20 Types of people during the corona virus outbreak (feat. Class 1A)
Do I really need to explain anymore? I'm doing things a little differently, this story will be written in script format. I've always wanted to try something like this. Writing this was absolutely hilarious, I hope you like it!!
The Optimist: Ochako Uraraka
Midoriya: Hey... Did you guys hear? There's two cases of corona virus in Japan. I just figured this out like two minutes ago.
Iida: Oh no, that's not good! How do you think the government is gonna handle it?
Midoriya: I don't know. I think they're gonna close schools and everything. I'm kinda worried, I don't want that.
Iida: Yeah, me neither. It's kinda scary.
Uraraka: *spontaneously bursts into the room* Don't worry guys! Everything will be absolutely fine! We're gonna get through this together!
Midoriya: ...Where did you come from?
Uraraka: My mother's womb, where did you come from? *spontaneously bouncing from one foot to the other, grinning from ear to ear* We're gonna be absolutely fine! Everyone is going to be just fine! We're going to get through this and everything is going to be okay!
Iida: I feel threatened.
Uraraka: What do you mean? *eyelid twitches* Everything is absolutely fine!
Midoriya: ...
Iida: ...
*"Run" by AWOLNATION begins playing in the background as Midoriya and Iida scramble over each other to get out the door and away from an adorably confused Uraraka*
The one who always has a plan: Asui Tsuyu
Aizawa: *assigns super difficult homework the day before a big test*
Tsuyu: Don't worry, guys! I have a plan!
League of Villains: *attacks*
Tsuyu: I think I have a plan that might help us get through this.
Corona virus: *breaks out and starts taking over the world*
Tsuyu: Nobody panic! I've got the perfect plan to keep us healthy and safe!
Anyone: *literally fucking dies*
Tsuyu: I've got just the plan for you!
World: *ends*
Tsuyu: Okay so. Here's the plan.
The paranoid one: Izuku Midoriya
Kirishima: *walks into the lounge room and sits down next to Midoriya* Hey, Midoriya!
Midoriya: Umm... Hey... *subtly scoots further away from Kirishima*
Kirishima: How's it going? This whole corona virus is pretty crazy, huh? I've heard talk that they're planning on closing schools!
Midoriya: Yup, seems that's the most likely outcome... *keeps subtly scooting away*
Kirishima: I don't know what I'll do if they close schools.
Midoriya: Okay, so, there's this thing called studying...
Kirishima: Heh, good idea. But I'm too lazy. *glances at Midoriya and does a double take* Uh, are you okay, man?
Midoriya: *jumps a little* Yeah, I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?
Kirishima: Because you were sitting next to me a minute ago... And now you're all the way on the other side of the couch.
Midoriya: Oh. Sorry. I'm just worried about... You know... Germs, and stuff.
Kirishima: Yeah, it's fine. No worries.
Midoriya: Speaking of germs, I'm gonna go wash my hands. I don't want to get sick. *gets up and walks over to the sink, turns it on*
Uraraka: *walks in* Hey, guys.
Kirishima: Oh, hey, Uraraka!
Midoriya: Hey. *puts soap on his hands*
Uraraka: Man, I am super worried about the spread of corona virus. It's moving fast, and people are dying, and they're talking about closing schools! *walks over and casually leans on Midoroya's shoulder*
Midoriya: ...
Uraraka: ...
Midoriya: *realizes she's touching him* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
The controversial one: Katsuki Bakugou
Kaminari: Hey, Kiri? What's up with Bakugou?
Kirishima: *turns the page of the book he's reading* I dunno, Kami. He's been like that ever since he found out that schools are closing for the rest of the year.
Kaminari: Jeez, poor guy. Hope he's okay.
Bakugou: *kicks down the door* THIS IS TYRANNY! THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS! THE GOVERNMENT MUST BE PLOTTING AGAINST US TRYING TO DEPRIVE US OF OUR EDUCATION SO THAT THEY CAN BLAME THE CORONA VIRUS ON DUMB TEENAGERS WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY DUMB TEENAGER HERE IS SPARKY!
Kaminari: Well that's just hurtful.
Kirishima: Bakugou, dude, calm down. You don't have to turn into Shane Dawson's explosive cousin just because we won't have school for awhile. There's no government conspiracy going on, everything is fine.
