Any bold within the story is quoted directly from the book "Four." I will make some things plural though, because now there are two characters in situations in the book where it was just Tobias.
I wake up in the aptitude test chair sweaty and shaking. The test administrator looks at me suspiciously, "Did anything strange happen during your test? Like were you aware during it?" She asks me. The questions are too casual to be normal.
Marcus warned us that we might be aware during the test. That we might be asked if something was wrong. That it might be implied that we are, what Marcus calls, Divergent. It is supposedly a bad thing and will make us targets. My brother nor I tried to get anymore details beyond that. Neither of us wanted Marcus's so called
helpful streak to run out sooner than necessary. I cast my eyes down to the floor, "No ma'am."
Though a part of me wants to ask how am I supposed to know if something went wrong when I've never taken the test before? Never mind the fact that he told us exactly what to do. "You will be presented with two options. Cheese in one basket, a knife in another. Take the cheese, feed it to the dog, save the girl from the dog. This will give you an Abnegation result." At the time his advice made no sense to either of us. After taking the test it does.
I keep looking at the floor, but I can feel her eyes on me. "Well, then you got a perfectly Abnegation result." She says it like it disgusts her slightly. I wouldn't expect anything else from a Dauntless. "You can go sit back down now."
I nod and get up from the chair, quietly thanking her for taking the time to test me. She scoffs as I head towards the door. Right as I'm about to leave though, she says, "It's your choice you know."
I know that I shouldn't react. I know that I should just leave, but I turn back anyway, "What do you mean?"
Tori, that was her name, says, "Well it's just that you don't seem too pleased with your result-" that's because I'm not- "and I wanted to remind you that in the end, no matter what the test says, it's your choice. After all, everyone else will keep on living after you choose your faction. You're the one that has to live with the decision."
She's not entirely correct. I don't know what would become of us if my brother and I choose different factions. I already know that I would rather be factionless than live in Abnegation any longer than necessary. Now it's just a matter of choosing where to go and convincing my brother to come with me. As young children we dreamed about getting away more times than I could count. Now nothing is sure. When I don't say anything she sighs and says, "Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this and you'll enjoy a stiff life." I don't say anything. I just turn away and let the door shut behind me.
My brother is sitting in the same spot he was when I left. I take the same seat I sat in when I was called up. We are sitting at the Abnegation table, but are still separate from everyone else. Some nod their heads in greeting, but none of them will meet my eyes. They won't meet Tobias's either. Lepers even within our own faction. Marcus's insistence on home schooling made that possible. They are all suspicious of us; most people are of those who are different, no matter their faction.
If anyone else looked at the table I doubt they could tell the difference. I doubt they could see the subtle divisions within our table. I wonder if they even see those divisions within themselves. Maybe those divisions are normal for everyone else. We are all neat, quiet, clothed in gray, and our eyes are always downcast. Abnegation are taught from birth that it is selfish to draw attention to ourselves.
Tobias glances up at me when I sit down. He's already been through his test. We make eye contact briefly. I'm fine, I say silently. He nods and we both look away, silently observing everyone. The observation yields nothing new: Erudite; quietly discussing or reading the latest article, Candor; loudly debating some issue, Amity; giggling and laughing with each other, and finally Dauntless; shouting, laughing, and playing cards. None of them have a care in the world, beyond where they will choose to live tomorrow. I'm sure that most are already sure where they're going anyway. Of all the factions Amity and Dauntless are the most free. Neither will ask questions, but between the two of them, I'd choose Dauntless. They are freer. They have rules and break them; are expected to break them. I suspect that, in Dauntless, if you make enough of a name for yourself no one would dare question you. That's a cause I could get behind.
