The Monster
Naruto belongs to Kishimoto
Author's Note: I am working on my new Rinnegan Naruto fic when a flash of inspiration for a quick one-shot hit me and I couldn't really contain the desire to write it. I hope it doesn't suck too badly!
Orochimaru was, without a doubt, a monster.
Since his youthful days, he had been called a monster, he had sought for the longest time to prove them wrong. He failed miserably.
He experimented on orphaned children remorselessly, he had tortured prisoners for no other reason than to learn their jutsu and had just recently murdered his sensei, the Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen.
Yes, Orochimaru was a monster, but behind every monster, there was a man. A fact that the infamous missing-nin cursed daily, as he found himself indulging in his guilty pleasure.
Resting on his bed as Kabuto stealthily used Sasori's network to locate Tsunade to heal his hands, he used his disgustingly long tongue reached over to his nightstand and unseal the marking he had hidden in the wood, unbeknownst even to his most trusted subordinate Kabuto.
The item was slowly lifted up to him as he laid it on his lap.
He cursed his weakness, the strange sense of guilt and repulsive nostalgia it brought to him.
The scrapbook was tedious to use without his hands but Orochimaru was not hampered too much by this small setback.
At least that was what he told himself whenever that unearthly rage overtook him.
The sight of a young Jiraya being brutally mauled by that demon cat (which apparently was still around, could it be immortal? It wouldn't surprise Orochimaru if that wretched devil cat stayed alive through the power of spite) never ceased to bring a smile to his face. Not a smirk, but a genuine smile, the kind that a normal person would make.
These random flashes of humanity sickened the Snake Sannin because of one irrefutable fact, they meant that he regretted what he had done.
Yet he wished to learn all the ninjutsu in the world, so why did his chosen path make his heart rip itself to pieces?
Or wait...did he want to be immortal? Everything became so confusing so very quickly in his quest for power and knowledge. There were times he wondered how he turned out as he did.
His parents...dead...death...the unearthly specter that awaited him, just waiting to take him and his precious knowledge to a realm beyond where it could even be used. He would not die, he couldn't! He would never be powerless to decide his own fate ever again.
Could he really have missed Sensei's terrible dad jokes, Tsunade's drunken gambling pitfalls, and even that fool of a Sage's perverse gestures and challenges?
Yes, he admitted that much, maybe he did.
They were the closest thing he had to family, perhaps that is why deep down he felt his hands were better off gone. The hands that had killed the man who might as well have been his father for the affection the foolish, overly sentimental geezer had showered him with.
Because Hiruzen was a fool for caring about him, why did the man care for a monster like him?
Jiraya's days were numbered too, Orochimaru mused as he used his tongue to turn the page of his last momento, he was investigating the Akatsuki, a group that had members that were even beyond the combined might of Otogakure.
Leader-sama...the man that would undoubtedly kill Jiraya when that old pervert finally learned something he was better off not knowing. A part of Orochimaru screamed for him to warn his once-best-friend, he ignored it. He was a monster, not a samaritan if that fool got himself killed than so be it.
Tsunade...would most likely be chosen as the replacement for the Old Man since Jiraya would no doubt refuse. Orochimaru snickered at the picture of Jiraya's first 'peeping' and prompt beating at the Konoha hot springs.
"Why do you peek on women in a Shinobi Village, let alone one of the Great Five, Jiraya, when civilians are less likely to…" Orochimaru gestured to his teammates limp, broken body, Jiraya laughed uproariously.
"The beatings are the REASON I get beat up bastard!" The white-haired child of a shinobi laughed more as he winced, "I get the BEST views when they're too caught up in their feminine rage to cover themselves properly!"
"What was that Jiraya?"
The Future Toad Sage paled as he turned his bruised face to see none other than Senju Tsunade glaring at him furiously.
"Now, now, I've already been…" Tsunade leaped forward, fist covered in a light chakra covering, "Orochimaru HELP ME!"
Orochimaru did not help him, but for the first time in his rather long memory...he had smiled.
Tsunade as Hokage...a strange thought if there was ever one. Since he had been but a small child he had dreamed of being Hokage, being the man who the village looked up to and respected rather than being known as that freak who looked like a snake. But now...
The memories of his precious student and teacher perishing from the job had long since broken the idea of being the head honcho of Konoha for Jiraya, a title that Orochimaru had once frothed over...but now he could only see the broken bonds, hurt pride and that dreadful Yondaime's face.
Yes, there were times when he regretted his defection, but it did not matter. He had vowed to himself to learn all the jutsu in the world, to know all, to surpass even the likes of Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama and even his personal Hero, Senju Tobirama.
He was a monster, or so the other children said.
On his first day on Team 7, he said as such to his sensei.
"Orochimaru...you are not a monster, you are just like me or any other shinobi"
An indirect lie if he had ever heard one, all Shinobi were inherently monsters. They fought and murdered others for glory and coin and even had the nerve to see themselves as protectors of the innocent.
Years later, when he had run into his old teacher after his defection he had asked him the same question. Their meeting quickly became a cataclysmic confrontation of the fields of Demon Country.
"Am I a monster NOW sensei?" He taunted, his breath catching as he awaited an answer, swiftly dodging a veritable swarm of shuriken and kunai, "Has the monster in me finally grown enough for you to notice?"
The silence was more than enough of an answer. It cut deeper than the Kusanagi ever could, not that he let it show.
He closed the book and placed it back in the seal. He wanted to burn it, burn away the memories, burn away the pain. But doing so would mean burning away the man he once was, leaving him as only the monster within.
He knew one day he would destroy that book and destroy the child who put up with his team's antics with exasperation and a shy smile, the child who wished to be Hokage, who wished not to be the monster everyone had told him he was.
Was it wrong for him to feel such kinship to the Kyuubi brat? Both of them had been seen as monsters and outcasts. While he had retreated into himself and became the silent prodigy, the boy had become the loud mouth prankster who wore orange to be noticed. They were one and the same, even if no one else knew that.
One day that child inside of him would die, and there would only be the monster. He wished that stupid blond brat all the luck in the world in proving that he was not a monster like him; there just wasn't enough room for two people like them.
Author's Note: A short one-shot a short time after the Chunin Exams and the Tsunade Arc. Orochimaru was always an interesting character to pick apart and analyze. The flow of the chapter might be a bit wonky but this was just really to get some stuff off my overworked mind.
I might do more of these for other characters if the mood ever hits me.
Be safe you all, this coronavirus stuff has been horrible but we'll get through it!
Please review, constructive criticism and information on what you all liked are key to me improving!