared at her reflection, and saw a stranger looking back. Who was that helpless person?
Derek went in Casey's room, taking in his surroundings. It felt weird being in there without Casey present, but he made his way to her desk. He looked around the room and smiled, Casey's room smelled so good. It was also incredibly clean; it made his room look like a dump truck.
He thought about the past month and how much things would change for the whole family. Casey was going to Queen's and so was he, he felt butterflies in his stomach as he thought of tormenting her around campus.
He was about to sit in the chair, when he saw a journal lying by the side of the bed. His curiosity piqued. He picked it up, and saw the journal was open to a page. He was about to close it, despite the fact he always wondered what was in her dream journal, he knew it was off limits.
His eyes skimmed the page and saw his name. His blood ran cold for a moment, and although he wanted to respect her privacy, he couldn't help himself. He read the words, the dream she had was so detailed and it was about him. He was shocked. Casey was dreaming about him, he smiled broadly as he read the whole entry. He was completely surprised, he had made peace with the fact she probably would never feel the same for him, but he was looking right into Casey's subconscious, and he felt guilty, but he couldn't stop himself from reading. Casey was dreaming about him, he was elated. While the dream itself was intense, it was Casey's thoughts about it that made him tremble.
Six dreams. I have had six dreams in less than a week about Derek. I can't seem to understand any of this, but what is shocking me the most is I like dreaming of him. It's the closest I'll ever get to him. Why now though? It seems our conversation in the kitchen made me question everything. I was too scared to let him know that I truly have never thought of him as a brother. And dream Derek is right, Truman was a good distraction, but if I'm honest, he is so much like Derek in many ways. However, Derek is an enigma, it's impossible to replace him. Derek is not just my step-brother, he has always been my darkest fantasy. Maybe I kept it locked up, but suddenly it's becoming unhinged, and quickly. Lord help me, I am not sure I can handle these feelings, and proximity to Derek. Maybe it would be best I went to a different University. But at the same time, I want to be where he is. I am so confused.
Derek fell backwards in shock. He thought for sure Casey felt nothing for him after that conversation. He sank down on Casey's bed and lied down. He breathed in her scent and looked at the ceiling completely perplexed. He re-read her words repeatedly, although he was notorious for avoiding his feelings, for once he was allowing himself to let it happen.
Casey has always been much more to him. He thought about the previous relationships he had. Casey had overshadowed every single relationship. Kendra was sweet but he became bored rather quickly as she was too much like him. Sally was very smart and independent, and for sure he began to fall in love with her. She had qualities that had drawn him to Casey, like her beauty, strength, and brains. However, that love was only a fraction of the insane love he'd harbored for Casey all these years. Casey was the voice in his head, she was everything he could ever hope for.
He had never wanted someone as intensely and didn't think he could ever truly get over her. He smiled, he had always known she felt something, but like him she was a master of disguise. He let out a shaky breath, as he fought over what he should do next. He needed to confront her, needed to have an opportunity to at least have the topic out in the open.
Derek came up with a plan, and spent the day finding ways to get everyone in the house to leave for the day. Derek convinced his parents to go on a date, and got Edwin, Lizzie, and Marty to sleep over at their friend's house. He told everyone he wasn't feeling well and could use some quiet, and they all agreed.
Derek waited on his chair, looking at the door frequently. Casey was about to get an earful.
Casey had managed to put aside her crazy thoughts all day, and as she made her way back to the house, she could feel her heart speeding up. She went inside, and it was completely dark.
She stumbled around the darkness and turned the light on. She was shocked to see Derek sitting there, smiling directly at her.
"Derek, where's everyone?" She hung up her coat and tried her best to not look at him.
"They are all away for the night, can you believe it?" He looked at her with that smirk and she fumbled.
"So, it's just you and I tonight? Don't you have a date tonight with Emily?" She tried not to sound too jealous, but him dating her best friend was consuming her mind, more than she would ever admit.
He shook his head. "Actually, I don't think it's going to work out with her. We are going to different schools, it's smart to break it off on good terms." His eyes were shining brightly, and she had to force herself not to full out smile at their break-up. She felt remorse immediately.
"I see. Well, I'm pretty tiredā¦.Night Derek." She started to move up the stairs.
"I guess I'll see you in your dreams, then." He said laughing lightly.
Casey stopped cold. "What did you just say?" Her shoulders were tense, and she couldn't look at him.
"You heard me, Space-Case." His voice was deep and enveloped her entirely.
She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. She gasped. "You jerk, how could you go through my diary?" She made her way down the stairs and towered over him, her face blotchy and red.
"It was an accident, I swear. It's not my fault you left your journal open on the floor. I saw my name, and was intrigued, if you think about it, it's your fault." He smiled at her directly and gave her stomach-churning wink.
