A/N: I have been wanting to repost this story for a while now. I had to delete this story and change my fanfiction account because of personal reasons, but I am still working on this story in my spare time. This is going to be a long story, so I hope you will stick along with me for the ride. There will be a lot of drama and unhappy moments throughout the story, but it will be mostly humorous.
Please review! :D
CHAPTER ONE
Fin Tutuola and his roommate Elliot Stabler were walking down one of the busiest streets in Manhattan, New York. The two men were also-co workers who worked for a living at the NYPD's Special Victims Unit located in the 16th Precinct. Today, they were making a decision to each donate a kidney to the donation bank.
But Fin was just making the walk to the bank even more awkward, something he would do a lot. He just didn't seem to understand what was appropriate to say in a lot of situations.
"Did you know that if you didn't have mucus in your stomach, it would completely digest itself?" he asked, not bothering to think about what he said.
Elliot, who had been drinking an orange soda, suddenly felt like he was going to throw up his lunch. He spit the orange soda out and almost started choking. Fin hit him on the back hard to help him breathe better.
"Odafin, do you have to make every conversation awkward?" Elliot asked. "Now I don't even want to eat dinner. I almost threw up my lunch!"
"I just wanted to have a conversation with you, Elliot. You know that I'm a very scientific person and I just can't help it. Even though I am a detective, I just know a lot of science things. I will be forever thankful for the Internet."
"Please think before you talk. You just can't say that kind of stuff when someone's eating. People don't want to hear that while they eat food. I'm literally about to vomit right now."
Elliot immediately ran over to the nearest trash can and puked up all the food he had eaten for lunch.
"I think I just thought of a great idea for a t-shirt. I'll put a picture of a stomach on it," Fin continued, still not thinking before he spoke.
Elliot looked down at the shirt he was wearing. The thought of a picture of a human stomach on his shirt was just disturbing. He would walk around in his underwear if he had to - he sometimes was tired of hearing Odafin's random and useless facts. But Elliot couldn't really tell him off; his roommate was on the Autism Spectrum, as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
The two men reached the donation bank and opened the door. Bright sunlight shone through the large windows, making the room seem warmer than being outside.
A Hispanic woman sitting at the front desk looked up from the large stack of folders she had been sorting through once Elliot and Fin walked in.
"Can I help you?" the woman asked.
"Yes, is this the Genius IQ Donation Bank?" Elliot questioned.
"If you have that high of an IQ, I don't know if you should be here," the woman replied.
"Yep, this is the place," Odafin quickly said.
The receptionist handed the two men some papers. "Fill these out."
"We'll be right back," Elliot replied.
"Go ahead, take your time. I'll just go back to these folders."
As Odafin and Elliot took their seats in the waiting room, the latter noticed that his friend was looking slightly uncomfortable. It appeared as though Fin didn't want to be here.
"I shouldn't be here. I don't think I can go through with this," Odafin confessed.
"No, this was your idea and you decided to come here. You decided on this so we could get a better Internet connection signal," Elliot replied. "Plus we'll be helping to save someone's life."
"What's the protocol for leaving? I still feel uncomfortable."
The two men set their unfinished forms on the front desk and headed out the front door.
"Bye," the receptionist said, continuing to go through the folders.
"Bye," Elliot and Fin replied. They pushed the door open and walked down the street back to their car.
They arrived back at their cozy little apartment building. They were required to climb four flights of stairs everyday to go up to their apartment because the elevator was broken and no one had bothered to fix it. As they reached the fourth floor, they noticed that there were moving boxes on the floor and a brunette woman was looking through her furniture for something.
"You still mad about the donation bank decision?" Fin asked.
"No," Elliot replied. He couldn't take his eyes off the brunette woman because she was just too pretty.
"Want to hear an interesting fact about the digestive system?"
"No, not really, not after the disturbing one you told me an hour ago."
But of course, Fin didn't listen to his best friend.
"You can actually live without your stomach," Fin said.
"I don't really care, but you can? That seems impossible," Elliot replied, while still looking at the new neighbor.
"Yea, my father had to have his stomach removed after getting diagnosed with cancer when he was twenty. They couldn't get a transplant, so he has to have a special routine when he wants to eat."
"Looks like we got a new neighbor."
Fin noticed the brunette woman, who was still looking through her furniture. "A nice change from the last one."
However, the woman looked up from digging through her furniture and saw the two men.
"Hi!" she said.
"Hi," the two men responded.
"Hi?"
"Hi? We don't mean to interrupt anything, but we just wanted to let you know that we live across the hall," Elliot said. "I'm Elliot and this is Odafin. But you can call him Fin if you like." He almost started stuttering on his words.
"That's really nice," the woman replied. She seemed to look at them like: Are you two gay?
"We live together as roommates, but we're both straight if that's what you're wondering," Elliot continued.
