Title: Exposure
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Snape/Harry
WARNING: Language, Mature Theme, SLASH M/M CONTENT
SUMMARY: Snape and Harry volunteer to quarantine themselves for charity, and to comfort the world. Isolation leaves them feeling exposed. This is an AU in which the two are celebrity actors in the modern world. Convid-19 Related. This was written for the Lock Down Fest on A-O-3.
Love might be great, but being in love is so fucking dangerous, and not the same thing at all. When it hits, it hits hard and leaves no survivors.
Harry thinks this while the brightness of the snow forces him to squint. Hell of a way to wake up. In a glass fucking igloo, streaming a continuous feed to the entire world. Thanks, Youtube.
"They love you," his public relations team had said. "It'll bring the world together," they said. "Streaming your talents and celebrity in this crises, is all the rage. It's bringing comfort to the world. The money donated, will fund recovery across the globe. It's for the best cause possible. Do it."
Isolation. Put your favorite celebrities together and see how they survive a global shut down. What could go wrong?
There is a spot in the igloo that is out of range of the cameras. The contract says that one of them has to be on camera at all times. It's Harry's turn to give Snape a break. Snape sits there, sipping his tea, hair falling over his eyes. His fingers comb it back. He's said very little this morning. Like Harry, he's putting on a good show. In a room full of white décor, where a glass dome lets a crystal wintry landscape right inside, his dark sweater and leather jacket make him look like antimatter. The room is too bright, too exposed, and the glare causes headaches.
It was a habitable set. Someone's fantasy. Not theirs, but someone's. They both thought they were doing a good thing by letting their fans cheer them into the situation. It certainly started out innocent enough. Day one, was spectacular. They'd been surprised with an architectural marvel. A fantasy oasis. The privilege of the highest technology in an undisclosed forest, with mountains, wildlife and stars to entertain them. Could they survive? Hell yes. The first forty-eight hours were lovely. They were up with horizon's light and down when darkness came. They ate gourmet micro-wave dinners and discussed their projects by candlelight. They got drunk on wine and shooting stars. Both guessed correctly that they'd been deposited in the Northern most part of the world. They were treated to a green light show of inexplicable beauty night after night.
They were so charmed by the situation, so happy, they lost track of when they were awake and when they were dreaming. A week into it, and they told themselves they didn't mind the tiny bit of stress behind their eye sockets. With the advice of medical experts, special sunglasses were delivered to them by drone. They had to wear them six hours a day until their eyes adjusted. The headaches lessened. Everything got better when the actual designer of the building phoned the set to point out that the igloo was equipped with window tinting. They could control how much light came in and the option for privacy. But donations climbed when their seven million viewers could see them on camera.
It was a two-week contract. A high-tech camp trip. It was fun. They still had phone service and their laptops. They still had movie night and Harry woke up to Snape's incredible scrambled eggs whenever he wanted them. Just to make things more interesting, they began taking questions and requests. Things like, 'Does Snape sing in the shower?' No, but Harry does. 'Are you bathroom shy, like most new couples?'
Harry took that one. "We've gotten so comfortable sharing a bathroom, that when we both have to go, I just sit and tuck, and trust his aim. We've gotten very good at tandem urination."
Snape suppresses a laugh, but he can't risk the world believing this. He corrects Harry's remark. "When there is a mutual demand, or any stomach drama, one of us will respectfully step outside for a brief walk in the snow. It's the considerate thing to do."
"I listen at the door," Harry joked. "It's freezing out there."
Requests took the form of, 'Sit closer on the sofa.' Or, 'Can we get a shot of you two reading your books on the bed?'
Everyone knew where it was going and played along as harmlessly as possible. Amid posing and laughing, the insights were surprising, the enjoyment real. By the second week, no one had to ask them to sit closer as they talked of their favorite films and challenges. It happened naturally.
