I'm very happy to have managed to write a kakasaku, this ship has a lot of potential!
Thanks in advance for the reviews s2
This is an english version of my fanfic "Lie to me".
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The silence in his office allows Kakashi's mind to wander through his thoughts. In fact, the only sound you could hear was the pounding of the clock hanging on the wall, which worked tirelessly (just like him) in that office. On his desk, piles of paper are piled up and he was with dark circles under his eyes.
Who knew that one day he would become a Hokage? A Hokage committed to what he does, by the way.
He never wanted to be a Hokage.
But what people didn't know, and he liked to keep inside himself and only for himself, is that he was making a good sacrifice, not only for the village, but for his ex-student, Naruto. Post-war bureaucracy was not for Naruto. He had sown the seed of the union, but the bad part, the bureaucratic and political, Kakashi and Shikamaru tried to do with mastery, or at least leave everything directed for him to take over and this involved not sleeping and never being late.
Another sound caught his attention and this time it was the door opening, revealing his ex-student. His thoughts wandered, this time aimlessly, without modesty, and he almost instinctively reached out to reach her. He would like to say that it was all worth it if he knew she would be there at the end of the day, but he just smirked under his mask. He looked quickly at his watch to realize it was half past seven. Probably she had just left her duty at the hospital and he didn't even see the time go by.
"How about one or two sakēs?" She just said, smiling. He noticed that she was just as or more tired than he was.
With Sakura, everything was simple. She didn't need to say that she needed company, however, he was happy she asked for him.
He just arranged the stacks of paper on his desk and removed his cover, remaining in his normal ninja clothes.
"I'll take it." He said, getting up.
.
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At the bar, her green eyes reflected the orange drink she was enjoying. Sakē was just for him. He wanted to ask why the sudden change in their menu and routine, after all, sakē between them was like a ritual, but he imagined what it was. That day it had been a year since he left. Again.
The date was crossed out with a badly made circle on his calendar and, for her, it was marked in her memory, he imagined. A date like that didn't need to be remembered, it was marked in her heart and it always would be. In his too, however.
Kakashi traced his index finger on the rim of his own glass, thinking about how to break the silence that settled right after their drinks arrived. And she shook the orange liquid, bored and thoughtful.
"Today I lost a patient in the hospital, Kakashi..." She started, her eyes wandering over the drinks displayed on the shelf at the bottom of the bar. "He was so young, so small... And I wasn't enough..."
"I'm sure you did everything you could." He concluded, taking a long swig of his sakē.
"Still... it wasn't enough."
"Sakura, things like that are going to happen, unfortunately. Don't blame yourself for that, you are excellent. If I had to name how important you are to the village, we would keep drinking sakē until tomorrow. Anyway, I don't want my best doctor to go on call tomorrow with a hangover." He smirked.
She returned the smile and sipped her drink.
How she was determined. And beautiful.
She was so beautiful that it really hurt.
He doesn't remember how they got in this situation. It all started with them meeting on the way home after extensive duty in their respective jobs. It started with a timid invitation here, one date or another there, and for months they enjoyed each other's conversation and their good company.
However, these casual encounters only confirmed what he had known for some time and wanted to deny. Falling in love with her was one of the most difficult things he had to endure. It was painful and wonderful at the same time. It wasn't like getting hurt on a successful mission, it was a bittersweet feeling. She was a wonderful person and he was able to admire all of her nuances. But he knew it was something platonic, unreachable, and sometimes it was okay. And on other days, it was hard to bear.
"Did you never want to have children, Kakashi?"
Something inside him shuddered. It's not like he never imagined a boy with silver hair and green eyes. The only time he thought about it, however.
"I never thought about that." He lied. "But I'm comfortable this way."
"I think about it quite often now... Incidentally, today, it's..." She closed her eyes.
His heart hammered painfully in his chest.
"Maybe he'll never come back, Sakura." He poured, tapping the glass roughly on the counter, after taking the last shot. "And even though I understand his genuine mission of redemption, I don't understand how he can stay away from you for so long." He looked her in the eye. "I couldn't."
It was too late, he had said that. If he thought about it, maybe he could blame it on the drink later. But his heart is racing as if he's running. He's one step closer to screwing it up even more and he knows it.
Her eyes widened at him.
However, he doesn't care.
He forward, breaking the space between them, quickly lowers his mask and kisses her delicate lips as he had wanted for some time. He kisses her and kisses her as he would like to kiss any part of her body, regardless of whether he would be reciprocated or not. She moans against his mouth and he doesn't know if it is of delight or denial, however, moments later her hot tongue corresponds to his and he feels himself in heaven.
.
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When he lays her down on her delicate bed, she hesitates for a moment under the soft white sheets.
She gives him a look of acceptance.
And then she pretends.
Does she touch him because she wants him? Because she loves him? Or simply because she wants to please this miserable being for one time?
He doesn't know and he doesn't care.
In his heart, in the middle of that wave of pleasant torpor, he thinks that her touch, her acceptance, the way in which she longed for his body was a sign of affection. Somewhere inside her was room for yet another feeling. A feeling for him.
Crumbs.
He kisses her whole body and she reciprocates by contouring his muscles with her delicate hands. The rough hands of an experienced ninja strokes her thighs, her back and fits perfectly on her soft hip. His tongue finds its way between her legs, the place she blushes when pleading and makes her look more beautiful than ever.
She doesn't deny it. She doesn't say anything. And she lies.
He wishes somewhere in his mind that that night would last more than just once.
And when he feels she's ready, he looks her in the eye again, hoping she'll deny him, hoping she'll regret it, but she doesn't. She pretends.
She touches him because she wants him, he touches her because in addition to wanting her, he loves her. And everything is fine. Sakura moans because it is pleasure, Kakashi is ecstatic because it is Sakura. Kakashi feels connected to her, and Sakura needed sex that night, or maybe to connect with something or someone. It doesn't matter, he doesn't want to know. Her mouth also runs all over his body, but never his mouth (okay, maybe she's not ready for that kind of thing yet).
And he knows that she would never be.
The moonlight reflects her white skin as they fuck (or make love - love only). Kakashi knows that his time is running out, so he records that scene in his memory: her eyes rolling with the pleasure he gave her, her cheeks pink in a tone below her hair, sweat running under her lap.
The date leaves both satisfied (but perhaps she is pretend).
He rolls over to her side. She looks at him.
His breathing stops for a moment.
Kakashi uses his fingertip to trace across her face, causing chills. He removes a tangle of sweaty hair from her cheeks, leans down again and kisses her.
And she actually kisses him for the first time, fiercely, desperately, as if their time is set to end. And it was set to end.
His hands roamed her body along with hers. When they split up, he buries his face over her neck, out of breath. He says goodbye wanting to say something more, but he doesn't say it.
She pretends to understand.
And she falls asleep.
..
When he entered the house, he automatically lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, his eyes watering but he was not sure why. He loved his team and loved Sasuke with all the brotherly love he was capable of feeling. But maybe Sasuke would never really come back. And Kakashi wished that somewhere inside Sakura, she wished the same.
Or at least she could lie.