A/N: Hey y'all, welcome to the first PPG fanfic I've published on FanFiction. It might feel cringey since it's actually an old idea that I decided to go with. The idea appeared in one of my darkest days… just kidding. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own the PowerPuff Girls; they belong to Craig McCracken. The song used in this chapter, "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan, also doesn't belong to me.
Sometimes, she wondered if life was fair even when deep down inside, she'd like to believe that it was. It was a known fact. The cause of unfairness was because of unbalance… for example, you did too many evil things and the world would be unfair for you, but she'd witnessed with her own eyes that sometimes, the rule didn't function properly.
Sometimes, even when evil people stayed evil and did a lot more evil deeds, they were still blessed. And those were the times she became confused and doubtful; those were the times she needed guidance… those were the times she came to her to clear her confusion.
Her eyes snapped shut briefly, involuntarily blocking out the image she so desperately needed to draw. Her mind needed it to fill her want, but her heart couldn't handle it.
She had always been a soft girl.
Her fingers gripped the pencil tighter and she tried her best to avoid using her extra strength and breaking the item. She let the image ambush her mind and took a few deep breaths.
'I've done this before. I can do this again.' She thought, calming her nerves and pushing the tears back.
She glanced down and the gears in her head turned as her hand continued to move the pencil over the half-filled, white surface. The grey tip left grey traces in certain spots, some darker than others due to her shaking.
Baby blue eyes blinked down at her creation. Cotton pink eyes, so dull and so… lifeless. The very things that haunted her dreams every night.
Thud, thud, thud.
A lone sweat rolled down the side of her face, going unnoticed. The second sweat followed close after, but was also ignored. Her emerald green eyes focused on one thing only.
Punches after punches she threw at the red punching bag that swung ferociously at her, which she welcomed with an uppercut kick.
When the swinging bag came back at her for the second time, she collected all her human energy onto her right fist and slammed it onto the punching bag.
It stopped swinging, angering her to no ends. She channeled more anger the more she stared at the punching back. With a growl signaling the start of another round, she took a deep breath and went back to assaulting the sturdy bag made to help her let out some steam.
But all that happened was she started remembering.
All the hateful things other people did, their words and… all the things she hated about herself. She had just started to remember all that she'd done to her sisters when suddenly, a familiar image crushed down in her mind, breaking her out of her vengeful reverie.
She thought about the bitches, mostly their arrogant, devil's incarnation of an asshole She betted that he'd be smirking victoriously if he knew, mocking them and maybe even spat a few curses on her–
She took two steps back, and it wasn't because she wanted to avoid the swinging bag. The bag swung till it stopped; her gaze was on the same spot all the time, but she was staring ahead at nothing in particular, lost in her own thoughts. She was taken aback.
"You know what's inside of you. You know what you are. All you need to know is how to direct your hateful and vengeful spirit in a better way. You need to take all the energy from the negative side and transfer it to your positive side, changing it into a positive energy… like an extra superpower."
'Deep breaths, deep breaths. Clear your thoughts…' she inhaled slowly, '…and let go.'
One thing that she was also right about… was that a memorable person's words stayed even when they didn't.
Her eyes closely resembled murky amethyst as they watched the children in park play along. A particular–or should she say, two particular children held her attention.
There were two twin girls near the see-saw. One of them was crying while the other one was scolding her it seemed, as she had a finger raised in a reprimanding style. She observed as the scolding girl's features softened and she hugged the girl.
The scene blew her away. The sweetness of it did nothing, it was the actions instead that had shocked her to the core due to the heavy resemblances they had to her own past.
They were very familiar, as she had witnessed it in a first person's point of view. She had been the crying girl, and the scolding girl–
She shook her head, pulling her knees up on the bench and putting her head on top of it. She felt as if someone was trying to bring up all those memories she had of her, but she supposed that was what happened when she went to one of the places one of those memories was born in.
Happy memories, sad ones… she was never one to reminisce all the bad times in her lives as she's always too busy expend her time in the world on fun and entertainment.
So how did she get caught in a mess of her own feelings?
The answer was simple.
She was still human, even if she could blast lasers out of her eyes, flew like a bird, and land a nasty blow.
When misfortune happens after another misfortune, all the negative feelings would stack and she wouldn't have had time to sort it all out.
She could only surrender.
Of course, she wouldn't give up on life.
Life's a gift and it's too short.
And hers was even more.
