There are spoilers for Chapter 9 of the Remake, as well as a spoiler for a method of transport later in the game. No spoilers for the original game.
The Pride of Acceptance
By Nanaki Lioness
"I told you, I'm busy."
Aerith placed her hands on her hips, pouting in a manner that suggested that Cloud had just declined a request to save kittens from a horrible death. "But Cloud! You wouldn't make me go to Wall Market all by myself, would you?"
"Funny. I thought you could take care of yourself. What's different today?"
"Just come would you?"
She pouted again, hands still firmly on her hips, waiting for the inevitable relent she knew would come. Cloud fixed her with an unimpressed look, sighed a few times, and finally sighed again deeply and rolled his eyes.
"Fine. I'll come. Let's head out, then."
"Not yet." Aerith said, eyes lighting up like fireflies in the dark as she clenched her hands excitedly together. "I need to get changed. Be back soon!"
Cloud watched her race off, confused why she felt the need to change, and even more confused when she turned up again over an hour later in something completely new to her. She had a rainbow ribbon tied in her hair, rainbow bangles on her wrist, and a hot pink dress. She had painted a rainbow onto one cheek carefully with make-up, and was clutching two wooden sticks with rainbow flags on the ends in one hand.
"Ready?" She said, practically bouncing with excitement.
Cloud shrugged and followed her in search of the closest chocobo travel stop. Aerith was often a little strange, and he was past the days of bothering to question her about her choices.
The chocobo was adorned in rainbow colours too. Cloud eyed it carefully, glancing at the handler and indicating with one hand. "Your chocobo is very colourful today."
"Of course it is," the handler said, handing Cloud back his travel pass. "It's Pride today. Your lady is all dressed up too, and so are most folks on their way down to Wall Market."
"She's not my lady," Cloud said, but Aerith grabbed his hand and pulled him into the back of the carriage with a chuckle.
"I come to Pride every year," Aerith finally explained. "It's so much fun, Cloud! You'll really enjoy it."
"Whatever happened to not wanting to go to Wall Market alone? Now you're saying you do this every year?"
"Everything's all fancy, there's a parade and Andrea puts on a show at the Honeybee Inn. There's music and everybody smiles-"
Cloud tuned her out and stared out of the carriage window, aware he wasn't going to get any answers to his questions. Aerith realised he wasn't listening and playfully shoved him lightly, pushing a flag into one of his hands.
"It's good to show support," she said sternly. "And remember, we're going into other people's safe place. Be nice!"
Cloud narrowed his eyes a little, frowning at that. "Aerith, if you think I'd say anything mean to people there because of their sexuality-"
"I don't mean that you'd be heartless on purpose!" Aerith interrupted, shaking her head rapidly. "Just by, you know, being you."
"Right." Cloud glanced down at the flag in his hand, then placed it on the seat next to him. "Thanks for that. I'm not waving any flags and I'm not going to the Honeybee Inn."
"Are you sure? Andrea would be really pleased to see you."
"I'm sure he would be."
"You're so moody, Cloud. Lighten up and relax so you actually have a good time, won't you?"
Cloud had many words of displeasure, but they always died in his throat when confronted with Aerith. Her radiant personality was infectious, and he knew it was a losing battle to ever say no if she truly wanted something.
Wall Market was positively dripping with rainbows. Cloud looked around, unable to see a single window that didn't have some kind of rainbow paraphernalia in it. If it wasn't a traditional rainbow then it was some other kind of coloured flag; Aerith quickly pointed out that they represented different sexualities and gender identities. He feigned interest to keep her happy, and let her take him through the crowded streets to wherever it was she wanted to go. All he had to do was watch the parade, then go. The Honeybee Inn was definitely out, and by then he could say he'd fulfilled his job as companion for the afternoon. The atmosphere around them was quite contagious, in the same way the common cold might be perhaps.
Aerith led them to what she called a prime spot for the parade; up a flight of stairs, overlooking the bustling streets of Wall Market. She leaned over the iron railings slightly- they were also, predictably, wrapped in rainbow ribbon- and waved her flag enthusiastically, cheering as she did so.
"No," Cloud said as she turned to him and opened her mouth to speak. "No flag."
Aerith shoved the flag at him anyway. "Spoil sport."
Clutching the flag in one hand, Cloud leaned against the railing and sighed deeply. Coming from such a small town in the middle of nowhere, he'd never experienced anything like Pride before. He'd heard of it in passing, but as with most things he filtered it out as something that other people did. He eyed Aerith as she hollered and waved her flag excitedly, jumping up and down a little in joy.