They, along with the rest of the quarantined world, watched concert after free concert, streamed online to comfort an uneasy world. They watched with the lights off, and the interior of their dome lit the forest with night-light blue. A cobalt glow. It cast them in silhouette, and they were so comfortable in the dark, that when someone requested they dance to the concert footage, they said 'What the hell,' and did. It was upbeat and silly, and fun, at first. But it was in real time and John Legend got wind of it. He changed his selection and played the most romantic song in an arsenal of love meant for his wife. Cheered on, as millions crossed their fingers in front of their computer screens, Snape stopped joking around and brought himself up. He stood in front of Harry, and said quite intently, "May I have this dance?"
Harry's hesitation made the moment real. He could be seen to stammer at the sincere invitation. 'Oh, you're not joking', his surprise told the world. He let Snape lift his hand, and encircle his waste. The world watch their bodies close the gap. Snape began to lead. They had very little room for a modern waltz, but Snape's footing was sure. Harry leaned on him and had to trust his guidance. They stepped in time and satellites projected their elegant sway to viewers around the planet.
It was so much fun, they told themselves they didn't care who was watching. It was such a fall into nothing, into an abyss of freedom, the threat of having it all end and going back to normal life, had them holding each other closer, allowing things they wouldn't normally allow. Shorter and slighter, Harry relaxed into Snape's hold. It suddenly felt right to put his head against his chest. Against his cheek, Snape's skin burned through his shirt. Dismissing all reservations, he nestled closer and let himself have that warmth. Snape only held him closer and bent to whisper in his ear, "It's okay. We'll never have this again. If the world must change, then let us usher it in."
He kissed Harry's ear. Then his neck, and they both knew it could not be erased from the cameras. There was a moment when Harry looked up into his eyes, asking. Snape answered. The pull was too strong for them to stop it. Really, in Harry's mind, he knew he'd have to fend off rumors and perform damage control later, but he was willing to risk it. Snape's gaze assured him that he feared no repercussions. His head bent. The kiss happened, for all the world to see. There would be no explaining away the way Harry opened his mouth and the way Snape filled it.
They had buttons for privacy. Buttons they forgot about. They both knew that no sponsor was going to allow their covert touches to be seen. In that attraction, they didn't really want to hide it. They wanted to control what was seen. They wanted to show the beautiful parts. The kisses, the soft touches. They wanted to hide the aggressive parts. Their erections, their fight to find enough friction to satisfy them. Blue light hid most everything. It's not as if they got undressed. They had the comforter close by, and Snape threw it over them, leaving the masses to figure out which lumps and limbs were moving where.
It was a gift. With only their heads and arms showing from the cover, they took the gift of one another, and gave it back to the world. Snape made no pretense of insisting he be above Harry's body. It never occurred to Harry to hide his apprehension as he lay beneath, waiting for reassurance that this was happening and it wasn't a mistake. The tide had taken them and they couldn't say no to each other. Not at that point. It was anyone's guess what their silent stares meant, before Snape took the plunge. His head dove, eclipsing everything of Harry's face, except his jaw. His back lowered into place. Cover slipped low enough to reveal the workings of his spine and muscles, as the two found their positions. In the shadows, the world was left to interpret the shapes of their movements and listen to the riveting tale their breaths told.
There was a moment in their ecstacy, that Harry held back. Fear and shyness suddenly gripped him. Snape leaned in, using his shoulders to shield him, and whispered. "They can't see your face. Do it. Let go."
Only with this assurance, did Harry succumb to what Snape's weight was driving out of him. In the shadow of Snape's head and shoulders, he tilted his head back and let his orgasm break like waves against the rigid insistence crushing slick and delicious against him.
Blue light revealed sweat standing on his forehead. It lit his struggle to catch his breath. It lit the warning in his eyes. Don't let me regret this.
Snape's kisses, bending and letting his hair fall to touch Harry's face, promised that he would not.
Yes, they've definitely disgusted some people. But one day the world would be more enlightened. This pandemic was a sign that all had to make a greater adjustment. People were changing. Free art. Free concerts. Free celebrity. The world was learning to love, and this was not the worst thing they could go down in history for. Someday, the world was going to see that making love like this, was the last thing worth worrying about.
