Just something I wrote when I was bored and procrastinating editing "attacking me." Hope you enjoy.

Raven sat quietly in the safe house, staring out of the window, whilst Nero studied a laptop nearby. They had been in the safe house for 8 hours now, waiting for news on their target; a high profiled businessman by the name of John Warren, who was hell-bent on selling nuclear weapons to the highest bidder. Nothing had shown up yet, but Raven was confident he was in the city.

Just as it was getting dark, a message pinged on the laptop Nero was gazing at with glassy eyes. Raven turned towards Nero as he began to read the message.

"Businessman John Warren will tonight attend a charity ball at Hotel Macquarie, where it is expected he will make generous donations to various charities. Mr Warren says he is…" Nero trailed off, looking expectantly at Raven.

"How long have we got?"

"It starts in 25 minutes and the hotel's 5 minutes away. Can you get ready in that time?"

Raven stared at him. "Can I get ready for a charity ball in 20 minutes? Are you joking?"

"So you can?" Nero looked pleasantly surprised.

"No!" Raven yelled. "Just because I can track a man down and kill him in 20 minutes doesn't mean I can get ready for a high-profile event in that time! I'm an assassin, not a freaking model!"

"Surely it won't take you that long, I mean…" Nero trailed off as he saw the look on Raven's face.
"I'll see if we can arrange a traffic block or something."

Raven nodded, and stalked to the bathroom.

10 minutes later:

"How are you going Raven?" Nero's call echoed through the locked bathroom door.

Perched precariously on the edge of the bath, Raven steadied the razor as she shaved her leg. 'Men have it so easy being assassins,' she thought enviously. It must be nice just to slip on a suit, shave your face and go out and kill someone. None of this shave half your body, wrestle yourself into stockings and Spanx, do a full face of make-up and try to control your mop of hair, before trying to run in heels, in order to kill someone!

"Raven?" Nero's voice snapped Raven out of her daydreaming, causing the razor to slip. She cursed loudly.

"Fine, fine, I'm doing fine!" Blood from the cut started to pool and dribble down her leg, making the bathtub look like a small murder scene.

"How much longer will you be? I'm not sure how long we can delay traffic for without arousing suspicion."

Raven frantically grabbed a tissue and attempted to stop the flow of blood coming from her leg.

"Just keep him delayed for a bit longer, I'm nearly done."

'Nearly done my butt,' Raven thought, sticking a Band-Aid on her cut, and picking up the razor again.

Another 10 minutes later:

"Max?" Raven called, sticking her head out of the bathroom. "Max, I need a hand."

Nero walked quickly from the lounge room and stopped short when he saw Raven standing in the doorway. Shoving pins into his hand she turned around, and positioned a long brown wig on her head.

"Can you pin this for me?"

"What are you wearing?" Nero asked, staring at the pale, skin-tight garments Raven was wearing, ignoring what she had just asked.

"It's called Spanx, Max, most women wear it."

"But why? It looks so tight; what does it even do?"

"It hides your fat Max. Just pin my wig, would you?" Nero started sliding pins into Raven's hair.

"But why do you need it, you don't have anything to hide! No-one should have to wear this just to hide their fat!"

Raven sighed. "I'm wearing a bodycon dress Max, they show every tiny bit of fat you have. If I don't wear Spanx, I won't blend in, so our plan will be ruined." Raven shook her head vigorously and the wig flapped around.

"Ugh, no Max, no, you're not doing it right, you have to… Ugh!" Raven snatched the wig pins out of Nero's hands and disappeared back into the bathroom.

Nero looked around, still thinking. Why did people wear Spanx?

15 minutes later:

"Max, can you grab me a permanent marker from the kitchen?"

"Why?" Nero's voice sounded strained, like he was adjusting his bow-tie.

"Don't ask, just do!"

A few moments later Nero appeared at the bathroom door, holding a thin permanent marker, and with a perfectly straight bow-tie. Raven grabbed it from him and returned to the mirror, where she proceeded to trace her eyelid.

"Isn't that, um, permanent? And…" Nero paused staring at the multiple transparent beige garments strewn across the floor. "Ah, what precisely is that on the floor?"

"It's not permanent if you scrub it off hard enough Max. And before you ask, no. I do not have normal eyeliner, because you don't really need normal eyeliner to disguise yourself, you only need it for fancy things." Turning to face Nero, Raven continued.

"The things on the floor were my stockings. I'm not wearing them because I tore three pairs in 2 minutes, and they cost $20 each. Now if you don't mind, I need to finish getting ready, or we're not going to get into the event."

Another 10 minutes later:

Raven stood in the bathroom, trying to find more places to conceal her multiple weapons. Her coat already had two guns, her tactical vest and a retractable katana, but she didn't want to go into an unknown situation without enough weapons to kill a squadron of other assassins. While contemplating where she could put another knife, Raven glanced at the clock. It had taken her 45 minutes to get fully ready; not a bad effort, all things considered.

"Raven!" Nero called from the lounge room.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Raven yelled, grabbing her various weapons – she would find a place for them later.

"You need to see this, come quickly!"

Raven dashed into the living room, attaching a knife sheath to her thigh while she ran. Whilst it was horribly cliché, it would have to do.

The small television in the apartment was on, and a newscaster was standing in front of a glitzy hotel, with police cars swarming in the background.

"In breaking news, we have multiple reports that tonight's planned charity ball has been cancelled, due to an assassination attempt on John Warren. Mr Warren is apparently unharmed, but the ball will be postponed indefinitely. It is alleged that the assassin was male, freshly shaven and wearing a suit."

Nero turned off the screen and glanced at Raven, who stood fuming.

"Whoever did this," Raven growled, clutching her handbag and coat tightly, "I am going to find them, and I am going to kill them." She started for the door.
"I didn't spend 45 minutes trying to conform to society's stupid expectations just for a man to get ready in 20 bloody minutes and steal my job! Let's see how he likes having 20 minutes left to live!"

The door slammed shut, and Nero sighed. Society was stupid sometimes.

Hope everyone is keeping safe in this crazy time! I will attempt to upload another chapter of Attacking Me sometime during this whole debarcle. Reviews make my day and help me keep motivated! (I know, this is cliche... But it's true!)

Stay safe, stay home and keep washing your hands!

Couscous :)