Bakugou: NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE URARAKA WITH YOUR DAMN REASSURANCES!
Kaminari: I'm starting to think we should give up trying to calm him down ourselves and just dump a bucket of ice water on his head. That should do the trick.
Bakugou: SEE I KNEW IT! ALL OF YOU ARE PLOTTING AGAINST ME! I BET ONE OF YOU IS SECRETLY CARRYING CORONA VIRUS AND ON A MISSION TO INFECT THE ENTIRE SCHOOL SINCE WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE DORMITORY BUILDING TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THE DAMN YEAR!! I BET ONE OF YOU IS OUT TO KILL US ALL!! AND I'LL BET AS MUCH MONEY AS I HAVE THAT IT'S YOU, SPARKY!!!
Kirishima: Dude. Take a chill pill. You can't call someone dumb and then call them a criminal who's plotting manslaughter two seconds later.
Kaminari: Which one do you think I am, Kiri? Retarded or traitor?
Kirishima: *laughs* Oh, that's easy. You're definitely a traitor, dude.
Kaminari: At least that's not as mean as straight-up calling me dumb so I can live with that.
Bakugou: SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU RUSSIAN SPIES!
Kirishima: We're spies now?
Kaminari: Hell yeah. I've always wanted to be a communist.
The career-driven one: Momo Yaoyorozu
Todoroki: *enters the room* Oh. What are you doing here, Momo-Yao?
Yaoyorozu: *is frantically typing away on her laptop as if her life depends on it* I'm working, go away.
Todoroki: That's not nice, we share this building so I have free roam of the place just like you. What even are you doing anyway? There's no school so don't bother telling me you're doing homework.
Yaoyorozu: I told you, I'm working. *exasperated sigh, types even faster*
Todoroki: On? *moves a little closer but stops a safe distance away because social distancing is good*
Yaoyorozu: My future career. I'm not gonna let some stupid virus stymie my ongoing efforts to become a pro hero.
Todoroki: ...You do realize we learn everything we need to be pros from school, right?
Yaoyorozu: Yes, I'm aware.
Todoroki: And schools have been closed.
Yaoyorozu: If you're just going to repeat old news, you can leave.
Todoroki: So how in hell are you focusing on your career if there's no school?
Yaoyorozu: ...
Todoroki: ...
Yaoyorozu: *gets flustered and offended* That's none of your business, Todoroki! I have my ways! Now stop distracting me and let me work or else I'll never achieve the career I wish to have!
Todoroki: Okay, then...
Yaoyorozu: Now get out of here! Shoo, before I grab that broom out of the corner and beat you with it!
*Todoroki wisely chooses to flee the scene*
The broke one: Hanta Sero
Bakugou: Did you guys hear? Restaurants have been forced to close so we can only get takeout and drive thru from them.
Ashido: Oh, that's sad. I'm still hungry though.
Kaminari: Me too.
Kirishima: Dude, you're always hungry so your vote doesn't count.
Kaminari: Fair enough.
Bakugou: So if you guys pay for your own food, I'll run out and get y'all something to eat from like... Wendy's or something.
Kirishima: Oh, sure, I'm down for that. Thanks, Bakugou.
Kaminari: *silently flings money at Bakugou*
Sero: Uh, guys, I hate to be the party pooper but I don't have any cash on me. If one of y'all is willing to help me out, I'll pay you back.
Ashido: Sure, Sero, I gotchu. *gives Bakugou enough money for two people*
Sero: Thanks, Ashido, you're the best!
*A few moments later...*
Kirishima: Who wants to bet money on the fact Sero is broke?
Sero: What do you mean, Kirishima? I'm not broke. I don't even ask you guys for money at all. *takes bite of hamburger*
Ashido: LIAR!
Kaminari: Did you somehow forget that the food you currently have in your hand was payed for by our darling Ashido?
Bakugou: And just a couple days ago I payed for the lettuce you wanted from Walmart.
Kirishima: And last week I helped you pay for some new shoes.
Kaminari: And let's not forget that I'm always paying for skittles when we're at the store together.
Sero: I'm not broke though!
Ashido: Dude... You're totally broke.
Sero: No I'm not. Why do you guys keep saying that?