"So," he said, before realising he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask the question on his lips. "Does this mean that you-" he paused, and Aerith gave him an amused smile. "That you, you know- I mean-"
"No, I'm not a lesbian," Aerith said, finally rescuing him. "But you knew that already, right?"
Her eyes lingered just a little too long on his bare arms, a tiny smirk on the corner of her lips. Cloud awkwardly shifted position to hold his arms with his hands, not meeting her eye.
"I want to support the people who might not have anybody to support them," Aerith said, looking down at the streets below them. "Plenty of people don't have family or friends that accept them. I want to make sure they're still loved, even if it's just by a stranger."
Cloud allowed himself the barest of smiles for her. "You have a good heart, Aerith."
"And you're not waving your flag," she said, grabbing his arm and holding it out into the air before shaking it violently. "Go on. Just wave it a little. It won't kill you."
It wasn't long before the streets filled out even more, and the music in the air changed. The first float of the parade began to move through the streets, and the people below lit up with it. Dancing, singing, cheering and even more flag waving; Cloud had never seen so many people so happy before. He'd never admit it to Aerith, but it was nice to see.
"So how about you?" Aerith asked him, about halfway through the parade after the gym's over-decorated float had glided through the streets.
"What do you mean?"
Aerith met his eye, giving him a sweet smile. "Sexuality and gender identity and all that. How about you? I don't expect you to actually answer me, but with how quickly you indulged Andrea for a dance, I thought-"
"You thought wrong," Cloud interrupted firmly. "Enjoy your parade and then we're leaving."
"So touchy," Aerith said, returning to her flag waving. It was more than a little half-hearted, and Cloud exhaled wearily at the change in demeanour.
"I only let Andrea dress me up to get into Corneo's mansion. You know that."
"Mm. Wave your flag, would you? That's Madam M's float coming up."
Madam M's float was black with red ropes around it, blaring sultry music as she stood in the middle of it in a rainbow kimono. She fanned herself with a rainbow fan, blowing a kiss up to Cloud and Aerith when she spotted them. Aerith whooped and frantically waved her flag in response, while Cloud looked away and refused to meet her gaze.
Andrea's float was the finisher for the parade. He and a gathering of honeybees danced to preppy music, while an industrial-sized bubble machine dumped legions of bubbles out into the air. Cloud allowed himself one half-hearted wave of his flag as it passed through, and only when Andrea wasn't looking. Aerith noticed though, and gave him a beaming smile.
"All done now? Can we go?" Cloud said, pushing the flag back at Aerith.
Aerith refused to take it, shaking her head. "I wanted to watch the show, remember? I know you didn't forget."
She'd managed to secure a front row booth, because of course she had. Cloud suspected she'd contacted Andrea Rhodea herself to make sure of it. Sinking down on the plush couch irritably, he glared at Aerith when she smiled at him and immediately felt bad for it.
"I'll buy drinks," he said by way of apology, not waiting to see what she wanted before heading to the bar. She seemed happy enough with the cocktail he'd picked for her, settling for whiskey for himself. Maybe a shot of something hard would relax him enough to actually enjoy the show.
He was often tense. He knew that. But there was something different about the tension in his shoulders; something more guarded and private. It was almost like if he let his guard down, something would creep in- or perhaps out- that he didn't want.
It wasn't like he'd ever had time to consider anything like this. He'd had time to consider gender while dressed up for Corneo, and had come to the robust conclusion that he was quite comfortable in his body and it was an experience he wasn't looking to repeat. As for romantic feelings, he'd successfully repressed any urges that made their way to the surface; like seeing Aerith dressed up by Madam M, walking towards him while fireworks exploded behind her like a scene from a postcard, or the first time he'd seen Sephiroth's photo in a newspaper.
He pushed the last thought away so roughly he almost gave himself whiplash, sinking the whiskey and glaring at the empty stage in front of them. Andrea needed to get the show over with, so he could go home and set fire to the damn flag on the table in front of him.
"Cloud?"
He glanced at Aerith, who was looking a little concerned. She leaned in a little closer to him, studying him intently.
"What?" He snapped, trying to keep the irritability out of his tone and failing.
"You're not enjoying yourself anymore," she said. "You were, but something changed."
