I awoke with a groan, rubbing a hoof across my tired eyes. "Morning." I rolled out of bed and flooped to the floor with a soft thump and lazily got to my hooves. I walked by the standing mirror with a groan, I noted the tangled mess that was my mane around my double horns. Most Kirin only had one horn but nature had seen fit to bless me with two, my orange mane stood out against my black coat color as my yellow eyes and striking red irises looked back at me.

"It's about time you got up." I looked over to the sneering Nirik as she spoke bitterly "it's well past noon. Your fat ass missed breakfast again." She was around the same size as me, her eyes were a constant white as they narrowed at me, her body was a sickly red color with plumes of fire that never seem to settle on what color they wanted to be at any given time, it seemed to flicker back and forth between blue and white most of the time. I sighed and looked away "no point." I walked to the stairs stepping around the various piles of junk and clothing that laid around in my home, "you can't even be bothered to clean the house. Why do you even bother living here if you're going to be so lazy?" I paid her grating, slightly gravelly voice little mind. I didn't have anything planned for the day, might as well see what's on T.V.

I walked into my living room and sat down in one of my two chairs. They were comfortable chairs, second hand fake leather armchairs that were destined for the dump had I not taken them to replace my old couch.

"You can't even afford a nice couch, well these chairs at least fit your means." I looked over to see her as she growled at me "maybe if you got a better job you might be able to do better for yourself." I sighed and turned on the T.V with a poke at the button as I continued into the kitchen. May as well get something in my stomach. I opened the fridge and poured a cup full of a sweet fizzy juice I couldn't seem to live without, I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin at the sight of that angry, disgusted sneer. "You're drinking that?" She spat the words as she pointed an accusatory split hoof at my drink of choice. "No wonder you're not losing any weight, once it's in your hooves it will go straight to your fat hips!" "Hmm, here I thought the saying was once past the lips, straight to the hips." I dismissed her dryly with practiced ease, taking a swig just to spite her.

"Yes you're so good, the very ground quakes from your presence." I settled myself back down in my chair with a pleased sigh. I'll need to switch chairs soon, these need to last me for a while, I didn't really have the money to replace them. Maybe I'll call my sister, see how her foal is doing. "The foal you wouldn't hold after he was born you mean? It's a good thing to, your sister already hates you, why would she ever let you hold her precious child?" I picked up my remote and began flipping through the channels "Yeah, I know as much. That's why I wouldn't hold him, didn't want to give her any ammo against me for later." Well that and the fact that foals kind of gross me out. "It's best you never have any, the very thought of you having a child," she snorted with a mirthful chuckle "the very thought makes me laugh!"

As if to emphasize her point she threw back her head and laughed even harder, it sounded like one of those loud obnoxious laughs that would draw the ire of everyone in a room. 'Well at least she's happy' I thought sarcastically. I continued to flip through the channels as I waited for something to catch my eye but nothing was appealing to me. My eyes drifted over to the hoofball equipment that was nearly arranged in it's specially made cubby. It was custom made, top of the line harness and pads that were painted in my team's colors. "Such a waste of money." I walked over to the cubby and pulled out my little game booklet and ran a hoof over it.

"Shit." I had accidentally flipped it open to my most recent play history which was completely red. Not a damn blue bar amongst them. The grading laughter that had quieted down earlier returned in another volly, only this time it was somehow louder than the one before "eight straight losses in a row?! Wow. The only link in all those matches was you!" She somehow managed to laugh even louder as my ears folded back against my head. "I did the best I could." I said with a stamp of my hoof. "Pathetic, you play the catcher, how in the hell do you mess that up? It's like the easiest job in the game, you literally sit there and hold a bucket." I stared at my equipment for a moment longer before turning away with a scowl.

"You're just a pound of sugar you know that?" I grunted out through gritted teeth "I know, I'm just like those cakes you love jamming in your mouth." She countered with an amused smile. I threw the small book back into the cubby with a tempered snort. "I'm taking a walk." Maybe that will help to sooth my frayed nerves a little, can't be getting too mad. I glanced back at her with a glare, "what? No comment?" I waited a moment for a response before shaking my head and shutting the door behind me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't bother talking to the ponies around me, despite how friendly folks around here tended to be. Then again I prefered to keep to myself so it wasn't really a problem to me. I wasn't all that interesting to talk to anyways so there was no point in taking part in idle chit chat with folks I barely spoke to.

As I walked I heard a familiar voice call out to me, it was Sea Breeze, she likely saw me out for one of my walks and called me over to her. She was a light blue earth pony with a slightly darker blue mane, she was also bulkier than I was. She was dressed in her slightly sweaty hoofball gear and gave me a friendly smile when I came over. "I was playing a few casual games today and saw you out, want to play?"

It was rare she would play with me for whatever reason now a days. Normally she was practicing for a competitive game with her other friends that were much better players than I was. I thought about it for a moment, this might actually be fun. I opened my mouth to accept when she spoke up. "Are you really gonna drag her games down? She'll destroy the other team with ease while you'll just be riding along on her tail. Does she deserve to have to babysit you the whole match?" She said with an all to familiar sneer. My mouth worked soundlessly as I thought through what she said, no. It wasn't fair to Sea Breeze.

I cracked an apologetic smile, "sorry Breeze, afraid my equipment needs some repairs and none of the gear here looks like it will fit me." The only thing wrong with my gear was the thick layer of dust that had settled over it. She looked slightly disappointed for a moment before nodding and turning back to her current team "alright, well if you find any that fits I'll be here for a while!" She ran back never seeming to notice the cracks starting to form in my mask. This is for the best, she'll do better without me anyways.

I turned back to the little walking path I liked to walk along. I found that it always helped to clear my mind, calm me down and let me think of better times. She fell into step beside me, she didn't even need to talk, her mere presence seeming to drain me of any joy. Why couldn't she just go away? No matter where I went, she was there. No matter who I was with, she was there. She would either sit quietly and just watch me, sensing, waiting for her opportunity to berate me with a snide comment or a venomous hiss.

I couldn't ever truly escape her, I also couldn't find the strength to confront her either. She would just go on, no one would say anything about her either, they were ignorant to her presence it seems but it's not like I ever bring her up either. Just as I never had the nerve to confront her, I also didn't have the nerve to expose her either. I was always smiles, laughs, and a constant stream of jokes. On the rare occasion someone would ask me if I was alright, I would think that I had the courage to finally come clean, lay everything out, ask for help; but she would shoot me a look. The look, it was a look that would shut me up. I would grin my wide, stupid grin and lie straight to the face of who ever I was talking to.

"Coward." I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her, she looked down her nose at me, contempt on her face and anger burning in her fiery eyes "I hate you." She turned her nose up in superiority "I know. The feeling is mutual."

I heard my name being called again and looked to see a friend of mine "Hey Sai, I saw you out walking and wanted to say hello." I smiled at the shortened nickname my friend had seen fit to give me, even though it was just a shortened version of my name, the mask I wore slipped back on my face almost effortlessly as Golden fields, another earth pony friend of mine, greeted me with an almost unsure smile on his lips. "Hey Goldy, it's been a while." I wanted to leave but before I could go he looked at me funny, like he was thinking about how to ask me something he thought was stupid or something "Sai, who were you talking to?" I spared a glance to the side, the Nirik scowling at me as I turned back with my most convincing fake smile "Just talking to myself Goldy."

He hadn't caught what was said, only that I was talking allowed at a bare patch of air, my own personal Nirik imperceivable to him. "Just myself."