A/N: Thanks for reading this story. If you're an long time reader of my stuff, there's a quick synopsis about the status of everything at the end.

The Love of a Friend

Have you ever read those romance novels where the soldier and nurse fell in love? You know the ones; where the naive and handsome soldier was injured in a major battle for some terrible but just war, and was transferred to a hospital far from the fight. While recuperating, he met the idealistic and sometimes annoyingly stubborn nurse who patched him up. Of course when they finally came to terms with their feelings, the soldier was shipped out to the front lines. You know, to build drama and all that nonsense. Then, at the end of the war, when all thought he was deceased, he returned to her and asked for her hand in marriage.

Doctor Karin Chakwas knew all of those types of novels to heart and could probably recite a few from memory alone. You could say it was her guilty pleasure. That's why, embarrassingly as it was to admit, it was the main reason why she joined the military.

You see, those stories inspired her to experience her own exotic and romantic adventure, hoping to find her own rough, but kindhearted soldier along the way. Unfortunately, the Alliance was not as romantic as she had originally perceived it to be. From the liberation of Shanxi to the Skyllian Blitz, she saw firsthand what conflicts do to those kindhearted soldiers she used to desire. Those she was able to save were broken physically or mentally and in the extreme cases, both. The lucky few that were either unscathed or unfazed from the dastardly truth of combat, left her alone without even uttering a goodbye. So she grew up, focusing more on her skills as a doctor and her career.

But that was before she had met him. Before she met Shepard.

If Karin was being honest, she does not know when exactly her feelings blossomed for the Commander. Perhaps it was during the time when he saved the galaxy from the hands of Saren and the Reapers' annihilation. It could have also been before then, when they lost Kaiden on Virmire and he desperately needed a shoulder to cry on and she granted him hers. Hell, it could have been when he first introduced himself to her as far as she knew. She probably would never know when exactly she became head over heels for her commanding officer, but she does know why though.

For you see, Commander Shepard had accomplished what others before him did not. He came back to her. She knew how ridiculously simple that sounded, but the act, as simple as it was, charmed her. She had seen many possible lovers gone without even sparing a passing glance at her. They do not even send her a courtesy email after sharing a passionate night. Shepard was different, completely unlike those mistakes before him.

Even now, as they do their final preparations to assault the Collector's base, he still made time to visit her abode to see how she was faring. Can you believe that? Facing constant absurd odds, staring unflinchingly at deadly foes, who wants nothing more than to tear you apart, and what was the first thing he did when he returned from a mission? He headed straight to her little spot on the Normandy to converse with her. It would be hard for anyone not to feel something at these acts.

But alas, she knew it was not made to be. Not only was the doctor old enough to be the Commander's own mother, but she also knew he was quite entangled with a former crewmate of theirs; the hot-tempered Ashley Williams. She had seen the look that donned his face whenever the chief was to be mentioned around him. Hurt for she had not believed his words on Horizon, then whimsical for remembering the short time they had shared, and finally happiness for he was still in love with the female marine.

Karin wished them the best of luck with their relationship and hoped they would mend their differences soon. She truly meant that. They are an adorable couple and she could already hear the wedding bells ringing for them. She just wished that the naïve and jealous woman in her that yearned for their type of relationship did not bring its ugly head back as it did.

She wished she did not feel the butterflies that run amok in her gut every time she saw him walk by. She despised that she cannot ignore her own fluttering heart when they exchange just simple pleasantries to one another. She hated the thrill and excitement that runs through her veins when they share the slightest of touch. Worst of all, she loathed her own carnal cravings that demanded her to shove him onto her operating table and grant him a crash course in anatomy when they are alone.

As one could guess, she has it quite bad for the marine. With all that being said, Karin Chakwas is a sixty year-old adult. Accepting hard truths and controlling one urges comes into the territory of being one. That was why she made sure to savor memorable moments, like the one she was currently having, with great fervor.