Since they always call names in reverse alphabetical order, only a few more groups go after mine. The lady that's been calling out names comes out and gives us all a speech about what's going to happen tomorrow and how the choice where to go is ours, no matter where are parents were born. When she finally finishes we are dismissed. No one at the Abnegation table moves. We are expected to wait until everyone else is gone. Then we wait at the bus stop for everyone else to get on first. Then on the bus offer up our seats and instead stand. We could end up getting home an hour after we should have. Such is the life of the selfless. Instead Tobias and I slip unnoticed out a side door. As soon as it shuts, we take off down the alley full speed.
I run just a step behind him because the alley not wide enough for both of us to run next to each other. The loose gray jackets we wear over the rest of our clothes billows out behind us as we run faster. Tobias just unbuttons his and lets in fly from his shoulders. It smacks me in the face. "Watch it," I shout to him over the wind, not even really slowing down.
He throws me a grin over his shoulder not slowing down either, "Sorry." He doesn't look very sorry at all. He faces forward again so that he doesn't trip over any pot holes. In this moment we look like two normal siblings. Siblings that race and tease each other. Not siblings that clean and bandage each other after their father beats them.
When the burning in our muscles finally becomes too much we slow and then stop. We stay there leaning on each other, panting. We are in the factionless wasteland between Erudite and Abnegation headquarters. "Hey," my brother's quiet voice makes me look up and straighten, "look over there." I follow his line of sight. It leads to an abandoned building. What drew his attention though was the fire burning inside it. "Let's go check it out."
I pause, normally it's me that wants to go exploring new things. Maybe it's a good sign that this time he wants to. I nod, "Let's do it. But we should be careful, there is some danger, but I doubt that the factionless will really care about two dependent Abnegation."
Tobias nods and we both head towards the building. He stops at a closed window that directly overlooks the small fire, that I can now tell is about a half dozen lit coals. He tries the window, but it doesn't work. It takes both of us wiggling it back and forth a few times to pry it open. He goes through first, toppling forward. I chuckle slightly and step through it.
When I get in he glares at me while getting up, "Show off."
I laugh, "It's not my fault I got all the grace in the family." The room is in organized chaos. Blankets are thrown across the floor, but they don't overlap each other and there's room to walk between each one. There are many open food cans on the floor.
Tobias snorts and moves closer to the coals, taking care not to step on any of the blankets.
I open my mouth to ask him why bother getting closer. It seems obvious to me now that it's a grill and that nothing is on fire that shouldn't be. Furthermore this is obviously a living space for the factionless and we shouldn't be intruding.
A voice coming from another room startles us both, "What are you two doing in here?" The man is thin and sallow-faced, but still looks strong. He wears clothes that are a mixture of Candor, Erudite, and Abnegation. I move closer to Tobias. I don't think this man will try anything, but you can never be too sure.
"I-uh," my brother stutters then glances at the grill, "We saw the coals and thought something was on fire. That's all."
The man glances at me. "We don't mean any harm." I look down at the floor as if afraid to meet his eyes, my brother does the same. We are both skilled liars.
"Thanks I guess," he says, "Nothing's on fire here though."
"I can see that," my brother replies, "What is this place?" I shoot him a look. What happened to the innocent Abnegation act? He ignores me and turns to the man, awaiting an answer.
The man smiles a cold smile, "It's my house," he's missing one of his teeth, "I didn't know I would be having guests, so I didn't bother to tidy up."
I don't believe him in the slightest. There are too many blankets, too many empty cans of food for him to live alone here. Then again I never really believed what everyone told us about the factionless. Why would they live alone and isolated when all they've ever been taught is to group together? After all grouping together with people that have the same opinions as you is human nature. And they all have at least one thing in common: hatred of the faction system. It was the thing that rejected and put them here in the first place.
Apparently my brother has similar thoughts because he says, "You must toss and turn a lot, to require so many blankets." I want to laugh. My brother rarely talks back. I'm usually the one who does.
"Never met a pair of Stiffs who pried so much into other people's business. You know you two look a lot alike. More than most Stiffs do at least."
"Well I would hope so," I reply crossing my arms and dropping the Abnegation act, "We are twins after all."
