Look, I'm sorry. I really am but I need to do this, I mean seriously. C'mon! Who wouldn't want to read a fanfic all about me? Is it still a fanfic? Gah, my head. Well, enjoy reading Deadpool: The Merc with the Mouth. Starring me, Deadpool!
I looked up and saw the nuke heading for my face (don't question it dear reader, explanation comes later) and I jumped as it took out the small town of Sokovia and the surrounding fields (it's a fictional city in the Marvel comics and it was the main place in the s*** film Age of Ultron). I lay in the crater and laughed. Was that all A.I.M. could do? I mean, come on right? Nuking a city that doesn't exist in the real world. I pulled my head back on and got up, clapping slowly and a small drone flew up to my face.
"Hello," I greeted the A.I.M. device. I winked under my mask and swatted it like a fly, breaking it. I yelled out and it fixed almost instantly. Man I love having my G Logan's healing factor. You could call it a lazy way to give my character a healing factor back in the nineties, or, like me, you may think it gives me charm. I whipped a pistol from my leg and aimed it straight at the eye of the drone. It backed off slowly and I pulled the trigger. BOOM!
Now, I hear you asking why Sokovia was nuked while I was there. It's simple, really. I stole some s*** from A.I.M. and they got p***** at me. Worth the risk, Logan said. More like he wanted me dead. I don't think he likes me very much. But nobody likes me, not even Spidey. I guess I'm lonely in the Marvel Universe. Then I had an idea. It was a good idea, listen. I was going to go between dimensions and find me a friend. Cool plan but a not so cool execution of said plan.