Bakugou: Stop denying it. We ain't stupid.
Kaminari: Sero. My dude. It's okay to be broke, nobody cares.
Ashido: And since you aren't being honest... *snatches burger away from Sero* I believe this belongs to me.
Sero: Hey! That was my lunch!
Kirishima: Chill out man. Just go to Sato, he's good at cooking. I'm sure he'd be willing to feed you.
The natural cook: Rikido Sato
*Sero walks over to Sato's dorm, politely knocks on the door. A few seconds pass before Sato answers*
Sato: Oh, hey, Sero. What brings you here?
Sero: Nothing much, just the fact that my friends found out I'm broke.
Sato: Took them long enough. I told you that you wouldn't be able to weasel your way out of it forever though.
Sero: Well, now I have nothing to eat and they told me to come to you because apparently you can cook.
Sato: Yeah, I can cook, but not very well. Here, come on in, I'll make you something.
Sero: Thank you.
*He comes inside and sits down at the table. Several moments pass before Sato gives him a plate of piping hot food. Sero begins wolfing it down hungrily*
Sero: *trying to talk around a full mouth* What do you mean you aren't a very good cook? This is delicious!
Sato: I believe I am what they call a natural cook.
Sero: Hell yeah.
*A few moments later*
*Sero has left the scene, leaving behind an empty plate on the table. A knock sounds at Sato's door*
Sato: Huh. I wonder who that could be? *gets up to open it* That's the third visitor today. I wonder what's so interesting about my dorm room? Shouldn't they all be quarantined in theirs? Am I the only one who's following quarantine rules? Should I even be opening the door right now?
*He opens the door and his jaw drops open when he sees roughly half of his classmates standing out in the hallway.*
Midoriya: Hi, Sato!
Uraraka: How are you doing today, buddy?
Sato: *stunned silence*
Bakugou: *casually walking by in the hallway* I can't believe he actually opened the door for you guys. Y'all are hopeless.
Sato: Umm, I'm doing fine, I guess. What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be in your rooms? And isn't crowding my front door considered a mass gathering?
Hagakure: Well, we were in our rooms until Sero told us you were offering free food.
Uraraka: Long story short: we beat feet over to your room.
Sato: *more silence because he is envisioning strangling a certain Sero to death*
Mineta: *pokes Sato's leg* Uh, guys? I think we broke him.
Uraraka: Should we take him to the support team and see if they can fix him? Or do we sneak inside and raid the fridge?
Sato: Absolutely not! Go away, all of you. This could be easily considered a mass gathering, none of you are practicing social distancing, and we're on quarantine! Go back to your rooms! I won't be surprised if the corona virus kills all the lot of you!
*Everyone leaves, grumbling and complaining to each other. Sato never offered free food to anyone again, he started charging five dollars for it. That in itself was enough to keep anyone from asking him again. For good measure, Sato even went and charged Sero for the food he gave him, which he wouldn't have done if Sero hadn't told everyone that Sato was supposedly offering free food.*
The wild one: Eijirou Kirishima
Midoriya: Hey guys! Did y'all remember to wash your hands?
Iida: Yes, as a matter of fact, I have done that six times today.
Todoroki: But you've only been awake for like... Ten minutes, Iida.
Iida: Exactly! *enthusiastic arm-waving intensifies*
*Kirishima enters the room holding a tape measure. The tape measure has been extended out to exactly six feet, and he is brandishing it like a sword*
Kirishima: SOCIAL DISTANCING!
Kaminari: *walks in and makes a face at Kirishima* Okay, I know they told us to stay six feet away from each other at all times, but that's going too far, man.
Kirishima: *hits Kaminari over the head with the extended tape measure* Hey, hey! You're too close, man. Six feet, dude. Six. Fucking. Feet.
Kaminari: That hurt, *rubs his injured head*
Iida: I'm pretty sure he's just joking around, Kaminari.
Midoriya: Yeah. Kirishima isn't the kind of person to promote any sort of healthy behavior, even during times like these.
Kirishima: SOCIAL DISTANCING!
Bakugou: *yelling from another room* WHO THE HELL KEEPS YELLING THAT SOCIAL DISTANCING BULLSHIT? I'M GONNA KILL EM! *runs into the room at top speed, charges right into Kirishima's tape measure*
Kirishima: That's six feet, my guy. I'm gonna have to ask you to stop right there.