He moves closer to us then and frowns, "You both look familiar." Now I'm suspicious. Why would he recognize us? I know that we've never met him. It then occurs to me that as much as Marcus isolates us, he can't change what we look like. We both look like one of the most prominent members of society.
My brother looks down and his posture changes. Suddenly he's the perfect Abnegation again. He's trying to get us out of the corner we've been backed into. I know that he's about to continue the Abnegation act with words as well, but I stop him before he can. "I'm not surprised we look familiar. After all you were the one that said all Abnegation look alike." I have no intention of becoming a spineless Abnegation member in front of this man again. I don't think that he would fall for it anyway.
Tobias continues nonetheless, "We were just leaving anyway." I sigh inwardly. If he's going to talk back and say sarcastic things like he did in the beginning, he needs to learn how to not back down afterward. You have to pick one act and sick with it; whether it's real or not.
"I do know you two," the man continues, "You're Evelyn Eaton's children aren't you." We both stiffen at the name. Neither of us have heard that name in years. Marcus does not allow it to be spoken in the house without serious consequences.
"How do you know her?" My brother speaks up immediately, all traces of Abnegation again gone.
I nod, "You must have known her well to recognize her children." My memories of her are faint and lined with shadows, but I remember that she was darker skinned than us and that her eyes were light brown. Any other traits that we shared: hooked noses, straight, forward eyebrows, and long fingers, were too small for most people to notice.
He hesitates a little. "She volunteered with the Abnegation sometimes. Handing out food and blankets and clothes. Had a memorable face. Plus, she was married to a council leader. Didn't everyone know her?"
He's lying and I know it. Tobias knows it to from the look on his face. We need to go, now. I have no interest in hearing any more lies about my mother. I've spent too many nights without sleep, thinking about her already. I put my hand on Tobias's arm, "Let's go brother," I murmur into his ear.
Unfortunately he's more desperate to hear anything about her than I am, "She died, don't you know. Years ago."
"No, I didn't know that." His mouth slants a little at one corner. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yes I'm sure you are," I say pulling my brother towards the exit, "We're leaving now. Sorry to bother you."
"Wait," the man says and Tobias plants his feet so I can't keeping pulling him. "Your Choosing Ceremony must be coming up tomorrow, for you two, to look so worried. What faction did you get?"
"We're not supposed to tell anyone." I roll my eyes at my brother. Wow like he didn't already know that. Besides what does he get from the knowledge anyway?
When neither of us says anything else he says, "Ah rule followers," the disappointment in his voice is clear, "Your mother once said that she felt like inertia had carried her to Abnegation. It was the path of least resistance." He shrugs. "Trust me when I tell you, Eaton children, that resistance is worth doing."
Anger rushes through me. As if we don't know that. As if being beaten and starved everyday is something to just accept. It seems as though my brother is angry for a different reason, "Yeah," he says, "Look where resisting got you. Living out of cans in broken-down buildings. Doesn't sound great to me." I take that as our self-dismissal and practically shove him out a nearby side door.
I go out it, right after him and I hear the man say, "I would rather eat out of a can than be strangled by a faction." I doubt he agreed with that statement before he became factionless. It's just a thought for him and all the others to have so they don't feel like failures. We keep walking, not looking back.
...
When we get home, we both stop on the front steps and enjoy the cool air. Our mother was the one who taught us to savor small moments of freedom like this. She used to sneak out at night, while Marcus was sleeping, and then come back right as the sunlight started to show. I always wondered why she never took us with her. I turn to my brother who looks deep in thought, "Were you aware during your test?" I ask quietly.
He nods, "You?"
I nod back, "The administrator didn't seem like she believed me."
Right before we go inside he brushes the gravel from his pants and mutters, "It was the same for me."
Our father is sitting in the living room doing paperwork when we go inside. Maybe we can get upstairs without him noticing. No such luck. "Tell me about your aptitude tests," he says and points to the sofa where we are supposed to sit.