Normally Aerith had the grace to give people an out in a conversation. An 'are you tired?' or 'it's been a long day' went a long way to smoothing out any misplaced irate feelings. Instead she kept his gaze and said nothing more, waiting expectantly for an answer. He didn't indulge her with one, getting up without a word to get another drink instead.
Aerith didn't attempt any further conversation. Instead she fiddled with her flag, and glanced around her in an attempt to look anywhere but at Cloud. Cloud took a deep breath and tried to take a moment of calm before speaking to her.
"Look, Aerith-"
"The show's about to begin," Aerith said brightly, looking up as the lights began to dim around them. "Just let me watch, and we can go back."
As always, Andrea's show was electrifying. The honeybees all had different flags, and Andrea himself entered the stage with a large pink, purple and blue flag and stood proudly for a moment while cameras flashed around them.
"What flag is that?" Cloud asked. Aerith glanced at him, a tiny smile on her lips as she seemed to perk up a little at the question.
"Andrea's one? It's for bisexuality, Cloud. It means he likes girls and guys."
"I know what bisexuality is," Cloud muttered at her, hoping she couldn't see the redness of his cheeks in the dim lighting as she studied him intently. "Sorry I asked. Watch the show, not me."
Aerith continued to watch him though, finally laying one hand on his arm as Andrea danced up a storm on stage. "Are you okay?"
Cloud yanked his arm away and stood up. "I'll wait outside. Come find me when you're done."
"No, I don't think so." Aerith grabbed his arm and even though he knew he could pull away from her grip easily, something stopped him. Instead, Cloud slowly sat back down and glared daggers at the stage instead.
He wasn't surprised when Andrea approached their booth mid-dance, giving them a seductive smile and holding one hand out. "Nice to see you again, Cloud. Do you want to join me?"
"No," Cloud said shortly. Andrea laughed heartily at that, then grabbed his hand and yanked him to a stand.
"You don't have to dance this time," Andrea told him as he pulled him to the stage, effortlessly dancing towards a nearby honeybee who was holding his flag nearby. He took it from them and twirled, spinning back towards Cloud and giving it to him. "Just stand here and hold this for me."
So, Cloud did. Every inch of his body screamed to sit back down, to run, to get the hell out of there before someone noticed and the parts of his heart he had stuffed into boxes far too small burst out and exploded confetti and glitter everywhere in a huge display of coming out that might have him die of shame right there on the stage. It was Andrea's flag, not his. It didn't represent him. It represented Andrea. It represented other people.
He stared at the floor, holding the wooden pole of the flag without looking at it while Andrea and his honeybees danced exquisitely inches away from him. At one point Andrea danced around him as though he were a pole, touching him and running his hands down his bare arms lightly, before finally taking the flag back for the finale. Unsure if he should leave, Cloud stayed rooted to the spot. He chanced a look at Aerith, who was clapping with her hands in the air and clearly having the time of her life. She made being happy look so effortless.
Andrea waltzed back over to him and grabbed one hand, spinning him around and posing for the finish by planting a kiss on his cheek. Cloud didn't move, almost didn't breathe, hyper-sensitive to the warm feel of the man's lips and contrasting sharpness of his designer stubble.
"Beautiful," Andrea said when he pulled away moments later. "Thank you, Cloud."
Cloud took that as his cue to leave, walking quickly back to Aerith in the booth. She smiled widely at him, though it fell slightly when she saw the look on his face.
"Okay, we're done here. Time to go."
Aerith held her cocktail up, frowning at him. "But I didn't finish my drink yet-"
"Enough!"
Cloud hadn't meant to raise his voice. A couple of nearby people glanced at them, and Aerith slowly lowered the drink down to the table with a soft clink. The rainbow umbrella swished in the glass lightly.
"Are you talking to me, or yourself?" Aerith finally said, keeping his gaze and holding it firm.
"I'm not gay," he hissed at her.
"I know." Aerith still didn't shrink from his intense gaze.
Cloud opened his mouth to shoot back something sharp, then closed it again. It felt like poison on his tongue when he tried to speak again, unable to bring himself to do so.
"I'll get us drinks this time," Aerith said demurely as she stood up. "You got the last two, so it's only fair."
He could run, but where to? Aerith would still be there again when they got back, and she'd still know. He shoved the thought away- she didn't know anything because there was nothing to know, and he'd never said he knew anything about anything.
Aerith put a cocktail down in front of him, complete with an umbrella. It was blue, purple and pink; a copy of Andrea's flag. "Sorry, no whiskey from me. Try it! It's sweet, but it's really good."
