Luan Loud just feels her theatrical blood running through her veins. Skipping a beat on every step she goes and humming a catchy Broadway-like beat on every time she lands on a tile, Luan soaks into the vibe for the day. It is Friday. And it is the time of the week when her Theatre Club meets, even if they have no production. But they are in for a surprise for the afternoon.
Once she got through her morning classes, the 14-year-old comedienne sprints to the auditorium to see the club members seated on each side of the wooden stage. She then sits beside her boyfriend Benny when she notices their moderator Mrs. Bernardo facing behind while sitting on a pile of books, almost in a meditative pose.
"Hey, what's going on?" Luan greets Benny.
"Oh hey Luan!" he responds, "We don't know yet. When we got in, Mrs. Bernardo just sat like that."
"She must have taken her breathing exercises to the extreme," Amy, a ginger-haired girl with freckles, deduces.
"Or probably she is internalizing her part in The Tempest?" Rex, another cast member, reacts.
"Why would she be internalizing for a Shakespeare play right now?" Jackie, a tall, slender cast member, retorts.
"I thought she has a one-woman show?" Luan intervenes.
Suddenly, Mrs. Bernardo instructs them, "Children, vocal exercise #74." It is as if she heard her students' murmurs. "Move in a circle and vocalize."
Likewise, the club stands up and does their vocal exercise. "We are good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good…" And for the last "…good", they lower their voices.
Mrs. Bernardo herself motions her both index fingers to twist around, as if she is magically gesturing her students to move around and ring out their true voices. It is as if she internalizing for something magical.
Seven minutes later, the theater auteur tells them, "Halt it, my children. Splendid. You have now captured the magic we need."
The teens gather in a semi-circle as Mrs. Bernardo finally faces them in an enthusiastic mood. Though, she was consistent prior. "Thank you for dedicating your time for the wonder of theater. It is not an easy time today. But glad that you enriched that energy I knew you had it in all of you."
It is a pat in the back that the club needs.
"Now, you must be wondering why I am sitting on a stack of books…" But as one teen is about to ask, she interrupts, "…and no, these aren't your algebra books, even if they look like them. Take this as a riddle for our next big production: just because you find that life's not fair, it doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it."
Leo, a round boy with a mohawk, raises his hand, "Oh, are we doing West Side Story?"
"No," Mrs. Bernardo answers.
"Or Rent?" Parvana asks as well.
"Sweeney Todd?" Rex adds up.
"Or Cats? Or that new episode of The Masked Singer where the unicorn turned out to be a horse?" Spencer, the brawny member of the Sports Club, asks standoffishly.
"Those are two horrible things, Mr. Spencer," Mrs. Bernardo sternly responds to him. "And why are you even here? Shouldn't you be on the Sports Club?"
"I am jumping clubs back and forth," he replies with a grin. "But that's alright. I give my 100 here."
With her eyes glaring at him, she replies, "Let's hope you do." But Bernardo gets back to her excited mood. "Well, children, thanks to my extended partnerships with friends – and dinner theater guests whom I have to beg, Royal Woods High School and Elementary decided to cooperate for a grand production of Matilda the Musical."
"WHAT?! Really?!" Everybody in the room has his/her jaws drop when Mrs. Bernardo gave the news with finesse.
"That's right. We got the right from the Royal Shakespeare Company to do our own production, and a lot will be inspired by the West End and Broadway productions!"
With some of the kids having heard of the musical before, the enthusiasm just hollers across the auditorium. Luan and Benny just smile to each other.
"That's it, my dear troupe. That's all the energy we need for our production. Just miraculous." As the joy slowly dies down, Mrs. Bernardo announces, "Now, I don't want to drain you of your spirit. Now, I'll be giving the scripts this time. And next Friday. Auditions."
As such, Mrs. Bernardo gives out the scripts to the club members and posts the roles needed. While the adult roles (including the students who look like adults) will go to the high school students, the children roles will go to the elementary kids.
Looking upon the script, Benny asks Luan as they walk through the halls. "There are few notable adult parts here. Who do you think you'll want to play?"
"Not sure," Luan answers as she gleams carefully. "The choices are a tyrannical headmistress, a ditzy housewife and a teacher who is literally named Honey. I think it's obvious who."
"The newt?" Benny quips, referencing the musical (and the Roald Dahl source material).
They just laugh it off.
Luan continues on, "Okay, on a 'scale' of 1-10, how much do you think I fit in the role as the newt?"
They laugh together again.
"Maybe cold-blooded sorts…"
"I 'newt' that…"
After, the two part ways for the day.
As Luan gets home, Lola suddenly lands towards in front of her. "Luan! Luan! Glad you're here."