The woman's facial expression changed. "Thanks for clarifying. I was thinking that, but now I'm good. It was nice to meet you both. Maybe we can go grab a cup of coffee sometime?"
"Yes, that would be great," Fin said.
He turned away from their new neighbor and started walking towards his apartment.
Elliot quickly caught up to his best friend.
"Fin, that was really rude of you. Shouldn't we invite her over for lunch?"
"We were going to start watching season three of Blue Bloods," Odafin replied, hurrying over to the door to unlock it.
"Haven't we already watched all the episodes? I remember watching the season finale yesterday," Elliot said, looking around in his gym bag for something to eat. After running two miles and awkwardly spending fifteen minutes in a donation bank, he was getting hungry.
"We haven't watched the episodes with commentary. And you know how much I love commentary," Fin said, unlocking the door and heading inside to turn on the TV.
But Elliot was still wanting to invite the pretty neighbor over for a meal. He didn't care if Fin was re-watching an entire season.
"I want to be a good neighbor, Fin. I'm inviting her over. Then I'm grabbing Mexican food out of the fridge," Elliot said.
"We never invited our previous neighbor over. I guess he was too creepy."
"He wasn't creepy; you just didn't want him coming over because you didn't want to make any more friends."
"Why should I need more friends? I've got a Twitter page that has six hundred followers. I think that's more than enough friends for a lifetime."
"Yes, I know you have six hundred followers, yet you've never met one of them."
"That's why I'm awesome."
Elliot rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I'm going to invite her over whether you like it or not."
He walked out of the apartment and across the hall to the woman's place, where he knocked on her door.
"Hi again," she said.
"Hi," he replied. "I know that moving is a stressful thing, but we have some Mexican food in the fridge if you want to come over and have some."
"I'm getting hungry, and that sounds like the perfect thing."
The woman followed her neighbor across the hall, where she found Fin getting the food set up on the kitchen island.
"What do you guys do for fun activities around here?" she asked.
"Well, today we tried getting kidneys removed for money," Fin replied, which earned him a very creepy look from Elliot.
Ten minutes later, the food was ready to be eaten. While Elliot scooped the food onto three plates, the woman looked around the apartment. She saw pictures of some of the crime scenes, which were slightly disturbing to look at.
"Wow, Elliot, this is some…very interesting stuff you have," she said. "Doesn't it creep you out seeing that this is how some people's lives end?"
"Yeah, some of those cases just haunt my dreams. But I've learned to live with it," Elliot replied. He brought her a plate, and she found a place to sit…which would turn out to be the one spot in the entire apartment where no one but Fin was allowed to sit.
"Um, miss, that's where I sit," Odafin said. "I didn't catch your name earlier."
"My name is Olivia, but you can also call me by my last name, which is Benson," she replied. "Sit next to me."
"No, only I can sit there."
"What's the difference if you sit somewhere else?"
"The difference?" Fin shrieked.
"Oh no, not again, here we go," Elliot said, quickly stuffing some of the rice into his mouth. "You don't want to know why you can't sit there."
"Yeah, I'd rather not," Olivia replied.
Fin stopped himself from saying his ridiculously long speech.
Olivia continued talking. "Want me to move?"
"No, you're fine," Elliot said. He turned his attention to his best friend, who wasn't moving from the spot he was standing in. "Fin, just find somewhere else to sit for today!"
But Fin wouldn't listen. Instead, he just walked around the apartment, looking for another place to sit and eat his food. But he was looking confused.
"Fin, sit down!" Elliot snapped.
The other man screamed from being startled.
Elliot turned his attention back to Olivia. "I'm sorry for that, it's just that we don't get a lot of company over here this often."
"Hold on a minute, Novak and Munch come over all the time," Fin interrupted. He had grabbed his plate of food and managed to sit down at his desk chair.
"That was Tuesday night. It's now Saturday."
"Of course I remember, how could I not forget our friends coming over here to play Scene It?: The TV Edition."
"Scene It?: The TV Edition? What's that?" Olivia asked. She sounded quite interested.
"It's a trivia game that you play with friends. It asks different questions and shows you clips from TV shows. I think that's enough about us, what about you?"
"Well, I have a half-brother, and my parents are both dead. I love computers and once tried to hack the CIA as part of an assignment when I was in college, but I was arrested by the FBI. This assignment was to work on a cold case that involved a child rapist. I was offered to work as a detective or go to jail. I chose the FBI. I still currently have that job."
"Wow, you tried to hack the CIA? Why?" Elliot asked her.
"I wanted to learn about the rapist so that I could help finish the assignment. I couldn't find anything, so I thought the CIA might have some very interesting info. I also love playing computer games and hanging out with friends. Um, that's pretty much it. The story of Olivia Benson."
"If that was being turned into a movie, I would go and see it. It sounds really awesome."
"My life was pretty awesome until I fell in love with a jerk guy. Even though now I hate his lying, cheating guts, I still love him. It's crazy, isn't it?"