The doctor rested her chin in the palm of her hand, taking a tiny sip of her Serrice Ice brandy. She still could not believe he had searched the entire Citadel to find the same bottle she had lost when the first Normandy was destroyed. Then again, she should not be so surprised. This was the man that took her heart after all.

She listened intently as he regaled a humorous tale of his many adventures as a marine. A smile snuck their way onto her lips as she watched him spilled a drop of the brandy onto his shirt from how animated he was.

Poor shirt; the stain will never come out. She thought amusingly.

The doctor glanced at her own drink and noticed how little of the delicious alcohol is left. Just like how little time they have left together. She finished the rest of her drink with quickness and solemnly placed the empty glass on the desk.

They will soon dive head first into hell once EDI gets the Reaper's IFF working. It would be the moment of no return, and no doubt many of the crew would perish from the suicide mission. As stereotypical as it was, she was more afraid of dying than losing any of the crew. Dying without saying her feelings to the man that made her feel so alive and young. She cannot help but to chuckle at the thought. It was truly ending up like one of her novels.

"Shepard." She called out, staring lovingly at his gorgeous ocean blue eyes.

"Yes?" He has a lopsided grin on his face, a tale of him being tipsy.

"I just want to say that, it has been an honor serving with your Command-" She stopped, shaking her head at herself. If she was going to confess, then she matters as well go all the way and refer to him by his first name.

"I want to say that it has been an honor serving with you John. We have laughed, cried, and fought through so many difficult trials together. You are the rock that makes my life stable. You are the hope that fills my body when going against the unknown odds we face. No matter what may happen to us once we pass through the Omega-Four relay, I want you to know that I deeply cherish the friendship we have. And that I…" Gosh was she blushing? Her cheeks feel hot as if she was. "That I love you John."

He seemed caught off guard by her sudden serious tone and declaration. It seemed to have sobered him up in fact. He placed his drink next to her empty glass and then placed a hand on top of hers. The simple touch of his callous ridden hand sent shivers of pleasure down her spine. Oh how she fantasized those hands exploring her body; taking their sweet time discovering all her sensitive spots.

"I love you too Chakwa- '' He shook his head, letting out a short laugh. "I mean, I love you too Karin. Our friendship is one that I also hold near and dear." He said with an irresistible smile that makes her hot in the face as well as between her legs. "I may be the rock that keeps you stable, but you are the glue that keeps me together. Without you, there's no Normandy. Hell, without you there's no me." He gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You are one of the best of friends a person could ever ask for."

She smiled back at him, trying desperately not to let a single tear escape. It hurts. It really hurts hearing those magical words she dreamed about on so many nights, to only be followed by that dreaded word; friend. The doctor knew such a reaction was coming, but it did not ease the killing blow in the slightest.

At least she said her piece. At least she told him how she truly felt about him. At the end of the day, that was all one could really ask for, right? Heh, guess she will not get the guy at the end of this story.

He removed his hands from hers and she instantly missed the comforting warmth it brought. "Hey," John started refilling their glasses, "mind telling me that story about Jenkins and Kaiden again? The one where Jenkins asked LT to use him as a test dummy." He asked, sliding her drink towards her. "It's one of my favorites, and you tell it so well Karin."

Karin chuckled from his eagerness and accepted the glass. "Sure John. It's one of my favorites as well." She took a sip of her brandy before retelling the story to him.

This was not the ending she had hoped for, but seeing him laugh at her story made her think maybe it was okay that it was not. While the young woman in her, who enlisted to find a man like John, was quite distraught from them not being in a relationship, the older wise woman in her was quite pleased for having a chance to be friends with a man like him. After all, life was not like a fairytale.

A/N: First off let me say, I'm not dead. I came back from deployment a couple of months ago (10 month cruise), so I focused on my wife and stuff. That being said, I was working on all of my stories during that time frame. I just need to edit them all. A more detail status of my work will be on my profile.