The church that Steve chose was near the Green-Wood cemetery near their old apartment in Brooklyn. It was a small church that already look bad from the outside. The stone wall was damaged and the bricks under it could be seen with a red gleam. A few windows were cracked and the colourful pictures lost their shine. It could be assumed that the church was already closed and a paradise for urban explorers. But the church was still open. It was just in a neighbourhood where nobody cared about churches any longer. The surroundings didn't make it better at all. There were empty beer cans and a lot of cigarette ends.

Steve Rogers stood in front of the church and was alone. Of course, he was the first one who came but he couldn't go in there alone. He couldn't bare it to see his picture up there. Steve wanted this whole ordeal over fast, so he could go back home and be in his own pool of sadness and self pity.
He wished that his best friend was here to help him with this but sadly that was not possible. The captain took a deep breath and waited for the others to arrive at the church.
The next one who came was Natasha and she looked like she hadn't slept in a while and had cried for hours. Steve walked up to her and hugged her close. He didn't say a word. There were no words needed between them. They never needed words to understand each other. And right now where they both were in the same situation they just spoke with their eyes.
As they were all gathered, and most of them where already in the church, he took a deep breath and waited for the hearse. He knew he could carry the coffin on his own but not today. Not with the knowledge for whom this coffin was and what it meant.
The hearse arrived and he walked to the car. With 5 other men he carried the coffin. He swallowed hard and then walked passed all the people who came and didn't have the strength to look them in the eyes. He didn't want to see the pity in their eyes. Maybe sadness. Maybe guilt. So he looked down on the ground. He couldn't look forward too because he would just see something that he didn't want to see.

He walked down the aisle and then had the urge to look forward… He saw the picture of him with a lot of flowers and he was near a breakdown by just seeing it. His breath went faster and all he could do was stare at the picture. He still couldn't believe that he was gone now.
Even with the best proof on his shoulders he still hoped that it was some sort of sick joke and he would wait at home in the tower and when Steve comes home he would be there. Smiling like always.
For a moment, Steve had to close his eyes to get the picture out of his head. The picture of him smiling, leaning against the kitchen counter. Waiting for him to come home.
The stone floor let Steve's steps echo in the church and every echo reminded him what he was doing here. The coffin on his shoulders was getting heavier with each step.
Once they reached the end of the aisle they placed the coffin on the stand and Steve stood there for a while with his hand on the wooden bed of his best friend. He closed his eyes and silent tears ran down his face.

Bucky had told him that he didn't want people to cry at his funeral because there was nothing to cry about. He confessed to Steve one day, after they got drunk on Thor's Asgardian mead, that there was something good when he died. The Winter Soldier would be gone too, and nobody was in danger because of him.

Steve still had his hand on the coffin as the rest of people came in. Natasha walked to him. "I know it is hard." she said to him.
"Yes, it is. I can't believe it."
"We all can't."
Steve looked down and then at the people and noticed that more people came than he expected. He expected that it would be him, Natasha, Sam, Wanda and maybe Clint and Bruce.
But he could even see Vision and asked himself why he was here since Vision and Bucky just exchanged like two words. So Steve guessed because of Wanda. She and Bucky were surprisingly close. It was good to see her here. Steve was happy for them that they found each other.
As he saw Wanda going to Vision and hugging him, he had to think about Bucky and remembered the time where he and Bucky had something what you could call a relationship. Both men didn't know what they had but it was nice coming home and have somebody to cuddle. Steve smiled a bit and then his eyes were resting on someone he didn't expect to come.
Tony.

Steve frowned as he saw him and asked himself what he was doing here. Probably to ease his own demons. Or just to be here to help him thru it or Pepper told him come. He looked at Pepper as she walked up to him.
"Hey. My condolences." she said and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Pepper."
"Tony too, you know. He is just too himself to say anything." Pepper told him.
"I'm really surprised that he showed up at all." Steve confessed.
"Well, I guess the guilt has led him here." Pepper said.
Steve just raised an eyebrow. That was an answer that surprised him. Sure, Stark said some mean things to Bucky and ripped his arm off but he didn't expect Tony to feel guilt over it. Steve looked over the people to find him again. As he saw him he got worried. He looked sick and all in one just bad. He lost weight and had dark circles under his eyes.
"What is wrong with him?" Steve asked Pepper.
"He drinks, stays up late, doesn't eat, just works and ignored me. That is wrong with him and since Siberia he drinks and works more than normal..." Pepper let out a sigh. Done with Tony's behaviour. She only stayed with him so he won't end up dead.
"I'm sorry, Pepper." Steve said with sentiment because he knew how hard this must be for her.
"It is okay." Pepper looked at him and then went back to her seat besides Tony.