Bakugou: ARE YOU SERIOUS???
Kirishima: Yes, I'm quite serious.
Bakugou: ...
Kirishima: ...
Everyone: ...
Kirishima: ...SOCIAL DISTANCING!! *happily parades out of the room with his tape measure in hand*
The dank meme creator: Denki Kaminari
Mineta: Have you guys been on google images lately?
Todoroki: What an odd question. One that I do not feel obligated to answer because knowing you, it's probably a trap of some sort.
Yaoyorozu: Of course I haven't. I've been too busy working.
Iida: No... Why?
Mineta: Starting two days ago, a bunch of new memes have been popping up on the internet. And you know what's crazy? They all have the same watermark Kaminari uses.
Iida: That's preposterous. There's no way Kaminari has time to make so many memes.
Todoroki: Have you met Kaminari? He's like the god of memes.
*Kaminari walks in and sits down, pulls out his phone and starts typing away*
Yaoyorozu: You're being awfully quiet. And it's kinda scary because usually you're the only person who can get louder than Kirishima.
Kaminari: *glances up at her* But I'm still not as loud as Bakugou when he steps on a Lego.
Todoroki: Oh god.
Mineta: You're the one who's been making memes galore, aren't you?
Iida: Good heavens, no! I don't have time for such a ridiculous thing as-
Mineta: I was talking to Kaminari.
Kaminari: Wha..?
Mineta: I asked if you're the one who's making all those memes I keep finding.
Kaminari: Yeah. Why?
Mineta: Dude, you're a legend! So many people have been reposting your works! How do you make so many in such little time??
Kaminari: *shrugs* Oh, that's easy. Most of them I had already made at least three weeks prior. I only just recently started posting them because I got bored.
Mineta: *angry pervert noises*
Todoroki: So you're an internet sensation now... Because of three-week-old memes?
Kaminari: The world is a strange place.
Yaoyorozu: Only our very own Denki Kaminari is capable of going viral because of his memes.
Mineta: Denki? Hah! More of like Danky, amirite??
*everyone casually ignores Mineta*
Kaminari: It's not exactly unique to me, Momo-Yao. Lots of people get popular because of their memes. That's just how the world works.
Yaoyorozu: Do they really? Well, I don't spend very much time looking at memes, so I wouldn't know. You're the expert.
Kaminari: Yes. *Whips out pixel shades and puts them on* Yes I am.
Mineta: *angry pervert noises intensify*
The boss: Tenya Iida
Todoroki: I can't believe it's been almost four weeks now since we haven't had school.
Midoriya: I know, right? Feels like it's been a lot longer than that. I think everyone's doing great with social distancing, like you and I right now. We're a safe six feet apart at least, if not further.
Todoroki: Yeah, we're doing good. We should be proud.
Midoriya: *major ego boost*
Iida: *marches into the room* What are you two doing in here?
Midoriya: We're just... Talking and hanging out, I guess.
Iida: That's not safe at all! Have both of you washed your hands? Did you measure to ensure you are six feet apart? Have you been keeping good personal hygiene? Have you been staying in your dorm rooms? And have you even considered the health and safety of your other classmates?
Midoriya: *ego boost crashes and burns*
Todoroki: Yeah, we've been doing our best to follow the rules. Don't worry. We'll be fine.
Iida: As class representative I simply cannot condone any behavior that may assist in the spread of COVID-19! There are some students here who have underlying health conditions. As such, if they contract this virus, it might very well kill them.
Midoriya: *dead inside*
Todoroki: We know, Iida. Trust me, we're being as careful as we can possibly be right now. You don't have to freak out and come up with grand speeches just to ensure we're okay.
Iida: *sporadic arm flailing* Is sitting out here with each other rather than practicing self-isolation in your dorms really being as careful as you can possibly be?
Todoroki: Well, when you put it that way...
Midoriya: *giggles suddenly* Iida, when you move your arms like that, you remind me of one of those whacky-waving-arm-inflatable-tube men. The ones you see outside of car dealerships and stuff.
Iida: I... What? *flails his arms some more* What exactly are you trying to say, Midoriya?
Todoroki: *laughs* Oh my god, you're right! He does look like one of those!