"Oh Lola, what's up?" Luan asks.
"What do you think?" The 6-year-old beauty queen clears her throat before she demonstrates an act, in the vein of Meryl Streep in Florence Foster Jenkins. "To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether this nibbler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…"
Luan immediately knows what she is quoting but she surmises one thing without being harsh: Lola has a nasally unconvincing voice in her try-hard line delivery. "So…what got you into Shakespeare all of a sudden?"
"Well, with this beauty fully trained, I need to finally train my hidden acting range."
"Acting range?"
"Yeah, I heard your theatre club is doing a production of Matilda. And I need to prepare for next Friday's auditions!"
Luan is sort of in skepticism over Lola's sudden pursuit of acting onstage. Though, being an empathetic sister, she goes along with caution. "Really? You want to act onstage?"
"Yeah, that's the word." As Lola looks upon her sister, she notices her doubtful expression. "You seemed to think I am joking."
"No, not at all," Luan replies. "It's just sudden. Your sudden leap of interest from beauty pageants to stage productions."
"It's a clever way to expand your portfolio to show how you have range."
"Good point there."
"So, what do you think of my audition piece?"
Luan tries to formulate the best words to describe Lola's performance. "Hmmm how about it's there but could use a couple of steps, or more."
"What does that supposed to mean?"
"You just need more practice. And I don't think Hamlet excerpt works for a children's story."
"But did I made it work?"
"My word still stands. Acting is not just simply 'acting'."
"I know that, since you guys are so convinced by my acting range. Remember that time when you let me into your Secret Secrets Club?"
"We know, Lola. We know."
On her knees, Lola desperately begs her sister to help her. "Please Luan! I need your help! I really want to get the big role of Matilda so bad?!"
"Uh-uh. Please!"
"Really?" While Luan is doubtful that Lola is a right fit for a character who is a mischievous yet caring bibliophile with telekinetic abilities, she is just stunned at her younger sister's pleas. Feeling pity, Luan reluctantly agrees. "Look Lola, not bringing my ego or yours to the table definitely. But you have a long way to go, like one-week long way to go preparation."
"Oh bring it on!" Lola enthusiastically agrees. "I prepared for Ms. Auntie Anne's for one day. Easy."
The following week, the auditions take place. The child performers from Royal Woods Elementary take their turn first. And their audition pieces goes along with the first song of the musical.
A Chinese girl sings, "My mommy says I'm a miracle…"
An African-American kid belts out, "My daddy says I'm his special little guy…"
An Irish lass carols, "I am a princess…"
A Hispanic boy boasts, "And I am a prince…"
Simultaneously, four girls harmonize, "Mom says I'm an angel sent down from the sky…"
Then, a Jewish lad and a Pakistani youngster paired up sing, "My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. No one is as handsome, strong as me. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. But I'm his little soldier! Hup, 2-4-3!"
Altogether, the elementary students audition piece is this excerpt from Act One's "Miracle".
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a trust empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!
So far, Mrs. Bernando and her fellow judges have not found their top picks. One judge, Kotaro for some reason, quotes the song itself to voice his dismay:
One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days
It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions these days
Special-ness seems de rigueur
Above average is average—go figure
Is it is come modern miracle of calculus
That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous
Yet, Mrs. Bernardo becomes his reasonable voice, saying, "At least you get to work in a fine restaurant. And you must know the tribulations of preparing a well-made dish." And at the middle of a braced kid auditioning, the dinner theater aficionado climbs onstage to voice out her encouragement via the Doctor's verse of "Miracle".
Every life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence, almost infinitely small
The most common thing in life is life
And yet every single life, every new life is a miracle!
Miracle! Miracle!
Thanks to that, the judges are convinced to move on with the next round of kids. Nearly eighty young performers audition for a role in Matilda that even the older kids are stunned at their large number. The kids have the same audition pieces:
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as…
Though Lola is the last to audition, the current process goes down to one of her peers she recently bonded with. She walks to the stage, nervous and shaky. Her raven pigtails slightly bother her, so does her gray overall dress with long sleeves. Nevertheless, she likes to give it a try.
"Hello!" Mrs. Bernardo greets her, "Who you might be, dear?"
In a soft yet audible voice, she utters, "Meli."
"Well Meli, who do you wish to play?"
"Anyone at the top of my mind. But any can do…" Meli nervously states.
"We shall see," Mrs. Bernardo replies. "Take it away!"
After a deep breath, Meli sings:
My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm
My daddy says I'm a bore
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ
That kids like me should be against the law
My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole
No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me
Mum says I'm a good case for population control
Dad says I should watch more TV
Though that is the end of the song, she segues to her actual audition piece…