I'm not normally a tag person, but I felt like I needed to write one for the end of the show. This is a pick-me-up kind of a tag, because let's be honest. We all need some happiness right now.
It took him two months to realize he wasn't the man he used to be. In his younger days, he had never been able to sit still in one place for long. He wasn't sure if he had been like that before joining the Navy or if it had happened when he became a SEAL. Traveling to new places, meeting new people, facing new dangers, that had been his life until he had returned to Hawaii to bury his father.
And now that he was doing what he had been before his father's death, sans the classified missions, he realized that the last ten years on the island had changed him.
He and Catherine had bounced around the world for those two months, enjoying their freedom and enjoying reconnecting. However, even though the time away had helped clear his head and refresh his spirits, he hadn't truly found his peace. He was beginning to think true peace was unattainable.
Sitting in the hammock on the balcony of their hotel room in Cozumel, Mexico, enjoying a cup of rich coffee, staring out at the calm turquoise waters, he still checked his phone.
He hadn't lied to Danny. He wasn't planning on going completely radio silent. The rant he'd received when he'd returned home from hunting down Wo Fat in Japan all those years ago had left its mark. He had people who cared about and worried over him, now.
At least once a day he had texted his partner to check up on him and let him know he was still alive. Heck, he'd even sent a few pictures of various locations he and Cath had visited. Danny in turn had sent one back of the beach behind his house, one of Eddie, and one of burnt eggs.
Knowing his partner to be evasive and prone to understating his well being to not worry him, because Danny was definitely one who wouldn't want to disturb his peace finding mission with the unsavory details of his recovery, he had kept in touch with Junior, as well. He relied on the younger man to tell it to him straight.
Junior had relayed that the first two weeks had been rough. Both Danny and Eddie had fallen into a depression and were hardly eating. That alone almost worried Steve enough to return to the island.
And then Junior texted that Grace had arrived on the island when college on the mainland let out. It was like manna from heaven.
Danny perked up. His old snarky self returned. He started eating. His recovery moved along and he started physical therapy. Eddie picked up on the elevated mood and started eating, too, now happy to go on runs with Junior and Tani.
That knowledge enabled Steve to stay away longer. Grace had grown into a strong willed, hard headed young woman who was more than capable of bringing her dad out of the dumps.
A small knot sat in his chest. He'd been the cause of Danny being in the dumps in the first place. Leaving only a week after he'd narrowly pulled through getting shot yet again hadn't been his greatest move. It had been an impulsive decision. And hadn't Danny always warned him that his shoot first, ask questions later attitude would cause trouble?
The least he could have done is waited at least another week or two, made sure Danny was metaphorically and physically back on his feet.
A warm breeze rustled the palm trees next to the balcony. The salty sea air washed over him. For a minute, he was sitting back on his beach with a beer and Danny complaining about something or other.
He sighed.
"I know that face."
He looked up at Cath as she slipped out of the sliding glass door and sat herself in the chair next to the hammock. She propped her feet up on his legs.
"What face?" he asked.
She grinned at him. "I think Danny called it Aneurism Face."
"This?" He swirled a finger around his face. "This isn't Aneurism Face. Apparently, that one's angrier looking."
"Then what is this face?" she asked.
He looked at his phone then out at the water again. "I don't know."
She gently rocked the hammock, nodding her head. "I know what it is."
He looked at her with a perked brow.
"It's Homesick Face."
"That obvious?" he asked sheepishly.
She continued nodding.
He set his coffee mug down on the ground and laced his fingers behind his head. He stared at the ceiling of the overhang of the balcony, picking out chips of missing paint and small lizards hiding in the corners.
"I thought getting away from the island would feel different," he said.
"And it hasn't?" she asked. "You seem more relaxed."
"I didn't think I'd miss it as much," he said.
"You didn't think you'd miss the island as much, or the team?"
He glanced at her. She knew. Even after all these years, she knew him. Even after them having discussed how they weren't in sync nor on the same paths in their lives anymore, she still knew.
"When my dad shipped Mary and me off to the mainland, I didn't have a lot of friends. I thought my mom was dead and I was mad at my dad," he said. She'd heard it already, but he felt like he needed to say it out loud. Must have picked that up from a certain loudmouth. "Back then, I didn't have anything to miss on the island. That's why I hadn't been back for so long until Dad died."
"And now?"