*Both boys dissolve into a fit of laughter. Iida continues to wave his arms all over the place to emphasize his words without realizing that he is the source of their amusement*
The intellectual: Shoto Todoroki
Midoriya: Hey, did you guys hear? There are now one million cases of corona virus worldwide. Isn't that crazy?
Uraraka: Oh wow, that's insane!
Todoroki: Actually, there are 1,226,644 confirmed cases at the exact moment Ultimatex-chan wrote this sentence, to be precise.
Midoriya: ...
Uraraka: ...
Midoriya: Um, anyway, roughly two hundred thousand people have recovered. So it's not like everyone's just dropping dead left and right.
Todoroki: Actually there are 252,658 confirmed recoveries as we speak. Ultimatex-chan has the official statistics pulled up on her phone to use as reference as she writes, so that's how she knows. Even she isn't omniscient enough to know the exact number of cases without help.
Midoriya: ...
Uraraka: Who is Ultimatex-chan?
Todoroki: Nobody important. Please, continue what you were saying, Midoriya.
Midoriya: ...k. There are not that many deaths worldwide, only roughly sixty thousand. It's not as bad as it could be.
Todoroki: *opens his mouth to speak*
Midoriya: Todoroki, if you say actually one more time I will seriously leap across this couch and strangle you.
Todoroki: *thinks about it for a moment, decides it's worth it*
Todoroki: Actually there are 66,650 confirmed deaths across the globe-
Midoriya: SHUT THE HELL UP! *proceeds to viciously beat Todoroki with a pillow until he dies*
*RIP Shoto Todoroki, 2004-2020. He was too smart for his own good. Damn you, intellectuals.*
The calm one: Mashirao Ojiro
Mineta: Oh my god, this whole corona virus thing is driving me insane!
Kaminari: Same, I can't take it anymore. Now I understand why pets always try to make a run for it as soon as you open the front door to go outside.
Ojiro: I'm strangely okay with all this. *turns page in the book he's reading*
Jiro: I'm not sure how you're managing so well. Everyone else, especially this one *points to Midoriya, whom is nervously fidgeting and muttering in a corner of the room* is kinda freaking out about it.
Yaoyorozu: I myself am a bit unsettled by it all, admittedly.
Kaminari: Yeah, how are you holding up so well, Ojiro?
Ojiro: Uh... That's simple, really. I have a strong immune system and no underlying health conditions, so if I were to get sick, I'd be miserable for a week or two but eventually get over it. I know it won't kill me. Oh, and I'd also pass it along to the rest of you guys, so that's a huge bonus.
Mineta: *has a serious WTF moment and falls out of his chair*
Yaoyorozu: Oh. That's... Cool, I guess...
Jiro: Did you just say that getting us sick would be a huge bonus? Or did I hear that wrong?
Ojiro: Yup, you heard me. *calmly turns another page of his book*
Kaminari: Oh hell yeah! When you contract corona virus, make sure you give it to me first. I've always wanted to die :D
Mineta: *has a plus ultra-sized WTF moment and no-clips through the floor*
Ojiro: Sure man, I gotchu.
Jiro: SERIOUSLY, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO CALM???
Yaoyorozu: JIRO, CALM DOWN!!!
Jiro: I AM CALM!!!
Kaminari: EVERYBODY FUCKING CALM DOWN!!!
Ojiro: *sips tea and continues to read his book in calm, collected silence*
The social media addict: Mina Ashido
Tsuyu: Quarantine is gonna drive me insane. I haven't been outside in three weeks. Ribbit.
Uraraka: Ugh, I know. Don't remind me. *flops over and plays dead*
Jiro: It could be worse. Could be way worse.
Hagakure: *waves her invisible hands enthusiastically* Guess who posted three rants on the corona virus in one day?
Tsuyu: Who?
Hagakure: You'd be surprised, but Ashido did.
Yaoyorozu: Oh, I saw that! She did it on her Instagram and her Snapchat stories.
Uraraka: Me too. She seriously needs to chill. I get it, we're all bored, but ranting on social media and spreading the ongoing panic is no way to fix it.
Tsuyu: Yeah, that's messed up. I'll talk to her next time I see her.
*Ironically, Ashido chooses that exact moment to walk in. She sits down and immediately starts typing on her phone.*
Jiro: Oh, hey, Ashido.