His lips traced Harry's jawline. "Shhhh. Don't worry. They'll see. It was the greatest gift we could've given them."
They slept, isolated from the effect they were having on the world.
Now it was morning and the room was too bright. The snow was too white. And for the first time since he'd been there, Harry felt a chill in their climate-controlled igloo. Chat questions were asking what happened and whether or not he was okay? Why was he staring out the window all morning? Why were he and Snape not talking?
They let the questions pile up, until the director of the stream, decided to disable chat for a little while. They'd broken records and raised more money than expected. They'd offended half the world, and were now heroes to the other half. It was their last day in quarantine, and a lot to accept. It wasn't that either of them were regretful. Harry didn't know how to feel. And Snape was giving him room to figure it out.
Had he just had sex with a man, for the first time, in front of seven million viewers? How do you recover from losing your mind like that? From being so happy, that you think the morning after will never come. You'll never have to answer to it. How do you leave an atmosphere where you can do nothing wrong, and go back to a world where it was possible to do everything wrong? How do you leave heaven? Even a make-believe heaven. Their bodies believed it, while it was happening, and that was the cruel part.
Daylight was harsh and blinding, but Harry made himself stare at the fresh coat of snow to make himself face reality. Did he really let the world see that? Had his orgasm face been visible to millions? He knew he'd showed other personal, embarrassing things along his career, but those were professional performances. This was real. And private. What madness made him think he could survive letting people see that? Now he had to go out there and face it.
But that wasn't the hardest part. The hardest part was going to sleep with a pot of heaven and waking up to find it gone. Like Leprechaun gold. Those kisses had made him so brave and promised he could keep that feeling of unlimited bliss forever. They should've discussed it. If they were going to do something that important, they should've laid down some rules. Now where did he stand? He could take the heat a lot better if he knew he wasn't alone, and last night had not been a drunken, crazy-enamored fluke. But it wasn't easy waking up, deflowered by a man, in front of the whole fucking world. What kind of a world was he going back to? He just wanted to cancel his engagements and curl up in the comfort of his bed at home until this chill passed. It sucked being the only one to fall in love. In front of everyone.
Hours went by with Harry at the window. When Snape couldn't take it anymore, he came over with two teas, and offered one to him. "What's gotten into you? Don't you dare go regretting what we shared with the world last night."
Harry couldn't look at him. "What if we've ruined our lives last night? What if it was a mistake?"
Snape took him by the chin. "Was it?"
"I don't want to have to face anyone. That wasn't supposed to happen."
"That's not what your touch said last night. Just because it wasn't scripted, doesn't mean that it has no place in our lives. Harry, don't be afraid of what awaits us. I think this quarantine is the Universe's way of choosing us, to help others love. When the fuss regarding decency dies down, they'll see we've done nothing wrong, but taken our relationship to its next logical step."
Relationship?
"So, you do want to see me again? That wasn't just about last night, and being caught up in all the fun?"
"It was about last night. Last night, was when I realized that I'm in love with you. Last night, I hope, is the beginning of the rest of our nights together. Now come, pack your things. The helicopter will be here soon. Our contribution during this pandemic is over. You're not leaving here alone. You're not facing the world alone. We're leaving together."
Relief burst from Harry's chest in the form of a gasp. He blinked back embarrassing tears. He hadn't realized he'd been restraining so much anxiety over what Snape felt, until he'd been given permission to release it.
Yeah, love might be a beautiful thing, but falling in love is dangerous and frightening because it asks that you show everything. It makes you think you can do anything, overcome any opposition, follow any bliss. When really, you can only do those things with the right person by your side. No one exists in isolation. Falling in love exposes everything to everyone.
He threw his arms around Snape so hard, so filled with gratitude, that he couldn't speak it.
If Snape wondered at his silence, he said nothing. He held Harry, allowing him all the time he needed, to know that he wasn't alone. They would face this new world, and these new feelings, together.