"Now…" He trailed off. Looked at the beach down below. Imagined the smell of barbeque in his backyard. Eddie barking and playing with Grace and Charlie. Junior and Tani not so subtly flirting. Adam and Quinn laughing at one of Lou's stories. Danny griping at him for putting pineapple on the hamburgers.
"Now, I have ohana there," he finished quietly.
"Steve."
He pulled his gaze from the familiar yet different ocean to look at her.
"I have loved being with you these last two months," she said. "But, I'm a big girl. I know that this, this whole traveling the world together thing, can't last forever."
"I know."
"And, I know that we're not like we used to be."
He nodded. He knew that, too. "You know I'll always love you, Cath."
"And I'll always love you, Sailor," she said with a smile. "But, I don't know if we'll ever be in love with each other again."
Once upon a time, he saw a future with them together forever. Now, even when she had first appeared on the plane in Honolulu and their hands had intertwined, he didn't see that happening. They'd made their choices, and they'd made their peace with them. She wanted to stay in the world of spies and espionage, and he could hear an island calling his name.
"So. What now?" he asked.
She stood up and bent over him, planting a kiss on his forehead. "Now, you go home."
Okay. Maybe he had lied to Danny a little. But he'd crafted a cover story so he didn't raise suspicions. He'd texted him the day before his flight left something about having a long day out in the boons and not being able to get in contact with him for a day or two.
Steve blew out a breath and raised his hand to knock on the door. His door.
There was a shiny new Camaro parked out front. A silver one. A car he didn't recognize was parked behind it, and he realized with a start it must have been the car someone had loaned to Grace.
The yard was lush and taken care of, even if the grass was a bit taller than he typically kept it. The hibiscus plants were full of fragrant flowers and butterflies danced all over them. The porch had a few new flowerpots, he'd guess either curtesy of Grace or Tani.
He knocked.
Inside, Eddie barked once. Twice. Then there was a voice telling him to hush and the thud of feet coming down the stairs.
The door swung open.
Steve smirked at Danny's face.
"See bud, I told you it wouldn't be forever," he said.
Danny, for his part, looked torn between punching him or hugging him. Thankfully, he went for the latter.
Steve embraced him tightly while Eddie sniffed and whined at his feet, his tail wagging so fast his whole body wiggled. Danny felt solid, smelled clean, looked bright eyed. And he could feel his muscles release tension that they had been holding for who knew how long the longer they hugged.
Danny clapped his back and pulled away. A grin tugged at his lips. "So, did you wander the earth and find your peace?"
"I did just now," he said.
"Uncle Steve!"
Grace collided with him, throwing her arms around his neck. He remembered when she was only waist high to him. Almost losing her had been one of the scariest moments in his life, rivaled only by almost losing her dad.
"I missed you, Gracie," he said into her hair.
"I missed you, too," she said. She stepped away. "I just made lunch. You want some?"
"Of course he does," Danny answered for him. He grasped his shoulder. "I mean, you are staying long enough to eat, right?"
Steve made a face. "Staying long enough to eat? I'm moving back in, so I hope you haven't wrecked my bedroom."
Grace grinned and headed into the kitchen, leaving him and Danny standing in the living room.
"Me? Oh no. I live in the guest bedroom. I'm sure mini-SEAL Junior has kept your bedroom as immaculate as you did," Danny said and waved his hand upstairs.
Steve hadn't realized how much he had missed the hand gestures.
"So, you're staying for real?" Danny asked, and some of the joy had leaked out of his eyes.
The guilt at having left so abruptly and so soon after Danny's near death resurfaced. He couldn't imagine what Danny had felt after he'd departed without much warning with no promised return date.
There would be an apology later, and hopefully it wouldn't be stuck in the pending acceptance stage for too long.
Steve shrugged. "Hawaii's home. My peace is here, not out there."
Relief flashed in Danny's eyes, and then the ornery twinkle Steve knew and loved made an appearance. "Well, you might reconsider your words here soon, because I fully intend on handing the reins to Five-0 back over to you. That Lincoln guy is as bad as you were when we first met."
Steve chuckled and followed his partner towards the kitchen. "You sure?"
"Babe, the man used a grenade to blow a door off its hinges. I started having a bad case of déjà vu. And don't even get me started on what he did to one of our suspects…"
As Danny proceeded to fill him in on the team's latest escapades, a warmth filled Steve's chest. This was his home. This was where his peace was. It only took him leaving to figure that out.
And he didn't plan on leaving again anytime soon.
What'd you think? Perhaps at some point I'll write Danny's perspective.
Thanks for reading!