Ashido: *obviously very distracted* Hey.
Uraraka: What are you doing over there?
Yaoyorozu: Based on how focused you are, I'd say it's important.
Ashido: Yes, it's hella important. I'm working on a fresh rant regarding the pandemic we're in.
Tsuyu: Another one?
Uraraka: You need to stop right now!
Yaoyorozu: That is not okay to be doing!
Hagakure: *smiles evilly at the chaos she has caused, but nobody sees it because... Well... You know...*
Jiro: Stop it. Get some help.
Ashido: Y'all are just jealous I'm getting so much attention for these rants. My follower count has increased by nearly 200.
Tsuyu: *triggered frog noises*
Uraraka: I hate to break it to you, honey, but drama is not a good way to get popular.
Ashido: Hang on a sec... *types one more thing on her phone before setting it down and looking up* Sorry, I had to post that real quick. Now, what were all of you saying? I heard next to none of it and understood even less.
Jiro: *scoffs* Forget it.
Uraraka: Yeah.
Yaoyorozu: Let's go steal Kirishima's lunch.
Tsuyu: I'm all for that
*the four of them leave the room. Hagakure has mysteriously vanished. The same day, Ashido discovers all the girls in class 1A have blocked her on all social media platforms. She later asked them why, and they explained it was to avoid her unbearable and absolutely toxic rants she posted every day. The moral of the story? If there's a pandemic going on, don't shitpost about it. It only fuels controversy and panic, which we don't need right now. So just don't do it.*
The show-off: Yuga Aoyama
Aoyama: Can I have everyone's attention for a moment?
Midoriya: Sure, what is it?
Iida: I'm listening...
Todoroki's ghost: Yeah, sure. What's up?
Aoyama: I just wanted to point out that there are absolutely no cases in Japan. I did my research. Aren't I so smart? *strikes a cocky pose*
Todoroki's ghost: Actually, as of the time Ultimatex-chan wrote this sentence, there are 3,497 confirmed cases in Japan. There are also 84 deaths, but 506 people have recovered.
Midoriya: It seems his ghost isn't any less of an intellectual who has a built-in corona virus tracker. Feh.
Aoyama: That can't be true! I am always right! *strikes another pose without realizing he looks completely ridiculous*
Iida: Newsflash, Aoyama, nobody is always right. Even you are capable of being a human and making mistakes.
Todoroki's ghost: Unless he is coming out to us as an alien. Ever think of it that way?
Aoyama: *unintelligible screaming*
Midoriya: Oh, you're right! Maybe he is an alien! And here I was thinking Ashido was the alien. After all, Kaminari is always making that stupid joke that she's the alien he stole from Area 51...
Iida: Har, har.
Todoroki's ghost: Kaminari is the kind of person who actually would storm Area 51.
Aoyama: Excuse me, we aren't talking about him right now! Give me the attention I crave!
Iida: Shush, you.
Midoriya: I wonder if the whole Area 51 thing is actually a dead meme now. If it isn't, I'll have Kaminari take me with him when he goes.
Todoroki's ghost: Yeah, same. That sounds like fun.
Iida: Todoroki, you can't go, remember? You're a spirit that is permanently bound to the pillow Midoriya used to beat you to death.
Todoroki's ghost: *heavy sigh* Oh yeah. I forgot. Why'd you have to kill me, Midoriya?
Midoriya: Tch! It's your own fault for being so damn smart it pushed me over the edge!
Aoyama: *screaming begins again*
The scary one: Fumikage Tokoyami
Ashido: Hey guys, I think we're doing okay. Nobody at U.A. has contracted the virus and it's been three weeks since quarantine began.
Kirishima: What does the three weeks have to do with it?
Ashido: Symptoms of the virus take 14 days to start showing up. We've surpassed that.
Kirishima: Oh, that's lit.
Tokoyami: NO.
*Ashido and Kirishima both look at Tokoyami, startled*
Tokoyami: No, you're wrong. There's a chance some of us are immune to it but have contracted it. Which means they're just carrying it around.
Ashido: ...oh shit.
Kirishima: I... Never thought of that... *shivers* It gives me the heebie-jeebies!