We step over his stacks of paper and sit down side by side, silently waiting his command.
"Well," I can hear the tension in his voice. It must have been a stressful day today. We need to tread lightly. He looks between the two of us then says to me, "Marella what was your result?"
"Abnegation," I say with no hesitation. I don't know why he's decided to focus on me today, but I'm glad. This way Tobias is less likely to make him angry. If I can pass, all he has to do is give his own conformation that nothing strange happened. It's better this way.
"And anything else?"
"No, sir."
"Nothing strange happened with your test?" Well that depends on whether or not you consider being aware the entire time strange.
I look down at the ground, "No, sir," I say quietly.
He launches out and wraps his hand around my arm tightly, "Don't you dare lie to me. And look me in the eye when I talk to you." You can never win with him. Last week he screamed at me because I did look him in the eye when I spoke.
I snap my eyes up immediately, "Nothing strange happened I swear. The test administrator barely looked at me." I hold his gaze hoping that he believes me.
Marcus releases me and turns to Tobias. I can feel my heartbeat in the skin where he was just holding me. "What about you?"
Tobias looks up at out father, "It was the same sir. Abnegation, just as expected."
He stares at both of us then says, "I'm sure you both have some thinking to do. You should go to your room."
"Yes, sir," we both say. I go up first and Tobias follows.
"Oh," he says, "Some of my follow council members are coming over tonight, so eat dinner early."
We nod together, "Yes, sir."
Our rooms are next to each other and I turn to him and say, "We need to get out of here."
Tobias stares at me and then opens his door. I don't think that he's going to answer when he turns back and murmurs, "Where Marella? Where would we go?" He goes into his room and I sigh quietly before disappearing into mine.
...
I go downstairs before the sun goes down. When I pass by his room Tobias opens his door and follows me down. We each grab two rolls, a hunk of cheese, cold chicken with no seasoning, an apple, and a carrot with the greens still attached. It's one of the larger meals we've had in this house. We eat quickly eyes fixed on the door, so that we don't run into any council members. We are just finishing our water when I hear steps on the porch. I move upstairs and Tobias follows, but slower than me. Our father's hand is on the doorknob when Tobias makes it to the banister. I'm already at the top of the stairs. He climbs them fast and we both move to our rooms. I go into mine and shut the door. Tobias does the same a few seconds after.
My room looks the same as every other child's bedroom in Abnegation does: gray sheets and blankets tucked tightly around a small thin mattress, textbooks stacked in a neat tower on a simple plywood desk, a small dresser containing exact copies of plain gray clothes, and a small window that lets in a little sunlight throughout the day. The childrens' bedrooms in this house, however, have one major difference than all the others: a small collection of selfish items.
Under Tobias's bed is a trunk that our mother told Marcus is for keeping spare blankets. It's a lie. Instead she put different odds and ends in it and he continued to do the same after she died. I, however, collect a different sort of thing: books. I take them out one by one; from under my mattress, from the space behind my dresser, under my dresser, and in it. I can only keep about a dozen in my room at a time without Marcus noticing. I haven't been able to trade these out in awhile. I've read them all multiple times. Mother used to collect them for me, like she collected random objects for Tobias. She knew her children well.
As I keep staring at my books, Tobias's question circles around in my head. Where would we go if we don't stay in Abnegation? There are many factors to consider. One; wherever we go it must be together, two; what would each faction expect of us, and three; how would each faction react to divergents. The word itself means different or to be different. In this context I suspect that it means something along the lines of someone who can fit into more than one faction. I can see why people like this would seem like a threat to those who are power hungry. People like that would more than likely be the ones to question their own faction and others because they have seen more than one side. Though anyone could and should given the right circumstances.
Candor would probably be a safe place for Divergent since they constantly seek the truth. It may be easier for them to handle. But I've heard rumors that part of their initiation is putting people under a truth serum. You are forced to spill all of your secrets. We would never survive in a place like that. Not when we wear our secrets like armor.