"Yes," both Elliot and Fin said.
"And now I feel totally disgusting from moving and I can't even take a shower because the thing doesn't even work. Why would I get an apartment that doesn't have a working shower?"
"You can use ours; it works," Elliot replied.
"Really? That's so nice, you guys. I'm starting to feel very welcomed into this building."
"Come with me, I'll show you how it works."
Olivia followed him down the hall, while Fin went over to the front door to greet whoever had just knocked.
"This is unbelievable and just awesome," Casey Novak said, holding what appeared to be a TV show disc in her hand.
"I don't even know how you got it, but it's just wonderful that you found it after all this time," John Munch replied.
"Guys, not now, this is not a good time," Elliot said from the hallway, having to excuse himself from helping Olivia. She had quickly picked up on how to work the shower.
"What's awesome?" he continued.
"Casey found a season one DVD of CSI signed by Jorja Fox herself in 2001," Munch said.
"It's before she fell in love with her boss and the two of them started a very weird relationship," Novak replied, picking up where her best friend left off.
"That's awesome, but now is really not the time for you two to be here," Elliot interrupted.
"Why?" Munch asked.
"I'd rather not explain."
"Elliot's got a woman over," Fin said, causing his roommate to blush red.
"Yeah right, is your mother back in town making an early Christmas turkey dinner?" Novak piped up.
"Casey, I told you not to bring that up!" Elliot said, continuing to blush. "And no, my mother's still out on Long Island. We've got a new neighbor that just moved into the building today and I invited her over for lunch. I'm letting her borrow the shower."
"Hold on, there's really a new neighbor here? But why am I picturing disturbing thoughts right now?"
"Could you not say that?" Elliot said. "And no, we're not going out. I just barely met her. But she's really nice."
However, Olivia couldn't figure out how to turn the shower on. So, she left the bathroom and hoped to find Elliot. But then, she spotted him talking with a man and a woman.
"I was having trouble turning - hello?" she asked.
"Guten Tag, Fraulein," the redhead said, bowing. "Casey Novak, Assistant District Attorney, SVU."
"SVU? What's that stand for? And I don't speak German."
"Special Victims Unit. That's where Fin and I work," Elliot explained.
Olivia walked up to him and pulled him aside.
"My TV is at my ex-boyfriend's house, and I forgot to grab it, would you mind getting it? I have the address," she said, handing him a piece of paper.
"I don't mind. I'll take Fin with me."
After Elliot and Odafin left the apartment, Casey and Munch helped themselves to the leftover Mexican food, still warm from the microwave.
The two friends sat down on the couch, and Olivia sat in Fin's spot. She hoped he wouldn't mind.
"So, you guys work with Elliot and Fin at the SVU?" Olivia asked. However, Munch looked at her blankly for a second, shoved a mouthful of rice into his mouth, then looked away.
Olivia was confused. "Do you speak English? Or do you, but it's not your first language?"
"He speaks English, but he just can't talk to women outside his family unless he's drunk," Casey said.
"Really? Why?"
"I'm not sure exactly. He always seems to have been that way."
Elliot arrived at the address that Olivia had given him. He and Fin walked up to the buzzer, and Elliot agreed to do the talking.
"Yes?" a voice asked after the button was pushed.
"Yes, this is Odafin, and I'm Elliot. We're here to pick up Olivia's TV."
"Get lost," the voice snapped.
But the two men weren't leaving without keeping their promise to Olivia. As a couple of Girl Scouts managed to push several buttons, the door opened and Elliot shouted to Fin to grab the door.
The two men ran inside and down the hall to the address that had been given to them.
Elliot agreed to do the talking again, and knocked on the door.
A tall man opened the door, looking slightly tired.
"Yes?" the man asked.
"I'm Elliot, and this is Odafin. From the intercom outside."
The man was getting angry. "How in the world did you two get in the building?"
"We're geniuses," Fin quickly lied. However, it was half-true. Fin was a genius with a 187 IQ, but Elliot didn't nearly have that high of an IQ.
"Tell him about how high our intelligence quotients are," Elliot said.
Elliot was feeling guilty for dragging Odafin along with him. Though they were forced to give up their pants, they managed to have Olivia's TV being shipped to her new apartment tomorrow morning.
They entered their apartment and found Olivia getting along quite well with Casey, but not with Munch because he was still sober.
She noticed Elliot and Fin walking through the doorway with no TV and no pants.
"What happened?" she asked, running over to them.
"Your ex sends his regards for your TV. It will be shipped to your apartment tomorrow morning," Elliot said.
"Thanks guys. How about you go get some pants, and I'll grab my purse. Second lunch is on me."
"Sounds good."
Up next: The group all enjoy lunch at the apartment, and Olivia continues to hang out with her new friends. Fin cleans Olivia's apartment while she sleeps.