She was suddenly reminded of a quote she'd once read on the internet, and one that she had read out loud from behind her that day. She'd never guessed that it would stuck to the deepest part inside of her, but even more than that, she didn't expect that it would be brought up one day.
"You'd never miss a person if it weren't for the memories they'd left."
/I will remember you/
She would remember. How could she not?
/Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories/
She didn't know if there was an afterlife, or if she would remember her, remember her past life. She wouldn't weep for the memories they'd created, the result of an unbreakable bond.
/Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one/
Even though she wasn't one to hold a grudge for so long and let the grudge replace the many good memories, even if it was normal to do, she still regretted for being mad at her; she thought–no, she knew she could do better than that.
She, on the other hand, would be the one smiling as if she'd already forgotten their fight.
/I'm so tired, but I can't sleep/
As the song had stated, she was exhausted even if all she'd done was stare blankly at the wall while listening to songs that matched her mood.
She'd put it on shuffle, but she honestly didn't expect that out of a thousand of songs in her phone, it was the one to play. It almost felt like destiny filling a prophecy.
/Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard/
She often caught herself almost falling into the dark, pitch black hole that she knew only led to deep, sorrowful memories. She felt so… full of many things that were unidentified. The accuracy of the song was starting to affirm her opinion of destiny's doing.
/I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light/
Loving used to be such simple thing, such harmless thing since they're fully aware of their abilities and… gifts. And thus, the consequence shrunk to the size of sand.
But now what had happened to her, to all of them, she's afraid, might had tarnished their definitions of love and broken their trust, thus making "loving" a somewhat impossible thing to do.
She remembered all the dark nights where endless tossing happened and recurring nightmares troubled them till the end of night.
Oh, how she missed the way she'd be the light to guide them in the darkness, lugging them to their feet forcefully because she knew of the good it would do, even though she'd been–if not was still–caged by darkness itself.
/Weep not for the memories,
Weep not for the memories…/
She could hear the song drawing to an end and felt heaviness on her eyelids, forcing them to close. She tried to bring the happy memories she was remembering just before she fell asleep, but found herself being promised to a wonderful dream as she heard her soft laughter waft in the air and the sounds of waves crashing by.
She let out a quick breath, eyes focusing ahead. She took steady strides, not too slow yet not too fast. She tried pushing them down. They were devils; they wanted to go out, to control her.
She threw the garland of pink roses on the mound of earth, cursing later for letting her body move without her consent and apologizing afterwards for saying the curse.
She imagined her observing her curiously from wherever she was, and giggling at her ridiculousness.
She pulled out the thick, rolled paper which was adorned with beautiful, baby pink, curly letters. She'd edited it also before printing it so that there was a curvy, royal, golden border on the paper.
She had come prepared–no matter how incredulous it might seem, despite being a superhero.
She knelt on the ground while shrugging the bag strap, the only thing that held her bag from falling, off her shoulder. She pulled out a duct tape and scissor, not in the mood for using any power she had.
Finally, after gluing the paper on top of the headstone, letting the wind pick it up and tease it, her eyes trailed each word, like she'd done many times beforehand.
"Voice like an angel's
Eyes of a goddess
Heart of pure gold
The girl with a ribbon
When darkness invaded
You kept standing tall
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You led us despite everything
All those advices
All those commands
Your face, your rosy eyes
Were planted in my mind
How could we forget
Our fallen comrade
Our leader and commander
Our dearly beloved
You shall be remembered
You shall be cherished
Till we reunite
Our Blossom, our sister"
She felt a tear stinging the corner of her eye, paying no attention to the pink rose petals blowing around her as a form of comfort in the shape of a mini tornado.
No more leader girl.
No more nerds.
No more bossy "mother".
Even if there were still five of them, it felt too quiet. And she usually liked quiet.
She let out a huge breath, dropping down to sit on her haunches. She rested her head on her knees.
It was too much.
The ground beneath her felt cold. Her skin identified it as marble tiles. The cool breeze whirling around her did not help, but it wasn't like she disliked the cold.
She loved it. She adored it.
Yet something felt out of place.
There was not a single marble tile in her house.
Where is she anyway?
Her ears picked up on the sound of waves crashing nearby.
Her body felt heavy, but light on the inside. She tried moving her fingers, but they refused to cooperate with her.
Her eyelids felt too heavy. She needed to see her surroundings.
Where was she?