Amity is a possibility. They would be accepting of Divergents as long as you don't rock the boat. They would see the broken parts of us and ask no questions. They would pull us into their group and help begin the slow healing process. We would never have to fear anything ever again there. But in the end it is not an option; I am not mindless enough to be that passive. I believe too much in action, in doing.
Erudite might be on option, but Marcus is constantly railing against Erudite for their arrogance and vanity. I'm not entirely sure I believe him though. Out of all of the factions Abnegation and Erudite have the most animosity, so his opinion is biased. Erudite believe that because they have more knowledge, they should be the ones running the city. I don't know that I agree with that, but I do know that Marcus should not be part of the council. Nor should anyone that turns a blind eye and ignores their own suspicions. I find it hard to believe that no one ever suspected that Marcus was not the selfless obedient council member he showed the world. Maybe it's time for a regime change.
When we were younger and Marcus hadn't completely tightened the leash, we were allowed to volunteer at the library after school and on weekends. There was an Erudite woman who worked there too. She taught us a few things about computers and code. She was eager to give knowledge and didn't really care who she was giving it to. She wasn't the selfish vain Erudite member Marcus told us they all were. She was just a person, happy to share her knowledge with people willing to listen. Tobias and I were those people, but two Abnegation, the children of a head council member, transferring to Erudite would draw too much attention. More importantly it would draw the attention of Erudite leadership: Jeanine. I know that she would push for the truth. A truth that I refuse to allow come to the surface. I'm sure that Tobias would agree with me. Really the only option is to reinvent ourselves. To become so different that the people of our faction would never recognize us.
It leaves Dauntless as the only option. I do not know enough about their leaders to gauge if Divergents would be a threat to them or not. But in Dauntless if you do well, they won't question you. We could become new people there. People that are strong enough physically and mentally to never fear their father again. We would be safe. Not to mention we are no strangers to the violence we are sure to come across. Initiation would not be as hard for us; we are used to adversity. How could it be worse than what we've already faced? Most importantly we can be free there. And as an added bonus, transferring there would injure Marcus and his reputation the most. Even more than if we went to Erudite.
I hear the front door shut about an hour or two later. I've spent this time flipping through my books. Memorizing the covers of each one. I leap off my bed at the sound, putting my books away as quickly as possible. I hear Marcus coming up the stairs, each step he takes drives fear further into my heart. He comes to my room first. The door knob jiggles then it stops and he moves to Tobias's room. It takes me a second to realize that he's locked the door. That can only mean one thing; he intends to teach us both a lesson tonight and Tobias is first. All I can do is press my ear to the wall and listen. This is the worst part. I know what's coming for him, for me. I can do nothing.
"What are you doing over here? Are you trying to keep me out?" Oh no I think. Tobias puts his chair under his door sometimes to give himself some semblance of privacy. Today he must have been caught. It will make whatever lesson Marcus intended all the worse.
"No, sir."
"That's the second time you've lied to me today," Marcus says. "I did not raise my son to be a liar. Maybe you were just covering for your sister, but I think that you're both lying. But don't you worry I'll get to her soon enough." A weight drops in my stomach.
"I-," my brother tries to speak, but then stops. He knows that it is useless.
"What were you doing in here that you didn't want me to see?"
"Nothing," I hear my brother say quietly. There is no good answer. Neither of us are getting out of a beating tonight.
"That's three lies," his voice is soft. Something I will always equate with danger. There's a rustling then and I'm not sure what Marcus is doing until he speaks, "Your mother claimed this was for blankets." He's found the trunk. If possible, things have gotten worse. "Said you got cold at night. But what I've always wondered is, if it still has blankets in it, why do you keep it locked?" I already know the answer and I know that Tobias does too.