Tokoyami: And just think: one of you could have it right now. And you might give it to someone who won't survive. It'll be all your fault when they suddenly drop dead.
Kirishima: ...
Ashido: ...
Kirishima: ...okay, that's going a bit too far...
Tokoyami: No, it's true! One of you might have it! It could be any of you!
Ashido: And how do we know you don't have it, Tokoyami?
Tokoyami: ...
Kirishima: That's a good point. What if you'll be the one who causes people to drop dead, not us?
Tokoyami: ...
Ashido: Yeah, I bet you are carrying it and trying to blame it on us to cover it up! The perfect crime!
Tokoyami: ...
Kirishima: Thought you got away with it, didn't you?
Ashido: Well, we aren't stupid. Let's go, Kirishima. No reason for us to hang out with a traitor.
Kirishima: Yeah.
*The two of them march out of the room indignantly, thinking they've won the argument, leaving Tokoyami alone in the room.*
Nobody: ...
Tokoyami: Dammit, I hate it when people don't realize I'm joking.
The crybaby: Minorou Mineta
Yaoyorozu: *leans back into her chair and sighs* It's been a long day... I'm just glad it's almost over.
Todoroki's ghost: You and me both, pal. I've been stuck to this damn pillow for the past week. If you thought being quarantined in a building was bad, think again! I'm basically quarantined to this pillow.
Midoriya: *shrugs* That's what you get for being obnoxiously smart.
Yaoyorozu: That's life.
Todoroki's ghost: *sad rejected dead boi noises*
*A loud, high-pitched scream sounds in the next room, along with running footsteps*
Midoriya: Whoa, sounds like someone's being murdered over there. I wonder if it's another intellectual?
Todoroki's ghost: Stop rubbing it in!
Yaoyorozu: Don't bother worrying, sounds like Mineta. I'd know that little pervert's annoying scream anywhere.
*Mineta bursts into the room, sobbing hysterically*
Mineta: Guys! You have to help me! *wailing and sobbing intensifies*
Midoriya: What's wrong? Did something happen?
Yaoyorozu: *rolls her eyes* Don't waste your time or your breath, I'm sure he's fine.
Mineta: Yes, something did happen! Tokoyami told me that one of you might be carrying the virus because you're immune to it, that you're gonna spread it to the rest of us, and I'm scared because I don't want to dieeeee... *flops on the ground and cries some more*
Tokoyami: *shouts from the next room over* I WAS JOKING, GODDAMMIT!!!
Midoriya: See, Mineta? Everything's fine. He was just messing with you.
Mineta: Whaaaaaaaa! *continues to sob like a baby*
Yaoyorozu: Pull yourself together, pervert. Crying isn't a good look on you.
Mineta: *sobbing intensifies*
Todoroki's ghost: Oh, for heaven's sakes, you're fine. Chill out. It was just a joke.
Mineta: Shut it, pillowface.
Todoroki's ghost: *more sad rejected dead boi noises*
Midoriya: Hey, nobody gets to insult Todoroki! Except me!
Mineta: Wha..?
Midoriya: Get the fuck out! *chases Mineta away*
The brutally honest one: Kyoka Jiro
Kaminari: Whoooof, I'm tired. *flops down on the couch*
Jiro: Then go take a nap, dumbass.
Kaminari: No, I don't want to sleep through bedtime.
Kirishima: FACTS.
Jiro: ...
Kaminari: Earlier Tokoyami tried to sell me on this random bullshit that I might be immune to the corona virus. He said I might be carrying it and spreading it to all of you. I didn't believe a word of it.
Kirishima: Oh really? He told me and Ashido the same thing earlier.
Kaminari: That's sad.
Jiro: I hate to be captain obvious, but if corona virus were to break out at U.A., the first person to die would be you, Kaminari.
Kaminari: *visible confusion*
Kirishima: That's kinda mean, Jiro. What makes you say that?
Jiro: The dumb ones always die first.
Kirishima: ...
Kaminari: *surprised Pikachu face*
Kirishima: She's wrong, man. You ain't gonna die. Why are you being so mean, Jiro?
Jiro: I'm not mean. I'm just honest. :)
Kaminari: *surprised Pikachu face intensifies*
Kirishima: ...Fair enough.
