Goat Simulator
All my life I have been empty. The doctors could not tell me why I was so depressed, and I never knew myself until today. I needed to experience my life as a goat. Goat Simulator has filled the void in my life.
Whether it was playing football with a basketball, swinging lampposts into groups of people or even doing 1080 degree flips, there was no limit to life as a goat. I didn't think it could get any better than this.
I was wrong.
As I jumped and screamed my way around the map, leaving a path of destruction in my wake, I happened upon a golden statue. Curiosity overtook me and I resisted the urge to grab it no longer. My life as a goat changed completely. I had a jetpack.
I knew that this was meant to be, and what my mission from the Great Coffee Stain in the sky was. I was granted the supergoat power of being able to lift people and cars with my tongue. I could survive any impact. I could slow down time with mere thought. Now I could fly. It was time for world domination. Humanity had to be silenced so that the new goat overlords could reign supreme.
All the humans are dead or enslaved. I have won. I am the goat, the goat is me.