Cloud crushed the umbrella as he pulled it forcefully out of his drink, flinging it angrily onto the table. Aerith picked it back up and attempted to smooth it back out.
"You know," she said quietly, eyes on the umbrella as she methodically worked on trying to fix it as best she could. "It's okay to be scared."
"Please don't."
Cloud was a little alarmed at how pleadingly he'd spoken. The cat was well and truly out of the bag, running down the road wearing a rainbow cape. Words couldn't be sucked out of the air once spoken; couldn't be rammed back into someone's throat and smothered. He sipped the drink in front of him, hoping it would quell the lump in his throat.
"I didn't know. I wasn't trying to-"
Aerith was lost for words. She awkwardly fiddled with the umbrella in her fingers, finally letting it drop to the table.
"I'm not mad at you," Cloud said. Reassurance was one thing he could give her, because it wasn't her fault that he felt like he had faulty wiring inside his brain.
"You're mad at yourself."
He didn't give a response. He didn't trust speaking right then, afraid if he did that his lips would spill more of his secrets.
"It's not like you chose it. There's nothing wrong with it, either!"
"Aerith-"
Aerith put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "It's okay, Cloud. It's all okay."
The part of his soul that he'd buried deeply reacted to those words, attempting to crawl out into open in the way that flowers turn to sunlight. He didn't want to meet her eye, but everywhere else was a display of rainbows. Crying into a cocktail wasn't exactly his plan for the evening, so he finished the drink and stood up. This time Aerith let him, but she didn't move herself.
"You can wait outside," she said softly. "I just bought this drink, right? I don't want to waste it."
As always, she'd given him an out. He knew he could flee Wall Market and she'd let him, and she'd never say another word about it. She'd never ask him to Pride again; she'd never even look at another rainbow in his vicinity, if it made him more comfortable.
Slowly, he sat back down. To her credit Aerith didn't react, sipping her drink and humming softly to herself as she looked around the room at all the happy people enjoying the music now playing from a nearby jukebox.
"I meant it when I said I've never really thought about it," he said quietly. It was true- he'd never allowed it. "And I still don't really want to."
"In your own time," Aerith told him, laying one hand over his. "And if that's never, then, well… I'll be sad for you, but it's okay. I- Cloud?"
Cloud glared at her, but there was no malice in his eyes; only tears. "Can you stop that?"
"Stop being nice?" Aerith laughed at that, plucking the umbrella out of her cocktail. She leaned over and tucked it into Cloud's clothing, the same way she had with the flower when they'd first met. "I'd say sorry for that, but I'm really not."
Cloud removed the umbrella, putting it back into Aerith's drink. "Just finish your drink so we can go, would you?"
Aerith smiled, finished the drink, and finally allowed him to lead to her the exit. In the reception a honeybee was holding out a basket with wristbands and glow-sticks in it, smiling at everyone and thanking them for coming. Aerith picked out one of each with a smile, cracking the glow-stick nosily as the honeybee held the basket out to Cloud.
"Would you like something? Thank you for coming," she said, as Cloud slowly pulled out a glow-stick. Hesitating, he picked up a blue, purple and pink wristband and then the basket was gone, the honeybee already taking it to another patron.
Aerith had already slipped her rainbow wristband on, waving the glow-stick like a flag. "I got a pink one! How about you?"
Cloud cracked the glow-stick, holding it up after a moment. "Yellow."
"Chocobo coloured!" Aerith said, linking one arm into his. "It can light our way home."
"How much alcohol was in that last cocktail?" Cloud said good-naturedly. The wristband was still in his hand, and he was clutching it so tightly his knuckles were white.
"Oh, I don't know. Enough?" Aerith shrugged and pulled him towards the exit. "Come on, let's get to the chocobo stand before everyone else does."
On the way there, Cloud finally slipped the wristband onto one wrist. Aerith said nothing, only smiled, and waved her glow-stick obnoxiously in his face.
"Will you come next year?"
"Don't push your luck."
Aerith beamed at that, a whisper of a smile on her lips. "I'll take that as a yes."
-.-.-
Author's Notes: Coming back to this fandom after 20 years feels all sorts of strange. Hello to any old returners, and welcome to any newcomers! This was begging to be written after the Honeybee Inn scene and I had to oblige. It's a bit sketchy, but I have the game to complete on Hard mode waiting for me. I hope you enjoyed!