"No… No… No!" I woke in a sweat "more nightmares… " I whispered as I looked around my room.
I was curled up on my couch, safe in my room. I sighed, more nightmares of my time with… him.
I Got up and looked at the Clock '1:13 AM" I sighed again as I heard a rumble in my stomach. Guess it's not too late to have a bedtime snack I thought as I slipped out of my room.
My name is Terra, for those wondering. About a year ago I was manipulated by a madman by the name of Slade. I Hadn't known how to control her powers, he'd promised to teach me, but only if I Joined him. And when I had, I'd turned her back on the Titans -the first people to actually show me love.
While I Had seen the light, defeated Slade, and sacrificed myself for them, it was still a mistake that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Yet despite everything they still seemed to love me, -maybe it was just the heroic sacrifice, or maybe they were just that nice ...or naive, if I'm Being honest. Even I understood how stupid this decision was -not that I'm complaining, I'm just worried that next time the traitor wouldn't have actually seen the light.- and had chosen to resurrect me about a month ago. Actually according to Beast Boy they'd been trying since the beginning, which didn't really soothe my fears that I didn't deserve any of this -no. I don't deserve this. That was just a fact. But they didn't seem to understand that.
I Stopped short at the kitchen, where a certain titan was already there making herself tea. Great.
This wouldn't be a problem if it were any other titan, but it was Raven. You remember the part about how none of them understood what a bad idea forgiving me so quickly was? Well Raven was the only one who seemed to understand this.
She had pale skin, purple eyes, and brown-violet eyes which only looked prettier with her black leotard, dark blue cloak, and cloth shoes. The girl had been ignoring me the last month, and while I know I deserve it, and should just let it be,I just can't. Every Time I see the Empath I find my heart racing trying to make it up to the girl.
I don't know much about the girl, and the other Titans had explained to her that Raven should be the one to tell me that information, not them. But I do know from the interactions we had before my betrayal that despite her cold walls, the people she does let in she loves more than anything.
"Hey…" I said nervously hoping maybe I could have a positive conversation with Raven for once since the betrayal.
"What are you doing up so late?" She responded coldly. Ok, guess no positive conversations today
"I could ask you the same question" I muttered
"What was that?"
"Nightmares"
"Same here" I stood, dumbfounded at Raven honesty. Maybe this conversation wouldn't be pining over lost friendship. Maybe it would be the first step to recovery… maybe.
"You don't seem to like me all that much, why?" it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"You know why"
"Well I mean, everyone else trusts me again, and while it doesn't make sense why they trust me again, you not trust me again makes it all so much more confusing."
She shrugged "I don't know how they trust you again so quickly."
It was silent between us, 'til she began speaking again. What she said next will be forever ingrained into my brain.
"Terra, do you know how much you meant to me?"
I was quiet. What did she mean by that? "I know you cherish those you let in more than anything"
"No, I cared for you more than that…" she was solemn before whispering "I loved you…"
"Of course you loved me. You love everyone you let in. you love all the Titans" you really are one of the kindest people I've ever met, Raven.
"No" she sighed in exasperation. "I meant I had a… crush on you."
I just stood there, frozen with shock. "you… loved me? As more than a friend?" she slowly nodded.
"Once I finally began believing you learned to control your power, I thought of you as this Beautiful and powerful being, able to do what I could only dream of, yet still as a kindred spirit. If I'd known…"
For a moment I began wondering what would've been if I'd stayed with the titans, if I hadn't joined Slade. Raven and Robin would've most likely been the ones training me. Then Me and Raven would've become close… could we have been more than friends? Did I like Raven as more than a friend? I suppose that would explain my quickening heartbeat, my constant thoughts of our lost friendship and pining for her trust.
But it was too late for that I guess, after everything I did. But maybe not for our friendship. "What can I do to make it up to you?"
She was quiet for what felt like an eternity before responding with "just… give it time. If you keep up the good work, then maybe I'll be able to forgive you" before leaving with her tea.
I let out a smile. I may have Betrayed our chances of romance, but I had a chance to get the friendship back, and a chance was all I needed.