She slapped his shoulder. "And that gave you the right to snoop? You are unbelievable!"
He continued to laugh. "So, it sounds like you have a thing for me, Case." His brown eyes were soft, and his lips formed an enchanting smile, hid dimple pronounced.
She could feel her cheeks flaming. "You are infuriating, Derek. I cannot wait to be far away from you! So, I had a dream about you, it means nothing. It's probably just a stress dream since I've feared the changes coming up." She crossed her arms and tried giving him the most defiant look she could muster.
Derek looked at her intensely. "You really are a bad actress." His gaze went over her casually and returned to her face. "Is that why you said I was always your darkest fantasy?"
She was speechless. She turned to leave, but he was suddenly behind her. She could feel his warmth, his body coming close to her. He grabbed her hand to keep her in place.
"Look at me," he pleaded.
She tried to pull away. "Why, so you can just make fun of me? I have had a hard day; I don't need your relentless teasing. Please let go," she said thickly.
"What if I told you, I also have dreamt about you." His soft breath tickled her ear. "Of course, I would never write it down, what kind of person wakes up from a good dream and tries to write about it? Wouldn't you rather live it?"
She was trembling furiously. His hands rubbed up and down her arms. "I thought you were smart, Casey," he teased.
"De-rek! If this is a giant joke, I swear I will punch you and you will never hear from me ever again."
Derek wrapped his arms around her, and slowly turned her to face him.
He looked at her intently. He smiled slowly, frying her brain. "Do I look like I'm joking?"
She finally looked at those chocolate eyes. The eyes that had haunted her the past three years. She was ashamed by the intense reaction he was provoking.
"Derek. I don't know what's going through your head right now. But nothing can happen, okay?" She looked down.
"I'm thinking what the point is of hiding how we feel, do you really want to live the rest of your life tormented by this?" He tilted her chin up softly. She was cast under his spell now.
She breathed. "I have been tormented for years, and I think I can live without you. Just because we can act out on this, doesn't mean we should. A relationship could ruin everything, we are tied together forever, and we just can't afford to act reckless."
He took her hand in his and kissed it gently. "There's nothing reckless about how I feel about you. Please Casey, don't you want to live dangerously? I don't want to have any regrets." He was looking deep in her eyes.
She forced a scoff. "Derek, your only interested now since I'm a novelty, I am not like everyone else. You can't just have fun with me, and act as if nothing ever happened after." She fought against the wobble in her throat.
Derek laughed loudly. "Casey, I didn't realize how blind you were. How could you not see that I've always been here? You know, that there's always been somethingā¦intense between us. It was there the moment you and I met, and I can't see it going away. Ever. You will always be what I want the most, and trust me, I've learned many lessons. Do you remember Scott?"
She managed a nod.
"I was outraged by the fact he even thought of being unfaithful to you. We were similar in every other way, but he made me see that I was head over heels in love with you, and I didn't want to be that guy. It's why all the other relationships I tried harder, I wanted to prove I could be worthy of your love."
She let out a shaky breath. "You love meā¦." Her ocean eyes began to water.
He nodded, and she tried to find any remanence of a joke or hint of the Derek she had come to known. This was the Derek she always wanted and was so jealous whenever he was with anyone else, but like her, he was just trying to survive.
She found herself smiling brightly. "I am hopelessly in love with you, Derek."
He grinned widely. He leaned in and kissed her. It was soft, like a feather's touch. She molded herself closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him, as if he was afraid the dream would end. He deepened the kiss, taking his time to explore the crevice of her mouth. She moaned softly, as his kiss become more passionate and demanding. She wrapped her hands around his neck and gently brushed the nape of his neck with her finger tips. Suddenly, something changed. All the emotions of the past years had finally reached its peak, and the kiss erupted. He pushed her towards the couch, and he was on top of her. They kissed without abandon, and she wrapped her legs around him, needing to feel him as close as possible. The kiss was heavy, passionate, and it made her toes curl. She pushed away all fear, and melted into the kiss, responding with the same incessant hunger and desperation. Derek was a great kisser, all those rumors she heard were right. And he was finally hers, she whimpered as he touched her, as he continued to seek more, giving her all the kisses he had been dying to give her.
Derek stopped for a moment and looked down at her. She could barely make a sound. He murmured gently.
"Do I compare to dream Derek?" He kissed her neck and nipped her ear.
She writhed in his arms. " This is too good to be true. You aren't real, this has to be a dream."
He laughed gently in her ear. "Well then, you are trapped now. There's no escaping me."
He gave her a blistering smile and she tugged his head down and he kissed her intensely. They had years of kisses to make up for, and she knew there was no such thing as life without Derek. Life would never be the same again.