"I'm here for you brother," I whisper, even though I know that he can't hear me. He never can, but I keep saying it so that I don't feel like I'm failing him.
"What is this?" I can hear objects flying around the room. Something even hits the wall and I jump back.
I move back to the wall in time to hear, "-need with this, or this... ! This is rank with self-indulgence!" He shouts. There's a thump and I know that he just threw the trunk on the floor. "It poisons this house with selfishness!" I can think of something else that poisons this house.
I hear my brother hit his dresser and then, "The Choosing Ceremony, Dad!" Marcus can usually get away with hitting us in the face because we stay home, but tomorrow we will been in public.
There is a sudden violent silence, then Marcus says, "Stay here."
The first time he left the room like that we both believed it to be a reprieve. Now we know it to be the calm before the storm. He always comes back, but with a belt. "I'm here brother," I say against the wall again, louder this time. I don't know if he heard me. If he did he knows that it would be too risky to answer.
The first time that Tobias cries out I move away from the wall. Then I move off my bed and onto the floor. I curl into a ball there and sob into my hands. Part of me is terrified because I know that I will be next, but the bigger part of me is sobbing for another reason. I have once again failed to protect Tobias. What good is a sister that can't protect her little brother from their own father?
A little while later I hear the door knob jiggle again and Marcus enters my room. "Get up from the floor worthless bitch!"
I stand and look him in the eye. We are nearly the same height and yet... I still cower back away from him. His eyes are the same as mine, but they are cold, emotionless, especially now. But the thing that really makes me fear him is that damn belt clenched tightly in his hand. His lips twist into a cruel smile, "Turn around, shirt off."
I do as he says, "Not wasting anytime tonight are we?"
Marcus snarls at me and the belt comes down hard on my bare back. My body caves inward and I stuff my fist in my mouth to keep from screaming. "Maybe this will shut that smart mouth of yours. I'll never be able to marry you off if you keep talking back to your superiors like that. I'm just trying to make you better. I'm trying to make you both better. Why can't you see that?" A slight variation of his favorite saying this is for your own good. He punctuates his words with four more hits from the belt. He pauses then, but I know that this is far from over.
A dark laugh escapes me, "Tired already old man? Abusing both your kids on the same night proving to be too much effort?" I'm asking for trouble, I know, but I'll be gone after tonight and he will never touch me or Tobias ever again.
The sound of rage he makes at my words is more animal than human. The belt comes down again, again, again, again. More times than I care to count. Then finally, a welcome darkness.
...
I wake to my brother gently tapping my face with his hand. "Hey Marella wake up."
I blink and slowly sit up. Red hot pain races through my back and I bite my lip hard to keep from crying out. I don't want to worry Tobias anymore than necessary. "Is he asleep?" I ask quietly.
He nods slowly, "Yeah. I got the kit too." He holds up a white box that is, of course, the first aid kit. We slowly begin the morbid tradition of cleaning and bandaging each others wounds. It takes a while, but I feel slightly better when we've finished. It certainly is a bonding activity. "We need to get out of here Marella." His voice is soft and desperate, yet determined. It is that of a child's.
"I know and I've thought it through. We should go to Dauntless."
"Dauntless," he murmurs.
"Yes. We can be remade there. We can be free there."
He nods slowly at first and then with more conviction. "Yes Dauntless." He smiles a little, "A haven for the both of us."
I laugh a little, "I don't think that the Warrior faction has ever been described that way."
He smiles, "True, but they've also never met us."
I smile back, "Dauntless. Together then?" I hold out my hand for him to take.
Tobias pauses then takes my hand in his own, nodding slowly, "Together." He goes back into his room after and that night we both sleep on our stomachs. As we so often have to do after Marcus's lessons. My only comfort is the promise we made: to go to Dauntless together. I fall into an exhausted sleep soon after.
Okay, so I have a few chapters written for this, but for the love of god if someone would like to give me advice, so I can actually keep a multi-chapter fic going for once that would be great.