The priest came from a back room and Steve walked to his seat in the first row together with Natasha on his side and Sam. He sat down and noticed that even the seats weren't very comfortable. Nothing about this day was comfortable. So why should the wooden benches be?
The surroundings didn't make the situation better. The church was cold and mostly stone. It was a bizarre feeling for Steve. Everything was just cold. Steve was sitting on a wooden bench in the church and shifted in his place. He just couldn't sit still. He was nervous and so many other emotions passed thru his body. He just couldn't keep them in.

He wore the same black suit that he also wore at Peggy's funeral. He hoped that Peggy's funeral would be the last time he would wear that but of course he knew that wouldn't be the case.
It started raining outside and the raindrops were falling heavily against the glass. Every drop that fell down on the roof of the church Steve got reminded that he lost him. Forever.
Steve could still not believe it. He lost his best friend. He looked around the church and saw the few sad faces.

He felt uncomfortable in this church and suddenly everything started spinning around him. It was like everything was just too much for him. He could feel how is getting weak suddenly. He lost him and he would never come back. And this time there was no hope for reunion. He was dead. There were no doubts on that. Suddenly the reality hit him of what happened and he felt sick.
He couldn't handle the fact that he had to carry his coffin down the aisle. That it was really him. Everything was so surreal. It felt like a dream.
The spinning continued in his head and he laid his head in one of his hands. He closed his eyes for a bit and hoped it would get better.
Everything felt like packed in cotton and behind an invincible veil of greyness. He didn't even notice that the priest said his name to say a few words about his best friend. Every voice in the church was drawn out and he couldn't hear them.

Steve could feel what was happening to him but he didn't even think that this was possible after the serum. He tried to fight back and took a deep breath. He could feel that he was about to lose control over it.
He felt how his chest tightened and he couldn't breathe any longer. He heard a buzzing that wasn't there for the others and tried to get rid of it with a hand movement that looked like he was about to get rid of bees. He looked at Sam besides him and could see Sam's worried expression on his face. Sam said something to him but he couldn't make out what it was. Steve tried to concentrate and with enough will he could hear Sam saying that it was his turn to say something.

Everything was very slow and as he tried to stand up he started to see black spots. He could feel how his balance wasn't the best so he tried to grab the post of the church bench.
Steve didn't notice that the post was way out of line and grabbed the air. He could see Sams worried face and how Sam stood up quickly. For a moment he was asking himself why Sam would stay up but then he could feel how he fell on the cold stone ground. He could feel how he hit his head on the stone floor.

The few people who were attending this funeral looked at him with shock and worry on their faces. Nobody thought that this would happen.
Steve just laid there and suddenly the black spots got bigger and bigger. He did his best to fight the unconsciousness and tried to stand up again but it didn't really matter. The weakness and the unconsciousness won and he blacked out. But not completely. Not yet. He still could feel things and was still aware of certain things.

Wanda watched Steve standing up and felt that something wasn't right with him. As he collapsed on the ground Wanda didn't know what to do so she just stood there besides Vision and watched the scene unfold. Like the rest of the people. This must have hit him very hard. She knew what it felt like to lose the last person who grew up with you and who laughed with you and was always there. The last person on the earth who knew the old you.

Steve could feel how people began to rush over to him. He could feel strong and big hands who were shaking him. Sam's hands. Then there was another pair of hands who were holding him. They felt cold and smaller. Natasha's hands.
He could feel his heart shattered into thousands of pieces all over again. This felt like the phone call all over again. The phone call he never wanted to get. He felt shocked and scared to the core.
He tried to be strong the whole time. Tried to be strong for the rest. He didn't want them to see how hard this was for him. He knew that everyone would be understanding but he didn't want them to see. He wasn't the most open person. He tried to smile and not share a tear like his friend wanted him to. But it was just impossible and now it got to him. It got to him so bad that he just collapsed.