The cool one: Mezo Shoji
Midoriya: Well, we're almost at the end of our countdown. Almost all of us have had a chance to demonstrate the kind of person we are during the corona virus.
Uraraka: Why'd I have to be the first one? That's so embarrassing!
Iida: I think you did great!
Yaoyorozu: Where's Todoroki?
Midoriya: He tried to give me more intellectual bullshit so I took his pillow to the darkest closet and locked him in there for awhile.
Bakugou: Am I the only one who finds it strange that we have a haunted pillow in our school?
Jiro: What makes it weird is the fact it's haunted by one of our classmates.
Kirishima: And what makes it really weird is the fact our classmate was beat to death by another classmate. With a fucking pillow.
Midoriya: We don't speak of that here.
Kaminari: No we do not.
Hagakure: You've been awfully quiet throughout this whole thing, Shoji...
Mineta: Yeah, you haven't said a word!
Shoji: Of course not.
Tokoyami: Is there a reason for your silence?
Shoji: Of course there is.
Ashido: Care to share?
Tsuyu: Yeah, I'm really quite curious... Ribbit...
Shoji: It's simple, really.
*Everyone leans closer as he pauses for effect. The suspense is killing them.*
Shoji: I don't care.
Uraraka: WOW! *claps her hands enthusiastically*
*everyone else joins in a second later until everyone except Shoji is clapping*
Ashido: Wow, dude. Your carelessness got you a standing ovation. That's impressive.
Midoriya: I know, right? He's so cool.
Bakugou: *makes a face* That's one way to describe what's going on here...
Shoji: Did I ask?
The quiet one: Koji Koda
Todoroki's ghost: Thank you, Kaminari, for finally taking me out of that closet.
Kaminari: No problem, man.
Kirishima: OOOOOO, TODOROKI CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET!!
Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOO
Bakugou: HAH! GAAAAAAAYYYY!!!
Todoroki's ghost: Nani???
Kaminari: *politely raises his hand before speaking* Actually, he didn't come out of the closet. I carried his pillow out of the closet and put it back in here. Isn't that... Forced closet removal, or something?
Ashido: Bitch is you dumb?
Jiro: Yes, yes he is.
Kaminari: ...*surprised Pikachu face*
Iida: EVERYONE SHUT UP! We're nearly done with our 20 types of people project! But we're still missing one person!
Todoroki's ghost: Actually, we're missing two.
Midoriya: Shut up, smartass, or else I'll kill your ghost too.
Todoroki's ghost: ...okay, then.
Iida: So, who are we missing?
Jiro: We're missing Koda. He's been completely silent this entire time.
Iida: Is that true, Koda?
Koda: ...
Iida: Well? Is it?
Koda: ...
Everyone: ...
The world: ...
*A cricket begins chirping in the background*
Mineta: Well, this is awkward.
The clueless one: Tora Hagakure
Midoriya: Guys? We're finally finished!
Everyone: YAAAAAAYYYY!!!
Midoriya: We finally finished all 20 types of people during the corona virus outbreak! How lit is that?
Todoroki's ghost: Actually we only did 19. We're still missing one.
Midoriya: How stupid do you think I am? We got everyone!
Todoroki's ghost: I tried to tell you earlier, you wouldn't listen. Stubborn asshole.
Midoriya: I'LL SHOW YOU STUBBORN!!! *grabs the nearest pillow and beats Todoroki's ghost with it*
Iida: Wait, I think Todoroki's right. We missed one.
Midoriya: Oh. Well. Too late now.
Todoroki's ghost: *is legally deceased. RIP.*
Uraraka: SERIOUSLY? I thought we were done! I am so ready to just be done!
Bakugou: Yeah, I'm with her! Who the hell did we miss and why didn't they speak up earlier??
Shoji: I think it's because the someone you missed is invisible. *gestures to Hagakure*
Iida: OH! That makes perfect sense! My apologies, everyone, this is entirely my fault.
Tsuyu: Hagakure!
Hagakure: Huh?
Tsuyu: It's your turn. What kind of person are you?
Hagakure: *invisible confusion* Uhhh... What? What are we talking about?
Midoriya: The corona virus. What kind of person are you during it?
Hagakure: ...
Everyone: ...
The world: ...
The universe: ...
Hagakure: ...What's a corona virus?
THE END.